• bloody petals •

toya pov // first person

Akito isn't in lesson, I wonder if he went home. His cough really did sound strange. I'm sure everything is alright, he would've said if he was really that ill.

We only have about 10 minutes left anyway, so there's no point questioning it or going after him. I'll see if he is where we usually sit at break, and speak to him then.

/////////////

I finish jotting down my work, bored as it creeps to the last minute left. The teacher comes over and checks my work, smiling at me.

"You can go a little early, Toya, considering you always do outstanding at essays." She smiled at me. It's slightly pointless. I don't know if she thinks being let go 2 minutes early makes a students life better completely, but it doesn't really make.. any difference at all.

I smile at her and say thank you, packing up my things into my bag as I get up and nearly run to my meeting spot with him. I get there, extremely relieved to see Akito stood, his hands in his pockets.

"Are you alright? You weren't in last period." I blink, smiling at him.

"Wow Toya, I genuinley couldn't tell that." Akito clapped at me and I roll my eyes, scoffing.

"Yeah no, my head just felt really strange, so I stayed in the bathrooms." He replied to me reassuringly. We go to the canteen, heading for a table before I pause.

"I'm hungry. Come get food with me." I say as I drag him into the line. I see him look at the food, before he looks away again, back at me. He smiles happily.

He smiles a lot more recently. I'm not saying it's bad, but it's just.. did something good happen? Is he just happier? Or is it to cover something? Hide it from me?

I shake my head off and drop it. Honestly, I'm glad. I hope that he's feeling happier. A couple things have seriously shaken him up, and I don't blame him for being upset sometimes.

I get something to eat before I spot Hana. I walk over to her and Akito trails behind me.

"Heya!" Hana says happily, looking at both me and Akito. I watch as he smiles at her, his hands in his pockets.

"Hi. You alright?" I return the same cheery tone she passes to me. I see Akito look at me, then at the floor for a second, blinking. He zones out, his expression flat.

"I'm gonna go, I have to talk to a teacher about extending essay hand in time." She smiled at me and waved then walked off.

akito pov //

Did he ever talk to me like that? In the really happy, energetic way?

When has Toya ever even spoken like that, with such excitement, just at a greeting?

I snap back to him poking my shoulder, and I blink at him blankly. I feel a tingle in my throat, and panic immeditely.

"I need to use the bathroom. I'll be right back." I nod, and he does too, talking to other classmates in the meantime. I lock myself in and do the same painful process over. Petals, into my hands. Multiple more come out every time I cough them up.

I'm bored of it already. I'd rather it kill me off than feel the sharp ass pain in my chest every single time I watch Toya and Hana interact. I blink and go back out, realising it was the next lesson.

////////////

I wait until four o'clock, listening to music in my room, my head over the edge of my bed hung upside down. Me, Toya, An and Kohane all agreed to meet in Sekai to practice. I lick my lips and change the track to ready steady.

I'm used to the dumb blinding flash by now. I walk into crase cafe, seeing everybody else seated already.

"Oh, there you are." An nodded, smiling. I wave at her before Toya drags me over to the inside stage eagerly.

"It's been forever since we practiced, I swear." He says to me, smiling. My throat feels like I swallowed glass, sore cuts left down it. I nod and smile, itching my neck as if it'll help, or give me some kind of relief.

I breathe in through my nose, as KAITO decides to pick out a song we haven't done in a while as a trio. I think my heart genuinley leaps out my chest when it's my queue and I can't fucking sing.

I cough, looking down as I cover my mouth.

"Are you.. good..?" KAITO frowns.

"Jesus christ. Your voice. Have you lost it?" Toya asked. I nodded, stressing out internally. Stop coughing. Stop it. I eventually manage to shove it all down and usher myself, but every breath is an agonising prick against my lungs.

I did not agree to this bloody thing growing inside of me. I didn't sign no consent form. And it hurts too, which I know I technically did get warning for, but I could've at least been told how damn bad it was. I'd rather shoot myself.

I sigh as I sit down, crossing my legs on the sofa, Toya next to me. MEIKO makes us hot drinks, and it soothes my throat just for the time being. People are talking around me, and it crosses my mind how they are innocently unaware that I am currently dying.

An squints at me, as if suspecting that something is wrong. She pulls my jumper sleeve up and tugs me out of the cafe, sitting against the wall with me.

"Your seriously ill, but you'd be a grumpy old bitch if you were feverish, so what the hell is going on?" An frowned.

"Don't tell anyone. Except for Kohane. She knows everything anybody tells you regardless of if you swear on your mums life that you won't tell a soul." I roll my eyes.

"You know the drill." An nodded.

"Mhm. So my mum took me to the doctors because she thought I might have a chest infection, and he did some scanning shit and came out with hanahaki disease." I rub my eyes. Just by telling An with a few words, it's lifted a little pressure off my shoulders.

"Oh my god." An covered her mouth. I'm guessing she knows exactly what that is. No need for me to explode into some massive explanation, thankfully. I hug my knees up to my chest, sighing.

"I have absoloutely no idea what to do." I blink helplessly.

"He's got a girlfriend, and I'm not prepared to confess to him while he's in a relationship with her." I think it's pretty reasonable. I choke on my breathe and start coughing, a few petals falling into my hand.

An takes one of the sunflower fragments out of my palm and inspects it.

"There's blood spots all over it." She said quietly, looking up at me with worry in her widened eyes.

"Woah, An's a genius today." I say under my breath, freaking out as the cough doesn't go away this time. I convulse, and petals scruffily get thrown down, instead of somewhat gracefully glide.

They are covered in my blood.

Not like, little spots. We are talking coated in crimson.

My throat. I cant talk. I open my mouth to speak to An but pure blinding pain engulfes me, as I desperately try and relieve it by scratching at the skin on my neck.

I tilt my hand and tread on them, leaving them on the floor before I walk back into Crase cafe. I swallow down tears of agony.

"Akito, we were just talking about the festival coming up. I think it's a lantern festival. We should go as a four." Toya looked at me eagerly.

"We could do." An answered for me. I nodded and smiled, gritting my teeth as I slumped down next to Toya.

"It's in two days! I think we would all like it." Kohane nodded. I lean back, and I watch as An eyes me, watching how I move.

I'm aware that I just coughed up yellow flowers with a shit tonne of blood, but she's making it obvious that somethings wrong with me.

"I'm gonna head out, I need to get back to my dad." Kohane said to us happily.

"He wants to watch a few films with me." She smiled, and said bye to us all. I muster up courage for about eight entire minutes, before I speak up.

"I need to go home too. My mum needs help." I wave at them before I pause the track and appear back in my room. I collapse onto the floor, trembling as I finally let myself burst.

I sit back against my wall, breathing in and out quickly, salty tears running down my hot cheeks.

Ena crashes into my room and I hide my face, looking away from her so she couldn't see my state. I tried my hardest to stop crying, but you don't just go straight from sobbing to quiet in seconds.

"Erm.. Are you like, good?" She asked, itching the back of her head.

"Get the fuck out." I slam the door and lock it.

"My bad for trying to care." She shouted, and walked back into her room. She was pressumably talking to Mizuki on discord, because I hear her start talking.

I roughly wipe my eyes, trying to scrub the tears away, before I feel my chest tighten. I'm not going to cough. My stomach drops. I'm going to fucking throw up.

/////////

1602 words

IM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG

this is my defense:

1) i lost all my motivation and left it for like a week idk smth like that (sorry)

2) school started and i was so tired

3) my parents took my bloody phone so i couldn't post it yesterday

thank you SO MUCH for the reads 💗💗

anyway my motivation is back now so i will carry on writing and post a chapter tommorow probably love u all