• words never quite finished •

akito pov //

I sit in my mirror, my steady hand stroking a singular line across the corner of my eye.

Toya said I look really good with eyeliner. He does too, so we both wear it a lot.

We both agreed to meet at 12, before the festival, so we could walk around and look at different stalls.

I'll probably eat a few things from each one. I don't know how much time is left for me, but it's a completely useless amount.

Ena knocks on my door then walks in, sitting on my bed with crossed legs. I don't really care what she's doing. I move to the other eye.

"So, what was that about yesterday?" She smirked.

"Huh?" I respond, confused.

"Your little lip exchange with the one and only Toya." She smiled.

"Did you confess?" Ena questioned.

"I didn't kiss him. I already told you this morning when you asked. No, I didn't confess." I put the eyeliner down, satisfied with the look. I turn around to her, facing her.

"Denial, denial, denial." She sighed, tutting as she shook her head.

"You totally kissed. And I can guarantee he wants to do it again." She crossed her arms.

"Just shut up." I look at her. She shoots me a dirty look and struts out my room.

I get changed- cargo trousers with a baggy jumper on top of a basic white shirt. I add jewellery- necklaces, rings and bracelets. I also switch around my earrings to be little stars that dangle down slightly. I put simple small hoops in my second and helix peircings.

I get a message from Toya and grab my phone, checking it quickly.

(toya) hey, you got a rough time of when you'll be there?

(akito) hiya uhh probs 11:55

(toya) okay cool

(akito) toya

(toya) what

(akito) why are you there already 😭😭

(toya) STOP how did you know

(akito) because i know you

(akito) god damn early mf

(akito) alright i'm coming i still stand by 11:55

(toya) okay, see you then

(akito) okay

I put my phone in a tote bag I'm taking, alongside a few other necessities like money and keys.

"Alright, I'm leaving now. I hope I don't run into you." I call to Ena.

"Hope I don't run into you too." She retorted, upturning her nose. I smile and walk out. My parents are out- probably at an art venue for my dad.

I put music on through my headphones, walking to the spot we would meet at.

I have a really, really bad feeling about today. I know that the last thorn is already latched on, it just needs to dig into my skin. I can barely breathe properly now.

I'm just scared that it's going to happen today.

I approach where me and Toya agreed to meet slowly, taking breaths to push down the looming dismay. He has his back turned toward me, so I take my chance to sneak up on him.

I pounce onto his back, my chin on his shoulder as I hug him. It brightens my mood slightly, so I don't mind.

"Oh, hello!" He smiles.

"Hi!" I reply, slipping my headphones down onto my neck.

"Everything alright?" Toya asks. I nod, happy that I can spend time with him.

"Where do you wanna go first?" I ask, curious to know what he wants to try out the most.

"Look, wait, is that An and Kohane?" He pointed over to two people not too far away from us.

We walk over together and find that it is them, and decide to merge into a four. It works, so why not?

"I'm pretty sure the lantern things are on at 6 o'clock when it hits dark, so we have plenty of time to mess around and chill." Kohane smiled.

"Definitely! Toya, Toya Toya Toya!! I wanna try an arcade game with you. I will beat you!" She smirked.

"An, you really wont. He's like a damn machine when it comes to arcades." I look at him softly and shake my head, smiling.

"Nu uh. I will beat him." She crossed her arms.

"An you'll only hate yourself and everyone around you when you loose." Kohane sighed.

"Stop it! You're all miserable." She demanded.

"Where did Toya even go?" Kohane laughed. I looked around.

"Oh my god.." I laugh, sighing. He had ran over to a plushie stand, and was desperately looking at me.

"Akito I reaaaally want the Pochacco one. Pleeease?" He asked.

"Dude, why are you asking me? Go for it, just make sure it's not over half of the money you've got with you. You still want to eat and have a chance to do other things." I smile.

"Okay okay okay." He said excitedly, and I watched him buy it.

"God you're such a little kid." I laugh, and drag him back over to the girls.

"Awww, he's really cute." Kohane smiled at Toya, signalling to the plush.

"He's really warm too." Toya whispered.

"I remember when the dumbass strutted through the entirety of Kamiyama with a massive plushie in his hands for Tsukasa's birthday." An laughed.

"Like the back of my damn hand." I smile.

"Hey! He liked it, at least!" Toya frowned.

"I know, I know." Looking at him, I kind of take in the pretty view.

He turns his head and smiles at me, his eyes closed for a moment as he does. I would actually just lean forward and kiss him.

We walk around stalls, laughing and smiling together. Overall, it was a really nice day to have with the people that are closest to my heart.

An did end up losing to Toya at the arcade games, then looked like she'd bitten a wasp for the next ten minutes. I playfully hit her shoulder and told her to get over it, so she rolled her eyes then couldn't help but laugh, getting on with having fun.

We stop for lunch, finding a burrito stand to take from. Not gonna lie, it's really fucking good. I bite down and munch on it, absorbed in watching birds fly past as I sheild my eyes from the sun.

We find a clear patch in a large area of the feild that's been used for the festival, and sit down in a sort of circle type thing with the four of us.

I cough a little but hold back, my throat tight as I try to contain it best I can. I check the time- 3:28.

Uhh, so around...

I can't do maths. I itch my head, trying to focus on solving it.

"Is he good?" An frowned at me. I murmur to myself backtracking from 6 to 3 and then forward to 3:30.

"Oh my god.. wait." Something distracts me and makes me have to redo it.

"I give up. How long until 6?" I ask Toya.

"Are you actually that stu- okay. 2 and a half hours." He responded.

"Shut up, I hate time." I squint.

"Yeah, so much that you straight up refuse to learn it, so now you're like the only person who just doesn't know how to read a damn clock." An muttered irritably.

"It's so annoying because you're just whining in my ear all lesson asking what the time is. Learn! It!" She demanded. I put my arms up and surrender.

"Jesus christ I'm sorry." I frown.

"Yeah. That's what I thought." She joked, crossing her arms. I roll my eyes.

Toya looks at me nervously before slipping his hand into mine, linking our fingers together. It's like they were meant to be for each other, holding each other.

His skin is so soft it drives me insane, and his eyes- his majestic, grey eyes. The colour is so cold, but one that you need in order to help you when it's too hot.

I lick my lips, sniffing as I pick at a clump of grass on the floor.

"Stop licking your lips, it makes it worse." Toya muttered.

"Why do you watch him lick his lips?" An questioned Toya, squinting as she smirked.

"No not like tha-" He begins.

"Most definitely like that." Kohane butted in. Toya blushed and looked away, rubbing his forehead.

"Whatever!" He retorts, glaring at both of the girls. I'm still fiddling with the grass.

"Dude, stop." I murmur to myself, getting pissed off when the singular blade I was picking at wouldn't rip away from the cluster.

I frown, before I glare at it resentfully and scream at it telepathically.

"What the hell are you even doing?" Kohane frowned at me.

"The dumb grass is being dumb." I say dissapprovingly.

"Uh, okay..." An frowned at me, then went back to Toya. Kohane finished off her food and we got up and walked around more.

I cant ignore the itching in my throat, permanently stuck there. It irritates constantly but I need to ignore it. I have to. I must.

I did actually run into Ena, with the rest of her group. I've seen the blue haired one like once before, I swear she's never out.

"Kanade got out of the house, finally." Ena muttered.

"Ew. Who are you?" I pull a disgusted face and hide behind Toya, joking around.

"Okay, number one, wow. Number two, shut the fuck up." She frowned at me.

"Ewwwww who is that?" I point at Ena, gagging as I ask Toya. I'll talk to her in a second, I just wanna piss her off first. It's the funniest thing.

"Oh my god just shut up." She glared.

"I'm joking. Have you eaten anything?" I ask.

"No, we were looking for any good food stalls." She nodded.

"Go to the burrito one. It's actually delicious." I blink, smiling at her. Mizuki was talking to An, Kohane and Toya, deep in discussion.

Eventually we split off again, going seperate ways. I'll probably see her on the main feild where the lantern show takes place anyway.

Eventually we settle when the sun begins to sink, sitting down with each other.

I look around at Toya. He's breathtaking. Literally.

He's so pretty it hurts me, and I don't care if it genuinley does. I'd hurt for him for my entire life if it meant I could talk to him everyday. I get a message.

(E) i can see ur ass staring toya down

(E) please be careful akito

(E) it was already unhealthy being around toya from day one of having the disease

(A) i don't give two shits if it's unhealthy

(A) i want to be with him

(E) fine but i'm lingering close in case anything happens

(A) nothing will happen

I look up again as I realise the sun is gone, leaving us with night. Toya's gazing into it, stars reflecting in his eyes.

My throat tightens.

No. No. Fuck. Why?

toya pov.

I glance around at Akito, but he was already looking at me. I smile at him.

His face scrunches in.. pain..?? Why?

"Are you alright?" I frown, looking around at him.

"Yeah, whenever I'm with you." He whispered back, as I held his hand.

I cant shake the image of his expression from my head.

There's something deeper than 'Yeah.' Hes definitely brushing me off.

"Akito you look pained." I turn to him, putting my hand under his chin. Just now I see the tears welled in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" I frown.

"I've kept it from you the whole time, Toya." He rasped. What happened to his voice? My mind is racing. An and Kohane don't realise.

I had no idea somebodies heartbeat could pick up in the snap of a finger, but I just discovered it could.

"I'll tell you. I'll tell you what I've been ill with and why." He smiles. I swallow nervously.

Finally.

Maybe he gave in because it hurts him too much, and he finally decided to tell me? I'm not sure.

"Toya I-" He got cut off by coughing, bursts of convulses. I jumped, blinking quickly.

"Akito?" I put my hand on his shoulder. He stops coughing, bringing his hand away from his mouth. He's holding something in his palm, his fist clutched tightly around it.

He looks at me, a few tears falling from his eyes as they roll down his cheeks.

"You made my life so much better the day I met you." He whispered, smiling as he started crying a little harder.

"You really lit up the grey world I was dragging myself through. I didn't think I'd ever be as happy as I got to be when I was around you." He put his hand on my cheek.

An realised. I've never seen that girl panic as hard as she did in that moment. She put her hand over her mouth and started silently crying, watching both of us.

"You saved me, Toya, from everything. You saved me from myself." He whispered.

I'm so confused.

"I know that I've kept this from you the entire time, but you kinda deserve to know. I've been a little selfish." He smiled.

"I'm infected with Hanahaki disease." He showed me the petals and blood in his hands.

"Did that come from when you coughed?" I frown, alarm spiking me, shivers spreading through my skin immediately.

"It's a disease caused from unrequited love." An answered for him. She showed me a page on google and I read through it quickly, panicking. Akito's trembling.

"Toya you were everything I ever dreamed of and more." He whispered, before holding my hand with his shaky one.

"I'm so sorry." He cried, before coughing more, covering his mouth. It got worse immeditely.

The coughs turned into desperate chokes for air, as he scratched at his neck.

His body collapsed against mine, as I wrapped my arms around him immeditely, me crying too. I don't know what's going on, but I'm scared. I'm fucking scared.

"A-Akito? Akito?" I ask, shaking.

Everything descends to chaos.

"Toya. I lo-" He coughed again, gasping for air that wouldn't come.

The chokes morph into him twitching ever so often, his voice cutting out completely, everything stopping. He was sobbing, his arms wrapped around my neck.

His trembling body kept doing repeated spasms, and he jammed his eyes shut.

"It hurts." He cried, his voice functioning for a moment again.

"It hurts, Toya. But I'd hurt for you, Always." He whispered, crying gently.

"I-I'm here! I'm here, Akito. It's okay. It'll all be okay." I stroke the back of his head, my eyes watering.

"It's n- not-" He groaned, coughing again. He got blood down my shirt.

"I'm s-so-" He tried to apologise but I started crying hard as I leaned forward and didn't hesitate to hug him again.

"Akito? Akito oh my god." I sob, burying my face into his shoulder as he just- he just- I don't even know what he's doing-

Everything clicked.

It all slotted perfectly into place.

My heart feels like it just fell through my entire body.

Goosebumps over took my body as my face dropped. The kind that are cold, the ones that spread through your skin and make you shiver.

The jigsaw puzzle is complete, the missing peice just fell into place.

His reaction when I mentioned Hana.

The way he acted weird for a few days after he found out.

The blood on his hands on Vivid street when I forgot we were meant to go out.

The blood on his lap in school, dripping from his mouth.

When he came to my house after school one day and threw up, looking ill, coughing a lot.

Oh my god.

His trembling body collapsed down, laying on the floor as he weakly tried to get up, but fell back down. He had stopped coughing. I cradled him in my arms.

His chest isn't moving. His head turned around to mine.

"I love you, Toya." He rasped, caressing my cheek gently.

I burst into tears as I hesitated, holding him up to my chest, his arm dropping limp.

"I love you too, Akito." I sniff in, sobbing.

I don't get a reply.

W- wh- I thought if you confessed back everything.. everything would be okay? I glanced over it when An showed me the explanation.

I pull him away from me, as I look at his pale face, his closed eyes. A small trickle of blood dropped from his mouth.

I gently opened it, seeing the flower in his mouth, the thorns stuck into his throat. Blood seeped out instantly.

I whimper, covering my mouth.

He's dead.

It's all my fault. Why did I hesitate? Why the fuck did I hesitate? Idiot. It's all my fault.

I start manically crying onto his chest, my face hung low with my hair drooped, sitting on his shirt.

"No no. No no no. No. No. Wake up." I cry, covering my mouth, looking at his face as I gently hold my hand on it.

Kohane and An are both panicking. Kohane calls the ambulance, with no idea what else to do.

"Akito? Wake up." I wipe my eyes, holding his hand as I gently press my lips to it.

Ena spots us and sprints over, already crying.

"No. No." I run my hands through my hair as I tighten my grip and roughly pull it, causing pain to prick my whole skull.

"It's all my f-fault." I smile, laughing at myself.

Laughing at how pathetic I am. How fucking stupid I am.

Everything happened so fast.

I mean, one second we were just about to watch the lantern festival. In the next five minutes, he's dead. Dead on the floor, from my doing. My own fault.

If I had just sucked it up? Just confessed earlier and stopped denying it, like the selfish prick I am?

Maybe he'd still be here.

I hear blurry sirens. Somebody around us must've called an ambulance. I forgot we were in public. They dragged me away. I yelled, ripping my arms away as I ran after Akito, holding him close to me, his body limp in my arms.

His head dropped back, and I saw as one of the flower heads poked out his mouth.

I was pulled away again, separated from Akito.

"Stop it! Don't do anything!" I cry, trying to break free of the hands tugging me back.

"Akito!" I sob, reaching out to absoloutely nothing.

I give in, letting myself get shoved into the back of an ambulance, a trembling mess.

What happened?

Today was perfect.

I was planning to confess during the show.

Now he's fucking gone. I break down quietly, whimpering as I wipe my eyes.

"There's no saving him. He's gone. I'm really sorry." A doctor kneeled by my side.

"I know." I cover my eyes, embarassed that I'm crying so hard.

It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault.

"Shut up. Shut up!" I say to myself, hitting my forehead.

I groan painfully and break down harder, breathing in desperate gasps of air, not knowing what to do.

Oh god, Oh god I feel so sick. Vomit rises in my throat. I try and swallow it down, crying not helping me.

Insecurity charges at me at once. Everything. Akito helped me overcome it all. Now he's gone, I'm nothing. I will never be anything.

I slowly lower my hands, looking at them like creatures. They're all blurry, tears smudging them away.

I'm a murderer. I killed Akito Shinonome using my useless and self-absorbed personality.

I am the definition of nothing.

Akito was my everything.

Is my everything.

He's gone now, and it's all my fault.

///////////////

3197 WORDS HOLY FUCK

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT I WANT OPINIONS

okay so, this is the last chapter of this current time in fic time

i will probably be making one more of a time skip in the future, probably a year ahead so i'll start writing that now to get it complete asap

i'll finish it off with a good writers note next chap, my official last one <3

here's the good ending you all wanted!! 💗💗

i'm shakinf