31~ Naked

Not long after I came home from my date, I came home to what had to be the most disturbing, crazy, dumbest things I've ever seen. Let me re-cap to this morning...

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It was early Monday morning. I was dreading going to school, given that I was still trying to get over the fact that I had started a relationship with a kid whom I've been calling Horrid Hairgel, Twink, Lurch, and many other horrid names for a year and a half now.

I pulled myself out of bed, going into the bathroom to wash up for school. I put on make up, combed my hair, and was about to brush my teeth, except the toothpaste tube that I usually use was empty. I had a hunch that Kurt had to be the culprit, since Rachel didn't like my choice of toothpaste; honestly, I don't have the effort to explain why.

"Kurt!" I walked into the kitchen, waiting to find Kurt at the table, eating his cornflakes as per usual every Monday morning.

"Kurt, when I'm gone for a week, that doesn't give you props to use my toothpaste. I don't care that it tastes better than yours and you can't wait for yours to run out. Don't use my toothpaste because it rubs against your toothbrush and I don't know what sort of crap that brush has been shucking out of your teeth and... woah!" I had to stop short when I saw something I never thought I would never, ever see.

Brody Whatever-the-hell-his-last-name-is... bare-ass naked.

"Good morning," Rachel strutted right past me, not acknowledging my frozen stance, and gave her boyfriend a kiss as he poured himself cereal.

"Good morning is totally wrong." I gasped. I wasn't the only one in stunned, Kurt looked about ready to throw his spoon at her. And Rachel definitely noticed.

"What?" she asked him.

"Your boyfriend's bare ass is on one of my vintage flee market chairs." Kurt told her.

"Hey, I'm not ashamed of my body." Brody said, "And I want to show Rachel that I support her choice completely." that put up a red flag for me.

"What choice?" I asked tentatively.

"I was cast in a student art film and I'm gonna be doing a topless scene in it," what?

"No, you're not!" Kurt gasped.

"Yeah -- no! You are definetely not!" I exclaimed as I ran over to the table.

"Rachel looks smokin'." Brody said.

"Rachel is a serious actress Brody, she doesn't do nudity." Kurt said.

"Agreed! I'm gone for a week! How could you've lost your mind in a flippin' week!?" I asked her.

"Look, as performers, there's a question that we're all going to have to face." Brody said.

"No, no, no, that's what you can face eight-pack. I'm not letting my bestfriend do a nude scene!" I told him.

"I'm serious, if you wanna win an Oscar, you're gonna have to show your boobs. Kate Winslet, Jennifer Connely, Kathy Bates." he replied.

"Listen up dumb-bell, if I'm gonna win an Oscar, it's gonna be best costume designer five years running, not for showing my girls to the old white men who vote for they choice best actress purely on teeny tiny bodies and almond shaped eyes!" I snapped.

"Reese, calm down." Rachel told me.

"You-you're telling me to calm down? Are you kidding? Rachel, you're boyfriend is basically telling you to be a TV screen hooker! You wanna fling off your top and flash to the world your body? You're nineteen for God sakes!" I told her.

"It's not a big deal. It's not even that long of a scene anyway. You guys are over-exaggerating." she said. Over-exaggerating?

"I do not over exaggerate -- well yeah, I do over-exaggerate... a lot. But I'm not over-exaggerating about this!" I told her.

"What happens when that film comes out and people start recognizing you?" Kurt asked, "They only see you for the girl who ripped off her top and don't acknowledge you for your true talent? And when you go out, who knows what people would do! It'd be Paris Hilton in Van Nuys all over again!" I don't know what he was talking about, but I had to agree.

"Can you imagine fifth avenue? Brooklyn? Forget about the burrows, what about the subways? Where all of humanity's filth goes to cower and multiply like some kind of bad rash!" I exclaimed.

"What are you talking about?" Rachel asked me.

"I'm talking about the faces on the subways? You know the faces I see, coming to and from school everyday? While you're too busy yacking to me about some new performance at school? You want to see the faces I see?" here we go, "Okay, let's take a trip to the subway. I'll show you some faces when you look all around you!"

I jumped in front of Brody, "Okay, let's start over here! Here's a pimple face sucking on a cold pizza!" I glared at him, "And he's burping sausage gas!" I then jumped to Kurt, "Here's another face over here: laughing to beat the band and talking a mile a minute; to itself!" I then jumped to Kurt's picture of Ray Liotta in Goodfellas, "There's another face over here: drizzling and drooling and getting ready to throw up on your shoes!" I turned back to Rachel, "And the faces that ain't doing nothing disgusting, they look like they're planning to murder you!"

"Why did I have to be the laughing whacko on the train?" Kurt asked.

"That's not my point! My point is that if the wrong people -- and I mean the scum of the Earth -- see that film, those are faces you're going to get, or worse!" I exclaimed.

"It's really not a big deal!" Rachel stated.

"Wow, a year ago you were all plaid skirts and 'Do you think Finn likes me?', and now you're slutty Barbie." Kurt said, "Asking Misogynist Ken to move in with you, doing pornos. What's happening to you?"

"Yeah! What the hell?" I asked.

"I'm growing up. Maybe you guys should try it too. And it's not a porno, it's a good movie, and I'm gonna do it. With or without your support." she then grabbed her coat, gave a final nod, and left for school.

I looked down at Brody, just about ready to strangle him with my bare hands. He looked up at me, noticing my death glare and started to look uncomfortable.

"What-what're you doing?" he asked.

"Counting to ten; just so you know, I'm at seven, and it's not working!" I growled.

"You guys are over-reacting. I'm sure if you were an actress, Reese, you'd understand." he said. That just made me want to kill him even more. How dare he talk down to me whilst I glare down at him!

"You know what you are? You're an enablizer!" then I turned on my heal and stormed back into my room angrily.

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I couldn't believe I was doing this, but this guy was probably the only guy that could help. I waited six second exactly before Sebastian picked up my Skype call.

"Evening Lavek, coming back for more?" he asked with a smirk.

"Oh jeez," I knew this was a bad idea, "Can't you drop the sex jokes until I've had my first cup of coffee? My brain isn't running hard enough to be able to slap you through the computer screen," I told him.

"Sorry, what's going on?" he asked.

Here goes...

"Jeez, this is so weird,=. I need your help with something. It's kind of strange and don't be thinking dirty when I ask it." I replied.

"What's wrong, Betsey?" he asked. Huh, Betsey... I could get used to that.

"You'll never believe what my best friend is taking part in." I said.

"Based on that expression on your face, it's something you hate more then artificial grape flavouring." he said matter-of-factly. Truly a man after my own heart.

"You noticed. Did you ever have a friend wanna do something that they might regret for the rest of their life?" I asked him.

"... No. What's Young Streisand up to?" he asked.

"Oh jeez," this was weird, like seriously cringing at the sound of nails-on-chalkboard weird, "Have you ever watched Shakespeare in Love? Or-or Alexander?" this was so weird.

"Vaguely remember those. The first was for a school assignment, the other... me and a buddy ordered off paperview." he replied, taking a sip from what looked like orange juice.

"Of course you did. Okay, I'll just come right out with it: Rachel wants to do a topless scene." I said. Sebastian choked, than spat out his juice.

"Awh, what!? Are you kidding?" he asked.

"Not kidding, McCarthy. I figured since you are... how do I put this without offending you?" I asked myself.

"Perverted?" he suggested.

"I would've originally gone with always on overdrive. But sure, we'll go with that. What do I do?" I asked him.

"You actually think I'd know what to do here?" he asked.

"I don't know, you were just the first person that came to mind. I don't know why but... I just feel like you could help in your own... strange way. That's as nice as I'll put that." I replied.

"How about an intervention?" he suggested.

"Kurt and I already tried that, but she's got Brody telling her 'go strip for the camera! I don't mind sharing!' PZZT!" I'm starting to have a headache.

"Alright, calm down. Rachel needs to hear it from other girls, maybe someone who's showed her body to the public already." he said.

"Okay great, you got Kim Kardashian's contact info?" I asked with a grin.

"You're cute. But seriously, there's gotta be someone who could relate." he replied. I had an idea.

"Why yes, yes there is. God, you are brilliant!" I told him.

"It's what I-" I shut the call before he could finish. I know that was rude, but I had some phone calls to make.

Sebastian's POV

"...do. Wow, she's lucky she's cute."