Swim lessons *mini chapter*

Caesar

Why did I agree to this? I know swimming is a good skill to have but, I don't know how I feel about being made a fool in pool, flapping my arms around like a panicked child. Hell, a child would swim much better then me.

But!...

Yeah, there's nothing else.

Maybe spending time with Samantha? Not that we don't that anyway.

Let's see. Let's see.

I guess besides spending time with Samantha, I'll be stuck in a swimsuit, feeling uncomfortable with all my scars being seen. Luckily it's just Samantha seeing me and not the entire mansion - maybe not entirely comfortable.

I just wish I could forget about that horrible woman and what she did to me, but her writing is all over my body. It makes me feel horrible in my own skin. It's like my own body isn't mine anymore. Like I have to share it with someone.

But to have someone like Samantha?

Someone who cares and loves me, helps me and my self esteem a lot. I'm slowly coming back to my old self.

I look at myself in the mirror. The bikini I've picked out covers up quite a bit, but I still feel uncomfortable with my scar covered stomach and back fully exposed. So I put on a plain light purple t-shirt.

I sigh with relief flattening out the shirt.

"Better."

I walk out of the loft house to Samantha who is sitting criss-cross, waiting for me. She's wearing casual clothes and tapping her own phone, most likely texting Ashley about the boy she's into.

I swallow the fear that's brewing inside my throat. Is it because I feel exposed or is it because I'm going to be thrown into a pool of water? It could be both, but I don't know.

Samantha slips her phone into her pocket and holds out her hand. "Ready?"

I nod my head and walk onto her hand. "I'm ready as I'll ever be."

Samantha stands up and curls her finger into a cup and takes me to the bathroom. I except the tub to be filled, but instead, it's the sink that's hardly filled. The water looks like it barely comes up to my knees.

Rather than letting me down on the sink, Samantha puts me right in the water. The water reaches to my mid thigh. It's warm too and I'll thankful for that.

"Not to be a captain obvious here, but the water isn't high enough." I say kicking the water.

"I wanted to start you off on the shallow side," Samantha answer reaching for the faucet handle and turning it. "I wasn't really sure if you'd freak about high it was."

That's fair.

I watch as water continues to fill the sink. When gets it half way up my waist, I panic, fearing that Samantha would fill the water past my head.

I raise my arms up. "Sam?!"

"Calm down," She says, shutting off the water, leaving the waterline just below my shoulders. "I needed the water to be a little higher so you could learn properly."

I'm stiff as a board, afraid that if I move even an inch, I'll fall off the deep end and drown. That's not possible though and Samantha's hovering right above me so she wouldn't let anything happen either.

"Okay, welcome to swimming 1-0-1! You ready for you're first lesson, Caesar?"

I frown, looking up at my giant girlfriend with narrowed eyes. "Don't do that."

Samantha's more chippy attitude deflates. "Sorry... the first thing you're going to want to do is try and float." She leans down slightly and sticks her hand the water close to me. "I'll be right here to help. Now, try to lay back and let your knees bend so your feet float up."

That sounds easy enough. I tell myself.

Samantha's hand lays against my back and I'm eased into the water, my hair getting wet now. My feet though don't float up.

"It's normal for some people to not be as bouyant as others." Samantha explains.

I figured.

That next thing we move onto is doggy paddling, which feels humilating to do, but it's simpler.

She tells me about the forward stroke and the back stroke. She also told me how to tread water which is probably the most important thing I've learned.

Samantha smiles with pride and scoops me up, but leaves her hand dipped in the water. "Now, the harder part." She turns on the sink and fills it up more. "Swimming under water."

Oh... great.

I'd love to say that we are moving too fast, but honestly, we aren't. Samantha is too aware to pressure me into doing things I don't want/like to do. She knows that pushing me isn't going to get me do anything.

"I'll right here the whole time," she says, reassuring me.

"Yeah... right here... the whole time..."

I look at the water out in front of me as Samantha explains how to swim underwater. I space for a moment while watching the water ripple. It looks much deeper since my mind is playing tricks on me.

I'm broken out of my stooper when Samantha says. "Most importantly, don't panic, okay?"

I nod slowly. "Right... don't panic."

I slide myself to the edge of Samantha's fingers, mentally preparing myself to slip under the water. Look out to at the water and taking a deep breath, I slip under the calm rippling water.

The warmth of the water is calming to my jittery nerves. I have to keep my eyes closed though. Don't think seeing would change much  anyway.

I try to flatten myself out, similar to a forward stroke, and using my arms and legs to kick myself forward. Instead, of swimming back to the top, my feet touch the floor of the sink.

I push off from the bottom and use my arms and legs to propel myself upward. My hands break the surface but I sink back down.

Panic, the one thing Samantha told me not to do, sinks in. I push myself up again and flail my arms and legs in hopes of reaching for air. I smack into Samantha's hand instead.

Fingers wrap themselves around me and I'm pulling from the water quickly. The surface water breaks and I let out a gasp for air.

"It's okays I'm right here." Samantha says as she wraps a hand towel around my body.

I take a deep breath to settle myself down. Warm fingers rub and down my back, comforting me.

"For your first swim lesson, you didn't do too bad." Samantha says.

She rests her arm on the side of the sink and lays her head on it. There's a soft look on her face. I look back at her the same way. It's moments like this where we just are in each other's presence and enjoying that.

Samantha stands up, scoops me up, and brings me close to her face. A kiss is planted on my forehead.

"Let's try again another time, okay?"

I nod slowly and curl myself up in the towel. The radiating warmth from Samantha's hands is nice.

I wasn't planning to ace all the swim lessons in one go, but I did better than expected if I'm being honest.  There's always tomorrow to improve.