22

"Ann was the one originally interested in Leo," Fiat begins. His mother looks confused while his father keeps his interested, yet listening façade. "Everyone in the school had some interest in him-"

"Except you," Ann interjected with a snort. Fiat glares at her and she chuckles. She leans towards forward while looking at his parents. "This son of yours only had his eyes on his books. If I had not forced myself into his life, who knows if he would have friends or know who is in his class."

"Pip!" Fiat warns.

"She's not wrong. You hadn't noticed I was in more than half your classes last year until I brought you your stuff from the library," Leo adds. With a pouty glare from his boyfriend, Leo quietly apologizes and stays quiet.

"You use to always know all the people around you," Fiat's mother points out with sadness in her voice. Fiat looks down at his plate and stabs at his skewered meat.

"Well, there really is no reason to when I only would ever go out with Ann," he shrugs. "Besides the point, Ann made me go to the department retreat and I really got to know Leo there because Ann believed there was no other way to get close to him unless I did. Then from there, Leo and I really did become friends and then it just went on from there."

Leo and Fiat exchange fond smiles. What Fiat said is a form of the truth and it is the start of their story. The lunch proceeds with Ann leading the conversation as the outgoing one and Fiat is relieved to see that his mother has taken a liking to her. He looks over to his father as he has remained quiet.

"Khun Phor, Fiat mentioned that you enjoy listening to music. Do you play any?" Leo tries as they sit for a moment to digest. The elder man glances over at Fiat before looking at the young man asking him the question.

"Just during my days off. I prefer to listen to it to fill the quiet home. I play a little piano," His father responds. Fiat takes note that his father has never denied that he is his son or corrected Leo when he refers to him as so.

"Hardly a little, Phor. He is amazing. He can shadow anything. When I was little I use to always crawl onto the piano bench or pull a stool over and watch his fingers dance across the ivory keys. It was nice to fall asleep to or be woken up by," Fiat smiles recalling his small self doing so. He glances over at his father and sees a flash of longing. "It was nice to hear again after all these years."

"Did you ever learn?" Ann asks Fiat. With a blush, Fiat rubs the back of his neck.

"I was the one who only played a little bit. I've gotten really rusty. I tried playing earlier," Fiat shrugs. Leo pats his leg under the table with a grin.

"I'd love to hear you both play one day," Leo hopes. Fiat glances over at his father who is also looking back at him.

"Do you still remember the Canon I first taught you?" his father surprises all of them by asking. Fiat nods. He may have forgotten a lot, but that piece is one he will never forget. "Let's get things cleaned up and head to the piano room then."

"Oh, it's been so long since I've heard the two of you playing together," Fiat's mother gathers her hands together. "Let's hurry and clean up! Will you three help me bring the dishes to the kitchen?"

"We'll clean up since you have so kindly prepared this. Thank you for the meal and inviting us." Immediately the three make their moves and take all of the dishes into the house. Fiat glances back towards the back door and finds that it was only the three of them who went in. He practically collapses onto the counter and the two comfort him. "Love, are you okay?"

"I can't believe this is happening," Fiat leans against his lover in order to recharge. Ann reaches out a hand and gives his shoulder a squeeze. "Thank you again for coming and being so great with them."

"Fiat, we are here for you always," Ann reminds him and he nods. "Your parents seem like they still love you and are trying. I don't know exactly what triggered, but even your dad has given you longing glances when you aren't looking."

"What?" Fiat stands up straight with confusion. Whenever he looked over, his father's face was always hard or nonchalant.

"Love, maybe if you can, you should stay when we leave. Have a good talk with them. I think this removed the knot that had kept you guys from understanding each other. I'll be on call for you, but I hope you'll push a little bit more,"Leo threads his fingers through Fiat's hair soothingly. Fiat slowly nods his head, knowing that Leo has a point.

"Come on, let's get this stuff put away. Your parents might be waiting," Ann smiles and the three begin to do what they intended to do. Making sure they leave the kitchen clean, Fiat leads them further into the home, following the sound of the piano. Unconsciously a smile forms on his face and his body relaxes. He walks in to find his mother leaning against the body of the piano humming along with what his father is playing. The three young people settle onto the couch. When the piece finishes the they give a small applause. "Khun Phor, Khun Mae, that was beautiful."

"Oh, sweetheart, all I did was hum. Fiat, come. It's your turn," his mother waves him over and he moves, mindful of his father. "Hun, slide over to give him room."

With tentative steps, Fiat suddenly becomes his younger self as he sits beside his father. "We're on the four count. Do you want the pedal?"

"Can you, Phor?" Fiat's voice is small and his father nods. Their hands hover over the keys and Fiat watches his father nod before the room fills with their musical sounds. Swaying with each crescendo, the pair moves beautifully at the piano. They hold the last note before releasing their fingers together. An applause replaces the music and Fiat looks over at his father and smiles. His father looks back at him and Fiat swears he sees tears in his eyes. When he is about to say something, his father wipes his eyes and stands.

"Alright, I think that's enough. I need a nap," his father walks out of the room without waiting for a response and Fiat just watches him walk away. He feels a hand on his shoulder and he looks up to find his mother smiling down at him.

"Your father has gotten a lot more sentimental as he grows older. You are all welcome to stay, walk around the neighborhood maybe? I'll just check on him," His mother looks at him and his friends with a kind smile. Fiat pats the hand on his shoulder and nods. She walks out of the room and Fiat takes a deep breath as he looks at his best friend and boyfriend.

"That was beautiful, Fiat," Ann compliments. Fiat rubs the back of his neck bashfully. "Leo actually got a video of it."

"You did?" Fiat's eyes brighten. Leo nods and makes his way over, replacing the spot that his father once sat. He passes his phone over and Fiat watches it. His eyes water as he stares at his father. It has only been a few years, but it is the first time Fiat is noticing the aging on his father's face. "How has he aged so much?"

"He probably thinks the same of you, love." Fiat looks up at Leo and Ann who has joined him at the other side.

"So, are we going to have a peak into younger Fiat?" Ann questions. The three exchange looks and agree to step out into town. "You have to show us the best places you use to go to."

"You met a much better version, but let's go, if you guys want. You guys don't have to stay either. They won't mind," Fiat stands as he hands back the phone to Leo. The other two are not about to miss their chance to get to know him more, and urged him to get up and show them his childhood bedroom. "I don't even know if they kept it. It's my first time stepping into this home since I moved out."

The three of them exit the piano room and Fiat leads them to where his old bedroom was. Their movements are quiet as they do not want to disturb the elders, but the creaking of the door could not be helped. Fiat pushes the door open and is stunned by the doorway as the other two enter with curiosity. It is exactly the way he left it. There were a lot of things he took with him, so it is much more bare than it was when he was sleeping here, but the items of his past remained, polished and dusted even.

"It seems this room had a visitor often enough, unless they only cleaned it recently," Leo points out and Fiat barely hears him. "Love? You okay?"

Fiat's eyes tear away from the wall filled with his awards and trophies to his lover and best friend who look at him with concern. "Sorry. Yeah, it seems so. I just can't believe they left these all up, let alone step into this room."

"When you guys get the chance the talk, you'll have the answers," Ann grins as she picks up one of the frames "Woah, you were a tiny boy growing up."

"Reason why I was put into badminton. My mom was worried that I would not grow up to be healthy," Fiat mumbles as he finally moves from his spot and walks over to get a closer look. Leo joins them and they listen to Fiat's stories behind each item. "This was my last official competitive tournament. I was on my way to be pro, but things didn't go as planned. I'm not mad about it though. I think I would be unhappy."

"We wouldn't have been able to meet if you did," Leo wraps his arms around Fiat from behind and a bashful smile rises on his face. "We wouldn't be club competitors and won the doubles together."

"You're so simple minded," Ann stares at him blankly. Her statement made everyone baffled to silence before the three bursts into laughter. They move onto other small things like school projects or unfinished ideas stacked around. It is as if his messy younger self is still living there. Eventually, when they run out of things to talk about in the room, Fiat leaves a small note on the fridge to let them know they had stepped out.

"This was where I had my first unofficial job. I always like reading and this comic store accommodated me and my friends at the time. I'd be the last one to leave, so I helped with the bookkeeping at times. They'd give me a free rental or a free snack for it," Fiat says as they stand across the street from a small storefront. He is sure they would want to step inside and get a closer look, but to be honest, Fiat is afraid. He is afraid of meeting familiar faces. "Do you want to go inside? I don't know if it's the same inside or with the same owner."

"We don't have to, love. Comic stores are almost all the same," Leo answers and it makes Fiat release a sigh of relief. He nods his head and they walk further down to a drink shop that he would frequent after school. This time around, he could not avoid walking in as Ann mentioned that she is parched.

The cool air condition kisses their skin and the bright interior welcomes them. The years away is not long enough for the need to redecorate, but the menu matches the trends as new and interesting flavors are on the board above. "Fiat? Oh my gosh. It's you, isn't it! Your finally showing your face back in town? Have you moved back?"

Three bodies stiffen as they find the girl behind the counter looking directly at Fiat. He forces a smile as he walks closer to the counter. "Hey, Thuy. Just passing by with some friends."

"Friends!" she glances at the two people beside him with a smile. "Welcome, friends of Fiat. We use to go to school together, if you're wondering. Fiat must be just as popular as he was then, huh? Talk of the town, this one. How did you guys come across him?"

"Hey, Bestie, I don't like what's here," Ann turns to him, completely ignoring Thuy. Fiat raises a brow at the sudden nickname. Ann embraces one of his arms and smiles brightly. "I highly doubt they would taste good. They always say, the creation is only as good as it's maker."

"Alright, bye, Thuy!" Fiat drags Ann out of the place as she cackles with a snickering Leo following after them. "You're the worst, Pipsqueak! That was just rude!"

"Well, she is no better! She a conniving bi-"

"ANN!" Fiat cuts her off and continues to pull her away from the building. When he deems that they are far enough, he lets out a deep breath. "Let's be real. These are the kinds of things we will come by if we bump into people. This town isn't that big to start with. So, please, no more of that."

"Don't you want to stand up to them, love?" Leo questions. Fiat glances around and runs a hand through his hair.

"Honestly?" He looks back at them and sighs. "I only care about what my parents think. They are the only thing I want to hold onto from here and from my past. I could care less of what Thuy or Wan or any of the others have to say. Sure it hurts and it brings back the traumatic memory, but I just want to interact with people who I know can return the same energy, love and compassion that I give. Like you guys. Fern and P'Chan even."

"Aww," Ann coos and completely embraces the man. He gives an airy chuckle as Leo joins in. "Okay, no more sassy Ann. But if there is someone being extra nasty, no promises. I may not be a mom, but I got those protective instincts of a momma bear."

"It's always the small ones that are feisty," Leo shakes his head. Fiat throws his head back in laughter as Ann scowls and they bicker for a moment before Fiat finally puts a stop to it.

"Okay, okay. There's another place we can get a drink from. This one is less likely to have a problem," Fiat links his arms with them and the trip happily walks down the road. Ann makes sure they take a few photos to record the memory. They approach a new spot and successfully purchase some refreshing drinks. For a moment Fiat forgets as he laughs with them and somehow guides them towards his high school. When he finally takes a closer look at his surroundings, his smile begins to falter. A bitter smile replaces it and the memories of his past hit him.

He can see himself laughing with his group of friends. He can see his younger self excitedly talking about the weekend plans that they were having.

Then he can see himself cowering into himself as hateful words are thrown his way. His appearance is disheveled and inferior to the distant crowd that does not go near him, but still follows him. Ridiculing him.

"Hey." The image suddenly fades and he blinks to find both Leo and Ann looking at him worriedly. He glances back at the other side of the road and find it empty. A hand rubs his arm and he gives a poor excuse of a smile towards Ann. "Should we head back?"

"Are you guys tired?" Fiat asks, worried as they had been walking for a while. It seems as though his body recalls all the walking and hardly thought of it all.

"Love, you don't have to worry about us. We're asking you," Leo shakes his head and ruffles Fiat's hair. Fiat glances between the two and Ann nods her head in agreement.

"You said you wanted to get to know me more. I always shared without really sharing. Since we are already here, I might as well go all out right? Maybe being with you guys I'll have the strength to really approach the past I always hoped to stow away," Fiat takes a deep breath as he decides to go all out this trip home. "You guys will stay with me right?"

"All the way, babe," Ann winks

"Even further than the end, love," Leo grins. They wrap their arms around Fiat and he guides them closer to his school. The school grounds were nearly empty as the day nears its end. The building has a golden hue from the setting sun. There is no denying that it had its own beauty to it. Fiat softly points out areas that he would hang around, the classrooms he frequented and the classes he enjoyed. He has a sad tone to his voice as he talks about memorable moments of his past. They pass a bench and he stops in front of it. A small plaque is attached to it.

In memory of

Nannon Thuyansumai

A loving Son, Friend and Student

May he continue to smile bright from above and forget the pain that is left here on Earth

Fiat barely notices the concerned hands that reach for him. He gulps as he reads it. He gets chills and his hands fist, leaving small crescents to be indebted into his palm. This was not made right away, so this is the first time Fiat is seeing this. His heart clenches as tears fill his eyes. No one believed him when he said that it was an accident. That he was protecting himself. There were no signs of restraints on him. There were no signs of him being in danger. The truth is between him and the dead. The principal and all of his friends did not believe him, so he stopped trying. He let them say what they wanted to say. He did not even try to clarify with his parents. They wouldn't let him even if he tried. He wasn't able to talk. He felt that he could not be heard. That his words had no power. "I never apologized or gave my condolences to his parents. They were so kind to me."

"Is that something you want to do?" Ann questions. Fiat looks up at the darkening sky and sighs. How do you apologize for something like that? How do you look at a parent and tell them that you protected yourself from their son and ended up being the reason for their death? "Fiat, what happened was unfortunate, but you are a victim too. You deserve closure also."

"But how?" Fiat whispers as he shakily traces the letters of the name.

"Fiat? Is that you?" Fiat's head snapped at the voice. Unconsciously, he takes a step back while Ann and Leo step closer to him. An older woman that has greying hair approaches him with a similar older man. "Oh, it is you!"

Fiat's hands tighten and he feels two hands encase his own. It takes a while before they relax, only to grip firmly to theirs as the elder couple approaches them. The woman glances over at the bench and sighs with a sad smile. His heart aches as the man lays a bouquet of flowers and a container of dessert. The three politely greet them as they take another step back to give them room.

Fiat shakes as they look over at him. He tries to prepare for their words and attack on him. He waits for it, but it never comes. "How have you been, Fiat? Are you doing okay in school? Are these your friends?"

Seeing the boy stay silent, the two introduce themselves as his friends and classmate. The older couple accepts their greeting. "It's nice to know Fiat has found friends in the city. We were worried he was going to be lost. We were shocked to hear that your parents had kicked you out of your home. Have you made amends?"

"Working on it..." Fiat barely makes a sound. He is confused.

"Oh, honey, isn't today Fiat's birthday? If I had known you would be home, I would have prepared your favorite Bulan Dan Mek. Will you be staying tonight? I would love-

"There is no need. I don't really celebrate my birthday anymore. Uhm. I'm sorry, I'll let you do as you planned. This is a lovely bench," Fiat spits out and prepares to leave when Nannon's mother reaches out to him.

"Will you explain to us what happened?" Fiat shuts his eyes as he hears her voice breaking. "Don't you think we deserve to hear it from you?"

"Haven't you heard it already from everyone else? I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be here," Fiat keeps his head down, unable to meet there eyes. Tears already escape his eyes as they run down his cheeks.

"We know what they say. We've even heard Wan and Jay say it, but we need to hear it from you. As much as it hurts, we know you are a sweet boy. We are unable to accept the rumors unless you say it is true. Nannon said you were a rightful person. A good influence, so why? Only you hold the truth now. Fiat, don't you think we deserve to know how our boy left?" Tears fall down on everyone's faces and Fiat finally raises his head to meet their eyes.

"It was an accident.."

*******

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

thoughts??

There so many things that happened and there's so much more I wanted to include in one, but again, I cannot.

There are moments when you return to a place or moment of your past and you find yourself feeling as though you really went back in time. Especially when you go back home after being away for so long. There are a lot of things to patch up for Fiat, but it is clear that the only real acceptance he needs are from the people who are important to him.

It took me a long time to write this one for some reason. It was easy to start, but to flow from moment to moment became hard. Hopefully it is okay for you to read through.

Much love to everyone out there. Don't forget to rest and recharge when you need to. It's okay to be a little selfish.

xxdctuan

——  questions & a little bit about me  ——

Where would you go if you needed a quick getaway and traveling was not a problem?

Mountains or Beach? City or rural?

I have a hard time deciding.

Nature is something I love, but the convenience of the city is comforting.

I love being surrounded by trees and the smell of the misty mornings, but I also love being in or by the water.

I don't know how to swim, but I've snorkeled in the middle of the ocean with the help of a life vest.

I'm afraid of heights, but the thrill of zip lining over the heights of forest trees is exhilarating.

I love being at a place of comfort but doing things to overcome my fears is something I find fun. It's weird, but I only hope to be able to keep doing this as I get older. I'd like to believe that I'm a walking contradiction, but others would say I'm just being indecisive. What do you think?

—— ADDED ON POSTING DAY! ——

Before the last update I was having a writer's block and I wasn't sure how to transition and continue the story. I took the break, but had this chapter finished way before my usual 5 day mark. I wanted to post, but I need to learn my limits. I said more than a week and I waited, so here is a day after said week. haha~

The questions above and the bit about myself, I typed it out while I was on a little getaway to a beach town. There was no real plan being there and it was only for a few days. It was nice to enjoy the fresh air and listen to the waves.

Anyway, I know I said this before, but this story will really be reaching its end. I think next chapter will be the end, but it will be a bit longer than usual. I may make an epilogue, but I'll see if it's necessary after I finish next chapter.

BUT, something has been brewing while I've been taking a break. Might post about it soon, might not, who knows....