25 - A Final word

The fire was warm but the room felt cold. Maybe it was just me, but everyone seemed broken by the news of Bjarke. I was still angry, but I needed to stay strong for Freke and Noora. They were both devastated by the news of his disappearance and acted like he was going to show up in the shadows of our bedroom like a ghost, and curse us all to death.

As soon as I came back from Bjarke's hut I had ordered Liv to stay with Noora while I spent my nights with Freke. The wolf lay curled up by my side and cried most of the time, but refused to speak to me about their fears. And I felt helpless. I had no idea how to make them feel better. It pained me to see my lover like this. Freke had always been so strong and now they were a shadow of themself.

Five nights and days had passed since I had left Vidar and his pack in the woods and walked home alone, and I could not wait for him to come back. I wanted the reassurance of Bjarke's death, but most of all I wanted his help to ease Freke's pain. I knew it was all in their mind. There were no physical injuries, and yet again I wondered what the niðingr had done to them. I wanted to ask Freke, but I feared it was too soon. Still, it hurt my ego that they let Vidar help them and not I.

"I need to speak with you," I told the wolf, and reached out a hand towards them. Freke peered up at me where they sat close to the fire and ate the dinner the slaves had prepared for us. "Walk with me?"

They nodded and stood on their feet to take my hand. We hadn't had a proper chance to talk about the village and my duties since I came back. I knew I had been distancing myself from everyone, but only because I felt confused and I needed to sort my feelings before speaking to anyone.

I guided Freke outside casually, ignoring Noora's angry eyes. "She dislikes me," Freke whispered and I instantly shook my head, the sentence made me feel even more desperate.

"You saved her child. She should praise you to the gods every minute of her day," I muttered, annoyed. "She knew what kind of marriage she stepped into right from the start." I continued and led them down to the shore.

"Ari is alive, her perspective has changed. She wants you now, all to herself."

I chuckled and felt my heart rate rise at those words. How unfair was the weave of the Norns if they made two women fall in love with me while I craved the attention of Freke and Vidar. "I need to speak to her about that," I stopped them as our feet reached the weathered stone-filled beach, "but I wanted to tell you first."

I could see the worry in their eyes and a glimmer of distress, "I can't face Bjarke's magic. I can't stay here," Freke instantly pleaded and threw himself in my arms. "I don't feel well, Tyr."

"I know," I mumbled into his thick hair as I held him tight. "I know you have to go with Vidar, and I'm thinking about joining you."

At those words he peered up at me with a confused expression, "but who will look after the village?"

"You are more important," I told them and placed my hands on their shoulders to hold them steady and look them in their eyes.

"No, no I'm not. Tyr, the village needs you," they insisted and something in the wolf's demeanour made me weary.

I shook my head to that and leaned forward to rest my forehead against theirs. "Freke, min skatt, I need you. There's so many changes going on around us and you are the stability that I crave."

"Are you planning on more changes?" they asked and peered curiously at me.

"Skal is not safe."

"And?" Freke asked, knowing there was more to it, reading my body-language with ease.

I bit my lower lip and averted my eyes, unsure of how they would react to my news. These last few days I had reflected over the kiss and my feelings towards Vidar. I wasn't sure if it was more than just pure admiration for the man, or if it was something more. The one thing I knew was that I had never felt like that in someone else's presence, and a piece of me missed him and longed for his return.

"And, I spoke to Vidar about merging my clan with your pack."

Freke took a step back and looked puzzled at me. "You can't be serious. You actually discussed that? Why?"

"Because we both want to be around you," I told them, with hopes that they would calm down.

"So you will leave Skal after everything you have done for the village, for me?" Freke questioned with less enthusiasm than I had hoped for. "I am not worth it!"

"I can't believe you!" I snapped with frustration dripping from every word. "Why is it so hard for you to understand that everything I do is for you and me?"

"And what about Noora and Ari? Are you going to force them to move with us too, like some tyrant?!"

I stared at the wolf in front of me, the person I had known since I was a young child. A person who had always been there for me, and that I had always prioritised. Always. Why was this so hard for them to deal with? "Freke, please talk to me," I pleaded, and took a step forward and extended a hand towards them.

"Our lives have changed so much," they whispered, allowing me to move in close and eventually wrap my arms around them. "It all happened so fast."

"I know, that's why we need to talk." I paused and kissed their forehead. "There's another reason why I want to go with the two of you," I whispered close to their ear.

"You want to be closer to your parents?" they asked, but I shook my head, filled my lungs with sea air and looked down at the gravel underneath my feet.

"I kissed Vidar," I said in a hushed tone without meeting the amber eyes of my lover.

I could see in the periphery how they tilted their head slightly to the side to get a glimpse of my face. "Why?"

"Because I wanted to," I confessed, "because I feel things when I'm around him."

Freke's hands moved to touch my face, trailing up along my jaw, combing my beard with their claws, and finally I dared to look into their eyes. "I thought you both despised each other," they chuckled as a wide grin spread on their face.

"I did," I said honestly, "because I thought that I had to compete with him, but now I know we can work towards the same goal."

"And what is that?" Freke asked with a mischievous grin on their lips.

"To make you happy," I chuckled and leaned down to give their lips a quick peck.

Freke kept staring at me. "Did he kiss you back?" they asked curiously. I could feel my cheeks heating up as I mumbled a yes, but was interrupted by Freke's heartwarming laugh. A sound I had truly missed. "You have a crush on him, don't you?" my lover teased, and stepped forward to place their arms around my neck.

"I don't know," I sighed and buried my face in his fur coat. "I really don't know what I feel, I'm so confused. But I just know that the three of us have a connection," I said with a more confident tone. "Maybe it's the Great Wolf's wishes, or the Norns' decision or the will of the gods, but we are connected somehow and in my heart I feel the need to be close to you both."

I could feel Freke's body relax into mine, a sense of calm was spreading around us and I realised how much energy they must have spent on worrying about their two lovers' relationship with each other. I was astounded, my news had actually calmed them?

"Let's wait for Vidar to return," Freke said and pulled me even closer. "Then we can decide what to do."

Their lips were so soft and warm when they pressed them on mine, and I realised how long it had been since I actually kissed them. I met the kiss eagerly, parted my lips and held their body even closer, whispering a soft "I love you" as we stopped to catch our breaths.

"I love you too," Freke said, showing signs of their old self. And suddenly I felt the need to never let them out of my sight.

"There's no need to wait for Vidar," I whispered in their ear, "I am leaving with you, and that's my final word on the matter."

Freke chuckled in my arms. "Who am I to question the ruler of Skal? If that is the Jarl's final word, then I will obey it," they teased and took my hand, leading me towards the forest. "Come on, I know a place where we won't be bothered."

"Are you kidnapping me?" I laughed wholeheartedly, and followed in their footsteps, letting them guide me towards the trees.

"Yes, do you mind?" they asked with a cheeky grin.

"No," I answered honestly, "if you promise we won't return to the village before nightfall."

"I promise," Freke said and winked at me, giving me a smile that made my heart stop and threw me back five years in time.

"Good," I whispered to myself and sent a prayer to the gods to stop the sun from moving and make the moment last forever.