Chapter #4

Dear Mrs. Parker.

I remember when I first met you, I remember thinking that you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. It’s about two years now, and I still feel the same… I even dare to say I feel even stronger for you after getting to know you.

You will probably never feel the same way for me, I mean you’re married and hopefully happy that way. I’ve learned to accept that now. At first it was hard, it sounds selfish but I wanted to be the one that makes you happy. The one that puts that special smile on your face and get to fall asleep in your arms every night. I felt sick to my stomach everytime I thought about it being someone else. But now I just want you to be happy, no matter if it’s with me or not.

Still I wish to one day be able to make you happy, but I know that’s just a dream. And dreams like that rarely come true…

Yours truly, Karla Lewis.

As I was walking towards Mrs. Parkers classroom I felt more confident than ever.  Our little chat in the hallway earlier had brightened my day and I felt invincible by now. Nothing could go wrong.

“Hey there Karla.” My teacher greeted me as I stepped into the room, I looked around before saying a small “hey”.

She pointed at a desk in the front and leaned against her own desk. I sat down, carefully placing my bag on the floor beside me.

“I’ve noticed that you have seemed quite…off recently, is everything okay?” She moved a bit forward to get closer to me.

“No, everything is fine.” I tried my best to give her a convincing smile, I hate conversations like this. What should I say? Should I tell her what happens as soon as I set foot in my home? Or how much I adore her?

“Karla… sweetie you know you can tell me anything. I promise you it will stay between us.” Her smile was gone and replaced with a worried expression.

“I just… I’m having some trouble in math and it’s been bothering me.” I’m a terrible liar.

Mrs. Parker didn’t reply, but I could tell she didn’t believe me. It was as if she was waiting for me to just crack and tell her what was going on. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t want to tell her. It was just such a hard thing to do. To come clean about the abused I had to live with everyday, about my feelings for her and about how I never had came over the fact that my biological parents had just given me away to the awful people I lived with now.

“I’m sorry… But  I can’t talk about it.” I whispered after a few silent minutes.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. I just can’t…” I stared down into the wooden desk in front of me, I feared that facing my teacher would bring out tears in my eyes.

Suddenly I felt a hand placed on top of mine, her soft skin felt like velvet and sent a shiver though my body.

“Well when you are ready, give me a call.” She placed a note next to my hand, her phone number neatly written on it.

I glanced up, seeing her smile at me as her hand gave mine a light squeeze.

“I care about you Karla, you’re a very special girl you know.” With those words she removed her hand and leaned back.

A very special girl…