Chapter 200: Purple Tulip (7)

“……Haha.” Christelle’s comments made me laugh. Her eyes opened wide as she looked at me.

“I mean it, your highness. Feel free to tell me, whatever it may be. Of course, I will keep it a secret as well.”

“Yes, I know.”

I simply thought it was funny. Just a few months ago, I was doing everything I could to avoid Christelle and told myself not to get involved with her multiple times. It was funny that we were sitting next to each other in some hallway chatting with each other.

Furthermore, I was clearing my throat as she requested.

Eunseo emphasized many times that conversation was important. I, too, wanted to be able to share these thoughts with someone and not just my notebook. And if that person was Christelle…it might just be my own hopes, but…… She might understand me better than anybody else in this world.

“It isn’t much, but it is quite chaotic.”

I broke the silence as if to make a confession. Her blue-gray eyes looked at me warmly as she awaited what I said next.

“There were a few rules that I set for myself after coming here. It was just rules for myself. Don’t do things like this, only do things like that… I made up my mind for some of those things.”

“I see.”

“That slowly crumbled. Of course, looking back…… I think that even I didn’t really dislike the fact that those rules broke down.”

I smiled and Christelle’s eyes curled up. She leaned her head against the wall and whispered, “I’m also happy that we got close, your highness. Also at the fact that we made many other friends and traveled to all sorts of places, experiencing weird things. Every moment has been exciting.”

I couldn’t help but smiled brightly after hearing that. As I expected, she was aware of it. She knew that I had drawn a line and kept my distance from her and the others for some reason, and that the line I had set had become almost nonexistent starting at some point.

As for that line… it was so faint now that even I couldn’t tell where it was located.

“That was fine, and I could happily accept it. However, my mind is complicated for the days to come.” I sighed as I explained. Christelle looked at me. “I…… Have to go back at some point. But the people here speak so naturally about a future with me in it. You can say that I am foolish, but I have not thought about that. I haven’t had the time to do that either……” My voice trailed off.

But saying these things out loud made my dizzy head feel as if it was becoming ordered again, and I was able to think clearly. Maybe I was consciously avoiding a future in this place. I made excuses to myself about how there was no room to think about something like that as I was too busy keeping myself from getting killed. That was why the original novel, which I barely knew anything about, felt like a rope from heaven. It became my pillar of support and acted as my compass.

To be completely honest, I was feeling something in one corner of my heart. It was possible that I may have to live here forever without being able to go back home.

“Isn’t that extremely lonely, your highness? Doesn’t it make you feel so alone?” Christelle asked at that moment. I blinked and looked at her. The main character, who was hugging her knees, was smiling toward me. “I felt the same way.”

“……”

“To be honest with you, I still feel that way. I’m having so much fun with you like this, but what if I suddenly break away? What if old Christelle’s memories return and I end up not existing here anymore? In that case…… How am I supposed to live, preparing for that moment? I can’t help but have those thoughts.”

My jaw slowly dropped. She continued to speak with a bright expression on her face. How could she make such a face while sharing such thoughts?

“At first, I thought that I lucked out. I awakened in a beautiful young body, so I could just pretend like I got a second life or something. I had no idea what was going on, but it felt as if I had hit the jackpot. That is how I felt. But it took less than two days to figure out how stupid I had been.” Christelle sharply added on before chuckling. I couldn’t laugh.

She was acting like a noble young lady who lost her memories after being sick for a long time, but she was a Korean person who lived much longer in Korea. Our foundations were different, as I was able to recognize that I was in a novel. I had knowledge I had heard about the different characters, their appearances, and personalities. I also had some ideas about the flow of the novel. I was able to maintain my mental fortitude thanks to that, but Christelle……

“Things I didn’t recognize, faces I did not know, the food and neighborhood were all foreign. While I had to adapt to it, there were lots of expectations from those around me and everybody treated me as if they knew me. That was very hard. It was like that despite being a young lady of a rich family who never had to go hungry……”

She was completely alone in this world. She was just suddenly dropped into a new place. When she woke up, she also had a superpower she was not familiar with. The water power, the Blessing of the Blue Sea.

“How did you get through that, Dame Sarnez?”

I barely managed to ask. Christelle immediately understood what I said despite the words barely escaping my throat. Her pretty lips opened without any hesitation.

“A muteppô mindset.”

I couldn’t help but scoff. That word came from Japanese, so I couldn’t let it show that I understood her, but it was hard to hold back.

Christelle then put a serious look on her face. “Let things happen as they will. I will just walk down my own path. That mindset surprisingly provided me with a lot of strength. Maybe it can help you out as well, your highness.”

“I will keep that in mind, Dame Sarnez.”

“Doing that allows you to focus on the present. You don’t need to struggle too much with difficult issues.”

“……”

The smile disappeared from my face. She looked up as she continued to speak.

“It is like I told you earlier, your highness. What if I disappear from Eva’s side in five seconds? What if I wake up tomorrow and I’m not at the Duke’s Estate? Instead of worrying about things like that…… I have chosen to live in the present to the best of my abilities. My mindset is that I will at least leave behind the traces that show I lived the best life while I was here. Maybe I may not be able to catch the bouquet at Vice Captain Élisabeth’s future wedding, maybe a different Christelle will be the one to attend it, but…… I can at least be happy today planning for that day with her right now.”

‘I can at least be happy today planning for that day with her right now.’ I repeated that sentence in my mind multiple times. Christelle quietly added on.

“If my memories were to return, I’m sure the Christelle of that time will hate the present me. I’ve done quite a lot of weird things. I tried my best to do only the things I think are acceptable, but that ended up being impossible because of my personality……”

I smiled at her. The many instances where she did something flashed through my mind. The crass lady who poured water on the inn owner, beat up a demonic beast, and secretly came to visit me when I was confined to the palace.

“You won’t even be able to lift up your spoon to eat if you consider any and all situations. Things are like this anyway, so let’s just go wild! I got upset and did those things. I’m so irresponsible, aren’t I, hehe. An adult my ass……” Christelle mumbled that last part in a quiet voice.

I quietly watched the side of her face that was so close that she should be able to feel my breath. Not only was she all alone in the QNW world, her feeling of guilt toward the real Christelle was building up inside her. The fact that her transmigration was not by choice did not change anything. The guilt was probably minimal on some days, but other days, she was bound to be feeling intense levels of guilt.

I would have been feeling the same way. If I did not know the Prince Jesse was a character in a novel, I would also be having a much more difficult time. Christelle was truly a strong person.

“……Christelle, you are such a strong person.” I spoke my thoughts out loud as well. She looked at me in shock. It was only then that I realized that I called her by her name. Not by her last name or her title, but her first name.

“That’s nice to hear.” Christelle gently commented. I pursed my lips in embarrassment.

She slowly leaned her body toward mine. Christelle got so close that she could not get any closer, and…

– Bonk

She slightly touched her forehead to mine before moving away. She then said the following.

“Ham Ga-in.”

“……Excuse me?”

My jaws dropped in disbelief. Eunseo’s voice echoed like a tsunami in my mind.

– Shaaaaaaaaaaa!

If memories had a button, Christelle definitely pushed one of them right now. My sister’s voice that was stuck deep in my subconscious vividly echoed in my mind. It was something that a high school senior said while lying on the couch with her top being her school uniform and her bottoms being her gym class shorts.

‘Alright, let’s go! Let’s slap that face! Let’s go ham, Ham Ga-in!’

‘Bro, what is wrong with her?’

‘She’s been eating honeyed sweet potatoes all week and finally got a sprite shower.’

‘QNW?’

‘What else could it be?’

……Ham Ga-in was the name of the main character who was inside Christelle’s body. I was so shocked that I didn’t know how to react and just opened and closed my mouth like a goldfish.

Christelle must have thought I didn’t understand what she meant by her name, as she smiled brightly and explained. “My traces. It is the most important part of it, so I will only let you know, your highness. I haven’t even explained it to my mother yet.”

“When you say traces…”

“In the future, if you ever say Ham Ga-in and I don’t understand, I will no longer be the Christelle you know, your highness.”

“……”

Christelle’s face was firm as she said that and her blue eyes were not shaking at all. A feeling that could not be explained in words overwhelmed me. I tightly closed my mouth and barely managed to nod my head.

I then realized how spoiled I had been with my issues. How weak I was, to be twenty nine years old and run away from an unexpected variable. I started with a lot more hints than Christelle, but was so upset and acting immature less than one year into this life……

“Thank you very much.”

Instead of continuing to blame myself, I said something I needed to say. She tilted her head in confusion. The winter light came through the clean window of the nameless palace. The main character’s hair shone brightly as it received a gentle pat from the sky. I could hear birds and the breeze tickle the back door as well.

Christelle would have no idea about this. She had no idea that her existence alone had supported my sister and was now being an anchor for me.

“For telling me such a great story. I will learn to be more like you, Christelle.”

“Let things happen as they will and just walk your own path?”

“Yes, including that.”

Christelle then scowled. She then chirped away like a lark. “What else did I say? I can’t have you learning bad things, your highness.”

I ended up laughing out loud.

*

It was late into the night.

I was okay now. After have a heart-to-heart conversation with Christelle and returning to Juliette Palace, I felt completely free, and my mind felt much lighter. Benjamin and Ganael kept looking at me with odd gazes and laughing.

I felt like they were misunderstanding something but I thought it would make it worse if I denied things first, so I just left it alone.

‘Let’s sincerely apologize to the Imperial Crown Prince tomorrow. Then I can just return to my daily schedule.’

“Okay, let’s give it another try. Perry, I know you like rainbows. There’s a rainbow here in the picture book.”

– Cree!

“Rhea, you like me too? I see. Big bro likes you too, Rhea.”

I was currently standing in the middle of the bedroom with the red pandas, trying a new experiment. Despite no longer worrying about my future, I still had to work hard for my survival. No, I had to work even harder because I snapped to my senses too late.

I reconfirmed my goal of going back home. Being more accurate and getting more information would be the tools to get me home.

“Do you see this last color over here? This is called purple.”

Demy tilted his head in a way that seemed to be asking, ‘so what?’

“And this is the tulip Demy grew earlier.”

Sniff sniff. Demy sniffed around.

“If you are okay with it, can you help big bro grow a tulip of this color? Not any other color, just this one.”

– Squeeeeee!

Demy jumped up on his hind legs, flailed his front feet around and walked over. I quickly knelt down and hugged him. There was only one goal for today. I needed to confirm whether an earth attribute divine beast could use their abilities to grow purple tulips or sun halo weed.

“Good, you’re so smart. You want to give me a purple tulip first? Demy, no. I know big bro’s eyes are purple, but…”

The divine beast started licking my eyelids and cheeks. I was instantly attacked by the other two as well and rolling on the ground. Percy, who was on his bed, and Tithé, who was on mine, chuckled as if they found it entertaining.

‘Come save your soulmate……’

“Perry, hold on. There is a cold breeze coming in. The window must be open.”

– Pruu

I barely managed to stand up with a red panda scarf, red panda earmuffs, and a red panda belt. Cold air was coming in from somewhere. Ganael didn’t open it so it had to be Percy or the little troublemakers……

“Why are you avoiding me?”

I turned around and froze like an icicle. It was a familiar boy’s voice. Large orange eyes and black hair…

My jaw dropped in shock. It was not because Sadie had suddenly shown up in my bedroom. This was not the first time such a thing happened.

But, no way, is he…

“……Are you crying?”

I gasped. I quickly ran in front of him and knelt down!

—

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