Chapter Twenty Three [Flashback]

Faith and Saylor were both sitting on my bed with their arms crossed, facing the door, when I came through it. They wore matching neutral expressions. I gave smiling a shot, but it failed to muster. I'd walked in on my own intervention. They were ready. They presented a united front, which made sense. They probably heard the garage door when I came in, if not, they definitely heard me stomp up the steps. I played dumb. I was good at that.

"Is no one going to hug me?" I asked, spreading my arms out wide, wiggling my fingertips. Saylor nearly stood up, but Faith squeezed his leg, right above the knee and he got comfortable. "No?"

I kicked off my shoes and walked across the room to my wood and metal writing desk to sit down. Sitting on the bed with them was out of the question, but I was too tired to keep standing. I couldn't sit on the floor and have them talk down to me.

The desk was my best and only option, and I was certain they knew it. It wouldn't have surprised me if they had played through the scenario in some sort of messed up 'how to gang up on your best friend' dress rehearsal. Even in my own home, they were in complete control. Might as well bend over and take it.

"You don't want to date me anymore," Faith said, clearing her throat, "That's obvious, but I want to know why."

Her glistening hazel eyes stunned me the moment I locked onto them. I had to look away. I felt horrible. I made her feel inadequate when there was nothing wrong with her.

Faith was always pretty, even back then, when she tried her best not to be. It was back when she thought bright-colored, corduroy overalls were the move. They weren't. She thought the only hairstyle that existed for her naturally lush brown hair was the ponytail. She had these self-induced breakouts by pounding down greasy foods and never washing her hands.

Her lips were always chapped and she was always sunburned until I changed her life with a tube of Carmex and a bottle of SPF-30. Her parents were loaded, but you'd swear she was an orphan by how little she knew about self-care. My stint as glow-up friend in eight grade was extremely short-lived, but Faith never forgot about it.

I pulled my left foot up on the chair and sat on it, a weird thing I always did in office chairs. I stared down at my hands and took a deep breath, held it for a five count. "Faith, I s—."

"No! At least look me in the eyes when you lie to me, puto," she said acidly.

Silence.

It took me forever to look back up at her. I'd expected her to grow tired of waiting and take over the discussion like she always had. She didn't. Making me do the talking was how she'd inflict maximum suffering.

"Are we going to be okay?" I asked, beckoning to both of them, "All of us."

"Don't," Faith said, narrowing her eyes. She knew all my tricks. "We're here, verdad?"

I nodded. Sadly, I couldn't agree to whatever she said, mean it, apologize and promise to do better. No, she wanted me to learn for myself, to find out where I went wrong and how to fix everything, all on my own. I'd been called to the front. It was Mrs. Wagner all over again, stern and patient, with the watchful eyes of a hawk as I screwed up the area of a triangle for the fifth time. Even she learned not to ask the impossible. I needed hints, guidance, but like shits, Faith had none to give.

Silence, round two.

I bounced my right leg while I thought about everything I had to be sorry for. There was how I treated Saylor before he left, missing his homecoming to stay at a hotel, not inviting them to the trampoline park, avoiding Faith and lying to hang out with Jerome. No doubt, I was a shitty friend, but none of that would've happened if Saylor hadn't left.

Still, she didn't want excuses or apologies. She wanted answers and I owed her that much, but I was scared. They both knew it, yet they continued to sit there, staring at me.

What horrible friends?

I turned to Saylor, scooting my chair toward the bed. "Say—."

"No, don't look at him," Faith said. She kicked her foot out to stop my chair. "Me, first!"

I bit back a grin. I had a feeling she'd say that. If she had let me make up with Saylor, I could've waited her out, ending whatever this was. Still, I had to try. You never know until you know. I emptied my lungs through my nose and leaned back in my chair.

"I don't want to ruin things by dating, look at us now," I said, throwing my hands at her, "we're better as friends, friends forever."

She shot up from the bed with clenched fists. "Then why'd you ask me out in the first place?"

I shrugged. I didn't have an answer right away, not one I could give her. I couldn't tell her I felt bad that she never had a boyfriend or that I felt like I owed her for being there for me. "I never thought you'd want more than holding hands."

She stomped over to me so quickly, I honestly thought she was going to deck me. She clapped her hands down on my shoulders instead. "We're teens now. Teenagers kiss, they make out, they—I shouldn't have to leave the room when you change into gym shorts."

"You don't. I just don't care to see you do it," I said dumbly, swallowing my entire foot.

Saylor nearly exploded trying to hold back laughter. He managed somehow. I wasn't so lucky. I lost it from watching his struggle. I looked back up at Faith as a tear rolled down her cheek. I stood up and tried to hug her, but she shoved me away. I should've seen that coming.

"It's not you. I don't want to see anyone change, not if they're expecting a reaction, or a compliment. It's awkward." That was the truth.

I actually didn't mind her body, but I'm sure she didn't want me to compliment her on how flat her chest was or how she was getting broad shoulders from climbing trees all the time.

"Stop pretending," Faith said tearfully, "You don't find me attractive, fine, I'll get over it, but as a friend, tell me what's wrong with me." I stared blankly. "Ahora!"

I flinched, hard. "Nothing's wrong with you!" I held my head in my hands and groaned loudly. It was an intentional dick move to make her feel like she was crazy.

And she knew it. She stood in front of me in silence with one hand placed firmly on her hip. She clasped her lips and nodded as she backed toward the door. "You get one chance. Tell me something that isn't a lie or I walk out of here and I'll never talk to you again, Regal Evans!"

I knew she meant it. More than that, she already made her decision. She was done with me unless I stopped her. I couldn't think of anything she'd believe. I watched her turn away and disappear into the hallway. I didn't know what I was going to say, but I wasn't about to let her leave. I chased after her and caught up to her in my living room. Saylor was right behind me.

I grabbed her wrist, she shucked my hand away and stomped off toward the front door, but I slid in front of her as she wrapped her hand around the doorknob. She tried to yank it open and nearly did, but I clasped my hands together pleadingly.

I said, "Please Faith, don't leave."

She punched me in the face, in the mad-eye. I sank down to the floor in front of the door, covering my eye with both hands. I started crying, mostly because I was losing a friend, but I also hoped she'd feel bad about decking me and stick around long enough for me to figure something else out. Nope.

Faith pulled hard on the door, moving me with it. Three hard yanks and it was open wide enough for her to leave through. She sidled past Saylor, who had his hands held high in submission, the coward. He didn't want to get punched next. She popped the latch for the screen door with the back of her first and it squealed open. I rolled away from the hinges, toward the partial opening, reached out and grabbed her ankle.

"Faith! I'm in love with Jerome!"

The words had soared out of my mouth like a dragon's first breath of fire. It felt powerful to finally say it. It commanded Faith's and Saylor's complete and undivided attention. Faith came back inside, stepped around me and closed the door behind her.

"I knew it!" She wasn't upset. She was excited. Her mood had changed so quickly that she deserved an Oscar.

Saylor squatted down over me and wrapped his arms around my chest to lift me up. His embrace felt warm and secure as they both helped carry me over to the couch. I decided then was the best time to get the other thing out of the way as well.

"Oh, and I also might have superpowers."

I came out twice to my best friends in the same day. And they still loved me.