Chapter Nineteen [Flashback]

The very first time I had used my superpower was at my cousin's twelfth birthday party. I was thirteen at the time. I suppose I might have used it inadvertently before then, but that was when I had first put two and two together about my eye spasms and the flecks and spires that accompanied them.

It also happened to be the last time I had a falling out with both Saylor and Faith. A rare event, indeed. Saylor's laid back demeanor was a thing of legend and Faith was best known for her inability to hold grudges, so I had to screw up splendidly to piss them both off at the same time. I could always handle one or the other.

Faith, our fearless leader, was the brawn, Saylor was the brains and I was the clueless puppy-dog that was rarely held accountable for his actions. Whenever I messed up, one of them would convince the other that they should've been the responsible one. They should've known better.

Should it have bothered me that neither expected much from me? No. Why would it? The arrangement worked entirely in my favor. It was perfect. That was the way things were and I was completely fine with that.

Our feud crested the day of my cousin's birthday party, but to understand everything, we should start at the point when things first went wrong. Also, I like that point in time, life was pretty good for me back then.

Trouble started brewing when the final school bell rang. The one that dismissed us, permanently, from the seventh grade. There I was, staring blankly out of Ms. Wagner's row of classroom windows, looking like a future snack with my curly Nick Jonas hair and cool, yet distant vibe. Everyone else had eyes on the clock as they sat on the edge of the seats of their flip-top schoolhouse desks.

I was staring out at the chain-mail nets of the basketball hoops on the blacktop, but not really. In truth, I was sulking because I knew Saylor was leaving me for more than half of the summer. He had to put another huge dent in the National Parks of America adventure with his two-parent family, so Cynthia was picking him up from school to go to the airport.

I had no idea this would be the summer I'd fall in unrequited love with Jerome Williams, so there was no silver lining about it at the time. This was back when I wasn't any thinner or lankier than anyone else, back when no one cared about sports, back when all the boys had features nearly as soft as the girls and my ability to blend in made me seem like I had endless potential.

It was back when I thought eye spasms were migraines much like Dr. Nalor still did and it was before anyone ever uttered the new Mad-Eye Rudy. I peaked early.

I got along with everyone and I dated all the girls because I didn't know better. I saw it as an opportunity to go over their houses and accessorize or gossip about everyone else. Always having a girlfriend made me cool and there was no pressure to do anything more than hold hands or sit by each other at lunch. I was good at being a boyfriend back then.

The bell rung and Saylor came over to give me a farewell hug before he left, but I refused it. It was his fault for leaving me with Faith all summer. He started crying in front of everyone when I pretended he didn't exist. He made a scene, became the gentle giant and lost a lot of friends that day, but he didn't care. And me, I embarrassed him by refusing to say goodbye. I left for the bus and acted like I didn't care. I was spiteful back then. I didn't have the decency to let him know that I was sad he was leaving. Or that I would miss him. I was and I did, but I wanted him to hurt more than I did for leaving. He left me, I didn't leave him.

Saylor could've been the most popular kid in school because he was the tallest, but he knew who he was back then. We shared a special connection because I kissed him when he told me he was gay after he agreed that it didn't count as a first kiss. It was purely to find out if he was actually gay or not. He was, mystery solved. One friend down.

As for Faith, I caught up with her on the bus. We rode it home everyday together. She left at the bell because she knew what was going down. There wasn't enough money in the world to make her stick around while I snubbed our best friend. It took all the effort I had to climb those three steps to board the school bus.

As I took the long stroll to the back, I was absolutely certain Faith was about to unleash Hell's fury on me for going through with my horrible plan. I already regretted it, more than anything. There was nothing she could've said to add to my grief. Sometime between leaving the school and getting on the bus, the thought had crossed my mind that Saylor could die and that'd be the last memory I'd have with him. It haunted me, adding weight to each of those thirty-seven steps I took down the gray ribbed matting of that center aisle.

We always sat at the very back, so we could look out of that glorious bi-windowed door. We'd spy on the annoyed drivers who were forced to idle behind the bus as it made the most inconvenient stops to drop off passengers. Middle-aged businessmen in their luxury sedans made the most hilarious impatient facial expressions. The yellow pill with black stripes was our very own mobile railroad crossing and we always had front row seats to the best reactions.

One time, we watched a guy bounce up and down in his seat with his head thrown back for nearly five minutes. Saylor called it the dinner time toddler tantrum. It was spot-on. Back then, we thought the man must've been out of tardies at work. I know now that he most definitely had to take a shit.

I made it to the back seat, expecting the worst as I plopped down next to Faith, but she didn't say anything. Not a word. She hugged me from the side while I bawled my eyes out the entire ride home. My stop was before hers since she lived farther out of town, but she got off with me anyway. It was a huge deal because that wasn't something kids were allowed to do.

It was a liability thing. She actually got banned from taking the bus the following year.

We hid out at my place until her parents showed up, angry as hell, to take her home. Yet, because of the gesture, I made Faith my girlfriend. That was an equally huge deal because she was a tomboy and I had to break things off with the beautiful, rich and insanely popular Kristen Klein to make it happen. Yes, the same one Faith made out with years later. And with that, the downward spiral of my popularity began.

Skip to next month into summer while holding your finger down on fast forward. Faith and I were inseparable and we weren't completely isolated from Saylor either. It wasn't the dawn of the dinosaurs. We always found time to field his Skype calls together. All was not well. There was this thick, nearly tangible distance between him and me.

While I was sure it had a lot to do with how I had left things in person, I think he felt like a third wheel with Faith and I dating. He was afraid he'd come back and there wouldn't be room for him. We promised that'd never happen, but I doubted he believed us. Roles reversed, I wouldn't have, not after I'd snubbed him already.

Halfway into June, Faith wanted to turn up the romance in our relationship. I was her first boyfriend, so she must've felt pressure to make it count. Or maybe it was part of the whole thing about girls maturing faster than boys. Either way, I was terrified. I didn't mind holding hands or kisses on the cheek, but I didn't want to swap spit with her and I definitely wasn't interested in more than that.

Since she was constantly making moves on me like some savant chess player on the game board of romance, I had to keep my distance. I was so desperate for time away that I had Mom enroll me in a summer sport. Those were divided by gender, so it was the one place Faith couldn't follow me.

Of course, Jerome was signed up for everything. We ended up bonding over soccer because I was actually good at it. No, let me brag for a moment. I was the best on the team, way better than him. Fútbol was the sole connection I had with my two older brothers. Anytime they came around, fútbol was what we talked about and fútbol was what we did.

They'd always have new moves to show me or challenge me on dribbling. They kept me sharp. I was a beast. If Solon High had a soccer team, I would've had at least ten more friends than I ended up with.

Through soccer, Jerome and I grew close extremely fast, mostly because he couldn't stand that I was better than him at something. I couldn't have gotten rid of him, not that I wanted to. Most days, he'd come over to my house unannounced to practice dribbling in our community backyard, but our friendship expanded beyond the scope of soccer.

We liked the same music, the same YouTube channels, the same foods and he was a great guy to talk to. I couldn't be sure whether things would've turned out the same if I had met Juice back then instead, but I was in free fall for the earnest Jerri. The problem: I was constantly lying to Faith, so I could have him to myself.

I had no idea how to approach a boy I liked, but I knew I couldn't have my girlfriend around or he'd assume I'd never want anything more with him. I did. Jerome made me realize I was a raging homosexual. I wanted to swap spit with him and do all the things I got sick thinking about whenever Faith mentioned. We never did those things, but Dream Jerome and I had done plenty.

My cousin was on the soccer team with Jerome and me. Josiah and I were nearly the same height and build, but he had ratty hair, a visible mustache already, a huge mole on his left cheek and he was just overall less handsome. I won't go into all the different ways because that would be rude and I could go on forever.

Seriously though, Josiah and I got along fine and he invited the whole team to his birthday party. It was at a trampoline park in Cedar Rapids, which wouldn't have been a problem if it wasn't the same day Saylor was coming back from his months long vacation.

I would've skipped the party in a heartbeat, if it hadn't been for one thing. Since we're family, I was invited to stay with Josiah at a hotel the night before. I still would've skipped, but here was the thing: I was allowed to bring a friend.

I could've brought anyone, even Faith and she expected me to, but I invited Jerome instead. It wasn't a matter of choosing him over her. There was simply no way I was spending the night with my handsy girlfriend, even if he hadn't been an option. Two friends down.