CHAPTER 6

My "Clinic Online" radio program airs every Saturday at 7 p.m. As the resident psychologist, I offer guidance on our avid listener's problems related to psychological issues.

We have gained many followers because we also livestream on Facebook. Aside from my daily job, I love this side job, too. This is not due to my accolades or attention but because it has allowed me to reach many people wholeheartedly, which is now my ultimate goal.

"Doc. Ara, we have another caller asking for advice," Dr. Andress Tan said as our radio program began. He is my partner on Clinic Online, a thirty-year-old Filipino-Chinese psychiatrist. Kuya Drei was more like a big brother to me at the radio station. "He's on the other line. Good evening, ma'am," he said again.

According to rumors, he had many secret admirers at our station, including Melay and Denver. Even I do, so why not? Given that he was a dashing "chinito" psychiatrist, he stands at five-eleven. He has broad shoulders, accentuating his well-toned physique. But the only catch was that, according to everyone, Kuya Drei was already married and didn't want to disclose it. He's not the type to share his personal life, even with me. And I respect that because I am the same way he was.

"Good evening, Dr. Andress and Dr. Clara," the new caller greeted. Her voice sounded like an older woman. "My concern was about my nephew."

I grabbed my white mug and drank some water. The studio's air conditioning could quickly dry out my skin. "Ma'am, how may we assist you?" I asked the caller.

"My nephew seems to have gone snapped. His girlfriend left him recently," she explained.

We had heard many cases like this before, which was familiar to Kuya Drei and me. "When did this happen, ma'am?" I asked her again.

"Ma'am, if I may," Kuya Drei interrupted me. "Is your nephew a teenager?"

The caller answered, "No, Doc. He's in his early twenties, and he is handsome."

Kuya Drei surprised me by saying, "Why don't you introduce him to Dr. Ara here? She's beautiful and single now."

He gave me a mischievous smile, which prompted me to force a smile back at him. We faced each other at the table, with the radio equipment between us.

"Ma'am, don't take Dr. Andres's words seriously," I defended, giving him a stern look. "He was trying to lighten up the mood."

On the other line, I heard the caller's giggles. Then she speaks again. "I felt sorry for him because I had always seen him as aloof and quiet since he started living with me. I'm even afraid that he might jump out of the window or hang himself."

"Is there a chance that your nephew becomes aggressive or irritable?" I asked the caller again. This is a clear indication of "broken heart syndrome," which most people suffer from after a breakup.

"I haven't seen him exhibit such behavior. And if he does, I'll knock on his head to make some sense."

The way she said those words made me laugh. I also saw Kuya Drei's oriental eyes widen and stare at me, bewildered.

"Based on what you said, ma'am, your nephew was experiencing severe depression," I explained. To some, it might just be a simple breakup, yet it still needed special attention because depression was not a joke. "It's a good thing you came to us for advice. We should not take these experiences lightly. They can have many negative effects on your nephew, mentally, emotionally, and even physically."

"Regarding heart problems, having a solution was a challenge. However, why must your nephew be that way when he is equally as handsome as I am, ma'am?" Then Kuya Drei's comment caught me off guard again. And in my mind, are you okay, Kuya? Shouldn't you be helping me give advice here? I shook my head while chuckling but decided to be serious with the caller when I turned my attention back to her.

"Ma'am, I invite you to visit my clinic with your nephew. I'm willing to help him. The staff will give you the off-air address of my clinic."

I paused talking. A wide beam painted my lips as I remembered getting into this radio station.

Once, I had a client who struggled with 'broken heart syndrome.' She was a forty-year-old woman, and her husband left her for another woman. Her experience significantly impacted her life, particularly for her three children. I did everything I could to help her from her debilitating mental health. Eventually, I was able to heal her. Then, I realized I had made an excellent decision to have this profession because I was good at executing it. On the other hand, of all the people I helped to cope with their mental health problems, why couldn't I heal myself?

We became close, and as a result, she introduced me to Kuya Drei, who was working at Clinic Online at that time. Kuya encouraged me to be a guest, and after that, 'the rest is history.' They made me a regular, and I ended up enjoying it because it's where I found my true calling: helping others, even if it was only a piece of advice. And this testament made me who I am today.

My credentials as a psychologist became even more impressive because many people could recognize me. However, I don't treat such feats as a measure of my success. As long as the pain from the aftermath of my past still dwells in my heart and mind, my credibility is worthless. There is nothing more complicated than healing my wounds, which, until now, has been a challenge that I always lose.

Even though many people know me, I never tell them about my past. This includes my friends at the radio station and Kuya Drei. I want to satisfy them with the trust they have already given in my skills.

But sometimes, I ask myself. Clara, till when?

"Do you still have something to say, doc? Ara?" Kuya Drei cut my daydreaming short.

I straighten my body from the chair. "All right, ma'am, please come to my clinic this Wednesday. I will be there from eight in the morning until five in the afternoon. Please do not hang up; my staff will still talk to you."

I gestured to the staff outside our room, whom I could see through the large window.

"Thank you very much, Dr. Ara and Dr. Andress. Good evening again to you," the caller said, bidding farewell. On air, the caller cut off the line.

***

As the busy day ended, I was in my car and ready to go home. I was about to start the engine but paused and made a wide beam. Gosh! I need to help them. I could relate to the pain the woman's nephew is going through.

I could not explain why I always end up like this now. My mind always urges me to help others because, to be honest, this is not how I used to be.

Back in high school, I had a penchant for not caring about the world. Because I was the spoiled youngest child, I was selfish and quickly upset when things didn't go my way. I still remember that in school, I never let anyone copy my assignments. I also didn't participate in class activities, and what I hated the most was group reports because I could do them independently. That may be why I didn't have any close friends back then.

Everything changed when Hector came into my life. He didn't force me to change. He merely influenced me. I leaned back into the driver's seat and closed my eyes. I could still remember how precisely Hector was.

***

I stopped in front of our university's covered court. After receiving an SMS from Hector saying we would meet here, I put my flip phone in my blouse pocket.

The ample, tall bulletin boards first caught my attention, almost occupying the entirety of the covered court. That day was enrollment day for the first semester, and I still needed to figure out where to find him among the sea of students flocking around here.

I tried to walk around while constantly looking. I paused my stride and grinned because I immediately recognized Hector's red rubber shoes. A large bulletin board obstructed his upper body. I was about to surprise him, but I heard him talking to someone. I couldn't help but listen to their conversation.

"Bro, this is too much. It's embarrassing," the voice of a guy said.

"It's okay! Come on, Gab. I told you before that you should never hesitate to tell me about your problem. I can't help you if you don't tell me," Hector said.

"I owe you a lot, Tor! I promise I'll make it up to you someday."

"Don't worry about that, Bro. What matters is that you can enroll today. Your family depends on you, and I'll only take a few subjects this semester."

I took a deep sigh because Hector had lent his money again. Hector always assists those who come to him for help. He is always willing to lend a hand without expecting anything in return. Sometimes, I even act like an antihero to them because I'm afraid others will take advantage of his kindness. And that's one of the many reasons why I love him so much. He has a handsome personality, and I learned a lot from that character.

"And this is what brotherhood is all about. We help each other," Hector said. The guy was his fraternity brother. "If you have any problems, just tell us."

I finally revealed myself to them. Their attention turned toward me.

"Hi, Clara," the guy greeted me. I know him.

"Hi, Pete,"

He bid his farewell, and only Hector and I left. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Hector asked me. His eyes spoke, particularly his lower eyelid.

I don't know why my smile is reaching the sky now. "I'm done with my enrollment, Daddy. Where are we going now?"

"Where else but to watch a movie? Remember, that was my promise. Come on. We should be going now, or your mama might scold us if we come home late."

He made me chuckle at him when he looked serious in those words, realizing he feared my mother. Hector loves to tell Mama jokes that make her laugh whenever he visits our house. He touched my shoulder, and we left the covered court.

I opened my eyes again as those memories slowly faded away. I was still inside my car. I wiped the tears from my eyes because I didn't realize I was crying again. That's when I understood everything. Hector taught me why you need to help others without expecting anything.

I nodded to myself. "Hector, thank you," I whispered bitterly. He changed so much about me.

I started the car's engine again and decided to go home.