That Thing

The kitchen was filled with the savory aroma of the meal Auau had prepared with Save's help, and it felt like a peaceful moment for once. They had managed to make something decent together, and Save was, surprisingly, proud of what they'd cooked.

"Alright, let's eat before it gets cold," Auau said, setting the final dish on the table, his face glowing with contentment. He flashed Save a small, genuine smile. "You did a good job helping. Not bad for a beginner."

Save couldn't help but smile back, though his cheeks were still a little warm from earlier. He grabbed his chopsticks and began to dig in, trying to focus on the food rather than the weird feeling he couldn't quite shake off.

As they ate, the soft clink of their chopsticks was the only sound in the room for a while. The food was better than Save had expected, considering his usual cooking experience involved something that could be more accurately described as "edible" rather than "delicious."

But something was nagging at the back of his mind, something he couldn't quite let go of. His thoughts kept drifting back to Por's question, the one that had made his skin crawl earlier. Had they done THAT thing yet?

Save poked at his food for a moment before, without thinking too much about it, he blurted out, "So, about that thing."

Auau paused mid-bite, looking up at Save with a raised brow. "What thing?"

"The thing married couples do," Save said, his voice awkward, not meeting Auau's gaze. "You know... the thing Por was asking about."

There was a long silence. Auau slowly set down his chopsticks, studying Save's face carefully. Save had never felt more self-conscious than he did right now, sitting across from Auau with his heart racing. He felt like he might burst into flames from the intensity of his own embarrassment.

Auau leaned back in his chair slightly, his smile playful but with an edge of curiosity. "What about it?"

Save could feel his throat go dry. He didn't know why he brought it up. Maybe it was just the wine they'd been drinking earlier, or maybe it was because his mind kept circling back to the same question. He didn't want to talk about this. He wasn't even sure if he was ready to talk about it, but there it was.

"I don't know..." Save started awkwardly, his fingers tapping the edge of his bowl. "Por just...he asked me if we've, you know...done it yet. Since we're married and all."

For a moment, Auau didn't respond. He just stared at Save, his expression unreadable. Then, as though to relieve the tension, he gave a small chuckle.

"Did you really need to bring that up?" Auau asked, his voice light but with a hint of amusement.

Save flushed, his eyes darting down to his food. "I didn't mean to! It just sort of slipped out."

"Mm-hmm," Auau hummed thoughtfully, then he leaned in closer, his voice taking on a teasing edge. "Well, if you're asking if we gonna do that, I'd say we're still getting to know each other, aren't we?"

Save's stomach did an uncomfortable flip, his face burning with embarrassment. "I didn't ask," he muttered, sinking lower into his seat. "I just thought it was... kind of awkward, you know?"

Auau chuckled again, clearly enjoying Save's discomfort. "It's okay, Save. There's no need to be shy about it. You're married to me, after all. We're allowed to have those conversations."

Save's heart was pounding in his chest. He wasn't sure if he wanted to crawl under the table or just run away. This was beyond awkward. "Yeah, but-"

Auau cut him off, leaning closer in a way that made Save's breath catch in his throat. "We don't have to rush anything. I'm not in a hurry, and I'm sure you're not either." His eyes were warm, his tone gentle, as though trying to make Save feel less on edge. "We've got time. We're still figuring things out."

Save nodded quickly, his mind swirling. He hadn't expected the conversation to go like this, and maybe it was for the best. Still, he couldn't help but feel a little awkward. "Right. Yeah, we don't have to rush."

Auau leaned back again, his grin softening. "Exactly. You're not in a rush, are you?"

Save's face flushed deeper, and he quickly focused on his food again, not trusting himself to answer. "No! no rush."

The silence between them stretched for a moment, but this time, it felt more comfortable. Auau seemed to understand that Save wasn't ready to talk any further about it, at least not tonight.

After a long moment, Save risked a glance up, only to find Auau watching him with a quiet, knowing smile. It wasn't teasing, but it was full of understanding.

"You know," Auau began softly, "if you ever want to talk about that, don't hesitate. We can take things at your pace."

After the conversation, a heavy silence hung in the air, and Save couldn't shake the strange feeling that had settled deep in his chest. The warmth of Auau's words had comforted him.

As Auau continued to eat, Save's mind wandered back to the earlier moments, to the gentle teasing, the closeness in the kitchen. Didn't that mean something?

He glanced at Auau, who was looking at him now, seemingly lost in thought as well. Save's heart gave a small twist. Maybe Auau didn't really want to be with him like that. After all, he was being so patient, so considerate.

The thought gnawed at Save's insides. Did Auau see him as a responsibility? Was that why he was so calm about everything? Was he just being kind to the awkward, stubborn guy who had been thrown into a marriage by family obligations?

Save fiddled with his chopsticks, suddenly feeling too small in the space between them. He wished he could just shut off his thoughts, but they only grew louder. Maybe he was just a placeholder, someone Auau had to deal with.

"Save?"

Auau's voice broke through his thoughts, and Save looked up, startled. Auau was still looking at him with that patient, gentle expression, but now there was a flicker of concern in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

Save didn't answer right away, his gaze drifting back to his half-finished meal. "I'm fine," he muttered, his voice soft. He forced a smile, trying to brush it off.

But Auau wasn't convinced. He set down his chopsticks and moved closer, his voice quieter now. "You don't seem fine. You've been quiet since we talked about that."

Save looked down, his chest tightening. "I guess I'm just thinking about stuff."

"What stuff?" Auau asked, his tone almost tender now. He reached out and gently placed a hand on Save's. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

Save hesitated, his mind a whirlwind of questions he wasn't sure how to ask. Was he being too forward? Too needy? But then, the doubt that had been circling in his chest slipped out before he could stop it.

"Do you... do you really want to be with me?" Save blurted out, the words feeling heavier than he expected. His voice cracked slightly, and he cursed himself internally for sounding so vulnerable.

Auau didn't answer right away, and Save's heart started to race, the fear creeping up that maybe he had asked the wrong thing. Maybe he had gone too far.

But then Auau squeezed his hand, his touch warm and reassuring. "Of course I do," he said softly. "I wouldn't have agreed to any of this if I didn't want to be with you, Save."

Save blinked, unsure of how to process what he was hearing. He didn't know why, but the answer made him feel both relieved and unsettled at the same time.

"I don't understand," Save admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I mean... you're so patient with me, and you never push me. I guess I thought..." He trailed off, unsure of how to explain the tangled mess of emotions in his head. "I thought maybe you didn't really want me that way. That maybe this was just something you felt obligated to do, because of the marriage or whatever."

Auau's expression softened, his eyes full of understanding. He gently lifted Save's chin, making Save look him in the eyes. "Save, I'm not doing this out of obligation. I'm doing it because I care about you. I want to be with you. Every step of the way."

Save swallowed, the lump in his throat growing. "But you never... you never make any moves. You never push me."

"Because I want to respect you," Auau replied, his voice calm but firm. "I know things aren't easy for you right now. And I don't want to rush you into something you're not ready for. But when the time comes, we'll figure it out. Together."

Save's chest ached as he listened. He hadn't realized just how much he had been worrying, how much he had been carrying around that fear of being unwanted. He had spent so much time doubting his place in this marriage that he hadn't given Auau the chance to prove just how much he cared.

"I don't want you to feel like you're alone in this," Auau continued, his hand still holding Save's gently. "But I also don't want you to feel pressured. I'll wait for you, whenever you're ready. And if you're never ready, that's okay too."

The weight in Save's chest lightened, and he found himself nodding slowly. Maybe he had it wrong all along. Maybe Auau wasn't as distant or detached as he had imagined. Maybe Auau was waiting for him, just as patiently as he had always done.

"Sorry," Save whispered, feeling a little embarrassed now. "I guess I'm not used to this. I don't know how to be with someone like this. I'm sorry for overthinking everything."

Auau smiled softly, his thumb gently brushing over Save's hand. "It's okay. You don't have to apologize for feeling the way you do."

Save nodded, taking a deep breath as he looked up at Auau. The worry and sadness that had been gnawing at him for the past few hours started to fade. He felt better. Not completely sure of everything yet, but a little more at peace.

"Thanks," Save said quietly, his voice a little more steady. "I guess I just needed to hear that."

Auau leaned forward, planting a gentle kiss on Save's forehead. "You don't need to say anything. Just know that I'm here for you. Always."