Chapter 154

A shadow descends upon our happy conversation, quite literally. It is Leana, to no one’s surprise. She possesses a tact most mean girls lack, which is the sole praise I will ever give her. The voice dripping in disdain has been washed clean, replaced by a tone that is lighthearted and almost sweet.

“Greetings, your highness. I am glad to see you at this tea party. How fares Princess Julia? It has been a long time since I last saw her.”

Her tone is polite, but the question is disrespectful. It’s like biting into a cream puff and tasting mayonnaise. But despite the whispers that arise with her question, her carefully crafted smile does not waver.

She is her mother’s daughter. Had Lady Bryce not smiled at me the same as I’d been forced to hold the boiling hot tea cup?

“My dearest sister is in fine health, just focusing on her studies at the moment. I will be sure to pass on your well wishes, Miss...” I deliberately trail off, as if she is not important enough for me to recall her name.

“Miss Bryce. We’ve actually met-” she quickly tries to add, but I don’t give Leana a chance.

I cut her off with a sly smile of my own. “It’s wonderful to meet you properly, Miss Bryce.”

.....

“Well met, your highness,” she says through lips struggling to maintain their cheerful curvature. “As I was saying, I do believe we have met once or twice before. I am a close friend of Julia’s.”

Close enough to know of her plot to have me killed during the hunt? That is what I want to ask, but instead I just shake my head in a bashful manner.

“Unless you frequent the palace grounds often, I’m afraid I wouldn’t have had much opportunity to see you,” I murmur shyly.

A faint blush arises on my face, but no one would realize it’s from the hot cup of tea rather than the secondhand embarrassment of pointing out to Leana that she is not important as she thinks she is. Visiting rules for nobility have often been notoriously strict for centuries, only those of the highest rank or with special permissions are able to visit occasionally.

The other girls titter lightly behind their hands, having caught on to the underlying implications of my words. But I know it isn’t out of support for me. It’s out of support for the imperial family. As of yet, no one knows me. But just like with Leana, I am more than happy to introduce myself to the up-and-coming members of high society today.

Leana bristles and I relish at the sight. I can read the young girl’s face like a book, her mind flipping through different ways to insult me without being outwardly disrespectful of an imperial family member. It’s a game of appearances, to give people one thing on the surface and another underneath. Leana’s fingers curl into a fist as her smile becomes sickly sweet.

“Since birth, it is true I’ve only had the privilege to visit the imperial palace on a few, rare occasions. Such is my fate as someone with lower birth.”

The last sentence she tacks on after a bit of hesitation, an obvious, deliberate jab at my low birth. The entire yard goes silent. Leana has taken this game a touch too far. But I don’t mind as she’s only set up the very conversation I was hoping for.

“Fret not, Leana. May I call you Leana?” I say with a casual wave of my hand, a redundant question moreso meant to remove the niceties between us. If I wanted to call her a pig, I could. If I wanted to call her a trollop, I could.

“One’s rank is always flexible is it not? From generation to generation, one’s fortune can change like the wind or the tide. Your mother married well to grant you an upbringing of greater rank than herself. A low birth is nothing to scoff at. One’s character and morals far outweigh such things.” The barb of her mother’s status being slightly lower than her father’s, a cause for light scandal several years ago, was artfully buried in between high-sounding platitudes.

“That is difficult to argue against.”

“She speaks well, the princess.”

There was delicate chatter in agreement. Even though one’s birth is obviously a critical component of one’s place in society, it appeared crass to place full importance on that criteria. There were nobles of lower rank whose importance in the empire far outweighed that of those of higher rank. Take the Duchy of Mulworth, a cause of much grief in my earlier years. Aside from possessing a larger territory than most, Duke Taylor’s impact within the empire was weak in comparison to Count Koberg or Baron Laroche.

The clenched hands slowly loosen in defeat. It’s a shame that Leana is too young for a good, verbal spar. But I’m sure a few years by the wily Prince Amir’s side will sharpen her skills.

“Thank you for educating me, your highness,” Leana says with a curtsey.

“It was my pleasure, Leana,” I reply with a kind grin as I emphasize her name. “I do hope it serves you well across the Moor.”

My words sound indifferent, as if I did not just throw a bomb at the end of our conversation. I turn back around in my seat and take a sip of tea as Leana Bryce digests the heavy words.

“Pardon... me? Y-Your highness?” I take an even longer sip of tea, only noticing Leana when Nina signals to me.

“Is something the matter?” My long lashes flap up and down, the picture of innocence and confusion.

Leana Bryce steadies herself with an exhale. Her cronies on either side of her are still in shock looking between each other and me. “If I may ask, can you please elaborate on your last sentence? The one about... the Moor?”

She hiccups as she speaks of the massive body of water that separates the empire from the Old Continent.

“For your impending nuptials. To Prince Amir,” I say like she should know what I’m speaking of. As seconds pass and her face becomes scrunched up as if she’d sucked on a lemon, I allow a little bit of shock to bleed into my tone.

“Do you mean that... you don’t know? Oh dear,” I fret. “Your mother must not have had time to tell you.”

Judging from the fact that Leana doesn’t know, I’d wager that her mother intended to keep her daughter in the blissful dark until the last possible moment before sending her off across the sea. Unfortunately for her, I am not of the same mind.

“M-Marriage?”

I look side to side, as if just now noticing the enraptured crowd hanging onto our every word. Leaning in as if to seem considerate, I say, “Perhaps we may continue this conversation in a more private setting.”

“No wonder Mama is so strange lately...” Leana is lost in her own world. I’ve never had the privilege of watching someone’s whole world fall down around them until now. It is not satisfying at all, in fact, it’s rather bittersweet. Her or me, I remind myself. It was either her or me.

Leana’s eyes move back and forth in her head, beads of sweat tumbling down her hairline down her cheek. But finally, she gathers her wits about herself and straightens. Never forgetting her manners, she turns to Elsbeth and nods her head in a dignified manner.

“Miss Laroche, I’m afraid I feel rather unwell. I shall have to take my leave early. Thank you for the invitation.”

“Yes of course!” Elsbeth chirps with wide, deer-in-headlight eyes. “You there, escort Miss Bryce to her carriage!”

“Yes, Miss!” a maid waiting on the side chirps. She comes to Leana’s side, helping the pale girl take steps across grass that seems to have become as unstable as quicksand beneath the shocked girl’s feet.

“Miss Bryce!” Someone shrieks. Leana seems to look up at the sun beating down overhead, but it turns out to be a proper faint as her body crumbles beneath her.

The maid awkwardly catches Leana’s dress sleeve, which partially tears as Leana kisses the well-manicured lawn. Everyone is in a tizzy. A maid runs inside to fetch Lady Laroche, who had left us girls to our own affairs. Someone else yells for a doctor and I’m certain I hear a girl or two burst into tears.

In my eyes, these noble girls are soft. Soft and woefully overprotected. Or perhaps, I’m too desensitized. I’ve seen too many people die before my eyes to be affected by a mere faint. But I put on an act of rushing to Leana’s side while cursing my luck. If I don’t troubleshoot properly, tomorrow’s gossip will claim that I bullied the young Miss Bryce into a dead faint. Never mind the fact that she approached me first with ill intent and further inquired about the marriage. At the end of the day, it’s all about perspective.

So right now, I rush to her side with a look of great concern. “Step aside, I shall heal her!”

It’s mere shock, the kind of fix that shouldn’t cause me the slightest bit of pain, and yet I feel something painful flutter through my chest. Leana’s eyes flutter open and I take a step back as other people converge around the awakened young miss.

“Leana are you alright? The princess just healed you! Be sure to thank her!” Antonia warns as she falls onto her knees next to Leana, both comforting the viscount’s daughter and reminding her of the proper etiquette.

I expect burning animosity in Leana’s eyes when she turns to me with the aid of those near her. But there is none, just a strange mixture of defeat, resignation, and an emotion too confusing for me to decipher right at that moment.

“Thank you, your highness.” Leana’s voice is as weak as a feather as she bows the elevated half of her body towards me.

I shake my head. “I was only doing what I could do. I am... sorry, Miss Bryce.” In a way, I am also apologizing for putting her in the position of being shipped out of the empire in place of me.

But with this knowledge in her hands, Leana can plan in advance and guilt trip her mother. If Lady Bryce were to be truly tormented by her daughter’s immense sense of betrayal in these last few days before the Aidelish delegation takes to the sea, one cannot be certain she would continue to hold Empress Katya’s best interests at heart. Especially after my people accidentally help her find out about Lord Bryce’s bastard.

Well done, the devil on my left shoulder praises as Leana once again teeters away.

You ought to be ashamed, the angel on my right admonishes.

Nina helps me rise from the floor and I teeter a bit, forcing her to catch hold of my right shoulder and in a way, brush the angel away. One step closer to saving yourself, the devil sings.

I shoot up in bed wide awake in the dead of that night. Heartbreak. The emotion I’d seen in Leana’s eyes and in a way, felt, was heartbreak.

I don’t sleep for the rest of the night.

My fingers rub against the necklace Bianca claimed once belonged to Winter’s mother. There is great irony in carrying around the infinity symbol as I become short on time.