Chapter 152

The gift for a certain Miss Elsbeth that I have yet to meet sits nestled in a box that appears nearly as precious as its contents. The container is wrought in gold, with a delicate clasp in the shape of a heart. But inside it lies a sweeter gift on a pink pillow, a gold ring with the intricate rendering of a rose on top of it. The workmanship is so fine that the flower truly looks like it was captured in full bloom and dipped in gold. But I hardly have time to admire the workmanship as I get ready for the tea party where I shall present the gift.

“Are you sure this is the right style?” I wince right after I ask as Marie tugs at a piece of icy white hair a bit too hard. I’d gone to bed the prior night without braiding my hair, so intent was I on finishing the book about divorce that Henry the kind librarian at the Imperial Library had given to me. Now I’m paying the price.

“This has been a trend in the capital recently. Apparently, all young ladies of high standing have been doing it. It will look lovely on you, your highness!” Marie coos, eagerly teasing the comb through my impossibly long locks.

I grumble but don’t say anything more, silently acquiescing to her bidding. Sometimes our interactions really do seem like that of a mother and daughter.

A lavender gown of taffeta is slipped over my shoulders and laced up behind me, the maids paying little mind to my grunt as they pull the dress fabric taut over my tender chest. True to Marie’s tendencies, she still finds ways to loop matching ribbons into my trendy hairstyle, which now falls over my shoulders rather than the stiff updos that were considered chic just a few short years ago.

Still, bonnets never go out of fashion and she ties one on over my head as Nina rushes in yelling about how the time is short. We make eye contact through the mirror and she looks away. That’s what I like to see. The ever-present guilt in her eyes.

The day that’s gone, I’ll be in trouble.

.....

“How do I look?” I ask no one in particular, twirling in the dress and clutching Elsbeth’s gift in my sweaty palms. I can’t believe I’m this nervous for a young lady’s tea party, the equivalent of a kid’s birthday party in my world.

Marie looks like she’s about to burst into song, so jubilant is her mood. “Absolutely dazzling, your highness. You shall be the most lovely girl at the tea party!”

“Lovely like a rose,” I murmur absentmindedly, thinking of the ring I am to gift Elsbeth.

Today is a day of a few firsts. I’ve been to banquets and balls, but only one of those was beyond the palace walls. I follow my attendants to where the carriages and horses have been taken from the stables. Two footmen bow and help me onto the lily-white imperial carriage, which is slightly easier to get on than the last time. It feels strange to step out without Marie or Emma or someone I’m truly familiar with by my side. That’s what makes this excursion feel even more strange, as if I’m about to enter uncharted territory.

The carriage rolls past the black iron gates that I once crawled under like a dog, the wheels rumbling on the cobblestone. We go past the empty section that no one is allowed to enter, before emerging into the busy, bustling Radovalsk. Sights greet me like old friends. The fountain in Winifred Plaza bubbles happily while the familiar cafes and restaurants are full of patrons as usual. The city doesn’t feel like it’s changed, but I have significantly since the last time I roamed the streets freely.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

I look away from the streets to the hands that have been nervously flipping around the elaborate gift box in its grasp.

“Nina,” I utter when the scenery has fully satiated my hunger for the outside world. She jumps as if she’s been electrocuted, so on edge was she.

“Yes, your highness?” she replies, recovering quickly like any well-trained attendant.

“So jumpy,” I chuckle, covering my mouth delicately behind my hand. Nina smiles sheepishly to herself and I can sense her walls come down a little.

“I just hope that the tea party goes well, your highness,” she tells me to explain away her nerves.

“Myself as well,” I quickly agree. “Tell me, can you still see the bruise on my neck?”

I point at the unblemished skin and already know what answer to expect. The last remnants of redness and swelling disappeared a few days ago.

“No, your highness. There’s no wound to be seen,” Nina replies obediently.

“That’s good. But even when I can’t see the wound, I can still feel it,” I sigh. I sit back and look at her expectantly.

Nina is slow to understand, but she’s worked at the palace long enough to figure it out in a few heartbeats.

“Your highness...” The hands spinning the box stop dead in their tracks.

“How is your brother?” I inquire suddenly.

I watch Nina gulp nervously. “He is well. He has begun studying for the exams in the fall.”

I’ve never seen this brother of Nina’s, but according to Emma, he is indeed a smart kid now that his health is no longer a bargaining chip for the empress to exploit. The higher-ranked personnel who work at the palace gain the rare opportunity to allow their family members to participate in the official examinations held right at the end of the social season in the early fall. It breeds the promise of potential social mobility. After all, if you have a family member who manages to get into one of the empire’s prestigious schools and start a decent career, you will have a chance to be served rather than make a living serving others.

Who wouldn’t jump at such a rare opportunity?

“That’s good. If he’s anything like you I’m sure he’s incredibly bright. How do you think his chances are?” I continue conversationally.

“I think they are good, your highness,” Nina replies. She is wary, her keen senses that keep her aware in the dangerous palace no doubt sounding alarm bells in her head.

I nod to myself. “That’s good. That’s very good.”

“It is?” Nina must be surprised by my questions and asks one of her own. Outside, the streets grow sparser and cleaner. We are starting to enter the affluent East Bend.

“Yes. Because I know someone who will be needing his spot at the exams,” I finish, dropping a bomb on the attendant.

“Your highness!” It’s a rude outburst, but Nina’s reaction is understandable.

“Yes, Nina?” My calm reaction is like night and day to her tone, causing her to stop and take a few breaths.

She opens and closes her mouth a few times, struggling to find what she should say. Composure in the face of chaos is something that all attendants must innately possess. It’s the reason why they aren’t relegated to the same black and white dresses of common maids and servants, and why they may accompany the imperial family beyond the palace walls. A privilege not many get to enjoy. Let alone former traitors.

There is a modicum of intelligence in Nina’s head despite the panic coloring her cheeks an unnaturally red color. “I have been true to you all these years, your highness,” she finally sputters.

“You have,” I easily agree.

“Then why-?” Her voice trails off, but her question is apparent.

“I have one question for you, Nina.” I innocently smooth out my dress’ skirt, it seems taffeta wrinkles rather easily. “Should traitors be rewarded?”

“No, your highness. But we are orphans, my brother and I. My family was moderately well-to-do, which was why I was able to secure entry into the palace. But then they passed suddenly and left me and my younger brother with so much debt. There was nothing I could do! I had no choice! I have been repenting all these years!”

A hint of a sob hangs in her tone, but I look on unsympathetically as she details her plight.

“Repenting?” I almost snort as I think of how I’ve let her carry on as if she didn’t betray me. “You have been rewarded unjustly. Every minute you draw breath. Every day you are allowed to serve by my side. Every month you take your generous pay home to your little brother. And year after year after year, I tolerate having you by my side.” Each word from my mouth is like lightning in the clear sky, making Nina jolt and jump.

I let out another sigh and look out the window wistfully as we pass by the immaculate and exclusive store window of Arabella’s Couturier. “Nina, you are lucky to be alive. Lucky that you crossed me when I was younger rather than now. Have you not eaten well at my expense all these years?”

“I have, your highness,” she practically whispers. I smile generously at her, pleased that she understands.

“It’s good you know. Then you should understand that some rewards only go so far.”

“Yes, your highness.”

“Are you mad, Nina?” I lean forward so I can see her eyes. I search for that same spark of greedy rebelliousness I’d once seen in Janice a long time ago and foolishly dismissed. There’s anger, of course, a little sadness, but no rousing hunger for more.

“No, your highness. I wouldn’t dare,” she says, shying away from my piercing gaze.

“That’s good. I would hate to have Marie train a new head attendant who understands my needs as well as you do. But I’d imagine there are many who would be eager to do so,” I add conversationally.

“There are, your highness,” she says, tucking her head down.

The implications in my words are clear. Any dissatisfaction or anger will quickly get her replaced by a younger upstart eager to gain my good graces as well as the pay raise and benefits of being an attendant.

We enjoy another minute of quiet carriage riding until the carriage pulls to a jerky stop. I can hear chatter outside, other guests arriving at the same time as myself loudly speculating over who is in the imperial carriage. But my head attendant doesn’t seem to have noticed.

“Nina,” I call.

“Your highness!” She seems to brace herself for more words from me, but I just gesture to the door with a grin.

“We’re here.” The first stirrings of excitement erupt in my belly. It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t satisfied with our conversation just now. This is just a prelude, a precursor to the many, many debts I have to collect from those who owe me.