Power Without Purpose Is Scary

The day of the group battle for capture the flag was descending upon them. Two weeks had passed surprisingly quickly as Ova worked out different formations or strategies for his team. However, Asaya was still pretty bummed out, even though she tried not to show it. Willow had ended up bailing, so instead of hanging out with the soft-spoken person she felt drawn to because of their subtle similarities, she was stuck lounging next to Ova in the common room that the two of them were currently filling, everyone else having gone to bed to get ready for tomorrow.

“Ova, am I just not likeable? Is that it?” she whined miserably, the man beside her combing through his hair in his pretty white pajamas made of the finest silks he could afford.

“Stop taking things so personally. Willow’s just shy, that’s all,” he reprimanded, angling his face in his large mirror that was propped up on the table for him to see himself. His long-sleeved top had posh golden buttons lining it up with matching embroidery on the hems. He wore white cotton slippers around his feet and crossed his legs appropriately, and he was doing his best not to be annoyed as they had this conversation for the hundredth time.

“Yes, I know that’s true, but they’d agreed first, you know!” she pumped her fist up in the air from where she was laying on the couch, knees curled up with her toes poking at his thighs, before her legs suddenly snapped and she threw her shins into his lap, Ova blinking in surprise as he recoiled his hair. “Maybe I did something wrong to upset them. Or maybe I acted too excited like a dumbass. I know people can sometimes get nervous or be totally weirded out if someone acts too excited to talk to them. Or maybe they thought I was stupid. I was throwing out a bunch of stupid ideas for our group, wasn’t I? They might’ve thought I was dumb and inefficient and a waste of time.”

“Or maybe they thought you ran your mouth too much with too many silly ideas,” Ova snapped, frazzled as he stared at the legs in his lap, carefully wondering how to go about this. Examining them, Asaya had just bathed and looked to have clean, soft, shaven legs, so it shouldn’t be a problem. But the action had still surprised him, and he didn’t often like people getting too touchy with him right before bed after he’d already showered, so he decided to throw in some sass anyway.

But Asaya didn’t seem too bothered by it, and merely kept fiddling with her blond bangs as she let out another forlorn sigh. “Ahhh, maybe you’re right, I do talk a lot. Maybe I was just too annoying. Do you think I’m annoying, Ova?”

Ugh, what in the world had happened to their dynamic? It started out with two people being rather guarded with each other, before Asaya suddenly decided she liked him and things turned into whatever this was. He’d usually be fine with someone rambling nonsensically to him about anything under the sun, as Ova wasn’t picky with his conversation topics, but the problem here was that Asaya had been complaining about this person for the past week. He wanted to talk about something else, damn it! But still, she seemed genuinely bothered, and Ova didn’t want to be an asshole, so he ignored her legs and continued diligently combing his hair. It helped that Asaya’s legs were clean, so he was less bothered.

“No, you’re not annoying. Like I’ve been saying, Willow doesn’t seem like they’ve adapted to being too sociable quite yet, so it makes sense they’d be hesitant,” he reiterated, before taking a peek at Asaya’s face, who was quietly staring at him. “...what.”

“Well, I’m not calling you a liar or anything Ova, but you look pretty annoyed with me right now.”

“Do you want me to be nice to you or not?” he snipped back, only to relax slightly when Asaya let out a laugh.

“Haha, yes please, please be nice to me. I’m just a little girl!”

“You’re older than me, though, so what’s that make me?”

“A cute little bitch boy.”

“...thanks. At least I’m cute,” Ova decided to shrug off, smiling when Asaya delved into another fit of snickering. He really wasn’t the cute one here. He could imagine that Asaya was the type of person who attracted a lot of admirers, with her spunky personality yet almost mesmerizing warmth. Ova had to admit, even though he didn’t really see her romantically or anything like that, she made him want to feel closer to her.

It was a bit stupid, now that he thought about it to himself, because she seemed so much more captivated with Willow, rather than him. It made him frown slightly as he set his comb down, running hands through his long pink strands that hit the middles of his shins whenever he stood, before he spoke up reluctantly, feeling slightly humiliated for having the gall to ask this, “So, why do you want to be friends with Willow so badly anyway?”

Ah god, did his jealousy show through that? It probably did, right? Ova was just attracted to Asaya’s open-mindedness, how nothing seemed to phase her, and how genuine she was in everything she said and did. She had secrets, but she was honest about who she was at the same time. It was admirable, in a way, and he just wanted to be on equal terms with her. But, luckily, Asaya didn’t seem to catch anything deeper behind his question, and merely laid her arm on her forehead as she stared glumly at the ceiling.

“You might not get it,” she spoke slowly, voice sounding almost defeated as Ova’s ears tuned in, and he found his neck turning involuntarily to stare at Asaya’s pretty face. “But just... they look lonely. They aren’t talking to anyone, but they look like they want to. And I relate a lot to that,” she admitted, voice sounding a bit strained as Ova watched, intent. “I know I look pretty extroverted now, but there was a point in my life that wasn’t too long ago where I’d pushed everyone out. I holed up in my room and didn’t leave, even though I wanted to connect. And no one helped me. No one extended a hand, no one tried to get me out. So, I just,” her voice cracked, and his eyes widened slightly at the genuine openness behind her words. The openness he’d craved to have with someone for so many years.

“I just wanted to reach out. I wanted to give someone that helping hand that no one gave me. I relate to them, and I want to help them. Although, I’ll admit I don’t understand them entirely,” she sighed, looking frustrated by that fact as her legs stretched on his lap. “I don’t understand why they hate their power so much, or why they hate themselves. Their power represents them, and I can see why, you know? There’s so many good things they could do with it, if they just learned a bit more control… so I just don’t get why they’re so scared. But of course, there’s probably a reason, I just have yet to discover it,” she whined again, Ova swiftly looking away as he let all of that absorb.

She really was kind. That voice of hers that still seemed drenched in loneliness was doing its best to reach out to someone who she saw was in pain as well. He didn’t quite know what to say. A part of him wanted to open up with his own insecurities and inner wounds, to try and garner some of that warmth she was radiating, but that would probably be a selfish thing to do. He was surviving on his own well enough. Viper and Druyn were like older brothers to him, so he wasn’t alone, even though he’d never be closer to either of them than they were to each other.

He didn’t really have anyone he was particularly close with, huh? Maybe that’s why he was craving Asaya so much. Maybe it didn’t even matter that it was her specifically, and he was only drawn in because she was open and friendly. Ah, but it wasn’t like it mattered. They’d established a friendship, at the very least, so even after this group project was over, things would flow organically from here.

And then came the very next day, the day of the test. Each team had their own flag, and the first team to deliver all four flags to Pegasus in the middle of the forest would be declared the winner. Of course, you could only deliver all four flags at once, so whoever had them all would be a major target. And with two teams of three and two teams of two, things were bound to get interesting.

Not to mention, Ova honestly didn’t think he was at as much of a disadvantage as Pegasus had initially told him for having two new students being a part of his team, considering they were both so powerful. Asaya and Willow could easily pull their weight, there was no question about it. Plus, Asaya had already had Elkan memorize the entire forest, so it wasn’t like she could get lost despite being on her own in their plan, and Willow would be with him the entire time, so things were looking smooth.

Of course, that was what he thought. But another one of his teammates was thinking perhaps the exact opposite. Willow didn’t dislike Ova in the slightest… in fact, they really respected him! They thought he was a handsome individual who had good leadership qualities and who was very inclusive and direct. He was a bit intimidating, if they were being completely honest, and he seemed far more capable and independent than Willow could ever dream of being, but… even with all the confidence it looked like he had, they just weren’t sure if they’d really be able to do everything he was expecting from them. And, right when the games began and Ova had Willow move forward to attack Viper and Halla’s team first, they nearly flinched when the man gave them a pretty smile, leading them to wonder how anyone could have such a good-looking face.

“Don’t worry about messing up. In fact, you probably will mess up, and that’s fine, okay? It’s normal to mess up when you're under pressure for the first time, so don’t think that makes you a bad team player. You’re just learning, and there’s nothing wrong with that,” he assured them, and Willow nodded absently as they tried their best to believe that.

Ova might be saying that now, but what if they made a mistake too big? Willow was far out of their comfort zone, and they didn’t know what to rely on to feel safe in this new, intense environment. There were no familiar sights, no comforting blankets to squeeze and smell when they felt anxious. But they still tried to nod and be as responsible as they could possibly muster, giving the man a small, “Oh, um, r, right. Thanks… thank you.”

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“Uh huh, sure! Don’t mention it,” Ova grinned, before they finally came face to face with Viper and Halla’s coordinates.

Asaya had brought out Elkan the moment the games had begun, and the skilled elf had deduced by judging the people’s energies that they were being targeted specifically by Viper and Halla’s group, as well as the group with Lumis, Spike, and Clementine. But they ran into Halla first, who’s entire body had turned into a skinny yet somehow muscular ghoul, with skin as pale as paper that looked like it was rotting on her bones, and a face that didn’t even look human. It was contorted into a gross snout with red gleaming eyes poking through wrinkled skin, and her hair looked like a hag’s as her body grew two times its original size, with boney wings wrapped with skin popping from her back and a second row of arms growing out with long claws that could cut through stone. Her jaw, which usually looked fine and normal, now had a severe underbite as her sharp, pointed fangs sprung forward brutally, like it could snap through a person’s neck in seconds. This was Halla’s magic… ghoul. She could turn herself into a real, historically accurate ghoul, despite real ghouls being so rare. Apparently, she’d been obsessed with ghouls as a kid, and it had turned into the very power they saw in front of them.

Ova thought it was disgusting. She really did look like a witch when her body transformed into that ugly wrinkly mess! Ghouls were so disgusting, why would anyone be interested in them? He knew Halla was kind of goth, so maybe it just came with the territory, but he really didn’t get it! The boney wings that looked like they were about to fall off the body, along with wrinkly, sagging skin that looked like it was rotting… blegh. He hated it. He hated fighting Halla. That’s why he immediately hollered for Willow to follow their plan and handle her.

Although, on the contrary, Willow found her magic to be quite interesting. Even when Halla was clearly aiming to attack them, they thought the creature she’d morphed into had some poetic beauty to it. Perhaps, if Halla knew Willow and Ova’s thoughts, she would’ve aimed for Ova instead. Although, her attack didn’t last long before their power started doing its job, and they let out a little sliver to catch hold of Halla’s mind, corrupting it.

They really tried not to make things too dark, and perhaps their fascination with the ghoul had pulled it off, because the hallucination that Halla was experiencing was being picked up by a ghoul and flown off to who knows where. Ova watched her stumble and fall, snickering amusedly to himself as he thought she totally deserved that, before Halla let out a screech and stumbled over.

“Perfect, nice! Keep that up, darling!” he cheered happily, whooping in his excitement as he aimed his lasers at Viper, who was off in the distance.

And you know what? The reason Ova was only ranked fifth place out of the seven students that were currently ranked was because… sometimes he had bad days. And by bad days, he meant that sometimes he didn’t feel pretty enough to harness much power. But today he felt utterly gorgeous. Asaya had complimented him endlessly about the moisturizer he used for his hair after he generously shared some with her, and she’d fawned over it and complimented all the materials he used to make it as well as how luscious it made his hair look. To make things better, this morning she’d complimented again! She wondered how he could have such flawless hair waking up in the morning!

Ahh, and it was true, his hair had been very nice to him today. It was very long, so sometimes it got in the way of him and was a mess to harness, but today things had gone so smoothly. He felt like such a pretty prince, he did. If he were royalty, he’d fit the look, without a doubt. That was why he was so confident even as he faced Viper, someone who was ridiculously insane, as he aimed two fingers and shot a pink laser burst with all his might.

“Ohh, you’re coming in strong today, aren’t you, Ova?” Viper’s face gleamed as his arm morphed into a large snake, throwing it right into the heart of the blast as it absorbed most of the damage for its owner, who didn’t seem to mind that half of the large snake that'd been morphed from his arm was incinerated. “Did you get another lover, by chance?”

“Nope, still single!” Ova responded with a laugh, pointing both his fingers at the dangerous man as Viper’s arm regenerated with another snake. After all, as long as the snake part of his arm got damaged, and not the original human part of it, he could regenerate it all he liked. It’s what made him annoying to deal with.

Though, his personality didn’t really help either, as Viper laughed openly, “Oh my, still single! How long has it been? Is this a new record for you, Ova?”

“Hah, hardly! I’m not some playboy! I haven't dated anyone in months! I am a whore, though. I slept with someone like, uhh, few days ago?”

“Sounds about right,” Viper laughed, snake blaring forward as Willow gave them a bewildered stare, having not expected that kind of conversation.

Sleep… sleep with people… like sex? So he did that a lot? Willow felt slightly horrified at that image, because they weren’t certain anybody would ever want to touch them in that kind of way. They weren’t exactly attractive, with a bony physique and slouched shoulders, and they weren’t confident enough to try to get into a relationship like that, anyway. They supposed they were right about thinking Ova was confident, if he went around doing stuff like that a lot! Willow could never find the courage. They felt too inferior as it was.

Still though, they remembered their job, and quickly homed in on Viper with their power. He was the one they needed to worry about, as he was the second strongest person in the class as well as the one who had the most experience. Willow wasn’t entirely sure what Nemara had done to top this guy, but they felt immense admiration for her capabilities. Yet, they were suddenly starting to get a bit overwhelmed…

Viper had a lot of snakes in his hair, and each of them had their own mind and senses. That meant Willow had to unleash more power to cover them all, if they wanted to take the snake-like man out of commission entirely. They winced as they tried their best to focus, body beginning to sweat and tremble as they attempted to focus on their output.

Don’t do too much, don’t give too horrible of a hallucination, try to keep it tame… don’t overdo it, don’t hurt someone…

When suddenly, their concentration was broken as another group showed up at the very scene, and Willow blanched at the number of people.

“Willow, focus on Viper! I’ll try and handle these guys,” Ova encouraged as he faced Lumis, Spike, and Clementine, while Clementine held their blue flag with prime confidence. Ova could imagine that Viper had just molded a snake out of his flesh and left that to protect his own flag, so he was keen on trying to find that, but for some reason, everyone was making a pit here. Druyn and Nemara were giving chase to the other three, Nemara’s telekinesis doing its job as Druyn leaped forward with his charged strength, immense rage blaring in his eyes that would usually be calm on any other day.

They were almost terrified looking at it. Druyn was usually so tame and relaxed, but his power was certainly something intense… his emotions turned into super strength. Whenever he felt a strong emotion, he could even take it away and store it for later, and when he tapped into it at that later date, he would be overwhelmed with that emotion to an extreme as he was overtaken by inhuman power and speed. His reflexes were something else, and he was smashing through Spike’s attacks with only his kicks and punches. Nemara was taking on both Lumis and Clementine at the same time, and Willow backed up a pace as they tried to figure out what to do.

Halla was unconscious, Asaya was the only one who wasn’t there, and Ova was telling them to focus on Viper… but there was just so much going on. If they let out their power now, wouldn’t all of these people be affected? But they needed to do something to help their team… and yet they were frozen with fear. They needed to let their power out, but they could feel their overwhelming anxiety eating away at their senses. Their vision was beginning to become muddled as a creeping voice itched into their ear, and Willow’s dark face paled as they heard its whisper.

“Let go. Let it all go… let it out, and be free.”

“No… no,” they trembled, lower lip quivering as their eyes zeroed in on nothing but the empty space in front of them. Their power was a raging storm they couldn’t control, with a mind of its own and claws that would lap at every living mind it could reach. It fed off people’s despair, it made those around them suffer, and Willow just… didn’t want to see that.

They immediately turned on their heel and started walking in the opposite direction of the mass fight, ignoring any calls that might’ve been called out as a dark purple mist began swirling around them. “No, stop it, stop it, stop it,” they tried to tell themselves, hitting their face repeatedly with as much strength as they could find in themselves, their brain knocking around in their skull as their vision began to blink in and out.

“No, please, I don’t want to hurt anyone,” they cried, the dark mist growing larger and larger as it swirled around them, and Willow didn’t stop walking as they kept trying to get themselves further and further away from that innocent crowd of people.

“I just need to control it… control, control…” they cried, tears escaping from their glowing green eyes as they were surrounded by a dark tornado. They stood in the eye of the monstrosity, and they weren’t sure how many people were falling victim to their hallucinations as they began to run, run anywhere, run someplace away from all these people.

“M, mama… papa,” Willow sobbed, running headfirst into a tree as they stumbled over their own feet, vision dotting white as they coughed on a choked breath, heart thrumming rapidly inside their body as all their limbs began to heat up like they’d been lit on fire. Their clothes began to feel drenched in sweat, and Willow face-planted harshly into the ground as they struggled to lift themselves back up, before finally managed to drag themselves upright, crying miserable while they curled themselves up on the ground, desperately trying to soothe their raging storm.

Last time this had happened, Valentine knocked them out to make the storm stop. Should they just knock themselves out again? Maybe if they rammed their head really hard against a tree, they could do it, and everything would stop. That was a good idea, right? Well, even if it wasn’t, it was the only idea they had, so Willow would just have to try it.

They crawled blindly on their knees and shaking limbs until they bumped into the nearest tree, and they dragged their body on top of it as they wrapped trembling arms around the brown trunk. They were prepared to do it, to hurt themselves to stop this intense madness, their heart wailing inside them as they mustered up the resolve to handle this alone.

After all, that was why they’d come to this school, right? To learn how to control their immense power without needing Valentine or other powerful authorities around to keep them in check. If they couldn’t even do this by themselves, then why were they even here? What were they doing? What was the purpose?

Yet, suddenly, despite how hard their raw nails clutched at the trunk of the tree, they found themselves pause. As crystal clear as it could possibly be in this dark, dark storm, came a voice that sounded like a song, and Willow paused in their actions as they gripped the bark tighter, nose sniffling as they turned their head towards the angelic sound.

“I get it. It’s lonely, right?” spoke the soft, delicate voice, something so soothing and kind amongst so much chaos. Willow had never thought they’d see the day. “I understand. Having power without purpose is scary, isn’t it? It makes it hard for people to reach you. But I’m still going to try, okay?” Asaya smiled, her voice entirely perfect and serene as she took her first step into the raging storm of hallucinations, and Willow felt like their breathing was about to stop.