Those Golden Years Felt Tempting

Classes weren’t really all that strict, from what she could gather. Pegasus was only there to supervise them and give them guidance whenever they asked for it, but as far as actual classes went, it was rare to have them all studying in the classroom. Of course, there were research materials that they could access, and a vast library Asaya was certainly going to devour during her stay here, but what the ten students usually did each day was train their abilities in the fields at the brink of the forest. It was fascinating to watch, and she would’ve loved to have Elkan join in, but there was a big problem with that.

Elkan’s knowledge over his power was already maxed out, and he couldn’t improve on his own since he couldn’t expand his mana reserves without Asaya’s help, so there wasn’t really much for him to do. Although, she truly hadn’t known what other route she could take on the first day, so she’d summoned him anyway, and had been slightly shocked by how he caught the classes’ attention.

“Oh wow, you’re the summon-who's-not-a-summon,” Viper marveled curiously, sneaking closer as the only student who came close to standing at Elkan’s eye-level. He was the tallest among them and came right up to the bridge of the tall elf’s nose, and his head of snakes was raising itself higher to be on par with him. “You’re massive. It’s not every day I meet someone taller than myself, you know?”

“And he’s got muscles, too,” Ova couldn’t help but admire, eyes dragging over Elkan’s robes and the physique hidden underneath. “You could only dream of looking this majestic, Viper.”

“Ahh, you’re right, you’re right,” Viper grinned, the beginning of a manic look scouring over his expression as he looked over Elkan’s torso. Except, there was a clear difference between the two men’s stares. Ova looked more lustful, like he was quite enjoying looking at the sturdy yet slender elf in front of him who just happened to be more than a head taller, while Viper had some sort of mad look in his eyes that Asaya couldn’t understand. Well, that was before he suddenly sucked in a breath, before breathing it out in a wispy husk, “I want to dissect him…”

The group all looked at their strange classmate in unison, a mixture of disappointment and exhaustion overcoming their features, although none of them looked surprised. Halla was the first to speak up, deciding she would stop hammering down on Asaya for today and follow what Spike, Lumis, and Nemara had asked of her… to truly try to get to know her before making any more assumptions. But she still wouldn’t stand for Viper being this openly unhinged, and she promptly stood up to remind him, “Viper, you can’t just say that. Filter yourself.”

“Haa, right, sorry…” Viper simmered down, still glancing around Elkan’s body as Asaya turned towards her creation, pondering.

She really didn’t care if she was misunderstood or not, since her power wasn’t known to the class. In fact, Asaya was keen on speaking her mind, just like she always had. But she still had to consciously ignore all the horrified stares she received as she laid a hand on Elkan’s sleeved arm, patting gently on it as she marveled, “I dunno, maybe we could gain a few things out of dissecting him… I’ve never really stopped to figure out how my power effects those under its reach.”

“And you could also always revive me,” Elkan agreed, lowering his chin to properly smile at her. “I’ve never been dissected before, my lady, but there’s always a first time for everything. If you were the one to cut me up, I wouldn’t mind.”

“Wait, huh?” Asaya glared, staring up at her creation in disbelief. The class was busy ogling at the two of them and trying to desperately gather information based on their words, most of them doing their best to ignore whatever innuendos were being thrown around, but Asaya was busy looking at Elkan like he’d just grown two more heads. “I’m not actually going to dissect you. I know you can control your pain tolerance, but that would still be a little disturbing, wouldn’t it? And I already told you, I don’t want you to die, so if you have to, it’s going to be our last resort.”

“Hm, you value very trivial things, my lady,” Elkan shrugged, but promptly quieted himself when Pegasus swooped down into the clearing, her flurry of beautiful white wings overtaking the scene as the students all stiffening, their teacher landing firmly in the center of them.

Asaya had no way of knowing this at the time, but while their practice was always being monitored from afar, Pegasus only swept down when she had something to scold them about. If she was coming to give advice, she’d enter by walking and would subtly approach the person of her target, but when she had something to say to the whole class, she’d take the dramatic approach and fly down in a flurry of white wings and feathers. And, as Pegasus swept her teal eyes over all of them at once, most of them had a good idea as to why she was down there, and their teacher wasted no time in getting to the point.

“Now, aren’t you supposed to be training? I’ve already received your schedules from all of you for this week save for Asaya, so I know you all have things to be doing, instead of standing around talking amongst yourselves,” she reprimanded sternly, hands on her hips as the crowd began dispersing, Ova dragging Viper away as Halla returned to her field with Clementine and Nemara, one of which who had her eyes locked on Asaya the entire time, and had to force herself to look despite how much she yearned.

But Pegasus was quick to turn towards her newest student, one who she’d barely had a full conversation with as of yet, glorious smile stuck on her face as her wings molded back into her body, hands clasped firmly together as she gave Asaya her full attention. “Now, I’m sure you’ve heard, but all of my students are to make schedules for themselves each week, and it’s my job to make sure you’re following that nicely. Though I do understand today is your first official day of class, so why don’t you tell me what you plan on doing to improve?” she prompted happily, voice chipper and sweet as Asaya turned to stare at her, taking in the question for what it was worth.

She knew that Pegasus already knew everything about her power from what she’d told Valentine. Legend has it that those two women had gone to school together a few centuries back and that they remained as close as sisters, so Asaya was aware they would naturally confide in each other, but it also had to do with the fact that a teacher couldn’t really help a student improve if they didn’t know any of the personal details.

Asaya had long come to accept that, so she merely nodded her head, processing deep in her mind how she wanted to go about this. She’d already come to the conclusion that having Elkan train his individual abilities was pointless, so that meant she, as the person wielding the magic, needed to do something to train and improve. She needed to do something that would make her power stronger, or more protected. And she had been developing several ideas for that, so… here went nothing…

She took in a shallow breath, releasing it slowly to properly begin her ramble, Pegasus watching in amusement as her eyes blinked up eagerly. “I need to write more!” she exclaimed earnestly, as if it were the most obvious thing she could’ve said. “The more new books I write, the more my mana grows, but there’s also something that’s been worrying me…"

"If I only have one copy of each book, what happens if that book gets destroyed somehow? I can try keeping them safe all I want, by keeping them in water and fire proof boxes, you name it… but there’s always a possibility that something could happen. So I was thinking of a way to counteract that, y’know? So, like, what if I just mass produce each book I’m going to be pulling from?” she threw out there, Pegasus watching her in slight amazement, silently pondering over Asaya's spilling thoughts as she resigned herself to intently listening.

“Elkan is already maxed out with the number of levels and achievements I have right now. He won’t be able to improve unless I gather more mana, which means I need to enter more dungeons. But what I can do is make going into dungeons safer for me by having multiple copies of each book, so that even if one of them is destroyed, I have several back ups that allow me to manifest Elkan or any other character into reality. This is the plan, so even though I know it’s not really increasing my fighting capabilities at all, I think it’s the wisest thing to do at my current level,” she finished earnestly, Pegasus smiling at her with pride as she let out a short chuckle.

My, this girl had so much energy. It felt like she’d been dying to talk about her idea with somebody, the way it tumbled out so passionately, and Pegasus wondered for a moment why on earth she’d ever try to hide her magic with such an eager personality. However, it wasn’t her place to speak on that, so she merely gave a soft laugh, a feather morphing out of her body and into the palm of her hand as she extended it to Asaya to keep.

“When class ends today, I want you to find a sheet of paper from somewhere and write down everything you just told me to create your schedule. I want you to include how many copies of each book you want to have as an end goal, and how many copies you want to make each week, to give you something closer to look forward to,” she smiled, watching as Asaya took the white feathered quill with wide eyes, turning it over in her hands before poking the smokey grey tip. “Heh, everything you write with that specific quill will transfer over to my mind, so you don’t need to actually show me the schedule you make, as I’ll have it memorized. I suppose you’ll find this a safer method, since you’re aiming for secrecy, yes?” she encouraged, Asaya turning up to blink at her as she gave her a quick nod.

“Uh, yes. That’s right.”

“Perfect,” Pegasus approved, clapping her hands together as she continued along. “Then I’ll make sure plenty of blank books are here for you by tomorrow, and I’ll have a desk set up along with anything else you may need. I know it may be inconvenient, but I’ll need you to be working in this area, so that I can monitor over you as well, and make sure you’re working hard! For today, though, why don’t you have Elkan spar any student you may be curious about? You might have lost to Nemara, but I’m sure you’re still eager to test your talents, right?” she smiled, Asaya’s expression brightening at the preposition.

“Really? I can do that?” she gleamed, Pegasus giggling softly at such excitement as she nodded.

“Yes, why of course! If you think you’ve made a breakthrough, or you want to test something, then this time is where you should be proactive with your classmates and ask for help! And of course, if you’re really feeling daring, you can always spar me, too. Though I admit it’s not common for me to get asked that by most students,” Pegasus laughed heartily, Asaya staring at her in wonder. She knew Pegasus was strong… after all, she was a teacher at Soul Star Academy for none other than the gifted class. The woman had to be nothing short of spectacular, even when you didn't consider the many legends that revolved around her face and fame.

And that same night, Asaya found herself wondering if she could find any memory clips of Pegasus in all her action and glory. The human woman might look young, but she was actually almost four hundred years old and was considered a seasoned dungeoneer. She was part of the Realisma Guild, under the goddess who controlled reality, and she was one of the most skilled Elite Rankers before she retired and became a teacher. Of course, she had to be skilled, because the goddess had recruited her personally. Asaya found herself wondering just how powerful someone had to be to get recognized by one of the gods, how in tune you must need to be with yourself and your magic... and fell asleep wondering what it’d be like to meet one... one of the gods...

The days after that, however, weren’t very eventful. She’d wanted to befriend Willow, since they seemed sweet, although she didn't really understand what drove her to be so intent on it. After all, the other person had never approached them first, and seemed more closed off than anything else. But something them just screamed pain... like they were hurting, like something behind their eyes was breaking. And Asaya didn't like to look at that. It made her want to reach out, to touch that vulnerable soul and make it feel seen, seen in a way she'd never been. It felt like it was something she needed to do.

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

But she could never find them during meals or after classes were over. Even when class was in session, Willow disappeared somewhere deep in the forest, and Asaya didn’t want to intrude on their time to work on themselves. So she sat at her desk near a thick, sturdy tree, long branches hanging overhead as bright green leaves scattered all around her little deks, and wrote for hours on end.

She copied, and copied, and copied... sentence after sentence after sentence.

It was diligent work, but she didn’t mind. If it would help preserve Elkan’s existence, she’d do anything, no matter how tedious or time-consuming. She might’ve been talking about dissecting him just out of sheer curiosity, but she’d never actually do something like that. No, she wanted to preserve him to the best of her ability, to preserve his special spot in her life, and so she continued to write his tale over, and over, and over again.

It wasn’t the most enjoyable task, but it was something to do, at least. Something to keep her preoccupied when she couldn’t talk with Lumis. Because as much as she hated to admit it, Asaya was having trouble fitting in, and everyone else seemed to be fairly wary of her… and since they had already formed their cliques with years of knowing each other, Asaya felt somewhat of an outcast. Spike didn’t look to be meshing in too well either, and he kept wandering off someplace else entirely during meals, so she did contemplate just saying fuck all and finding out where he was hanging out so she could join him.

After all, she couldn’t sit with Lumis. He’d invited her, sure, but someone else was always sitting with him who she just couldn’t bring herself to face. Not Nemara, who she’d been avoiding like the plague. And Asaya thought she was being pretty successful at it, too. They hadn’t so much as made eye contact, and even though the woman had tried tailing her a few times, Asaya had expertly evaded her every attempt.

It felt somewhat like a game, where Nemara was "it" and Asaya was desperately trying to avoid getting tagged, except this game felt like it had dire consequences. Like if she was “it,” she would physically combust on the spot and cease to exist.

But of course, evading could only last so long when it came to Nemara, as her old friend had always had a will of steel… and so even when she tried to keep to herself, preoccupying herself with writing next to her old oak tree and peaceful desk surrounded by nature, her peaceful world was shattered as the very person she’d been avoiding like her life depended on it stepped right up to meet her.

Nemara’s long, spiky black hair was the color of dark ink, and it was still so thick she had to tie half of it up behind her just to get it to settle. In fact, it didn’t look like it’d grown all that much since four years ago, so she must have been taking care of it diligently. And her eyes... her wonderful, deep, captivating eyes, were still the same deep shade of violet, a dark, tranquil color that held so much fine depth. Her dark lashes were long against her pale skin, with sharp, slender eyebrows furrowed down as if showcasing her anxiety when Asaya looked up to meet her. She had to stuff down her emotions to keep a level expression, just the sight of Nemara's delicate yet rough face making her feel the need to hurl, but she kept silent as her long lost friend stared at her, brows creased as she seemed to be fumbling over what she should say.

“Um, Asaya,” she blurted, her voice sweet and delicate to the ears... but somehow, she still found it repulsing. That voice used to be her sole source of comfort, and now it made her feel so sick. And the thought of what she’d lost just made everything worse, her muscles contracting in her seat as she tried her best to keep her calm. Asaya really didn’t think there was anything that could be said to fix this, and her ears nearly burned when Nemara swiftly added, voice dripping with nerves, “I’m sorry. Look, please, I’m sorry for everything I said. I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I’d really appreciate it if you let me tell you my side of—”

She was abruptly cut off, however, when a jar of ink got splashed right onto the front of her thin black jumper, and Nemara carefully held her breath as Asaya stared at her, furious. Perhaps she should have expected that.

“Yeah? Your side? You’re gonna tell me why you ditched me?” she spat out, her words angry and merciless as her old friend flinched. The ink bottle slipped from Asaya’s hands and fell to the ground, the leftover fluid melting out onto the fresh soil as she felt her eyes burn. “Do you even hear yourself? Why would I want to know the real reason you didn’t want to be around me anymore?!"

“Uh, no, I meant why I did what I did…” Nemara spoke smally, voice fragile as she tried to make her small correction, only for Asaya’s glare to furrow deeper.

Her expression seemed to freeze over, heated anger turning icy cool, and for a moment, Nemara wondered if seeing her furious with a broken temper would be preferable. She almost didn’t know how to choke out more words when Asaya’s back suddenly straightened in her chair, nose still scrunched up with a face that showed nothing more than disgust. “Sure, fine,” she spat dangerously, Nemara sucking in a shallow breath at hearing that kind of tone. “Tell me why.”

“Well. Well, because,” she froze, her ability to keep her composure sorely lacking. Usually, Nemara was a pro at keeping her calm, at staying tempered, at wearing a grade A poker face no one could breach. But of course, that all went to hell whenever it came to Asaya. Even before now, she could never hide anything from her. She didn’t want to. She’d never wanted to. Her emotions didn’t know how to hold themselves back whenever Asaya was involved, and maybe that’s why she choked on her own words as she tried her best to find them, “It was because you were acting so reckless. I didn’t want you to get hurt, and I was angry that you seemed to value yourself so little.”

Well, that went smooth enough, didn’t it? Nemara had never been good at expressing herself, and she was honestly still more used to Asaya intuitively reading her mind than actually having to talk about her emotions in depth for her to understand... but she had a feeling it wouldn’t be enough. Not with the way Asaya stared at her, even more hurt crossing over onto her expression as Nemara faltered.

“Seriously? That’s it?” the other woman wilted, her voice tense and dripping with venom. “You didn’t talk to me for four years… you didn’t reach out, didn’t try to check on me, didn’t try to see me, and that’s all you have to say?”

“...well, you didn’t try to talk to me, either,” Nemara pointed out before she could think. There was genuinely no malice behind what she was saying, she was just making a counterargument that had seemed rather obvious to her, but with the way Asaya’s anger spiked to a new high, she couldn’t help but take a step back.

“You. Get the fuck. Away from me,” Asaya hissed, breathing ragged and uneven as she stood up from her desk to jab a hostile finger into Nemara’s chest, who tensed the moment they made contact. “I don’t know what you want from me. And honestly, I don’t care. Because to me, it’s far too late. Do you understand? Do get it, Nemara?” she barred out, Nemara’s eyes widening as she instinctively looked away, eyes latching onto the tree behind her as she backed up another step.

This was getting to be too much. She really did want to apologize, and she wanted to be genuine about it, but Asaya didn’t seem to want to let her. Of course, apologies shouldn’t be forced, and if her old friend wasn’t ready yet, there wasn’t exactly anything she could do. But it’d already been three weeks at school, so she figured they would’ve made some progress by now. Progress with Asaya had always been easy to make. Why was it so hard now?

Well, the answer to that was obvious, Nemara just didn’t want to face it.

She was honestly starting to panic, desperately grabbing for straws as she tried to grasp at any secret weapon she could use so that Asaya would talk to her. Anything so they could have a real conversation. Except, suddenly, her deep, violet eyes caught sight of the book her dear childhood friend had just been writing in, and her sharp gaze zeroed in on a specific name. It fell out of her mouth lazily, her mind working wonders as she recalled everything she knew about Asaya. Everything she’d learned while growing up together, everything she’d seen that made her smile, everything she’d watched her do that made her eyes glow and gleam.

“...Elkan,” she breathed out, eyes widening as she gazed at the page, mind exploding as Asaya came to the same realization. “Your power is—”

“Don’t. Don’t say it,” Asaya warned, stepping closer into Nemara’s space to cause her to stumble back another step, but her mind had already come to know.

“I can’t believe it. Asaya, I can’t believe it,” she gasped, staring at her old friend in incredulousness as her mouth kept moving on its own, unable to stop digging her own grave. “That’s an amazing power, and it suits you so well. It really represents your core… I think it’s perfect for you,” she breathed out, heart thundering in her chest as she remembered all of those books Asaya had written and read to her, all of those characters she’d created simply from the expanses of her beautiful, immaculate mind.

Of course her power had something to do with her writing. Elkan was one of her characters, wasn’t he? So she could pull stuff out of her books. Nemara felt that was absolutely breathtaking, and she couldn’t help the way her thoughts gushed over Asaya’s skill. She might’ve won their match in the arena, but with a power like that, it was only a matter of time before she was beaten. And Nemara would welcome it, because she loved seeing Asaya shine, and this was just so wonderfully amazing and—

And bad. Right. Asaya didn’t want anyone to know what her power was. Nemara froze at that thought, Asaya’s pissed off glared full of deep-seated rage and resentment piercing her heart like thorns.

“What can I do… to make you keep it a secret?” Asaya spoke slowly, voice calculated and grim, like she was thinking of murdering Nemara had she decided to go and tell everyone right away.

But... that had never crossed her mind. Nemara might not understand why Asaya wanted to keep the details of her magic a secret, considering she’d always loved flaunting herself as a kid, but she respected her and would do as she wanted. Yet… Asaya didn’t seem to have that kind of trust in her anymore. Which, that hurt, but, when she thought about it… “You’re giving me a choice?” she clarified, Asaya’s glare deepening at such a statement.

“Yes. To be clear, I don’t trust you, so I’m going to make this a contract,” she reiterated, Nemara’s heart slowly calming.

“Ah, right. A contract. Good idea,” she smiled slightly, brain working fast. This was perfect. “Then, in exchange for me not telling everyone what your magic is, I want you to reserve a day for me each month so we can hang out.”

Ahh, maybe she should’ve asked for more than that. She really wanted to spend more time with Asaya, but since they clearly needed time to heal their relationship first, Nemara had figured it’d be best to take small steps. Still, she couldn’t help the way she gleamed in satisfaction as Asaya gaped at her, glad she’d at least managed to haggle a few days of the year from her. With this, she’d definitely be able to mend things.

But Asaya simply couldn’t believe it. Really? That’s all she wanted? There was plenty more she could do, but all Nemara wanted was her time? Didn’t she remember that Asaya was rich? I mean, it was her father’s money, but he’d practically handed over half of his fortune to her before he disappeared to go do who knows what. But all Nemara wanted was to spend time with her one day a month?

“Are you stupid?” she blurted, but Nemara’s tiny, proud smile didn’t fade.

“Not at all. Don’t you want me to keep your secret?”

“...you’ve lost it,” Asaya spat indignantly, carefully ripping out a page from one of her excess books as she sloppily wrote down the contents in messy, careless handwriting. And Nemara watched happily, practically buzzing with the way she glowed as Asaya tried her best to ignore it.

“When should we meet up first?” Nemara prompted the moment both of their names were signed, Asaya still staring at her in disbelief as she shoved the contract into one of her bags.

She really didn’t want to do this. No, she wanted to keep avoiding Nemara as best as possible. She didn’t want to give her any more of her time. But… it was just once a month. And no one said she had to be attentive. She could just be in the same room and ignore her the whole time. So, thinking just that, she turned away from Nemara, spitting out a final answer to dismiss her, “Last day of the month. Now leave me alone.”

“...mm, that’ll be a little while. But okay, that works. I’ll see you then,” she smiled softly, and Asaya hated how genuinely satisfied her expression looked as she made a sour face.

Seriously, had Nemara lost it? She was always calculating and logical, so had it been four years ago, she would’ve milked Asaya for all she was worth to get her to keep that secret. Of course, Asaya had never been the target of that herself, but she’d seen it happen to others on many different occasions. The fact was, Nemara was good at blackmailing people, so she'd been expecting something different.

Why was Nemara so keen on being friends now, now that it was far too late? If she’d been this desperate on keeping things between them, why hadn’t she checked on her at all during those fear years of isolation? Hadn’t she been worried? This outstretched hand was far too late, and yet there it stood regardless.

Asaya knew she shouldn’t take it. It was a bad idea. If Nemara had left her so easily once, it would happen again. And yet, all those years… those golden years of her life… they felt so tempting to reach for, to maybe get them back… but was it really okay to reach, without knowing what had stopped that hand from reaching out when she'd needed it most?