Chapter 31 - "It will be okay."

Courtney had to admit that time traveling was a weird experience. It was weird in two different ways. The first being she visited memories but saw it all from the opposite perspective. Second, she hadn't imagined time traveling while laying on the floor of the Council room.

But there she was, time-traveling without moving. And there she remained lost in the past six months, seeing it all with new eyes. Not her eyes but Aiden's.

"I thought you were going to be working," Miguel said, peering down at Courtney.

She sighed. She had planned to work for the first mental portion of the time travel and then stop when she had to focus on the physical part, mainly her phone and the messages.

"Time traveling took more mental focus than I thought it would," Courtney said.

"I see," Miguel said, perching on the edge of a table and crossing his arms. "How far did you travel back?"

"Six months."

"Oh. What brought this on?"

Courtney stared up at the ceiling, not seeing the pencil hole dotted tiles but Aiden. The way he couldn't look at her. The way he wiped at his face. The way his voice sounded as he told her he wished it had been him.

"Aiden talked to me," she said.

"Ah and that's why you're time traveling. Do the memories look different with the new filter?"

As did the messages and social media posts.

"Yeah, they do."

"What are you going to do?"

What was she going to do? That question had played like a bad soundtrack in her mind for the past hour. But hearing Miguel ask it out loud gave it a new tone, one that made the answer clear.

"Are you still on good terms with the lunch lady?" she asked.

"If by 'good terms' you mean she looks on me like her lost son and gives me free breakfast churros then yes, I am."

"Okay, I need the help of your lost mother then."

Fifteen minutes, a lot of smiles, wheedling words, and one hug later, Courtney was in place. That place was specifically sitting on the tailgate of Aiden's truck with a small cooler nestled behind her.

"Good luck," Miguel said. "I don't know what you wish the outcome to be so I hope that sentiment suffices."

"Thanks."

Miguel nodded to her once with the solemnity of a fellow soldier parting with his comrade for the last time. A little too dramatic, Miguel tone it down or I'm going to overthink this entire thing.

He left and in doing so, left Courtney with an empty parking lot, a dimming sun, a refreshing breeze, and in a motionless pose that contradicted her thoughts that twisted and turned like a bee on speed.

The melody of girls' laughter drifted from the school and Courtney instantly smiled at the sound. Despite how exhausting cheer practice could be, when the team left the locker rooms they still managed to joke with each other.

Courtney tried to hold onto her smile but found the distance between her and the laughter made it difficult. She looked down and swung her legs, watching as her brace appeared and disappeared underneath the tailgate.

Nope. Not the time.

She raised her head and tilted it back, closing her eyes and feeling the sunlight that had respectfully toned down its fury for the late afternoon. Which was convenient since she didn't want to be half melted by the time Aiden showed up.

"This is a familiar sight," Lynn said.

Oh! Someone to talk to and not myself. Relief!

Lynn rested her arms on the edge of the tailgate and looked to the football field. It had emptied five minutes ago and Courtney knew Aiden would arrive soon. The thought made her stomach squirm in anticipation. And it was definitely a squirm and not wiggle, wiggle at least could be seen as positive to some people but Courtney's stomach squirmed.

"What happened over lunch?" Lynn asked.

"He talked to me and I realized I was right, I messed up," Courtney said.

"What are you going to do?"

"What I can."

Vague, extremely vague but Lynn only nodded in acceptance. Courtney appreciated that her friend didn't push for more details. If she had to give more details than that she might use them all up before Aiden arrived.

"Do you want me to wait with you until he shows up?" she asked.

Courtney could have hugged her! But getting down with her ankle and then having to get back up would be a hassle that would make the hug almost null and avoid.

"Yeah."

Lynn smiled and gaze back towards the school.

"Are you going to campaign for Homecoming Queen?" she asked.

New topic, Lynn you really are a girl's best friend.

"I honestly haven't thought about it," Courtney said. "What about you?"

"I don't think so. Working on the last campaign was a lot of work."

Work that had been all in vain. And if history repeated itself, like it was aught to do sometimes like a jerk, Lynn would only end up losing to Courtney. Like she did for Class President, Cheer Captain, and Junior Prom Queen.

That was enough to make anyone not only give up the campaign but be resentful. Yet, she doesn't seem resentful.

"You understand I didn't expect to win," Courtney said, regretfully.

Lynn straightened, looked at her, and then laughed. "I know. I'm glad you won."

"You are? But all that work."

Carelessly, Lynn waved her hand like all the time and effort were a thing of the past. Though technically that's exactly what they were.

"I know but having to be cheer captain these last couple of weeks has made me realize I'm not cut out to be a leader. I know that's who both my parents are and they want that for me but..." She sighed. "It's not who I am. I get stressed with so many people staring at me, waiting for directions. I can handle cheer because I know everyone and what I'm doing. But beyond that?"

She shuddered. "I'm really glad people like you more. You're a better fit." She flipped her hair. "Besides, I make a great co-captain and right-hand man."

Courtney grinned and high-fived her. "Indeed. I would be a poor leader without you."

"No, you wouldn't but thanks for saying so."

A swell of male voices rose from the school and both girls glanced over, seeing the wave of players exiting the grounds. Courtney focused back on Lynn.

"I'm not joking, I can be a good leader because I have you."

"Then it's an honor, Mr. Washington."

"A privilege, Mr. Hamitlon."

They grinned at each other as the team arrived and started breaking apart as they headed towards their cars.

"Cory, why do I never find you waiting for me at my car?" Kyle shouted at her.

"Because," Lynn yelled. "You're a horse's a-"

"Because," Courtney cut in. "I don't like you nearly as much as you expect me to."

The players around Kyle laughed and gave him sympathetic and slightly mocking pats on the back. Aiden alone didn't react, his gaze settled on Courtney. She couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling, his expression was purposefully blank.

If he were annoyed to see her, well that would be understandable but she didn't think he was. She hoped he wasn't, she still had a lot to say. Her stomach squirmed again.

"I hope it goes well," Lynn whispered to Courtney. "Text me afterward."

"I will."

Lynn crossed over to Aiden and smushed his face between her hands. "You're fine, life isn't over."

Among his squashed features, Courtney spotted a hint of a smile. Courtney almost wished Lynn would do that for her because sitting on the back of Aiden's truck, about to talk to him, she felt the sudden urge to flee. And with her ankle, it would be an embarrassing sight. But even that sight might be less painful than facing him.

Lynn let go of Aiden and waved to Courtney.

"Washington," she said, saluting.

"Hamilton," Courtney replied.

Taking a slow breath, Courtney focused on Aiden. No longer completely made of stone, that's something.

"Do you have a minute?" she asked. "If not, you might have to drive away with me like this because it will take me at least a minute to get down."

Aiden nodded but didn't smile at all at her joke. Levity, why isn't the levity making anything better? Will you please stop squirming stomach, you're going to make me sick! Deep breath.

After tossing his duffle bag into his backseat, Aiden climbed into the tailgate. He settled down next to her, leaving enough space between them that Courtney's stomach squirmed again.

Say something, idiot. Try another bad joke. Fill the silence with something besides intense awkwardness, car engines, and a strange mix of music tastes.

Courtney held onto the edge of the truck and glanced at Aiden, he sat staring down at his clasped hands. One by one the cars left, the silence emptied and Courtney still said nothing.

When Aiden tossed her a look with a tinge of curiosity, Courtney straightened.

"I brought this for you," she said, snatching the cooler and opening it.

Inside were two cartons of milk among a packet of ice, two large cookies, and one cup.

"I know this is your favorite snack," she said, hurriedly opening one of the cartons and pouring the milk into the cup. She handed it to him, along with one of the cookies.

Aiden relaxed a fraction. A tiny smile, I'll take it.

Aiden broke the cookie into pieces and started eating. Apology gift accepted, this is step forward people! We can do this. Totally and completely, we can do this. It's totally fine and not terrifying.

"So," Aiden said. "Are we going to just sit here in silence?"

That was the current plan since all words have fled, an action that was contemplated earlier but you know, ankle.

"No," Courtney said.

She locked her fingers and bounced them on her leg. Aiden looked from her hands to her face.

"Are you nervous?" he asked.

"No."

He raised his eyebrows skeptically. Courtney had to admit eyebrows were very versatile. After all, they were only strips of hair on a person's face, how could they portray so much. It really was-

"Yeah," Courtney said. "A little. Everything you said at lunch..."

Aiden went back to eating his cookie and taking in the empty parking lot. "You can forget about it."

"Not possible, I already time traveled."

Aiden stopped the cup halfway to his mouth. "What?"

Right, we don't share a psychic link like Miguel and me.

"I mean after what you said, I thought about everything. About us."

With a nod, Aiden finished drinking his milk and reached for the second cookie. After four years of being friends, and six months of dating Courtney would have said she knew everything there was to know about Aiden. But sitting next to him, she wasn't sure he'd ever been more of a mystery to her.

"And?" Aiden asked, evenly.

You can do this, Courtney. Don't think, just breathe, just go for it.

Courtney pivoted, so she faced Aiden. "Do you remember what you said to me when you asked me out?"

"I think it was will you go out with me."

Deep breath, you got this. Not really but can't turn back, you already used Miguel to get milk and cookies, you're committed.

"You told me that I was the happiest person you'd ever met," she said. Deep breath, keep going. "And I realized, I held myself back because I was scared that if I ever stopped being that happy person with you, you wouldn't like me anymore."

Aiden held her gaze and Courtney resisted to the urge flee again. Thousands of hours had been spent looking into his eyes but in that minute, she finally felt they connected.

"You thought I'd stop liking you if you weren't happy?" he asked.

Be real. You can do this.

"Yes."

"But why?"

Oh, you know a vast history of having days where I didn't smile and being pelted with questions of what's wrong? Where'd your smile go? What's going on? Are you okay, you're not smiling? Where's our sunshine gone?

Where'd our happy Cory go?

All for the lack of a smile.

"Because that's why people generally like me," Courtney said. "I'm the sunshine girl."

"That's not all you are, you know."

"No. But it's the part people like the most." She shrugged. "It's why you liked me."

At this, Aiden dropped his gaze. Not refuting it since he'd already admitted it earlier.

They sat there, neither of them looking at each other. Courtney closed her eyes and tilted her head back, smiling slightly at the breeze as it sauntered by. Her stomach no longer squirmed.

"I wanted to know more," Aiden finally said.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize it then and let you know more."

"I'm sorry I made you think you had to always be happy."

They sat there, eyes locked, seeing everything clearly.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Why is it different with him?"

Him. Micah. Where to start? Where to end? Courtney lowered her gaze to the cement and swung her legs, watching her braced ankle. Sitting by the guy who started it all and staring at the thing that made it continue.

"It's because when we officially met, he saw me at my worst. He saw me right after you broke up with me." Aiden winced. "And he was right there when I twisted my ankle. Trying to be the always happy person with him didn't make sense."

Aiden nodded but didn't respond. Courtney went back to watching her ankle swing. Three weeks. It had only been three weeks since it all happened. How strange that life could change so quickly.

"Thanks for... For being honest with me," Aiden said.

"You were honest with me first."

He gave her a tiny smile but sobered when his eyes drifted to her ankle.

"If I asked you a question would you be honest with me again?" he asked.

"I don't know, I can come up with some very creative and witty lies."

He chuckled and Courtney felt like the last piece of uncertainty between them melted away.

"I know but for this time, I want some boring truth."

"Okay."

"How are you doing?" he asked.

Oh, really wish he'd accept a witty lie. Okay. Be real, be real. Courtney took a deep breath. Which she seemed to be doing a lot of today, breathing. Not that she didn't normally breathe but today she seemed to do it an excessive amount. And breathing was a good thing. She'd read an article about how breathing was important for a long life and-

Be real.

Be real.

"I'm terrified," she said quietly. "I'm terrified that my ankle won't be the same. That my cheer career is over. That the next time I go to do a stunt I'll freeze and won't trust myself. I'm scared that something that's been such a big part of life will be gone." She swallowed and gripped the edge of the tailgate. "So yeah, I'm terrified."

Courtney forced a chuckle. "I bet you want that witty lie now, don't you?"

Aiden took Courtney's hand and squeezed it gently.

"Even if it does happen like that," he said, ignoring her joke. "It won't change who you are."

"Yes, but I'll no longer be able to look cute in a cheer uniform, which is the highlight of my life."

He squeezed her hand again. "It will be okay."

Courtney gripped his hand. "Promise?"

"Promise."

"If that promise is broken, I'm coming for you."

Aiden grinned. "Deal."

Courtney released her fingers and it took Aiden a second to let go of her hand. He picked up the remainder of his cookie and broke it in two, giving Courtney a half.

"I take it that this means you don't hate me," she said, holding up the peace offering, hoping it was an official peace offering.

"I could never hate you, Cory," he said. "Who can hate the girl who brings you milk and cookies?"

"You still could."

Aiden shrugged this away and finished off his cookie. The descending sun outlined school buildings, a polite but solid acknowledgment of how much time had passed. Before Courtney could make a comment about heading home, Aiden spoke.

"So...you and Micah?" he asked, throwing her a look.

Who knew looks could be thrown? Seems a little unfortunate for them. What did they ever do to deserve such poor handling?

"Do you really want to know that answer?" she asked.

"I honestly don't know." Aiden scratched the back of his neck. "I don't know if it will make me hate him or myself."

"You don't need to do either, as far as I can tell there's Micah and someone else. The someone else not being me."

"But you wish it were."

"I wish for a lot of things. Doesn't make those wishes mean anything. Like for the color Kelly green to never be worn again. For beaches to be less sandy but still be a beach. For the perfect shade of orange that doesn't wash me out. For world peace. Normal wishes."

"I guess that's my question answered."

He hopped down from the tailgate and stood before her, holding out his arms. Without thinking, she settled her arms on his shoulders and he took her waist, helping her to the ground. As she gently set her braced foot down, Aiden grabbed her crutches.

"Thank you for the milk and cookies," he said.

"It was the least I could do."

Aiden stood before her and she could see so much in his expression. All of it surrounded her. With one hand, she cupped his face and kissed his cheek.

"I'm sorry, Aiden."

"Yeah, me too."

Courtney walked away but didn't hear any sounds of Aiden closing the tailgate or climbing into his car. He was watching her go.

But by the time she reached her car and looked back, Aiden had disappeared into his car and she heard the engine. Loading her crutches into the back, Courtney stepped into her driver's seat and leaned her head back against the headrest.

She stared out the window at the wispy clouds that slowly drifted across the sky. She didn't move and surprisingly, she didn't think. The clouds and their slow parade were all that filled her mind.

The ding of her phone finally broke her from her mindless state.

Micah:

I wanted to tell you this in person but I didn't see you at lunch.

Thank you for what you said yesterday

Courtney:

You're welcome

But don't tell me that what I said fixed all the insecurities you have around your brother.

It was only one conversation against four years

Still, you should remember you are a wonderful person in your own right

and the right type of people will see that

Micah:

The first conversation didn't fix it

But that last bit might have

Courtney:

Well that's okay

This is the second conversation

so all your insecurities can

be gone now

Micah:

I'm glad it turned out to be so efficient

Courtney:

If it had been in person I

probably could have helped

you solve world hunger as well

I almost expected to find you

waiting at my house

Micah:

I did but after forty minutes I had to leave to pick up my brother

Also, I did have to drop off the survey packet your dad gave me yesterday

Courtney:

You spent the whole time

with him, didn't you?

Micah:

Yup

Courtney:

Best friends now?

Micah:

Yeah, we're going to have lunch together later this week

Courtney:

He's always stealing

my friends from me

This is what comes from having

an interesting father

Courtney saw Micah typing but a new message popped up and at the sight of exclamation points, she clicked over to Lynn's message.

Lynn:

Cory!!!!!!!

Please tell me you are both alive?

Courtney:

What type of conversation did you think we were having?

Lynn:

I don't know, it's been an hour and I hadn't heard from either of you.

I was worried

Courtney:

Aiden wouldn't kill me

Lynn:

I was worried for him

Courtney:

I'm not that violent.

You're thinking of Rosa.

Lynn:

Right. Just tell me, did it go okay?

Courtney:

Yeah it did.

We're gonna be okay.

Lynn:

Thank goodness I thought I have going to have to pick sides or something

Courtney:

And obviously it would be him

Lynn:

Girl don't lie

You know it's you.

Do you want to do C&C?

My parents are working late again.

Courtney:

Sure

I'll work on your dress

while we watch

Lynn:

Okay

I'll pick up something to eat and head over

Courtney:

Kay

Micah:

I might be your dad's friend but that doesn't change that I'm yours top

Here's proof

Do you need me to come over and make approving comments

while you working on Lynn's dress because I think I could manage that

Courtney let out a low groan and hit her head on her steering wheel. One minute, one minute before and she could have said yes. She moaned again. How terrible am I if I cancel with Lynn for the sake of seeing Micah?

Oh jeez, did I really just think that?

Courtney looked at Lynn's message again and focused on the mention of her parents working late again.

Courtney:

I like the offer but can I have a raincheck on that?

Micah:

Sure

Courtney:

Thanks

I'll see you tomorrow

Micah:

I hope so

Courtney read the words over again and smiled. Then she laid her head on the steering wheel and growled in frustration. This was so not good.

**********************************************************************

Flying fountains!

(Sometimes I don't even know anymore. What is that supposed to mean and why did I use it as a greeting. Jeez, I've really gone off the edge)

Thoughts! Pour them out to me. Be rhapsodic about all that has happened. Disclose your inner most feelings of the chapter! 🗯💬💭😯

Not going to lie, I like Aiden now. I mean how can I hate him. He handled everything with a level head and let's face it, that's the best type of head to have. The unleveled ones always come off lopsided. But who knew he had such a pretty head...

(Yeah,  I just walk on these paths and they lead me the weirdest places. I should get a new map)

Also why am I a path when I should be in the middle of the ocean on a ship that's sailing. Though it's like half sailing. It is on Cory's side, where Micah is in the endless sea well that's yet to be seen.

Question to Ev_gyu (that you should answer too): Your house is on fire, what is the first thing you run to protect? (Besides family and pets. What's the object you reach for?)

Moi's answer: My computer. All my stories are there and if I lost that well that would be devastating.

वोट दे, व्यंग, अनुसरण (Maithili)