Beautiful Fiend: Chapter 4

“Billie! What the fuck is that?” My heart jumps as my dad’s angry voice pierces through my headphones.

It’s not his shouting that scares me; it’s that I feel like I’ve been caught doing something wrong even though no one’s seen me. I leave Caden’s Instagram and get over the fact that no one caught me stalking, it’s just my dad wanting to talk to me.

I jump off my twin-size bed and walk to the living room. He’s in his usual armchair while Emma is watching TV on the sofa. His bushy eyebrows are furrowed as he looks down at his phone. My heart drops instantly. Did Caden release the video? It’s five p.m. I don’t have to meet him until nine. Why would he do this? Maybe he was just fucking with me yesterday and was planning to release the video no matter what.

My dad looks up, hot anger emanating from him. “Why is Lik telling me you haven’t been attending any of your college classes?”

The fucking snitch. I roll my eyes as my shoulders relax and let out a sigh of relief. “I’ve been busy,” I tell him.

“Busy?” he snorts. “What could you possibly be busy with since you’ve stopped working for me so you could pursue your ‘dream’ career.”

Fuck I hate when he’s like this. “I wasn’t ‘working for you’, Dad. I was dealing drugs for NSC.”

“I am NSC,” he snaps back. He just can’t get over the fact that he’s old and can’t be our leader anymore.

“Sure,” I nod. “And I’m sure it must be horrible that your daughter decided to give a real career a chance rather than work for your gang. I can’t risk being arrested and missing a fight. This is important to me.”

“Fighting is not an actual career. You will never make money out of it. Your real career will come once you go to college and graduate and find a goddamn job. In the meantime, you’re bleeding me dry for no reason.”

“I don’t have any use going to college,” I argue back. “My time is better spent at the boxing gym.”

“Look, pumpkin,” he huffs, running a hand through his beard. “I don’t care that you don’t work for me anymore. Of course, I prefer you not to be involved. Of course, I don’t want you arrested. But your sister didn’t go to college so that you could.”

“I never asked for that!” I defend myself. “That was your decision, not mine.”

“Billie.” His stern voice stops me from fighting any harder. “We lose money daily to try and give you a chance at life. That shit costs me three grand a year. Do you have any idea how hard it is for us to try and make that work? Don’t be ungrateful. Just show up to classes and try your best.”

Three grand. We’re one of the cheapest community colleges in the U.S., I get the most affordable fee since it’s my district. And yet we can barely afford it. I never even asked to go; they all forced me to.

Keeping quiet, I simply nod. Emma gives me an apologetic, tight-lipped smile before her eyes go back to her phone. Her face falls.

“Fuck!” she snaps.

“What?” I ask automatically as I head over to her. Something bad happened, and I can only hope that no one I care about is hurt.

Emma puts her thumb between her teeth, biting the acrylic nail extension. “Crook’s dead.”

“What?” I gasp as I look at her screen.

“Don’t look,” she grunts, pulling her phone away and giving it to my dad instead. But I saw the picture that was sent to her.

Crook is one of Emma’s close guys. He usually takes illegal bets on anything across town, but a couple of weeks ago, she sent him to spy on the Kings. They’ve been stealing people from our crew anyway, so it wasn’t weird to them that Crook switched sides.

It seems they caught him reporting to us.

In the picture, his tongue was cut out and stapled to his naked chest. They bashed his head in so much that his nose was flat and caved inside his skull. He was in a pool of his own blood, and I’m sure the bullet to his forehead came after they tortured him. I know who did it because, right under his tongue, someone carved a massive crown on his chest.

Caden’s signature.

My dad’s eyes narrow on the phone as he reads out loud. “This is what happens to snitches. I shot him in case, but he opted for the coward’s way to go.”

“Fuck,” I huff.

The Kings are vicious. They pride themselves on killing people from fear. They torture them so much that their heart gives out. And they call that the coward’s way to go.

“Caden King gets more dangerous and unpredictable by the minute,” Emma says low. “He’s out of control.”

My dad runs his big hand across his face. “I told you it was a mistake to send Crook.”

Instead of acknowledging the criticism, Emma answers without an ounce of emotion in her voice. “We’ll lay low for a bit. Let Caden calm down. Then we’ll strike again.”

“That’s not a good idea,” I jump in.

“You said you didn’t want any part in this,” she hisses at me. “Go to your fucking room and let the adults handle it.”

Narrowing my eyes at her, I swallow the fact that she just threw my own words in my face and stride back to my room.

At nine p.m. on the dot, I am parked on the street, just opposite Sawyer’s house. Caden was right; no one bothered me. Some guys looked a little too closely for my taste when I was stopped at a traffic light, but they backed away as soon as they saw it was me. I guess I’m more or less safe from the Kings. As long as Caden decides so. Still, it’s fucking terrifying to be here when I know what he did to Crook not even twenty-four hours ago.

My phone beeps at 9:01.

I speed-type to reply as quickly as I can.

Great. He doesn’t even bother coming to me. Walking to Sawyer’s house feels the same as heading to a death sentence. My hand trembles when I knock on the door, and I force myself to calm down. This is going to be okay. I just need to do a drive for him. I don’t even have to look at what’s in the trunk.

I slip two fingers beneath the chain around my neck and rub it to bring me peace.

You’re going to be okay.

No one answers, so I push the door open and walk right into their living room. My stomach tightens with fear when I remember the last time I was here. I hurry, walking straight into the kitchen, and face the people in front of me.

Sawyer, whom I know from the many times he had fights with my stepbrothers, is leaning against the kitchen counter, sharpening a knife, and staring at me as I placate myself against the door I just closed. He watches me as my eyes stay stuck on the knife.

“I’m about to cut some meat,” he says with a voice that makes me wonder if I’m the meat.

Caden is sitting at one end of the table, and his older sister Kay is across from him.

Fucking. Kay.

She cocks an eyebrow at me as she gets up from her chair and walks to me. To say we have a complicated history would be the understatement of the year.

When I was thirteen, and she was seventeen, Kay and her girls found me after school and forced me to go to their side of the town. Once we were away from everyone, they beat the shit out of me, leaving me for dead. I was in the hospital for weeks, bleeding my dad’s money dry. I still have a long scar on my left forearm from the surgery after she broke my arm and one just below my right ear from when she beat me repeatedly with a knuckle duster.

That wasn’t even the worst part. They did it because of some guy my sister, Emma, and her were fighting over. It wasn’t even something I was involved in or that I could have controlled. I was barely a teen, small and defenseless, and there were three of them. I loathe this woman more than any other.

The only good thing that came out of it was that I started boxing after that, promising myself I would never be weak again. Now I wish she’d try and find me when I’m alone. Just to beat the shit out of her and leave her for dead. Just to give her a taste of what it’s like to be the girl who can’t defend herself.

I’m terrified of every single person in this room, but I’ll die before letting Kayla King think she can intimidate me ever again in my life.

I push away from the door and meet her before she gets to me. She’s pretty tall compared to me, yet I glare up at her with all the hate I have for her. I cross my arms at my chest, attempting to make myself more threatening, and wait for her to say something.

She puts a hand on her hip and tilts her head, her hair flowing to the side. It’s black like Caden’s.

“Isn’t it so comical that you will be working for the Kings? I bet I’m the person you hate the most in this town.” She bends down slightly, her hands on her knees, pretending she’s talking to a child. “I bet you can still taste blood from that time we kicked your skinny ass. Now look at you, doing jobs for me.”

I can’t control myself. Despite knowing I shouldn’t fight outside of the gym, that I shouldn’t risk hurting myself and especially my hands, I shove her hard. She’s forced to take a few steps back and before she can react, I swing. My fist connects with her cheek in a loud smack of flesh upon flesh, and she falls to the floor with a loud grunt.

Sawyer and Caden are on us the next second. The former helps Kay get back up as she screams something about me being a cunt, and Caden grabs me by the waist in a bear-like hold, lifting me until my feet can’t touch the floor.

I fight in his hold, scratching his forearms. “Bitch, talk to me again!” I scream at her. “I dare you. Open your fucking mouth so I can end you.” I wriggle in Caden’s arms. He’s laughing behind me, making fun of my outburst. “Let me go!” I rage. “I ain’t doing shit for you!”

“You’re a real tiger, little Scott, aren’t you?” he keeps teasing.

“You’re fucking dead,” Kay shouts at me. She spits blood on the floor then comes for me. Sawyer lets her, an amused smile plastered to his face.

Before she can reach me, Caden puts me down and pushes me to one side before extending an arm to Kay, putting himself between us.

“No one’s dying tonight,” he says more seriously.

She slaps his hand away and tries to go for me again. Good, I try to push past him, but he grabs my upper arm tightly then pushes Kay back softly.

“Back off. This is my first and only warning. The girl works for me. You’re not fighting with her.”

“She works for us, and only if I decide so,” she seethes.

“Fucking drop it, Kay.” His voice turns a degree of cold that makes me shiver. His sister seems to notice too, because she takes a step back.

“Alright,” Sawyer cackles to ease the tension. “No need to let out your nasty side, Cade.”

Caden runs a hand through his messy hair and tightens his grip on me. Sawyer and Kay’s reactions make me wonder why I’m not the only one afraid of his ‘nasty’ side. Do they know it too? Are they scared of him?

“So,” Sawyer announces as he grabs his kitchen knife again. He removes a big rack of ribs from the fridge and smacks it on a wooden chopping board. He starts cutting in between the bloody ribs, making my stomach twist with disgust. “Take a seat, Billie.”

His hand still wrapped around my arm, Caden guides me to the table and pulls a chair out for me. It’s not until I’m sat that he lets me go to take back his seat at the head of the table.

Kay sits back down in her initial place, across from Caden at the other end. I have Caden on my right, Kay on my left, and I’m facing Sawyer’s back as he chops ribs on the kitchen counter.

“Are you ready to work for us?” Sawyer asks without turning around.

“Doesn’t work include some kind of money or reward?” I say calmly.

He chuckles to himself and shakes his head. Turning around, he points the knife at me. “I guess your reward will be the entire town not knowing how sweet your moans sound when Cade has his head between your legs.”

I feel the blood draining from my face as my heart accelerates. I turn to Caden, my lip curling as I wonder if he truly showed the video to Sawyer. And if so, how many other members of the Kings crew have seen it?

As if he can read my mind, Sawyer adds, “Yeah, he showed it to me. I had to make sure we really had something to blackmail you with.” He settles down in front of me and places his hand holding the knife on the table. “Don’t worry. It’s only because he has to run everything past me. Your secret is safe as long as you don’t fuck us over.”

I stay completely silent, starting to suffocate from all of them being so close to me.

“You ain’t gonna fuck us over. Are you, Billie?” he insists.

Under the table, Caden kicks my leg, spurting me into replying.

“No,” I seethe.

In an unrealistically quick movement, Sawyer grabs my forearm and slams it on the table. He holds it firmly enough to stop the blood from flowing, and I gasp in fear as he raises his knife above his head. “Because I swear to God, if you fuck us over…”

He swiftly brings the knife down and a piercing scream escapes me, incapable of stopping myself. He stops right above my wrist, the razor-sharp edge barely touching my skin. “I will put you on that kitchen counter and chop your entire body myself. Understood?”

The blood from the ribs drips onto me as my entire body trembles, struggling to believe that he didn’t just cut my hand off my body.

I nod repeatedly, the movement jerky and making me dizzy. Sawyer smiles and finally releases me. I snap my hand back, wiping the meat’s blood against my jeans and hiding my hands below the table.

They all burst into laughter. Sawyer slams his hand on the table and throws his head back as he laughs at me. Kay wipes tears as she says to Caden, “Oh my god, the face she’s making.”

Caden gets up from his chair as they begin to calm down. He settles behind me and lowers himself to talk in my ear. “Come on, little Scott. Let’s get you on the road because I’ll do so much worse to you if I’m not satisfied with your work. I’m a very demanding CEO.”

I barely have time to register his words when Sawyer starts talking again. “Cade will go with you tonight, and tonight only. After that, you’re on your own.”

“After that?” I ask, utterly lost.

“For the other weeks,” Sawyer insists like I’m dumb.

“What other weeks?” I retort. “This is a one-time thing.”

“You honestly think we would go through all this trouble for a one-time thing?” Kay sniggers. “Don’t be stupid.”

I turn in my chair to peer up at Caden. “That’s not what we agreed.”

“Come on, get up. Let’s go.” He doesn’t even deign me with a response.

I want nothing more than to leave this house, so I follow Caden outside quietly. As soon as we’re by my car, I circle back to the problem.

“That’s not what we agreed, Caden,” I rage, finding some of my strength back now that I’m not surrounded by three Kings. “I’m going to do this job for you, and that’s it. You can find another person to blackmail after tonight, because I’m not doing it weekly.”

In a split second, he flips me around and wraps his hand around my throat. My back hits the side of the car as he pushes me. My defenses kick in, and I attempt to knee him in the stomach, but he grabs my leg easily and pushes it back down. When I try to throw a punch, he swats it away like it’s nothing to him. His hand tightens around my throat and the lack of oxygen stops me from trying anything.

“We didn’t agree on anything,” he rumbles low. “You do what I say, and that’s it.”

Both my hands are holding his forearm. It’s strong, veiny, and I can feel he’s holding back his strength even though he’s already hurting me. His fingers on my skin are burning a fire of conflicting emotions I can’t control.

“You need to learn how it works with me, Billie. I order, you obey. Period.”

I can see that he won’t let go until I stop fighting back, that he wants me to agree to his words, to submit. Despite that, I thrash around and fight until I understand there’s no point.

He smirks when I start to lose my strength; when he sees I’m about to give up. I turn manic when my chest heaves and I tap at his forearm rather than attempting to get him off me.

“Put both your hands at your side,” he tells me calmly. “Show me you’re going to listen.”

The lack of oxygen is getting to my head as I feel my vision narrowing. Left with no choice, I let go entirely and allow my arms to fall by my side.

He squeezes a little longer for effect and finally releases me. I gulp in the frigid night air and bring a hand to my chest as it burns my lungs with every intake of breath. He steps back as I hunch over, feeling like I’m going to be sick. When I finally feel like I’m not going to pass out, I straighten up again.

“Anything you’d like to add?” he asks with his mocking grin twisting his mouth.

I shake my head, still too shaken to even talk.

“That’s what I thought. Get in the car.”

I quiver as I turn to the car and get in the driver’s seat. He gets in next to me, and I start the engine.

“Where—”

“I’ll guide you.”

It takes all of me not to retort something.

“What the hell is wrong with your car?” he asks seriously. I shrug, not knowing what he means, and pull out of the parking spot.

“Your light, Billie. Do you not have two working headlights?”

“Oh, that.” I’ve gotten so used to driving with only one working light that it doesn’t strike me as something wrong anymore. “Yeah, it’s broken.”

“You need to get it fixed.”

“I don’t have the money,” I say quietly. Everyone is poor on the North Shore, but it’s always embarrassing to be doing worse than the others.

“Take a right here. Get on the highway toward D.C.,” he indicates. “I know someone who’ll fix it for you. She owes me one. I’ll take you during the week.”

“Right,” I snort. “As if I’d ever leave my car with someone from the Kings’ crew. She’s going to cut off my brakes.”

“I can’t have you giving the cops any excuse to arrest you while driving for me. You’re getting your car fixed.”

“Fucking hell,” I huff. “Your voice makes me want to punch walls, Caden.”

He chuckles, and I can sense his green eyes piercing through the side of my face. I maintain my focus on the road as I pull onto the highway. My hands tighten on the steering wheel, and I check my side mirror before pressing hard on the gas pedal.

“You’re kinda hot when you’re angry and focused.”

“Don’t,” I snap. “Don’t tell me how you find me.”

In my peripheral vision, I feel him relax against the seat and spread his legs comfortably. “Why not?”

My heart beats hard against my ribcage, anxiety enveloping my body like a coat of dread.

“You know why.” I force myself to push the words past the heavy lead in my chest and the dryness of my throat.

“Oh.” He titters to himself before his sick voice perforates any sort of bravery I keep trying to put on. “Because I made you suck my cock.”

A wave of nausea makes me tremble, and I can feel my back spasm.

“I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t find you hot as fuck, little Scott. We’re from rival crews. There was only one thing to do once I got you all alone.”

“What?” I snort sarcastically. “Break me?”

His hand comes to the back of my neck, cold fingers that belong to death itself. “I could do it again, you know? We’re alone in your car. I’m stronger than you. I think you’re quite irresistible in your tight little tank top. I could wrap your ponytail around my fist. I also would really, really, like to see tears in those big doe eyes of yours again.”

“Stop,” I hiss. I try to shrug him off, but I’m driving eighty miles per hour and can’t do any sudden movements.

“I’ve watched those videos so many times. Especially the one where you suck my cock and swallow. Gets me hard every fucking time.”

My throat is so taut I can’t breathe. My chest struggles to expand no matter how hard I try to force oxygen into my lungs.

“Get your hand off me,” I heave. “Stop touching me.”

I’ve spent the last two years battling with myself over what he did to me. The days after it happened, I couldn’t speak or leave my house. I showered enough times a day that my skin was raw and red; it stung. Every time I tried to leave the house, I was too scared to bump into him. Every time my phone chimed, I was petrified the videos were viral.

It took me weeks to find a semblance of normalcy in my own house, but I still couldn’t be out on my own. I’d always tag along with Emma, Xi, or Lik.

The worst thing is, I got so good at hiding it everyone thought I was still strong Billie. The one who kicks ass and doesn’t take shit from anyone. They all thought my passion for MMA made me the toughest they’d ever seen. No one realized that the boxing gym was the only place I could forget about Caden. About the musky scent of his crotch against me. About the choking feeling of his cock down my throat and the sickly taste of his cum on my tongue.

No one knew the boxing ring was the only place I didn’t think of the pleasure he’d forced on me. I didn’t want to come that night. I didn’t want it to feel good. I never hated myself more than when I started associating sucking his dick and having his tongue on me as being things that got me wet.

The two events of that night mixed into the memory of the most earth-shattering orgasm of my life. The fear, the humiliation, the idea of two people watching us and being recorded. The fact that I was forced…it all melted into associating pleasure with a situation that I know traumatized me.

And yet, when Caden is near, when I smell that same marine cologne and the scent of weed and mint, when I hear his mocking laugh and his deadly voice, or when I see his wicked smile…my heart beats strangely. Fear and confusion blend, sickening me.

Instead of lifting his hand off me, he tightens his grip because he’s a sick fuck who gets hard from torturing people.

“Don’t be scared, little Scott.” He massages the back of my neck, and that sick feeling melts into warmth, trailing down my back. “If I wanted to have you again, I wouldn’t have waited two years for it.”

A sense of safety comes over me. That’s true. Caden’s reputation has always preceded him. The sick King. The brutal son who takes pleasure in torturing his enemies. The villain that even criminals like us fear. No one wants to end up face-to-face with Caden. He’s too unpredictable. Too deranged.

I thought he was done, but he keeps going. “See, if I wanted to have your pretty lips wrapped around my dick, I would have followed you after school and cornered you in that narrow alleyway you take to go back to your house. I’d have put you on your knees in the dirt, stuck between the wall and me, and fucked your mouth until you passed out. Then I’d have left you there, only for you to wake up alone with my cum dripping down your lips.”

My stomach tightens at the thought, but I keep my eyes on the road and do my best to breathe properly.

“If I wanted to have your pussy, I’d have just broken into your house during the night and covered your mouth with my hand while I ripped your pajamas off your little body and bent you in half to fuck that tight cunt.”

He finally lets go of my neck and points to the exit I should take. “But see, I didn’t. So you’re safe, baby. As long as you don’t tempt me to hurt you.”

I switch on the indicator and exit the highway, feeling so hot I am genuinely considering rolling the window down.

He’s right, after all. If Caden wanted to hurt me some more, he would have done it long before tonight. If he’d wanted to harm or humiliate me after that night, my avoiding him wouldn’t have changed anything. He would have done it anyway.

He simply didn’t want to.

And for some mysterious reason, it feels oddly disappointing to realize that.