Beautiful Fiend: Chapter 33

Lik releases a loud laugh as Xi’s face falls. We all explode into giggles, following Lik.

“Do you want to fucking die?” Xi snaps as he gets up from his seat. We’re having dinner all together, and Lik just ate the last Moroccan meatball on Xi’s plate while he was in the bathroom. The one Xi said looked the best and that he was saving for the end.

“Ziad,” their mom snaps. “Sit back down. Dinner isn’t over.”

“I’m not leaving the table, Mama. I’m killing your son.”

Our laughs double as Xi tries to grab Lik, and he gets up to go hide behind Aisha.

“Mama, save me,” Lik cries out.

Xi grabs him by the back of the neck and shoves him against the wall. Sam lifts an eyebrow silently, not enjoying his boyfriend being manhandled but unable to get in the middle of a sibling fight.

“You fucked up. Mom can’t save you now.”

“It wasn’t me!” Lik screams. “WAllah, I don’t know what happened. You left, and it just disappeared off your plate.” Emma is crying from laughter as Lik blurts out his lie.

“Malik!” Aisha snaps loudly. “Don’t lie swearing on Allah, ya h’mar,” she calls him a donkey like always. She gets up, taking her time, and grabs both her sons by the ears, dragging them back to the table. One by one, she sits them back down. They don’t do anything to defend themselves. They would never.

As soon as they’re all at the table and settled back down, Xi can’t do much more than stare daggers at his brother. I grab my plate and scoot my meatball onto his.

“Here, have mine. I’m not hungry anymore.”

Stabbing into it with his knife and fork, he keeps staring. “Learn,” he tells Lik. “That’s what love looks like.”

Because I’m sitting on his left, he easily leans over and drops a kiss to the side of my head. It’s a friendly kiss, I know it. A normal peck step-siblings would have. Since I told Xi I didn’t reciprocate his feelings for me, he’s been respecting our platonic relationship—the one we should have had all along.

After dinner, I run to my room to grab my phone and send a quick message to Caden.

He’s hanging out with his friends tonight, which I’m not used to. He always chooses me over anyone else. I’m trying to be okay with the fact that sometimes he’ll be with his friends, and that said friends hate me because I’m NSC.

And because I gave Jade a pathway of tears. I guess that really didn’t help.

He doesn’t reply, and I’m about to put my phone to the side when it rings. An unknown number appears on the screen, and my hand comes to my chain, playing with it as I pick up.

“Hello?”

“This is Sawyer.”

I sit up in my bed and look around my room as if he’s hiding somewhere in here. Whenever this man talks to me, I feel uneasy.

“What do you want?”

“We need you to do a move for us tonight.”

My hand grabs my comforter, twisting it until it’s cutting off the flow in my fingers. “I don’t do moves for you anymore. Caden knows.”

“Well, you’re back at it, sweetheart. Caden’s order.”

“He didn’t say anything to me.”

“He’s busy tonight. He can’t always be on your case. He needs to do things he cares about sometimes. Or do people he cares about,” he adds with a mocking snort.

Caden and I are the closest we’ve ever been. I always feel weird admitting it, even to myself, but he’s my boyfriend. I know how we feel about each other. He told me he loved me in his fucked-up way. He wouldn’t go behind my back and tell Sawyer to contact me.

“I want to talk to him,” I say firmly. “He’s the one who gives me the jobs. Not you.”

“He’s busy, and I’m telling you to pick our shit up from the Wolves in half an hourif you don’t want me to leak your videos. You know Caden sent them to me, little Scott. I’ve seen you naked, on your knees, sucking his cock.Do you want everyone else to see that too? You’re gonna look amazing on porn sites.”

I struggle to swallow the anxiety that comes with his words. I’m so close to leaving this place. Having a fake sex tape of me everywhere would be the end of me.

“Whatever,” I say to minimize the fear. “I’ll be there.”

I tell him that, but I don’t really believe it. Caden wouldn’t do that to me.

“Atta girl,” he concludes before hanging up.

Instead of getting to my car, I try to call Caden. Three times he doesn’t answer. So I send him a text asking if he’s the one who wants me to go move merchandise for them.

No answer.

Fear grips my stomach. Did he really order this? Is he too busy with someone else to even tell me about it, so he sent Sawyer?

I don’t have time to think about this. Sawyer has the videos, and I can’t reach my boyfriend. The only person who could stop this and protect me isn’t getting back to me.

Disappointment is such a small word for how I feel.

Not wanting to take the risk, I grab my car keys and leave the house without anyone noticing. Whatever, I can do a drop and talk to Caden about this tomorrow. I’m sure he’s not with someone else. He’s busy, and there must have been a misunderstanding. Either way, I have to keep Sawyer from sending the videos. I can talk to Caden about deleting them. I know he’ll do it for me.

I speed all the way to the meeting spot, too scared I will be late and accidentally see one of the Wolves providing NSC with whatever they hide in my trunk.

I put the bag on my head, and with everything that’s happened between Caden and myself, it feels like I haven’t done this in years. I have to remind myself it’s only been just over a month since the last time.

My heart starts beating faster. I’m now starting to feel like it’s insane to think Caden could have fallen in love with me in such a short amount of time. But I did, and that’s even more ridiculous.

Was this all a trick? Has he been playing me all this time? That’s what he’s always done with me.

Oh my god.

He has.

Two parts of me are fighting themselves, and the realistic one is starting to win.

How could I think Caden King could fall in love with me?

I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am. I thought what we had was genuine. I don’t know why. Maybe because of the obsession, the possession. He tattooed his name on me, for fuck’s sake. It doesn’t get more irrational than that.

The knock on my window comes quicker than I thought. I must have been profoundly lost in my thoughts to not even realize how long it’d been. I wait until I hear their car leaving and take the bag off. Everything seems foreign to me.

We were past this.

Why is he doing this to me? The threat of the videos had been completely forgotten, and now the wound has been reopened.

It fucking hurts.

I’m on the highway when my phone rings. I see Dickie’s name on the screen. He never calls. Even less in the evening.

“Isn’t it a bit late for a grandpa like you?”

“Here I was thinking you’d want to hear about a second chance in professional MMA. But I guess grandpa is gonna go to bed.”

“What? Dickie, don’t fuck with me.”

“I would never, kiddo. I’m serious.Come to the gym now. We need to talk.”

My eyes automatically go to my mirror even though I can’t see the heavy bags in my trunk.

“I…I’m busy,” I say in a huff. “Doing some work stuff.”

“Billie. Did you hear me or what? This is your chance. Second chance. No one ever gets that lucky.”

I take a deep breath. I can’t let this slip through my fingers. I’m feeling alive for the first time in weeks. I need to hear what Dickie has to say. The Kings and their buyers can wait.

“I’m on my way.”

I practically ran to the gym door. Pushing it open, I walk in and sprint to Dickie’s office.

“Give it to me, old man,” I say with a massive smile on my face.

“Carla Ruppert left the competition,” he answers casually. Leaning back into his old chair.

My heart drops in my stomach, my shoulders deflating. That’s why he made me come here?

“Yeah, but that just means Killer Clover wins by forfeit.”

“That’s the thing. She didn’t forfeit. She gave you her spot.”

“What?” I start pacing, still not convinced this is possible. “She can’t do that.”

“This isn’t professional. We’re talking about an amateur competition organized by a few gyms in a small city. It’s big for you because you could get an agent, but other than that, it doesn’t mean much. There are no solid rules.”

I bite my thumb between my front teeth, pacing quickly and making myself dizzy. “Dickie, am I fighting Killer Clover?”

“In two months, kiddo. Taylor already knows, and he’s coming to see you.”

“Oh my god.” My knees give up as tears of happiness fill up my eyes. I sit on a chair beside him and look up at him. “This is it. Dickie…fuck!” I shout from happiness. “I’m going to win this fight. I’m going professional. I can already see it.”

He smiles at me wisely, knowingly. Then he confirms, “I can see it too, Billie. The universe is on your side, kid.”

He grabs a beer and gives me a small bottle of orange juice. “No alcohol for my best fighter,” he happily teases before opening his beer.

We drink and talk some more about the intense training I’m going to be doing in the next two months. I’m glad Caden convinced me not to give up, or I wouldn’t have trained since my last fight. I would be in deep shit right now.

It’s bittersweet to think that he’s one of the best and worst things that’s ever happened to me.

I leave before Dickie does, and I’m alone in the parking lot when my jaw drops open.

“Fuck!” I hiss to myself as I run to my car. The back window is shattered, and unsurprisingly, the merchandise is gone. “No,” I choke. “No, no, no.”

How much shit does the old man up there still have in store for me? Because I’m not sure I can take it all.

I run my hands through my ponytail, pulling at it before rubbing my eyes. “Come on,” I rage. “This isn’t fucking fair!”

Bad news always follows whatever happiness I’m going through. I just can’t catch a fucking break.

I settle in my car, hoping it still starts because they fucked it up real good. It does, and I notice one of my lights is broken again. The same one Caden had gotten repaired for me.

Back when I truly hated him. When I knew who he was. How could I forget?

Despite hating the guts out of him right now, I grab my phone and try calling him. If anyone can help me out of this situation, it’s him.

“Please, pick up. Please, please…”

“Caden,” his voicemail tells me.

“Caden,” I say into the phone, hurry and panic clear in my tone. “Please call me back. I…I know you wanted me to do this move, but something happened. Please just pick up.”

Tears fill my eyes when I hang up. I send a text.

I try calling again.

“Caden.”

“Caden, you can’t do this to me. I…he’s gonna kill me. Please, pick up.”

As soon as I hang up, I send another desperate text.

I bet he’s looking at his phone next to whoever he’s with right now, laughing his ass off at the stupid NSC girl who fell for him.

I call again.

“Caden.”

“I hate you!” I shout into the phone. “You fucking bastard. I hope you’re having the time of your life. I…how could I have been so stupid! How…I hate you, Caden. I hate you so much for sending me on this job tonight. You could have had the balls to at least ask me yourself, you coward. I hope Sawyer kills me because I can’t stand a life knowing I fell for your stupid shit.”

I hang up, fuming and heartbroken.

And I do the only thing I can.

I drive straight to Sawyer’s. He needs to know. If I disappear, he’ll come for me, or worse, my family.

I’m shaking when I knock on his door.

What am I going to say? What am I going to do?

He’s going to kill me.

How ironic is that? Just when I learn that I have a second shot at leaving this shitty town.

It’s not Sawyer who opens the door, but a man I don’t know.

“Who are you?” he rumbles. I notice the gun in his right hand and regret not arming myself before coming here.

“Billie. I’m here to see Sawyer.”

“Ah, you’re that NSC bitch Cade’s been fucking.”

I grind my teeth, trying to keep myself under control.

“Is Sawyer here?” I insist.

“Yeah, yeah. Come in.”

He steps away from the doorway, but I don’t move. “I’d rather talk to him out here.”

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

It’s like he knows I’ve got news that’ll give them a chance to hurt me. He wants me inside with them. I glance out at the street before walking in. No one is going to save me in Kings’ territory.

What choice do I have?

I follow that guy into the living room. Sawyer is lounging on his sofa in sweatpants and nothing else, a beer in his hand and a couple of empty ones on the table in front of him. His abs tense when he laughs at something on the TV. He’d be so hot if he wasn’t a fucking asshole. Elliot and Ethan are next to him. Caden’s best friends fucking hate me since I hurt Jade.

This is not looking good.

“Yo, Hook,” Sawyer says without looking at us. He runs a hand through his blond hair, laughing again. “You need to watch this shit, man.”

“Someone’s here to see you,” Hook says, settling behind me in a way I know means I’m not getting out of here until he lets me. He feels gigantic behind me, his head well above mine, and I feel myself shrinking when Sawyer’s eyes fall on me.

“Little Scott,” he smiles. “I was starting to get impatient. Was about to start watching your sex tape with everyone here.”

I do my best not to cringe and run a hand behind my neck, massaging the stiff muscles before saying, “The stuff is gone.”

“What stuff?” he asks without giving a shit.

“The,” I hesitate. I was being vague on purpose. I can’t fucking get myself to say it. “The stuff the Wolves put in my car for the move. I—My car got broken into. It’s gone. All of it.”

There’s a tense silence as he puts his beer on the table and slowly gets up.

“Tell me you didn’t lose my merchandise, Billie,” he says quietly as he walks to me.

“It was stolen,” I try to defend weakly. “Look, I’m here, coming to you and being honest. I could have run or killed you or something. I don’t know. I’m here because I want to sort this out fairly. This wasn’t my fault.”

“You lost my shit, but it wasn’t your fault, so you came here?” He fakes a pout before smiling. “Coming here doesn’t make you innocent. It makes you fucking stupid. You should have run, little Scott. Should have given yourself a bit of a head start before I killed you.”

“Sawyer.” I take a step back, only to bump into Hook. “I can make this right.” I look at Elliot and Ethan, talking to them now. They’re still sitting on the sofa, watching the scene silently. “I…is Caden here? Can I talk to him?”

In front of me, Sawyer shakes his head like I’m stupid. Like I don’t get it. “Caden doesn’t give a shit about you. Why can’t you get your head around it?”

He’s so close to me now, I can barely take a breath without my boobs hitting his stomach.

Perfectly timed, a mocking laugh rises in the room. “Please, she’s not actually asking for him, is she?” I don’t have to look behind Sawyer because Jade comes right next to him, proudly showing the hickeys that go from her ear to her chin.

I shake my head, refusing to see what’s right in front of me.

“No,” I mumble, my voice choked down by a sob that’s desperate to come out.

How could he do this to me?

“Come on,” Jade snorts. “Tell me you didn’t think he actually cared.”

The tips of her fingers come across my jaw, where Caden left the same hickeys on me as he did her. “We match,” she smiles wickedly. “Ain’t that fun?”

“Where is he? I want to talk to him.” My attempt at a stern voice doesn’t alarm any of them.

“Cade isn’t here,” Sawyer jumps back in. “But even if he was, he wouldn’t do shit. No one can lock that boy down, little Scott. Everyone knows that.”

“You were the only one stupid enough to get played,” Jade sneers.

“Now, back to my merchandise.” Sawyer’s voice isn’t mocking anymore. It’s deadly.

“I’ll do other jobs,” I whisper desperately, but I don’t know if I care about them killing me anymore.

I fell for Caden when I should have known all along that his aim was to hurt me. My sweaty hands close into fists. My nails dig into my palms, leaving bloody crescents.

“She’ll do other jobs.” Sawyer lets out a loud laugh without an ounce of humor in it. “Oh, man. She’s fucking hilarious.”

His punch comes with no warning. I’m forced to the floor by the strength of it, dizzy and confused.

I inhale a deep breath as I roll onto my side.

“Little bitch thinks we’re gonna go easy on her because Cade used her for a bit.”

I spit blood on the floor, going on all fours to try and get back up, but he kicks me in the ribs, sending me back down again. I grunt, my body crashing down face first.

“Fuck,” I choke as he puts his foot on my back. I can barely breathe.

“What are you gonna offer me now, huh?” He presses hard, crushing my lungs. “The same you did with Caden? A blowjob? Should I film it too?”

“Stop,” I beg. I’m suffocating from the weight he’s putting on my back. I have no strength in me. It’s not the hits, it’s the heartbreak.

I never truly had a will to live, but I had the strength to survive.

It’s all gone now.

“Should we all take a turn on you? Fuck that pussy Cade kept going back to?”

I shake my head, tears welling up in my eyes. I will them not to come, but I feel like I’m dying. This is it. This is how I die.

“You’d need to be a whore for me for years before I get that money back. Put you on the street, in clubs. Sell you to high buyers in the Wolves’ club. That what you want?”

“No,” I cry out. “Please.” I attempt a breath that gets stuck in my lungs. “It wasn—It wasn-t…wasn’t my fault.”

I vaguely hear Elliot’s voice rising. “Sawyer, man. Let her go.”

Instead, he presses harder, and I explode in a loud sob. I need to fucking breathe.

“What are you gonna do for me, little Scott?”

He lifts his foot and grabs me by the ponytail, pulling me back up as I choke on air, trying to regain full consciousness. The house tilts, my eyes rolling to the back of my head as I try to stand up while he drags me across the room.

When he’s got more space, he throws me to the floor again.

“What do you want, Hook? Ass, mouth, or pussy?”

“Pussy,” he answers without hesitation.

Fear grips my entire body. Can’t they just kill me?

I whimper, trying my best to crawl away. Sawyer grabs me by the ankle and drags me back before kicking me again.

“Hey, hey. Stay here. We’ll just fuck the shit out of you, little Scott. Might beat you up a little more to make sure you don’t run away while we take breaks between rounds.”

“Sawyer.” It’s Elliot again. “What are you doing, man? Caden is going to k—”

“Sit your fucking ass down!” he barks at him. Back to me, he drawls, “We’ll let you go in the morning, okay?” He grabs my ponytail again, pulling my head up. “Whatever’s left of you, I guess.”

“No one is fucking touching her,” Jade intervenes. Hope rises to my chest even though Sawyer doesn’t let go of me. “You dogs keep your dicks to yourselves. I have unfinished business with the bitch.”

Sawyer releases me, my head falling to the floor, my muscles giving up on me. With a kick to the ribs, Jade rolls me around until I’m on my back.

“Remember when you left me a pathway for tears?”

My heart kicks so hard in my chest I feel like it’s going to explode at any moment. People can die of fear. The Kings crew pride themselves in their violence. Some of their victims die before they’re even done with them. Caden is the proudest member of what he calls ‘the coward way to go’. A heart attack from fear or pain. When the mind can’t keep up, the heart fails.

Is this my fate?

Jade kicks me in the face. My cheekbone feels like it’s splitting into a million pieces. Blood spurts out of my nose, pouring onto the side of my face.

Then she does it again.

I feel it on my cheek, my lips, my temple. The side of my head.

I can’t do anything while she beats the shit out of me to make sure I don’t escape.

After what feels like ages of Jade beating me up—but must have been less than a minute—I can’t move anymore. I’m stuck on my back, blood pouring down my throat from my nose and my bloody mouth. My face has fallen to the side, my cheek against the floor.

I’m not crying anymore. I have no choice but to accept my situation. I feel Jade straddle me, but I don’t look. I already glanced at the cutter she was holding, and I don’t want to see it again. At best, she will carve a Kings’ crown on my neck. The other option is her cutting an artery.

“You’re gonna love your new scar,” she sneers above me. “You’ve been trying to get under our skin by fucking Caden. Now we’re getting under yours.”

If only she knew how much Caden is already under my skin. How he slithered his way through my veins and poisoned my heart.

I didn’t ask for it, and yet I took it willingly. Every time he hurt me and scared me, I allowed him to steal a part of me and keep it to himself. Every time he stepped over a new line, I followed with excitement in my heart.

He lured me in, kept me to himself, and I begged him to never let me go.

Now I’m paying the price for my stupidity.

My eyes are practically swollen shut from the beating, and I can’t do anything but look to the side where my head has fallen. I feel the cut into my neck. I feel Jade writhing from the pleasure of hurting me and my inability to do anything about it.

I know how it feels because I did it to her.

I can barely feel the pain; everything is mixed into one horrifying numbing feeling. Something catches my eye, though. On the floor, not far from me, are the bags that were in my car.

The exact bags the Wolves put in there and were stolen.

“It was you,” I whisper past my swollen lips. “You set me up…”

They stole the bags, so I would have to come here. So they could attack me.

And I fell for it like the fucking idiot I am.

“Yeah, we did,” she says so effortlessly. “Just to show you how much Cade doesn’t give a shit about you. Where is he now that we got you all to ourselves, huh? He’s not coming to save you. He’s too busy fucking someone else right now.”

I pass out before she’s even finished carving my skin. Maybe I’m dying, I don’t know.

I don’t care anymore.

My shoulder shakes, and my entire body screams in pain.

“Little Scott. Come on.”

This time someone grabs my jaw and turns my head left and right. “You’re not dead, so fucking wake up.”

Slowly, I attempt to open my eyes. They’re swollen, sticky.

I can feel the side of my neck burning, and I bring my hand to it, hissing from the searing pain when I touch the crusted blood.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t touch that if I were you.”

Two hands help me sit up, and I try to open my eyes again. My left one is swollen shut, but the right one seems fine. I look at the person helping me and almost fall back down from shock.

“Ethan?” I rasp.

“Don’t get too excited. I’m just getting you out of here.”

I realize I’m still on Sawyer’s living room floor, but no one else is here anymore.

“They’re sleeping,” he explains as I keep looking around. “You need to leave. They aren’t done with you, and you don’t want to be here when they wake up.”

I let him help me up into a standing position. At least they didn’t break my legs.

Ethan takes me outside, and to my surprise, to his car.

“Come on, get in.”

I look around, but I don’t get in. The last time I saw his car, NSC was riddling it with bullets.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Billie,” he finally says reassuringly. “I don’t like you, but I also don’t think you deserve this. What, because Cade loves you? That’s none of our business.”

He opens the door and invites me to go in with a jerk of his head.

“He doesn’t love me,” I mumble as I settle into the passenger seat.

Ethan is a quiet man, so he doesn’t say anything else during the ride. It doesn’t take too long to get back to my house. The Kings own most streets, and he doesn’t have to take detours to cross the town.

He parks a little down the street, not going quite all the way to my house.

“Are you okay walking the rest?”

I nod, but just as I’m about to open the door, he gently touches my forearm.

“They lied.” At my silence, he adds, “When they said he doesn’t care about you.”

I shake my head, tears burning my eyes and falling down my broken face.

“What they said doesn’t matter. He didn’t come when I called for help. He wasn’t there. That means everything.”

I have hope that he’s going to say something. Defend his friend, tell me there indeed was a reason he wasn’t there tonight.

He’s got nothing else to say. Because I’m right.

“Thank you, Ethan. For getting me out of there. I owe you.”

Owing someone in our world means everything, and when Ethan nods, I know it’s because he will get his favor back one day.

For now, I exit the car and walk to my house.

The sun is attempting to rise behind dark clouds; it must be around six or seven. Rain starts to fall just as I get to my door. When I enter my house, my sister is coming out of the kitchen.

“Fuck, Bil’s!” she gasps, running to me. “Dad!” she calls out.

I’m too exhausted to even explain what happened. For now, I just let my older sister take care of me.

I’ve got nothing but my family. My crew.

I’m back to where I started; broken by the North Shore Kings, only now with heartbreak weighing heavy on me. That hurts much more than any physical wound they could ever cause.