Chapter Two

*Not edited*Not proofread*

Chapter 2— Talk about germs:

When I first left the facility, I apparently spiralled out of control and Jace said I went through some sort of mental breakdown— though I'm not the sort of person that loses my cool, so I don't know how much of that I believe.

He says the psychosis was brought on by the trauma I'd experienced, and when I was finally able to get away I just... lost it. He called it a psychotic episode. He believes it was triggered by the change in my life and the overwhelming emotions I felt all at once after being thrust into a world I had never seen before. Although, Jace isn't a brain doctor, so his assumptions are just that— assumptions.

Either way, after the episode I was fine; to some extent. But there were things that I couldn't remember about my time in the facility. At least not until months, or even years, later. That was apparently another side affect of the trauma. I learned that the brain blocks out certain memories in cases of trauma in attempt to protect itself, and clearly that's what mine had done.

Still to this day I believe there are things that happened in that place that I will never remember. And honestly, I don't want to remember them. Don't care to.

I understand what I was told. Maybe not fully, but I got the basics. Trauma equals brain blocking memories to protect itself.

What I don't understand though, is why the fuck my brain didn't block out the night of the bonfire when that is clearly the most fucking traumatic thing to ever fucking happen to me in my entire fucking life.

My brain obviously isn't as fucking smart as one would think because I remember every excruciating second of the moment Dakota is referring to, and way too fucking clearly. I remember the vivid feel of his body heat against mine and the way his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed. I remember his knuckles against the flaming skin of my cheek and the look in his eyes as he stared at me so intensely.

And then I remember the disgusting touch of his lips as they moved against mine slowly.

Fucking talk about germs.

Although my brain didn't block out the memories, I sure as hell tried to. So up until this exact moment, I hadn't given it a second thought. I didn't want to.

So obviously, clearly, I don't want to fucking talk about it now.

But as Jace likes to say, 'I want's don't get'.

"I'm sorry."

His words surprise me. Out of all of the things I expected him to say, sorry is not one of them.

He's apologising?

"I get that you're mad at me for what happened. I shouldn't have kissed you without your permission," he rubs at the back of his neck as he slows down next to me, gradually coming to a stop. "But the way you were looking at me," he looks away, his eyes gazing into the direction we've just come from. "I couldn't fucking stop myself."

I feel uncomfortable with the conversation— extremely fucking uncomfortable— but walking away doesn't seem appropriate right now. So I stay.

"And not only that, but I shouldn't have left you like that either." He turns his head back to look at me once again, his blue eyes barely visible in the dark. "I didn't want to leave you, trust me. But Zoe isn't like you. If something were to have happened to her... she wouldn't have been able to defend herself."

All I really get from that part of his explanation is that he thinks I'm a bad bitch and Zoe isn't.

"Forgive me?"

My eyes roll at the slight panic on his face, like he's worried that I'd be mad at him forever. But I'm not mad. Not at him.

"As long as we don't talk about this ever again."

"What—." As I turn my head to avoid his eyes, my torch shines on an object on the floor that sparkles when the light hits it. I frown in confusion before moving my torch away from the object for a few seconds before shining it back in the same spot.

The item twinkles again.

I push past Dakota who is still talking, though I have no clue what about, and walk towards the glowing area with quick movements. Dakota calls out behind me but I only really pick up on the tone of his voice rather than his words as I crouch down to the floor.

Covered in the dirt of the ground and small, thin, string-like twigs, is the sparkling silver charm bracelet that I've seen adorn Lilah's wrist on a daily basis.

She never takes it off.

Gently, I take the jewellery in my fingers and bring it closer to my face to examine it. But aside from dirt, it's free from anything alarming— like a certain redhead's blood.

"What's that?" Dakota comes up from behind me, his words now registering. "That's Lilah's," he says in slight panic. He tries to hide his alarm but the worry in his voice seeps through just enough for me to pick up on it. "I got it for her on her sixteenth birthday."

"I know whose it is," I roll my eyes, turning to face him. I pull my phone out of my pocket to text Jace and tell him where we are and what I found.

"So she's here. She's got to be," the blonde says adamantly, his head swivelling in different directions like Lilah's going to appear out of thin fucking air just because he thinks he's solved the case.

"She was here," I agree, subtly correcting him. "The bracelet's dirty, though. Too dirty for something that's only just been dropped." I place the jewellery in his calloused hand, watching as he handles it so delicately. "Besides, look at the clasp. That thing is like a fucking security lock. I doubt it just fell off," I explain, pocketing my phone.

"So what are you saying? She came all the way out here to throw her bracelet away?" He asks with a bite to his tone. I don't blame him, though. I've seen this before. I know Dakota isn't stupid, quite the opposite actually, but he cares for Lilah and I don't think he wants to believe something bad could've happened to her.

"No. I'm saying she took it off for a reason. Probably wanted somebody to find it."

Dakota's eyebrows furrow, he has a look on his face that makes me weary. "Why? Why would she die that?"

"Dakota," I murmur cautiously, stepping forward as he takes a step back, his head shaking.

"No!" He snaps. "I don't fucking understand, Kody. What the fuck is going on? Why would she just leave it here? She's not— she wouldn't just do that!" He rambles, his movements frantic and unpredictable.

I need him to shut the fuck up, but my voice clearly isn't registering in his head no matter how many times I tell him to calm his shit and shut up. He's becoming sceptical and suddenly, I regret bringing him. Maybe I had been wrong. Maybe he can't control his anger when someone he cares for is in possible danger.

Noted for next time.

Not knowing what else to do to calm him down, I step forward until I'm chest-to-chest with the angry blonde and grab his chiseled face between my hands that look so small as they hold each of his cheeks firmly.

Startled, and clearly not in his right frame of mind, Dakota slams my back against the nearest tree which happens to be just to his right. One hand grips my neck and I have to control the urge to snap his wrist.

"Hey!" I shout the best I can after being lightly winded and having my oxygen cut off. I pull his head down so his face is closer to my own. "Kota, hey, look at me." I try to make his eyes meet mine but they won't seem to focus. "Kota," his breath fans against the apples of my cheeks as he exhales heavily. "Look at me," I soften my voice so it isn't as harsh, not as loud, so it doesn't overwhelm him. I don't know how to calm someone down, so instead I try and follow what I can remember from TV shows I've accidentally watched throughout the years.

Luckily, it seems to work as his breathing slows and his grip loosens; his hold was tight around my throat but I didn't register any pain.

With my hands still against his flushed cheeks, he rests his forehead against mine as he slumps forward, his hands falling to my waist but I barely notice. "Kody?" He whispers brokenly, snapping out of whatever the fuck just happened. "Fuck. I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, I didn't—."

Mean to, he was going to say before I cut him off.

"I know." He nods his head, I feel it move against mine. "You good?" I ask after a few comfortable moments. I want to push him away but I need to make sure he's calm enough so that he doesn't freak the fuck out again. I've never seen him do that before and admittedly, it shocked the fuck out of me.

Maybe there's more to Dakota than he lets me believe.

"Yeah," he breathes, not moving away just yet. His eyes are still closed. "I didn't meant to freak out. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It won't happen again. I swear." His hands squeeze my waist just slightly, making me aware that he's actually touching me.

I decide it's time to pull away.

"I know you're worried. That's fine. But what isn't fine is you freaking out on me like that," I warn sternly, but not too harsh.

Dakota looks pained. "I didn't mean to, Kodes." His voice is quiet, more quiet than I've ever heard it. So small and soft. Guilty.

I shake my head, knowing he's referring to his large ass fucking hands being wrapped around my neck squeezing for dear fucking life. "I'm not on about that," I explain. "I'm saying if you can't handle your shit, then we won't be able to find Lilah."

Just like that, his face falls and he's back to being nonchalant. "You're right," he nods. "But I'm fine. It was just a slip-up."

A slip-up. My mind latches on to the word like there's more to it. A slip-up. Has it happened before?

Now's not the time, I remind myself.

"Where do we go from he—." Before he can finish what he's about to say, we hear a shout from a short distance ahead. I can't make out what it said or whether it was male or female, but it sounded deep, most likely a man.

Dakota and I share a look before we sprint off into the direction the noise came from. I'm faster than Dakota but not by much. He does well keeping up.

We're not running for too long before I slow down, coming to a stop as I look around the area. Dakota comes to a halt a few metres away from me, searching our surroundings as well. Just as I am able to make out the silhouette of a figure running into the darkness a few yards away, Dakota yells my name in a panic I haven't heard in years.

"Kody! She's here! Kody!"

I turn around to find Dakota kneeling on the ground, crouched over something I can't see. But I have a good idea.

Glancing behind in the direction of the silhouette that is no longer there one last time, I rush over to Dakota and crouch next to him.

Just as I had assumed, Lilah is laying on the floor, her clothes ripped and skin bruised and bloody. Her eyes are closed and she's not conscious. I put two fingers to the pulse on her neck and am slightly relieved to feel a subtle beat against them, despite it being extremely weak.

Dakota is too preoccupied in trying to get her to open her eyes, so he hasn't noticed the extent of her injuries. He repeats her name over and over, his voice breaking with every whisper.

I check Lilah over, my hands sliding under her shirt. I feel her ribs, three or four are broken, and she has a few cuts, but nothing deep. I move on to check her limbs. While examining the arm closest to me, I notice her wrist is bent abnormally. Moving over to the other arm, my heart quickens at the site of her hand laying in a pool of her own blood, most likely from the two missing fingers; the middle and index.

The same ones I broke on Ricky's hand.

I've seen worse than this many times over at a much younger age. I've seen people I knew much longer than Lilah in a state much more sickening. But something churns uneasily in my stomach as I continue to check on the unconscious redhead. It feels like hours have passed but in reality it's been seconds.

"Dakota, call an ambulance," I move over to the top of her body, kneeling opposite the frantic blonde. He doesn't listen, or more so he doesn't hear. "Dakota!" I snap again, louder this time. "Do you want her to fucking die? Call a fucking ambulance!"

I chuck him my phone and he just about catches it in his shaking hands. In the meanwhile, I start CPR when I no longer feel Lilah's pulse. Her skin is a little blue, but I can't tell if that's just the terrible lighting of the moon, or if it's due to a collapsed lung or something obstructing her airway. I don't know if chest compressions would do anything if a collapsed lung or obstructed airway is the problem, or if it's actually making it worse, but for the first time in a long time I panic.

I'm not a doctor, or a paramedic; I fixed planes, not people. Sure, I can stitch up a nasty laceration or take care of a gunshot wound. But shit more complicated than that? I don't have a fucking clue.

"We need to move her," Dakota rushes out as he pulls away from the phone. "We need to get her to the field."

I shake my head in protest. "We can't move her. She doesn't have a pulse," I disagree.

"Then how the fuck do I tell them where we are?"

"Kody!" I look up at the sound of Jace's voice, not stopping the compressions on Lilah's small chest. He hurries towards me and collapses to his knees next to me. I hadn't even heard him nearing, that's how little I'm paying attention to my surroundings when it's the only thing I should be paying attention to. But Jace is here now. He has my back. "Fucking hell."

"She's not breathing. I can't find a pulse anymore," I explain as I peer down at Lilah's bruised and swollen face. Her hair is matted with blood, and while there is quite a lot of it, I know head injuries bleed much more than injuries anywhere else on the body. So the amount isn't alarming.

"Fuck, what do you need me to do?" Jace asks. He goes to hold on to her hand but notices the mess that it is and cringes away. "Holy fuck," he whispers to himself. His eyes meet mine and I know exactly how he feels. He's not used to seeing shit like that. He's not used to the same things I am.

"I need you to go and meet the ambulance in the field and bring them here." I take a look up at Dakota who speaks into the phone frantically, his eyes, however, never leaving Lilah. "He won't leave, so you're going to need to do it. Then I need you to get Zeke to take Benny home. Tell Zeke that he needs to tell Lilah's parents to meet us at the hospital. Do not tell anyone what has happened. Just that there's been an accident."

I peer at Jace to make sure he understands what I'm saying. His eyes are wide but I know he hears me loud and clear. "Okay. Okay," he nods his head. He looks at me one last time before snapping out of it and running back to the field. I know he's reluctant to leave me here but right now isn't about me.

It's about Lilah and the situation me and my impulsive actions got her in.