I donât know if thereâs a medical condition that could diagnose the gymnastics my brain is doing right now. Because firstly, what the fuck?
Secondly, seriously, what the fuck? Iâm going to have to punch a wall or something to stop myself from blushing.
The man I framed for arson grazed my tit and carried me a whole fifteen minutes to the med bay because I have a sore foot, and here I am, avoiding eye contact because my heart is doing stupid little somersaults over the plainly chivalrous act.
Not to mention, when he went all serious and foreboding after our rather⦠unexpected conversation, his stoicness was almost pleasant.
Scratch that. My idiotic heart fluttered with the deluded prospect that he was being protective of me. Add that to the fact that he was holding me to his chest like I was special and not a piece of rotten meat to discard; my ovaries were having a party. The part about Kiervan is believable, the rest of the things he said to me has to be a blatant lie, but Iâm just getting all giddy about it because I hit my head, and it felt scarily nice to be in his arms.
Iâm not entertaining the touch starved theory to my reaction, because that issue can be bought and fulfilled by exchanging one thing for another.
Kohen carried me without expecting me to spread for him by the end of it. But I refuse to believe he did it out of the kindness of his heart. Heâs going to retaliate over the fire somehow, and I just have to be ready for it when it happensâwhich, right now, would be a very inconvenient time for it to happen. Not to sound dramatic or anything, but I think my ankle might be broken.
Dislocated, maybe.
Or a bad sprainâtwisted sounds too mundane, but substantially more accurate than the other two. I think.
Iâm no doctor, but if I can still move my foot around itâs not broken, right? Who the fuck knows. Even if a bone is sticking out, the nurse will probably slap a Band-Aid on it and kick me out. I want to say this is the life of a woman going to the doctor, but I think this is more a me issue.
Seraphic Hillsâs selling point to parents is the schoolâs one-stop-shop aspect. It might be situated hours away from a town with a population of over one thousand and in the middle of a fucking forest, but life still continues for the students because everything we could possibly need is right here. Thereâs a semiretired doctor on retainer who lives close by and drives over if there are any cases beyond Dr. Van der Merweâs skills, as well as a helipad to fly people out for any significant issues.
Iâve never been to this part of the medical wing. I knew this place had an examination room; I just didnât think it was this nice. Clean white walls, gray floors, LED lights, random health and anatomy posters around the room, and various plastic organs and bones along the shelves. There seems to be everything in here, even a portable ultrasound, defibrillator, and a blood-test-checker-machine thingy. Iâm honestly not sure what type of qualifications a psychiatrist and a retired general practitioner must have to operate all this machinery.
Oh, and I canât forget about the lovely ECT a couple rooms over.
The side of my face prickles; it has ever since the nurse directed Kohen to lower me onto the bed and left us both to wait while my good friend Dr. Van der Merwe finishes his meeting.
Earlier, as the nurse rummaged around the drawer for anti-inflammatories, Dr. Kohen Osman stepped in and R.I.C.Eâd the fuck out of me. I was on my back with an ice pack on my elevated foot faster than I could figure out what every word in the acronym stands for.
Internally sighing, I swallow my pride and say the words usually only reserved for customer service. âThank you.â Then add, âFor bringing me here.â
Yuck. It even tastes gross. If I have to admit that Iâm wrong about something or apologize, Iâm going to throw up.
His lips part, eyes widening in shock.
Nope. That expression has to go. âBut you can leave.â
Good one, Blaze. Friendly, swift, to the point. Then I can go back to plotting how to ruin Kohenâs psyche while simultaneously avoiding Elijah.
Iâm going to need to get better at my uppercuts if that hopped-
up fucker tries jumping me again. Or wait⦠guys love a damsel in distressâcase in point, Kohen. Although, I thought heâd be inclined to add to my distress. Thereâs still time for that to change.
Kohen takes this exact moment to decide that he does, in fact, want to add to my daily stresses. He gets all up in my business, placing his arms on either side of my body to cage me against the bedânot like I was planning to go anywhere with my broken foot and all.
And itâs not like I can breathe with him this close. Or think. Or be any kind of functioning member of society.
Patchouli and mint smell even better in a sterile room. I should be a little more haunted by the fact that the place the doc tortured me in is nearby, but none of that seems to matter when I can feel his breath on my face⦠his lips are so close, and his hands are right there, so close to myâ
No.
No.
Iâm mad at him. I hate him. I am not thinking about those strong fingers brushing along my core. And I am most definitely not dreaming about mounting him for trying to stop the fight and then acting so attentively afterward.
God, I need to figure out how to get someone to smuggle a vibrator into this place. A Kohen-sized dildo would be a good alternative.
âTry to kick me out, and Iâll tell the nurse about theâ¦â His hand skates up the side of my thigh, and Iâm ashamed to admit that my legs fall apart ever so slightly. Then, in a move that disappoints me more than it should, he reaches into my pocket and pulls out the strip of tablets I nicked when I thought no one was looking.
He blinks. Stares at the pills. âLaxatives? Really?â
Is that what those things were? I mean, you canât put a price on a functioning stomach.
I snatch the medication from him and tuck it back into my pocket. âI have IBS.â
âNo, you donât.â
âExcuse me? How would you know?â
âThat depends. Do you want to question how private your medical history is?â
Son of bitch.
The breath rushes back into me when he steps back, and his eyes follow the line of my body with more intensity than I can handle. He shifts his weight when he makes it down my leg. Itâs odd watching him blink hard when he gets to my foot, like thereâs some internal battle heâs wrestling with.
Kohen clears his throat. âTake off your sock. I want to check your ankle.â
I frown, both because thatâs a ridiculous request and because it makes me feel unreasonably special that he cares about me even when Iâm trying to screw him up. âYouâre not a doctor. Plus, you arenât looking at my feet for free. This shit is a hot commodity.â
Kohen cuts me a blank look. âStop talking, Blaze.â
Ugh, fuck it. Choose your battles and all that. Before I can play my independent-young-woman card, his hands curve behind my calf. The agonizingly slow speed in which they travel down my leg to remove my sock, is enough for me to start thinking about old people so I can stop imagining things involving the hard object tenting his pants.
Is it just me, or has he been getting hard a lot recently? I also think this room is getting unseasonably hot. And Iâm wearing far too many layers. So is he. Maybe he could move his hand a little higher toâ
Nope. Not thinking about that.
âDoes this hurt?â
âWhatâow!â I jolt up, slapping his hand away from my very red, very swollen ankle. âYes, it fucking hurts. What did you think would happen when you go poking at a sprain?â
âIt could be partially dislocated.â
âOkay, Doctor,â I mock.
When I bend my knee to get my foot away from him, I donât expect him to grab my other leg and bend it too, causing me to be too dumbstruck to do anything about it. The ibuprofen must be getting to my head; thatâs the only explanation as to why heâs doing exactly what I was fantasizing before. One second his hand is around my leg, the next, both hands are at my hips pulling down my shortsâand, shit, the whiplash is sending a rush straight to my core.
Somehow, some way, I manage to stop thinking with my vagina for more than a millisecond to shove his hands away. âWhat the fuck do you thinkââ
âShut the fuck up. I need this.â
Iâm not sure whether itâs his words or how the gold in his eyes has turned into bronze embers against the poisonous green rings, but he manages to stun me into silence. He looks like heâs about to explode. The pyromaniac takes my silence as an opening to yank my panties and shorts down my thighs in one single move, and I screech.
âYouâreââ
Iâm bare from the waist down in the next heartbeat, barely able to breathe from the depleting oxygen in the room. I snap my legs closed, and the movement immediately sends a bolt of pain through my ankle. Still, I keep my thighs tightly shut so he doesnât see what his barbarian attitude is doing to my nether regions.
Kohenâs eyes flare, and he sounds like heâs skating the line of losing it. âIâm two seconds away from lighting a man on fireâif you donât spread your legs for me right now, Iâm sending us both to prison.â
Itâs a leg workout with how hard Iâm squeezing my thighs together, and it makes the examination sheet crinkle beneath me. âIâm not doing shit for you.â
âThatâs part of the problem, isnât it?â He pulls me down the bed, and I let out a pathetic little yelp when my shirt slides up with the friction. âYou donât need to do a goddamn thing, and my dick is constantly hard as a brick for you.â
My mouth falls. âWhat? Are you on drugs? What the fuck are you talking about?â By my count, Iâve seen this man hard twice. And if he hadnât been turned on by me riding his leg, I would have been offended.
âIâm talking about how you take center stage in all my wet dreams, and I canât go a single day without coming to the thought of you.â
I blink twice. âCome again?â
Thereâs no way I heard that right. Sure, I get that he recently developed some weird, deranged interest in me after deciding he doesnât like it when Iâm around other guys. But his delusion canât be so bad that heâs in his room every day, touching himself while thinking about me.
Now that I think about it, itâs actually quite flattering.
My brain doesnât compute the blur of movement until one of his hands cradles the back of my neck, and the other wraps around the column of my throat, lifting me so our lips brush against each other. A shiver skates down my spine as I barely stop myself from sealing the deal.
You hate him, I remind myself. He burned your house and got you medically tortured. You H-A-T-E him.
âYouâve stolen my every waking thought since the day I met you, Thief. Iâve been wanting to feel your pretty pussy for as long as I can remember. Iâm done waiting.â I donât notice that his hand has left my neck until his fingers brush against my core.
Itâs like I jolt awake, fighting back the need to grind against his hand by clawing, hitting, and releasing the occasional kick with my good leg. His fingers stay precisely where they are, rubbing against my clit every time I move.
I growl, trying to fight him offâor maybe because it feels sublime whenever my hip buckles. Either way, Iâm appeasing my mental and physical needs. The feelings are enough to make me forget all about the pain shooting through my foot.
Anyone could walk in right now and see me practically throwing myself at himâbecause no one will believe that heâs jumping me. Theyâd slap a chastity belt on me, zap me with a lightning bolt, and tattoo slut on my forehead.
That should fill me with more motivation to throw him off, yet I donât, even though I could be risking it all just to get off. But isnât this just who I am? A junkie for the thrill of the danger.
Kohen grips my hair. âFight me if you want, Thief. The only way youâll get me to stop is by mentioning another man.â
I glare at him. Motherfucker gives me an out, and I canât bring myself to take it. Worse yet, this might seem like a win-win situation to some. But as I see it, Iâm using him to get off. Iâm his scapegoat in exchange, and his balls will be left blue. Ergo, the win goes to me and the loss goes to him .
Maybe itâs a convoluted way of justifying why Iâm pausing my crusade, but hey, orgasms feel better than drugsâone leaves me dying, and the other leaves me sated.
I scoff, putting up a half-assed fight as I sneer in his face. He thinks the act is from rage, but frustration might be more accurate.
Thereâs a thick layer of desperation to how hotly he says, âStay still and let me take care of you.â
My brain short-circuits.
He canât say shit like that to me.
Take care of me? What the fuck? Those four words are all it takes to get me to fold for this lunatic? Iâm meant to be a stronger woman than this. I donât need anyone to take care of me, but my body becomes jellylike and compliant as he guides my injured leg onto the stirrups that are built into the bed. Even though his eyes are viciously set on me, his shoulders soften as if caring for me relaxes him. The movement is so gentle; if I were more emotionally fraught about my altercation with Elijah, Iâd get teary-eyed.
I didnât realize that a lifetime of aggression and fighting men would lead me to become broken by the concept of something other than pain. Kohen hates me just as much as I hate him. Why else would he go around choking me, cutting my hair, or doing what he did to my house? Hatred and loathing are the foundation of our entire relationship. How long do I need to wait until the punch line? Affection isnât possible without pain. Love doesnât exist without hurt. So when will this crumble?
I keep waiting for him to suddenly grip my ankle or say something that will make me regret letting my guard down, yet he doesnât.
Each of his minuscule movements goes against the years of bad blood between us. I canât reconcile the mutual animosity with how tenderly heâs treating me, checking that my leg is sitting comfortably on the stirrup, tying the ice pack to my foot, making sure itâs not too cold on my skin, and then moving to the other leg.
Itâs wild that heâs doing this while Iâm butt-ass nakedânot that heâs forgotten about it with how he keeps eyeing me with a sideways glance at the space between my spread legs. Any second now, the zipper on his pants is going to burst open, and Iâd be a liar if I said I wasnât excited about the prospect.
Trepidation fills my lungs when he turns away from me to a table at the other side of the room, leaving me exposed and wanting. Dare I say it, Iâm having to stop myself from panting. My muscles spasm in agitation and frustration from the position and need. I wonder if heâs intentionally making me wait as a form of torture to see if Iâll get any wetter from the tease.
Or if Iâm just overthinking it.
I wish I could see what heâs looking for in the various drawers. The sound of tape ripping and metal clinking causes anxiety to worm into my marrow. Is this the part where the hurt finally comes?
Iâve never caught him out on a lie before, and I guess realizing his words are all fake would be the thing that shatters the illusion of his niceties. It might also be exactly what I need to stop my traitorous heart and body from melting all over him.
I bite the inside of my cheek when he slams the drawer closed, and I glance up at the door like it might be wide open. He doesnât spare me a look as he rolls the heart rate monitor next to the bed, and places the trolley next to me.
While heâs inspecting the items on it, my legs slowly fall closed. Itâs an odd combination of being frightened and turned on by my curiosity, but I flinch when he moves to lock the door .
Everything about him seems dangerous, like heâs a second away from blowing up. But when he tugs off his tie, tosses his blazer onto the computer chair, and shoves his sleeves up to his elbows, I damn well almost come from how sophisticated he is in his distressâand those forearms.
Jesus Christ, those veiny forearms.
I try to fight him off for a little over five seconds when he tries taking my shirt off, then again when he unclasps my bra, folding both into a neat pile on the seat a few feet away from the examination table. The cool air kisses my skin, perking my nipples into points sharp enough to key a car. Iâve never been self-conscious about my looks or how much skin I show, but right now, I want to fold my arms across my chest because I know if he looks too long, heâll see what everyone else sees.
That Iâm inadequate, a mess, a pariah. Heâll remember that Iâm better off dead in a ditch somewhere, and not someone he should spend his emotional energy getting jealous over.
Kohen falters when his heated gaze rakes over my body like a drag of a match, cataloging every inch of me with bated breath. The hardening in his pants makes me wet my dry lips, but at the same time, I realize that if his plan is to degrade me by leaving me naked on a slab, itâs working. The vulnerability of it all is unnerving, just as it is alluring.
Another shiver rolls down my spine when he drags his finger along the side of my body until he reaches his station, hazel eyes transfixed on the trail of goosebumps pebbling my flesh from his touch.
âWhat are you doing?â I ask hesitantly when he puts the stethoscope on .
âA checkup,â he says simply.
âYouâre not a doctor.â
âPractice.â
It makes even less sense than before, but the term curiosity killed the cat was made for me. I know Iâm into foreplay, but am I into roleplay too? I guess I know the answer now.
âBreathe in.â
Whatever, yeah. Okay, Iâll let Kohen play his game, but if he pulls out a speculum or needles, Iâm tapping out.
The cold surface of the bell makes me flinch. Come to think of it, this might be the first time Iâve had this done since I turned fourteen. Every time Iâve been sick, Grandpa labeled it a hangover and told me to suck it up.
âHold.â
I do as Kohen asks, stuttering when the chilled metal brushes over my nipples.
âBreathe out.â
Heâs really taking this seriously, getting me to breathe several times, grazing my nipple each time he places the flat base on a different part of my chest. And much to my disappointment, not once does he touch me with his hands.
Surely, heâs doing this longer than necessary. If I had to guess by his blown-out eyes, his focus is on my nipples and spread legs, not the sound of my lungs.
Kohen pulls away, placing the stethoscope back on the tray. The tendons in his forearms ripple; his veins move as he slips the pulse reader on my finger and the blood pressure cuff around my arm. Deep rivets form between his brows as he pushes random buttons on the heart rate monitor. He steps back once the first line jumps on the monitor, and the cuff tightens around my arm.
Keeping his stare firmly on me, my lips part as he grabs a pair of gloves off the wall. Do I have a latex kink, or does watching this male model snap on gloves do it for me? Also, what in Godâs name does he need with them?
His gaze drops down to the two gadgets reading me, then quickly to my tits, and back to the monitor. My heart rate must be astronomical right nowâbeing anxious and horny and all. The machine beeps twice, and he nods approvingly as he reads the screen. Does he know what heâs looking at, or is he a weirdly good actor when it comes to roleplaying? A hundred over sixty sounds high to me.
He takes the cuff off my arm and leaves the pulse monitor on, glancing at it smugly when it spikes as he reaches for something on the trolley. As if double-checking the data corresponds, he shifts his attention down to my wet pussy, and he nods to himself again. The Velcro sounds as he brings the cuff closer to my throat.
âNo,â I growl and he halts. âIf you put that shit anywhere near my neck, my knuckles are going to be kissing your balls, lover boy.â
Hands, I can fight off. Limbs, I can break. A machine? Something inhuman that wonât listen to reason? No. No way. That type of shit can stay far the fuck away from me. Itâll be like drowning without any water in sight.
When the tubing comes into view, my breath stutters.
âYeah, no.â Iâm out. I donât like anything that might involve that.
âHands,â is all he says.
Ignoring my protests, he grabs both my wrists and ties them together using the plastic tubing.
I change my mind; maybe I do like things involving those. The evidence of exactly how much I like it is dripping between my legs. Kohen knows it too, evidenced by a single gloved finger catching another droplet before it lands on the medical-grade sheet, and I arch my back when he pushes it back inside me.
Who knows what else Iâm agreeing to by doing this. Actually, I donât give a shit. As long as I get to come, Iâm all game.
Kohen makes a sound at the back of his throat that makes the muscles in my core spasm. âYouâre so fucking soaked for me, Blaze.â
Biting my tongue to stop myself from mewling, I squeeze my eyes shut to imagine literally anything else but what the latex-clad fingers feel like on and inside me. If Kohenâs goal was to keep from dirtying the sheets, heâs doing an excellent job of it. However, heâs making an even bigger mess of me.
I grip the bedsheet with my bound hands when he slaps my pussy hard enough for me to feel the delicious pressure on my clit, but not enough to sting. He does it again, this time watching the monitor to see my pulse jump.
âSuch an excited little whore,â he muses in the same way a doctor does when analyzing results.
The term might be an insult when said by anyone elseâanyone who isnât making my naked body flush and legs quake with needâbut when Kohen says it, my hips roll into the pleasure heâs giving me. I have a funny feeling that if he added my at the start of it, my eyes would roll to the back of my head.
I can go back to plotting his downfall once I leave this room. For now, Iâm his whore as long as I get what I want at the end of this.
Kohenâs eyes track the heavy rise and fall of my chest, and then he messes with something on the trolley that I canât see, pushing me back down with a solid yet soft push when I try to sit up .
âDonât touch me,â I snap.
His jaw ticks, and his expression grows murderous again, but he doesnât look at me, continuing with whatever it is heâs doing.
My eyes widen as my blood chills by ten degrees when he turns to me with a pair of forceps or tweezersâwhatever the scissor-looking things are called. Cotton pads are taped down with gauze tape on each pointed end of the metal. Nothing betrays his expression as he lowers them down to my chest. Is he⦠Holy shit, heâs going to use them as clamps.
He twists one of my nipples between his pointer finger and thumb. My body reacts on its own accord, pressing my head back against the table and pushing my tits against his hand to urge him on. Like the cruel asshole he is, Kohen doesnât work me harder, continuing with the leisurely, clinical pace heâs set, rolling it around like itâs a game.
I squeeze my eyes shut to focus on the sensations heâs eliciting and keeping silent. A moan bubbles up my throat before I can stop it. Curses spill from my lips when his mouth wraps around my nipple. Thereâs something almost⦠hesitant or uncertain about how he circles the aching points with the tip of his tongue before taking them between his teeth in a near-vicious pull. The way his mouth moves is wet and messy, but each flick still sends shockwaves through my body. I buck my hips upward, begging for the slightest bit of friction to alleviate the building ache.
Who wouldâve thought this man would know what to do with his tongue? Actually, he doesnât deserve that high praise when heâs such a prick. Still, it doesnât stop me from grabbing onto his shirtâwhich the stupid heart rate monitor makes awkward, but Iâm barely aware of it beyond wanting his mouth to stay there so he can continue lavishing my breasts like heâs been waiting a lifetime to do it.
âGreedy little thief,â he murmurs against my skin after I yank him back when he tries to stop. âYou get what youâre given.â
Legs? Spread.
Back? Arched.
I almost roll my eyes. If that were the case, Kohen wouldâve pried my hands off and continued on his merry way. But here he is, doing half of what I want.
Kohen alternates between sucking the left and right tit, giving the other attention with his fingers when his mouth is preoccupied. My hips roll against the bed in search of relief. If he doesnât start touching me properly soon, Iâm going to take matters into my own bound hands.
This time, when he pulls away, I let himâgroaning as his teeth drag against my nipples. He almost looks proud of what heâs done to my painful points. Theyâre so sensitive it feels like they might rip off from a breeze.
I scowl at him as he holds my chin between his thumb and forefinger. âFor the first time in your life, youâre going to be a good girl for me and stay very, very still.â
âGet fucked,â I choke out as he lets go of my chin.
He ignores me, grabbing the forceps and bringing it to my chest. Out of instinct, I latch both hands onto his leg and dig my nails into the stiff muscles. This is going to hurt.
âRelax,â he rasps.
All I can muster is a breathy, âIâm going to fucking kill you,â followed by a hissed, âAsshole,â when the forceps clamp around my nipple. The pain zaps to every corner of my psyche and sends a wave of desire straight to my core. The hiss becomes a whimper for more as I get used to the sensation.
âYou can try.â Cockiness laces his voice, but I couldnât care less about what he has to say as the second one pinches my nipple.
âFuck.â I jolt when he lets go, making both forceps swing, adding more pressure to my already hurting nipples. This time, the sound that leaves my lips is a starved moan. Every muscle in my stomach convulses, needing release more than I need air. Every breath moves the forceps, and trying to stop myself from mewling is hopeless.
Iâm soaked beyond comprehension; worse than the frenzy I was in the night I fucked his leg. The sheet is entirely saturated, and I still feel myself dripping onto the bed. Iâve never denied that Iâm attracted to Kohenâs appearance; I just never thought heâd be the one to get me into a state where Iâm swollen to the point of pain. Iâm so raw, the still air feels like a gentle caress, sending pleasure up my spine.
If he isnât going to make me come, then Iâll do it myself. Iâm so worked up that it wonât even take long.
My hands fall to my core, and the first draw of my fingers over my clit has me cursing. Kohen snatches my hands away before I can find out what sound Iâll make on my second. The angle of my arms above my head makes the forceps drop lower and pull on my nipples.
âDonât you dare. You come when I let you.â
I bare my teeth at him. I feel fucking feral. I could bring down a mountain, fight God, or become Him with how much pent-up frustration Kohenâs injected into my bloodstream. Iâve hungered for things beforeâitched like itâs the only thought that consumes my mind. Thereâs never been a desire that my body, mind, and soul have ached for.
âSomeoneâs going to get me off, and I doubt youâll be able to do it.â Lie. Something tells me that heâll make up for what he might lack in skill with enthusiasm and size. I havenât tested it out, but he could cover my face with his hand. Having those monstrous-sized fingers inside me would send me to heaven and back before my untimely descent into hell.
The combined pain in my tits and the ache in my pussy is dizzying. He could barter with me, make me sell my soul, and give up everything Iâve ever wanted in life just so I orgasm hard enough to black out on this sterile bed.
Kohen straightens, letting go of my hands. His lips turn downward with a sneer. I didnât bring up another man, but questioning his abilities is just as bad, I suppose.
If thereâs something I know about Kohen, heâll rise to any challenge I throw his way.
He reaches for something off the trolley, keeping it out of sight as he throws another glance at the heart rate monitor. âStick your tongue out,â he orders. When I keep my mouth clamped tight in defiance, his nostrils flare. âDo it, and you get to come.â
Now that is how you negotiate. I couldnât stick my tongue out quicker if I tried.
A brown stick comes into view, and I gasp, momentarily disarmed. Thatâs not exactly what I thought he had in mind.
Kohen presses the compressor down on my tongue, looking down his nose at me in intrigue. Something wildly innate in me has an uncharacteristic urge to be the best possible patient I can be. It makes me push my tongue out and open my mouth as wide as I can.
What the fuck is this man doing to me?
The tongue compressor doesnât stay there for long before his fingers replace the wood. The rubbery scent fills my senses and settles over my taste buds as he rubs his fingers up and down my tongue. He goes all the way back when I donât expect it. My body reacts, closing my throat around him as I rear back and sputter a cough.
Kohen makes a sound of disapproval that makes me want to both lash out and cower. âYou can do better than that, Thief.â
The glare I give him doesnât go very far because his fingers are in my mouth before I can speak, going just as deep as before. Undeterred by my choking, he does it over and over again, going further back each time, almost as if heâs training me. He tips his head to the side as if calculating whether my reflexes can handle him. The prospect of having his cock in my mouth does the opposite of sicken me and, for the first time in my life, I actually want this while being stone-cold sober.
His cock.
Itâd be like a treat for being his good little patient.
âSuck them,â he orders.
I try to do as Iâm told, but Iâm unable to because Kohen chooses that exact moment to finallyâfinallyâpush his other fingers into my aching core. And it feels like I just found God, Mary, and fucking Zeus. I visit every version of heaven there is just from the slide of his digits. Itâs divine ecstasy.
Bucking up into his hand, I quietly moan around him just so he doesnât get the satisfaction of hearing the full extent of my pleasure. Also, if I let myself make all the sounds I want to make, someoneâs going to call security, and I canât promise myself I wonât be charged with homicide at the end of it.
Kohen pulls his fingers out of my cunt, and my eyes snap wide open.
How dare he stop? Iâm going to fucking killâ
âSuck,â he says, his voice low enough to vibrate in my veins.
Thereâs no snarky comment I can make when my lips are wrapped around his glove-covered fingers in a game of tonsil hockey. If I buck my hips in search of his hand, he wins the round, but if I move my top half, pain will slice through my chest from the clamps. So we enter into a stare-off, with him still in my mouth and my core dripping and swollen.
Iâm going to break first. He knows it. I know it. Thereâs no point to the quarrel, but boy does it feel good to see his eyes turn to stone when I wrap my tongue around his digits and play with them languidly, just like he did with my nipples.
Itâs a sweet treat. A lollipop. Itâd be a crime not to taste every inch of it.
The tip of my tongue runs along his latex fingers, pushing in the seam between them to give each the deserved attention. I pull back, kissing them, devouring them, acting out everything I would do to Kohenâs cock. Heâs forgotten that heâs not the only one who can be thorough.
His breaths come out heavy as he zeroes in on my tongueâs ministrations. The same power I felt that night in my room flows through me as his hand closes the distance to my pussy.
Thatâs right, Pyro. Youâre my bitch too.
He teases me just like Iâm teasing him, skirting around my entrance and skating his latex-clad hand over my clit. The rubber adds an extra layer of pleasure I didnât think was possible. I mimic the move with my tongue, this time dropping my attention away from his hazel eyes down to the dent pushing against his pants. Just as Iâm about to give in and behave like he wants, he pulls his fingers out of my mouth and uses them to breach my entrance at the same time he slams his lips to mine to swallow a silent scream .
The kiss is as bruising as it was the first night, except Iâm needier and angrier, and his kiss feels desperate.
The same desperation tinges his voice when he slips out of me to discard his gloves on the table.
âI want to feel you when you come,â he pants.
A low groan rumbles through his chest when he sinks his bare fingers back into me. My eyelids flutter at the warmth of his skin directly against mine. Something about the direct contact makes the touch more sensual and intimate as if this is not just a onetime thing, but rather the start of a bond. His rough, calloused hands waste no time pummeling me like weâre about to get caught, and he wants to finish the job with flying colors. The metallic taste of blood blooms on my tongue from biting it to keep from making a sound. Anyone could come knocking on that door, and only one of us is naked right now.
If all doctor visits were like this and from men who look like Kohen, Iâd be making weekly appointments.
He makes the act of fucking me with his fingers seem so medical, with his flattened brows and the hawklike focus in his eyes.
Actually, maybe medical isnât the right word. Methodical. Critical. An experiment to figure out what makes me tick and what makes me scream. Kohenâs probably writing mental notes of his findings, and planning the next phase in his kinky clinical trials. Itâs the face of a man with a goal in mind, and every intention to succeed beyond measure.
The lewd sounds of his fingers vigorously pumping into me fills the air. It makes me preen knowing he wants to study me and become familiar with every facet of my body so he knows how best to treat it.
A different kind of pressure builds in the base of my stomachâa feeling Iâm not familiar with.
âYou think Kiervan or Elijah could make you feel this good?â Kohen flicks my nipple, and I bite down a scream, making the heart rate monitor go berserk. âI asked you a question.â
âBetter,â I snap, even though the thought of going near either of them makes me sick to my stomach. They both deserve to rot for all the shit theyâve done.
Kohen curves his fingers just right, hitting the spot that makes white light dance behind my vision. The buildup of pressure doesnât just ease, it falls over the edge and crashes into the water below. I cry out, throwing my head back as warmth gushes out from between my legs and soaks the sheet. The sudden motion causes the clamps to create delightful pain.
âShh, not so loud. We wouldnât want someone to come in and see you like this.â He covers my mouth with his hand, his sinister, teasing voice wrapping around me to make my toes curl. His attempt at silencing me doesnât do much other than muffle the sounds. âFigures my klepto would be a squirter.â
The first thought that goes through my mind is to bite him. And thatâs exactly what I do; I open my mouth and sink my teeth into the tender flesh of his fingers, using them to stifle my moans.
âFuck,â he growls, keeping his hand exactly where it is, and his fingers curled to make the pressure in my core soar higher.
Now I understand why women want vocal men. I hurt himâon purposeâand he sounds like heâs going to reach a violent ecstasy. The same ecstasy Iâm chasing to new heights. It hits faster than I realize because my teeth come down harder as I choke on a scream. Scrambling for his chest or the sheets of the bed with my bound hands, anything to keep me grounded as fireworks explode through every cell in my body so savagely I think I might pass out.
Kohen frees his hand from my bite the second I go lax, his other sliding out of me with a loud, wet noise. The next thing I know, his belt is off, along with his shirt, pants, and underwear, until heâs standing before me in all his naked glory.
Adonis. The word perfectly describes him, and his perfectly chiseled abs, to the sprawling line of his chest and torso. There isnât a single inch of him that hasnât been molded into a masterpiece. His bronze skin looks artful under the fluorescent light as he grabs something else from the trolley.
The tattoos on his chest are perfectly symmetrical: two coiling snakes that wrap around his back.
The real showstopper is the thing saluting me from his hips. I had no intention of letting this go beyond my own orgasm, but now that I see his cock outside of his pants⦠I guess itâs one hell of a way to die. Charlie better get her eulogy ready; there arenât many hills Iâm willing to die on, but as of today, there is a mountain Iâm willing to conquerâand Iâm no hiker.
Fuck it. Today, Iâm all about trying everything at least once.
For my sanityâs sake though, I put on a show of fighting him as he positions himself between my legs, condom rolled on alreadyâJesus, it really is one size fits all. The heart rate monitor goes flying off my finger in the scuffle.
He wrestles my wrists above my head with a single hand, stationing himself right against my entrance. For some reason, the fury in his eyes hasnât dissipated. He looks like he despises himself for wanting to do this. If thatâs the case, then even if he comes, Iâm still a winner because he would have hated every second of it.
My lips fall on a silent gasp as he pushes himself in. Heâs only put the fucking tip in, and I think Iâm about to see Mother Mary. I continue thrashing against his hold, moving my hips in the process to feel the sheer girth of him stretching me to the point it stings.
Cursing under his breath, he moves and places the full weight of his trembling upper body on the hand beside my head. He lets go of my wrists and withstands the onslaught of my fruitless fighting while trying to adjust our hips.
My breath stutters as he releases the forceps from my nipples, never once slowing in his descent. Sensitive isnât an apt enough description of the state my nipples are in. Itâs so bad I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from groaning when his chest brushes against mine.
Increment by agonizing increment, he pushes himself into me. The heat of his stained gaze never once leaves my face. Itâs like heâs trying to remember every part of thisâevery part of meâwhile loathing me all the same.
Kohen traps my arms between us as he sinks the entirety of himself inside me, reaching so far back that I swear I can taste him in my throat.
âFuck,â he says, voice hoarse. The arms beside my head shake as if this is the most difficult thing heâs ever done. âYou feel unrealâso goddamn good.â
My cheeks heat at the compliment. He had been imagining what I felt like. The ache that radiates through my center has me tensing up, ready to push him back out. But instead, he flattens his hips with mine, giving me more when I thought there was nothing more to give. I squeeze my eyes shut to focus on something other than the pain.
This is it. This is when the hurt starts, where the final betrayal will happen, and Kohen becomes irredeemable.
Heâll hold me down despite how many different names I call out. Heâll grab onto my injured foot and pummel me into the exam table until my insides become unrecognizable. Heâd do it all with a smile on his face, laughing because he finally broke my body.
Only he doesnât do any of that. He stays right where he is, giving me time to adjust, rubbing circles over my clit to loosen my muscles.
Stay still and let me take care of you.
Thatâs what he said to me. He took the clamps off because theyâd hurt when he thrusts. He took steps to keep my ankle free from added discomfortâdemanded that the nurse give me ice and painkillers. He made me see God with his fingers before he gave me his cock.
Let me take care of you.
If this is all a game, itâs going to hurt when I lose. The betrayal wonât just impact him; itâll be irreparable for the rest of my life. What other ending is there if Iâm letting the man I hate in? If I sat still just because he asked?
I will realize I donât hate him nearly as much as I thought. It isnât soul-deep or life-altering. Iâm angryâpissedâbut here I am, letting him tie my wrists together and strip me bare when anyone could barge in.
Even though I know heâs holding on by a thread, he hesitantly pulls out of me just as slowly as he went in. His ragged breaths brush my skin as he moves his fingers from beside my head to press his thumb against the pulse point in my neck.
Maybe some innate part of me trusts him enough to do all this because I know his rage is as vast as mine. I pulled the trigger; it was only a matter of time before he retaliated. Yet here he is with vehemence in his eyes, the same look heâs harbored since the first day he met me.
Heâs fucking me with so much tenderness it almost feels like he cares about me. His hips thrust into me, the type of rolling motion that doesnât shake the bed or jolt through my body. Nothing about it is forceful or harsh.
Itâs gentle.
I donât deserve gentle.
I donât deserve the care heâs expressing, even if it is all fake.
Someone like me doesnât get love or the dashing young prince who will save her from the big bad dragon. I was born alone, and itâs already been written in the books of life that Iâm meant to die alone, never knowing anything but carnage and emptiness.
In drugs, I could find that solace. Iâm less alone in the company of blankness or colorful sounds.
Right now, I hate him not for what has happened in the past, but because this is the cruelest thing heâs ever done to me. Giving me a taste of what I will never have. Iâll spend the rest of my life yearning for an idea that was never real.
I squeeze my eyes shut when they start to sting.
Then Kohen kisses me.
Oh, he kisses me.
His lips move like they have finally found their counterpart. They taste like lost dreams. I savor it because if all of this is a sham, at least when I die, Iâll know what it feels like to be important to someone.
So I kiss him back because I want to know what it feels like to have someone genuinely matter to me. While we kiss, Iâm struck with the agonizing realization that I could get used to this; the feel of it all, consuming me completely until I tip over the edge and into a hangover Iâll never recover from .
Hazel greets me when I open my eyes, staring back into my empty abyss. He always watches me even when I donât want him to. Itâs another thing I could overfill myself on; having someoneâs eyes on me and only me.
Kohen drives his hips into me faster, pushing me out of the spell of my own mind to swallow down each moan he forces out of me. Gently, he takes my legs off the stirrups to deepen each thrust. Thereâs something almost⦠uncertain about the way he moves, as if heâs trying to figure out whether heâs on the right track.
The painful ache in my core is gone. All thatâs left is the fierce desire to find the high I had felt before he treated me like I was something to be cherished. He keeps circling my clit, drawing the pleasure through me.
âWhat happened to rest, ice, compression, and elevation?â I pant out the acronym for R.I.C.E, not sure he can understand the words Iâm saying.
âThatâs why your legs are on my shoulders and not shaking against the bed.â His next thrust comes exceptionally hard, paired with a frown of concentration.
I reach for the wall above my head to stop the bed from hitting the wall and alerting everyone to our tryst. He doesnât falter in his brutal pace, driving into me with desperate vigor.
The orgasm is forced from me without warning, shooting stars all around us as I tighten around him and cling to the top of the table. In an ungodly feat, he moves faster, hitting me harder with each thrust until he drops his head against mine, releasing a groan that fills the room.
âFuck,â I whisper as my body convulses with the aftermath of my second orgasm, and I unintentionally lurch forward when he pulls out after a few heated seconds of heavy breathing.
A sheen of lust covers my vision as he pulls off the condom. My brows pinch momentarily as I try to make sense of the fact that he isnât getting off the bed or throwing it away.
âWhat the fuck do you think youâre doing?â I screech. My hand flies out to swat him away, but itâs too late.
âYou fucked up.â The warm liquid of the emptied condom slowly drips from my pussy. A grin works its way across his face as he pushes his come back into me with two fingers. âYou fucked up bad, little thief. Youâre mine now.â
âYou fucking asshole.â
He nods toward the trolley where a packet of birth control awaits me.
How romantic.
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