All in Your Head

OJ looked up at the clock that ticked away on his office wall. It was 4pm.

4pm, and he hadn't seen Paper once.

When he woke up this morning, Paper had been sleeping soundly in their bed, a gentle smile on his face. That was nothing out of the ordinary; OJ usually woke up earlier than his lover. It was a habit he hadn't quite broken out of.

Then, Paper didn't join him for breakfast. That... worried him a little, but lie-in days weren't uncommon for him. Maybe today he just... wasn't feeling up to facing the day right away.

Even when Paper didn't show up to lunch, he didn't think much of it. Maybe Paper was sleeping through the whole day? Perhaps he was feeling really exhausted from all the work he's done this week?

But now, Soap was here. Telling him that his door had apparently been locked the whole day.

OJ left his room key... well, in their room. So that only left one logical explanation... and OJ had to find out if his intuition was correct.

"And you're sure you haven't seen Paper at all today?"

"Not once..."

OJ nodded in confirmation, his eyebrows furrowing in concern as he rose from his chair.

"I'll look into it... thanks for letting me know..."

He tried to appear confident as he left his office, but his steps came across as desperate and frantic rather than calm and methodical.

He reached his room, knocking on the door. There was no answer.

Again. No answer.

A third time...

"Paper?"

There was some shuffling on the other end of the door, and OJ could've sworn some sort of... shattering sound?

"Paper's not here right now. SCRAM."

The voice was sharp, snappy, and sinister. Rough and remorseless. OJ recognised it in an instant.

Evil Paper. Of course it was Evil Paper. They just couldn't rid themselves of the guy, could they?

OJ was... conflicted. He didn't want this to spiral into an argument... that didn't end well for anyone last time. But it was EVIL. PAPER. How could someone even try to reason with him?

He was probably even angrier due to being gone for so long, too...

...Well. OJ had to try, didn't he? For his own sake, and Paper's.

"...Hey there, E.P."

He tried his best to sound nonchalant and unaffected by his mere presence, but all that earned him was a bitter scoff.

"Iee-pee? What kinda name is that?"

"Well... 'Evil Paper' is a bit of a mouthful, right?"

The voice groaned at the mention of his name. It was more like his title. His label.

"Don't call me that either, jackass. I'm not evil."

"Well, what should I call you then?"

"Nothing. Leave me alone."

...Jeez, why was this so difficult?

"Hey, c'mon... I just want to get to know you a little better, don't be like that..."

The voice said nothing in reply, and the door still did not open. Not even a smidge.

A few seconds passed before the voice on the other side of the door finally replied.

"...Yeah right. You just came to lock me away again, like you always do. Like I'm some disease. You're nothing more than a glorified asshole."

OJ rolled his eyes at that, stepping closer to the door again.

"I really do mean it, though. I wanna get to know you... I mean, you're your own mind too, aren't you? Even if you are technically a part of Paper."

"Don't phrase it like that. It's not like I want to be tied to that pathetic dumbass."

OJ swallowed down the urge to defend his boyfriend. Under any other circumstance, he would've done so in a heartbeat. Now though... now he had to focus on getting through to this guy...

"Would you please just let me in? What's the worst that could happen?"

There was a beat of silence, like his question was actually being considered. Progress.

"I could kill ya. You ever thought 'bout that?"

OJ could hear the sinister grin in his voice. But he was smart enough to see through his bluff... well, he was probably bluffing. It still felt a bit like sticking your hand in a lion's jaw, practically waiting to be bitten.

"Well, you're not attacking me right now. You could be, and yet we're having a civil conversation."

"So? I could."

"But you're not. And why is that? You could've easily destroyed my hotel by now if you wanted to."

There was another beat of silence, and suddenly the door was flung right open.

There wasn't really much of a physical difference in Paper's appearance... just that his eyes were red and much wider than they usually were.

The first time he thought that looked nothing but menacing, but... this time, OJ couldn't help but think that he looked... cute.

It wasn't something he voiced out loud, though.

"See? Not that hard, right?"

"...I guess it wasn't. Whatever. I still don't care about you, if you think that's what this means. You can go die for all I care."

He walked in and sat on their bed, nodding along.

"Noted."

He was mindlessly swinging his legs back and forth, not sure what to say. This was... a lot more awkward than he originally anticipated it'd be.

"I haven't... really seen you in a while, have I?"

"Well I've been dormant. Kinda happens when your alter tries to crush you with a piano. Who could've guessed."

Ah... right, Paper had told him about that. The battle in his mind.

"Well... you said you're not just an 'evil' Paper, right? So I'm guessing... you come out more when you need to protect him, or something along those lines?"

"Yeah, I do. Term's fronting, by the way."

OJ nodded along, a smile on his face when he spoke again. He was getting somewhere.

An idea sparked in his mind, a small smile on his face when he spoke again.

"Looseleaf. How about I call you Looseleaf?"

He saw the way the sheet's hardened gaze seemed to soften, and the sight along made his heart glow a little.

"...I like that, yeah. Looseleaf works, I suppose."

OJ nodded, patting the bed beside him. One dramatic groan later, Looseleaf was by his side.

He instinctively reached out to hold him close, but refrained from doing so. This... WASN'T Paper. He had to keep telling himself that; Looseleaf probably wouldn't be comfortable with physical contact. Not yet, anyway.

But he noticed.

"Hey, it's... it's fine. I'm... fine with it too, I mean."

OJ's eyes widened a little in surprise, tilting his head at Looseleaf.

"You are?"

"Mhm. I don't usually... get much time to try to be close to people. 'Cause I only come out when Paper needs me, so everyone thinks I'm 'evil'. Like you said."

OJ felt a pang of sympathy for Looseleaf... that was honestly awful. Nobody deserved to feel that way.

"Well... I don't think you're evil."

"You literally called me 'Evil Paper' just a few moments ago."

OJ wore a look of mock offence, huffing to himself.

"Oh come on, that was just because I had nothing else to call you... would you have preferred just 'Paper'?"

"...Yeah, yeah, whatever..."

OJ slowly reached for his hand. Looseleaf was the one who took it. It felt... nice... his hand was protective, warm and comfortable.

"I wouldn't mind it if I got to see you more often, you know."

Looseleaf's expression is surprised, and he holds OJ's hand tighter. Almost like a death grip, now.

"Really?"

"Yeah... can I hug you?"

Looseleaf nodded, and soon OJ's arms were around his body. It was... he couldn't deny that it was wonderful. He supposed, that having gotten so close to Paper, OJ knew exactly where to put his hands while holding Looseleaf - and he could've bet his existence on the fact that it was some form of sorcery. He didn't want to tear anyone to shreds when he was like this; maybe Paper was rubbing off on him.

"Y'know... I love you too, Looseleaf. Not just Paper, but you, too."

Looseleaf's eyes widened. No, that couldn't be true, could it? OJ loved Paper, he knew that... but the way he was holding him, the way he was making him feel... blushing and warm, like his weaker counterpart...

"...Maybe I love you too. Maybe. I'll... have to think about it."

"That's okay. We have all the time in the world."

That wasn't really true, but... it made him feel a bit better. There was no rush on deciding what OJ was to him yet; he could take things as slow as he wanted. That was nice.

"...Thanks."

"Don't worry about it."

They stayed like that for a little while longer before Looseleaf slipped back into his and Paper's shared headspace. A small smile was still present on his face, one he didn't even notice.

Maybe... maybe OJ wasn't as bad as he always thought he was, after all.