Fridge Frenzy

...Okay... so far I've been porting these directly from AO3, but I think this one needs the chapter notes to make sense...

{This is a crack taken sort of seriously chapter. If you're confused, I asked Justin for payjay prompts during the stream they did yesterday (Superchat is around 2 minutes in) and they gave me 3 heh. So those will be 21 and 22 as well. Enjoy... whatever this is}

"Alright! Are we ready to go?"

Paper nodded along enthusiastically, having triple checked the entire hotel for anything that could disturb them or ruin their date. There was absolutely nothing.

"We're all set!"

OJ took Paper's hand in his own, a calm and pleased smile on his face as he led the two over to the front door, completely lost in the beauty of his lover. Everything was perfect... this was their moment, with no hotel, no residents, no Salt and no-

His phone, resting in the picnic basket, started to ring, and the smile immediately fell off his face.

He reached for it, about to hit decline, but a tender, melodic voice stopped him.

"No- don't, it could be important. I can wait."

OJ's face shifted a little in concern. He didn't want to postpone their special day out, especially since he had so many years of overworking himself to make up for... but he couldn't deny the truth in Paper's words.

"You sure?"

Paper nodded, peeking over to see who was calling. An unknown number...

OJ picked up the phone (JUSTIN PICK UP THE PHONE) and put it on speaker so Paper could hear them, too.

"Hello?"

"Hello. Is this the co-manager of Hotel Payjay speaking?"

"Yes, that's me..."

"Very well. I am calling to inquire about the state of your appliances?"

OJ's gaze flickered to Paper, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. A similar look was on his partner's face, as Paper spoke up.

"Well, they're all still fully operational... we're not having any issues."

"I see... and you're certain of this?"

"Yeah...?"

The voice sounded... oddly young to be any kind of inspector. And why would they be doing this by phone? What was going on?

"...What about your refrigerator? Is it running?"

"Yeah, I mean it's running okay, I just che-"

"Well you better go CATCH IT!"

Paper stopped dead in his tracks, gazing at the phone in OJ's hands, processing what'd just happened. This person was even laughing their ass off now...

OJ soon hit the decline button for their own sanity, looking back up at Paper.

"Who even was that? Cherries or Yin-Yang can't mask their voices that well."

Paper raised a hand to his chin, pondering the question for a while before answering.

"Well, surely they must be somewhere on the island, right?"

"That doesn't really narrow it down..."

"But maybe we can trace their location from these calls... Test Tube could manage it."

OJ's eyes widened at the idea, mouth slightly agape as he stared at Paper in a mix of slight fear and shock. Paper's first thought was resorting to tracking down what was probably just a dumb kid...-

"You really wanna track them down?"

"YES! We have the right to. I'm not in the mood to deal with this person's shenanigans. What if they call again? We need to arrest them."

"...ARREST THEM?!"

While OJ was plunged even deeper into that state of confused worry, Paper still wore that calm, professional look in his face. As if this was just another day managing the hotel and not him attempting to put a literal child in jail.

"Well, yes. They can definitely get arrested for this."

"I... don't think that's how that works..."

Paper rolled his eyes, shaking his head. Typical OJ... ignorant and close-minded...

"OJ, laws aren't exactly fair and consistent here. MePhone literally imprisoned 6 innocent people in a tiny closet in Hotel OJ, offering them no food or water and not allowing them a moment of sunlight. For 7 MONTHS. And he only got a DAY in jail as punishment. We can get this kid arrested too."

OJ soon realised there wasn't really going to be room to argue on this, shrugging to himself. Was it the most morally correct thing to do? No, no of course not, but he couldn't care less. This kid did bother him, and it was about time they learnt their lesson. Plus their sentence would likely be really short.

"Alright... to Test Tube it is."

-

Reluctantly, Test Tube agreed to their dumb idea, and they were now driving to the exact location of the prank callers. She was... scarily good at it, pinpointing their address within a matter of minutes.

Paper had been keeping an eye out... but they hadn't really seen much so far. The island wasn't the most urban place, after all. But eventually, he spotted what seemed to be some sort of shelter.

"There!"

OJ stopped the car, stepping out of it as Paper followed, locking it and walking up to the front door.

"...Huh. This the place?"

"Mhm. Well, according to Test Tube it is."

Paper took a quick breath, composing himself before knocking on the door.

He was met with... a pizza cutter, whose eyes widened in sheer horror as he stepped away from him.

"What- how did you find me?!"

That... admittedly, caught Paper off guard. This guy was a lot older than the kid he was expecting to find here.

"Don't question it. We're arresting you in the name of the law for continuous harassment."

"...Continuous?-"

Paper pulled out a pair of handcuffs - who knows where he got those - and much to the object's protest, locked them right around his wrists as he called the police.

Pizza Cutter was absolutely terrified, still shaking as OJ turned to him.

"Please! Please, I don't wanna go to jail, I-"

"...Why'd you prank call us?"

I-It was just a joke! A bit! I didn't mean for you to gr actually upset... please, I'll do anything-"

It was too late. A baton was already at the door, soon carrying the man away, kicking and screaming as they sped off.

"...Huh. I guess... that's taken care of."

"Suppose it is..."

Paper nodded, his mood entirely restored to the state it was in before, opening the door and heading back to their car.

OJ glanced at him for a few precious moments, that dopey, dazed grin on his face he always seemed to wear around Paper.

"Hey... you handled that really professionally. It was kinda hot."

Paper chuckled at the thought, rolling his eyes, but that didn't stop a blush from creeping onto his cheeks.

"Hahah... well... thanks... I was your lawyer for a while, remember? I know my way around this stuff."

"You really do... I'm glad it was handled so quickly."

Paper's eyes locked onto the picnic basket in the back seat of their car, still completely untouched...

"...Well... that was quite the interruption, but... are you still up for that picnic?"

"Of course, hun. I wouldn't trade it for the world."