Honeybush

"Eating is not merely a material pleasure. Eating well gives a spectacular joy to life and contributes immensely to goodwill and happy companionship. It is of great importance to the morale." - Elsa Schiaparelli

I woke up just before the sun rose. Sliding out from under the warm covers I threw on the fluffy dressing gown that was draped on the armchair beside me. Before I had fallen asleep Dylan had left some slippers beside the bed, for which I was now grateful. I made myself a pot of tea, taking the cup with me to back window. Snow had probably started sometime in the early morning because it was falling heavily. I finished my cup before throwing on my jacket and boots to go outside. I glanced at Dylan who was still fast asleep, looking so peaceful. Slipping out the back door, my boots fell through the thick downy snow.

Closing my eyes, I let the snow fall on my face and hands feeling each snowflake land on my skin. I blinked away the residual flakes from my lashes. Being out here in the mountains, breathing in the fresh air made me feel free. The suffocation I felt at home under the city pollution was something I had begun to accept. Middle school was torture, I could never fit into the social classes of the school. A quiet scholarship girl wasn't going to find her place in a rich private school where all the children looked down upon those less fortunate.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Dylan was leaning against the door frame in his own dressing gown. "There's something quite magical about snow. The way it falls, the way it feels on your skin. It's always cold before the snow, but after? After, the snow blankets the earth like a warm sheet. The skies clear and the white ground shines brightly under the sun. Did you know that each snowflake is different? The pattern can never be repeated. Each little flake is unique in its own way but it becomes lost in the masses and then you can see the beauty only as a whole."

I shivered as a gust of wind blew past, changing the course of the snowflakes. "I heard there will be a snow storm later, so it's best if we stay here tonight." Dylan suggested. I made my way back to the safety and warmth of the cabin, stuffing my gloves into my jacket.

Can I start the fire this time?

"Sure. If you need any help then give me a shout. I'm going to make some coffee. I love tea and all but I'm having coffee withdrawals."

Tea is far superior than coffee. It has some flavour, coffee just tastes bitter.

"Not if you have the right roasted beans, and if it's made correctly." He grinned mischievously. I just rolled my eyes and kneeled before the cold fireplace. Dylan had left a pack of matches beside the fire-poker. Almost immediately the warmth of the burning wood hit my face, thawing my frozen fingers. There was something quite hypnotising about the movement of the flames as it licked the wood logs. I liked how calming something so dangerous could be. I liked the blending of the colours, orange, yellow, red, flowing together under the breath of the air. Anytime my home became tense I'd burn through at least half a box of matches, just watching the stick burn close enough to singe my fingertip. The quiet flame provided a calm my household could not, helping me build a blockade against the terror I endured.

Who are you Dylan? I typed as he sat down beside me on the couch.

"I'm a barista. I provide a sufficient caffeine fix for those who walk through my cafe."

What you do doesn't define who you are. I stated.

"Agreed. So what do you want to know about me?" He asked, taking a sip of his aromatic coffee.

Why are you doing this? Why are you taking a complete stranger across the country on some ridiculous mission? I don't understand you.

"I'm discovering the world, just like you. I'm remembering all the reasons why I fell in love with life. There's always more to the picture than what we see at first glance. Take it in your stride and appreciate all we have because in an instance we can lose everything we love."

Have you lost someone?

"No. But I did lose something. A story for another time." He smiled sadly. "On a happier note, today is Thanksgiving!" My eyes widened. Was that unaware of my surroundings that I forgot what time of year it was?

Wait what?

"Just kidding, thanksgiving isn't for a few months but the couple who own this lovely cabin have agreed to help throw a nice dinner party. We're hosting so we better get cooking!" He laughed.

Great way to drop a bomb. I seriously thought I had forgotten thanksgiving.

"What do you normally do on thanksgiving?" He asked.

Sleep, cry, stare out the window. Nothing too joyful if that's what you're asking.

"What about your family?"

I don't have a family. Not anymore.

"You have you're parents..."

They're not my parents. Just drop it okay?

"Only because you asked so nicely," He stuck his tongue out at me childishly.

So what do we need to do? I assume there will be much cooking involved.

"You assume correctly. I have the menu planned. The landlady stocked up the fridge but the ingredients are quiet minimal so we're just going to have to make do which is my favourite thing to do."

And what's that?

"Improvise!" He grinned too cheerily for someone who was hosting a party later in the evening. I was never good with social interactions, they scared me. I hated being a the centre of attention and I certainly didn't appreciate the small talk involved. Dinner parties have always been awkward and confusing for those who tried to speak to a mute girl, not that I cared much for their embarrassment when they figured out I couldn't speak. Word got around and along with my friends, my family drifted away from me. All I had left was the solitude that lingered in my bedroom. Since finishing high school, I moved only to the cafe and the house never daring futher after the futile attempt at running away.

So I accepted my loneliness, became accustomed to it and even savoured it. I was dreading to see how this 'party' would turn out. It was going to be my first proper interaction with a large group of people, and that did not help the nerves I felt in my stomach.

"Are you going to sit there or are you going to help me? There's lots to do!" Dylan exclaimed as he chopped up some vegetables. I nodded and accompanied him in the kitchen. "So we have potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, mushrooms, broccoli, and chicken. What do you suggest we make."

Roast chicken and grilled vegetables? I suggested. I wasn't much of a chef, my diet mainly consisted of frozen vegetables and ramen and a range of freezer foods. Not the healthiest of meals I know, but it was the only thing my parents would buy. You could tell me to go to the supermarket to buy vegetables if I wanted to, but crowds frightened me and I couldn't drive.

"Okay what do you suggest we do for dessert? We need something to end the meal with." I opened the fridge to see if we had any fruits before heading to the pantry and collecting any ingredients I thought would be useful for a sweet dish.

How about a simple chocolate cake? I think we have all the ingredients for it here.

"Okay sounds like we have a menu! I'll start on the main and you can do the dessert. How does that sound to you?"

You can bake, I can't

"Don't tell me you've never even attempted to bake before!" He exclaimed.

I did when I was younger. It was a long time ago and I can't remember if it turned out well or not. I admitted. Back when I had friends, it wasn't a normal weekend if we weren't at each other's houses baking cookies or having sleepovers. I wish I could say I missed those days, but they were just a blurry memory in the back of my head. I couldn't even remember their faces if I were to cross them in the streets and they wouldn't want to talk to me if they recognised me. I never gave them a reason to.

"Fine, you can cut the vegetables without too much trouble can't you? I'll make the cake batter." He played some music off his phone while we worked, and I hated to admit it but I was getting in the mood. Dylan had the ability to make me loosen me up, he didn't even need to convince me much.

We had had picked up a good rhythm, with Dylan occasionally dancing or singing to the music. "So I think we're done now. Why don't you go get ready first and I'll lay out the table." He suggested. I nodded, thankful to be able to use the hot shower.

I just wore a simple cream jumper and leggings with long boot socks. It was the cosiest outfit I could put together. Dylan had rekindled the fire for the expectant guests, playing some calming ambient music in the background. He had just finished getting ready when we heard a knock on the front door.

"Hey! Come in," Dylan welcomed out guests. "Elise, this is Jane and Shaun." He pointed them out.

"Hey Elise, nice to meet you." Jane extended her hand out. I shook it, while nodding my head slightly. She looked a bit taken aback by my lack of response.

"I forgot to mention, she can't speak," Dylan laughed awkwardly. "I hope that it's not a deal breaker."

"Of course not!" Shaun said happily. "Nice to meet you." He gave me a hug and kissed my cheeks. The exchange was slightly awkward, but we brushed it aside before welcoming them in. "We brought you some wine." He handed over the bottle of red. I nodded my thanks.

"Why don't you guys take a seat. Would you like anything to drink?" Dylan asked.

"What do you have?" Jane asked. I felt helpless as Dylan took control over the conversation. I wanted to participate in the discussion but I just couldn't find my voice. The couple weren't intimidating so I don't know why I was feeling so scared by the company. They were a talkative yet friendly couple.

I'm sorry I can't speak. I lost my voice a long time ago. I wrote, having felt the need to explain my lack of presence in the conversations.

"That's okay," Jane smiled kindly. "You don't need words to have a conversation. In fact Shaun and I, when we first met we spoke completely differently languages so the only way we could communicate was through pointing and actions. It wasn't until we started learning the languages did we finally manage to speak. The language barrier never stopped up from falling in love, don't let your fear stop you from doing the same thing.

Perhaps some way down the line you'll find your voice again, you just have to give it time. Healing is a long process one that requires love and nurture to help it pass by smoothly." Her words lightened the burden on my shoulders, soothed some of the fear and pain that had buried itself deep in my heart. In so many years I felt like I could take control of myself, allow myself the happiness and be able to smile.

The way Shaun looked at Jane was really magical. He looked at her like she was the sun in his life, that she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. After six years together their love hadn't faded, it just grew. A pang of jealously sparked through my stomach before willed the negativity away. Dinner was a lovely affair, the pair didn't make me feel left out despite my lack of vocalisation. I did feel good in the company of these kind hearted people, who made me feel comfortable and coaxed me to communicate more even if it was by writing my thoughts out.

"Thank you for lovely dinner Elise and Dylan. It was a truly relaxing evening, always nice to meet new friends. Here's our numbers, hope to keep in touch." Jane smiled , handing up a slip of paper with their details, including email addresses. As she hugged me she whispered a few words.

"You should look at the way he looks at you. Quite a love you have right there." She winked before hugging Dylan and bidding us goodbye.

"That was a success don't you think?" Dylan grinned at me, pulling me into his body. I looked up at him and nodded. Even if my muscles couldn't smile I knew my soul was.

They were a nice couple. I liked them.

"I did too." He replied softly.

That night I fell asleep with a sigh of happiness. A feeling I didn't know I could feel again.