Flowery Orange Pekoe

"Meditation is all about the pursuit of nothingness. It's a quieting of the mind. It sharpens everything, especially your appreciation of your surroundings. It keeps life fresh" - Hugh Jackman

A familiar scent awoke me from my dreamless sleep, the scent of a fresh morning. I let myself relish the heat of the morning sun across my face, the delicate softness of the pillows and the silkiness of the sheets. When you're blind to the world the rest of your senses are heightened to compensate for absence of another. I could feel the steady heartbeat of the man beside me, beating out of sync with my own erratic tune. I could imagine our breaths, turbulent and stale, mingling in the stationary air. I couldn't here any birds singing, or rustling of trees in the wind, or even the sounds of nature outside my window. I was surrounded by silence, the kind of silence you could find peace in, except my mind could never focus. The wrinkles between my brows deepened as I tried to banish all thoughts from my mind- to achieve the silence I needed.

But we can never really be silent. If our surroundings are quiet are own thoughts fill the void. Screaming, angry and frustrated, within the hollow of our skull. The silence around us just amplifies the terror in our heads, the noise we can never truly quieten. Silence was my biggest enemy and I had fallen prey to it. My torturous thoughts plagued me like a metastasising tumour, growing uglier and uglier each minute.

My train of thought was interrupted when the hair on my skin rose as I felt Dylan shuffle beside me and my breath hitched as his hand accidentally brushed against my arm. My heart was beating faster and my mouth became dry as he sling an arm over my stomach. As I tried to pull away gently, so not to wake him, he instinctively pulled me closer and nestled his head in the mess I called my hair.

I hadn't been intimate with a guy for a long time, but just a simple touch from Dylan set my skin on fire. It was a feeling I couldn't control, a feeling I knew was irrational to have.

With Dylan around me, all rational thoughts fly out the window. I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't focus. I didn't like this lack of self control, the fact that he could affect me in ways another man had not.

I needed to find my solid ground again because my feet were walking on a tightrope that had been strung across Niagara Falls. I felt that any wrong footing would result in my downfall. A fall I was all too familiar with and I had no intention to acquaint myself with it again.

"Morning," his hoarse voice whispered into my ear.

"Good morning," I thought. I wanted to speak, I just couldn't find the words to say it out loud so I just looked him and blinked.

"How long were you awake?" He asked.  I just shrugged my shoulders. Time had lost meaning, it didn't matter if I had spent an hour staring into space or ten minutes. To me time had stopped and I was stuck in a circle of nothingness.

"Well I guess it doesn't really matter. What matters is what we're going to do today. Why don't you get ready and I'll get breakfast?" I nodded and threw the sheets off my hot body. From the look on his face he had unwillingly released me from his grasp but still continued to smile at me. I was stunned to see that he shone brighter than the sun when he dazzled me with his smiles.

I blinked in confusion as I was again left in the quiet with just my thoughts to accompany me. Before I knew it we were all packed and ready for our next adventure. A tingly feeling erupted in my stomach as we started our new day. The excitement and anticipation I felt was surprising, because all these days I've just felt dread in the pits of my body.

Where are we going? I typed into my keyboard.

"We're taking a helicopter to the mountains. Your next experience starts there." He winked at me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me in the direction of the helipad this observatory had. Somewhere along the path our hands disconnected and I felt the loss almost immediately. I tucked it in my trouser pocket, clutching my cell inside.

The helicopter, with the blades already rotating, stood proudly in the centre of the pad. Dylan rushed forward, and pulled open the door. He held out his hand and helped me into the helicopter before jumping in himself. Picking up a headset, he pointed to mine and told me to wear it.

"We have to wear it because it gets too loud." I heard his voice through the speakers. I nodded. The rest of the short ride I stared out the window, absorbing as much as my brain could soak up. It was incredible, absolutely breathtaking, to see the world from above. Sure we weren't that high up but high enough to see the stretches of forest, the river flowing through the valley, snow capped mountains towards the horizon. I had never seen such intimidating beauty before.

I allowed myself to enjoy the ride, and when we set down at our destination I breathed in the crisp, fresh air. My head spin a little from the large intake of unpolluted oxygen, but eventually my lungs began to adapt.

"We're going up there," Dylan pointed to a building in the distance that looked to far to walk in one day considering the trail that led there. "The villagers here are quite friendly." He said as we walked through their town. Luckily I had brought a jacket with me because the cold was biting into my skin. "We're going to need thicker jackets if we want to survive the night."

Each house presented its own business on the open porch. Dylan walked over to an elderly woman selling woollen coats. "Two please, one for my lady here and one for me."

"Any colour in particular?" She asked,her strong accent seeping through.

"No anything is fine for us." He replied with a broad smile.

The woman handed us two heavy woollen coats, mine being a dark green and his, a rich brown. He thanked the woman as he handed over the money.

"Next stop is to hire a horse to get us up there. It's precarious walk and these horses are supposed to be more sure footed ones in the world."

How did you find this village? I tapped on the keyboard.

"I'll let you in on a little secret." He grinned cheekily. He beckoned me closer to his mouth. "I googled it!" He whispered. I glared at him and slapped his arm. He laughed loudly, the sound tickling my ears.

"Come on. Let's go." Dylan urged as we made our way to the stables. The stables were surprisingly well kept, the smell of horse faeces wasn't too strong either. "They say that the horse chooses you and not the other way round. It's really quite amazing."

I can imagine. I thought as I walked past the horses. Dylan had already found his horse- a slender tan coloured mare. She was sweet and soft, nuzzling into his cupped hand. I sighed, as I continue to find 'my' horse. I had almost reached the end of the stables when a loud neigh echoed through. I looked towards the great stallion that stood proudly in his stall. His luscious mane whipped around his strong neck as he shook his head. Tentatively, I reached my hand out towards him.

As soon as I touched the bridge of his nose I knew he was the one. The energy that surged through him shook me. I almost reeled back in surprise, but I kept my hand on his nose. My body soon relaxed and began absorbing this new energy. I ran my fingers up and down his nose as he reacted to my touch. He closed his eyes allowing me to caress his face. This magnificent creature had just chosen me, something I was still unable to comprehend. When he opened his eyes again, the swirling brown iris' stared into mine. I found no anger or menace within them, just peace and love.

"His name is Black," Dylan said into my ear. Black. A powerful name for a majestic horse. I nodded towards his horse who was now saddled and ready to be ridden. "Her name is Tanner. I'll get the stable man to help you put the saddle on and then we should get going. I heard that heavy snow will fall tonight and I want to reach our destination before then." I nodded in agreement.

We mounted the horses and followed our guide up the mountain. The path was narrow and steep but the animals manoeuvred the obstacles without much difficulty. Once we had reach the monastery our guide bid us goodbye after taking the horses to the stables; they would be our guides down.

"You have to give your phone in. You'll get it back tomorrow." Dylan explained. I nodded and handed it over to the monk standing at the entrance. He wore a plain yet bright orange robe a complained by a necklace of wooden beads. Silently, he placed my phone in a locker and took us into the monastery.

"You will stay here for the night," he told us, showing us the room. It was a small and simple room with just two mattresses and a thick cover. We had a balcony that overlooked the snow capped mountains and the beauty beyond it. It was a postcard worthy sight, something you'd see in national geographic magazines. It was truly breathtaking.

I turned suddenly when I head the click of the camera. My eyes widened as Dylan's grin grew. "You looked so beautiful, I couldn't help myself." I glared at him. "So we can wash our faces and clean up a bit before we have lunch. Then we're going to meet the head monk, he wants to meet us." I nodded in acknowledgment. He lead us to the communal bathroom where the utilities were very basic and the water from the tap was lukewarm.

We joined the rest of the travellers in a square shaped room where we sat on the floor as we were served hot soup and bread. The food was well received by my stomach as it settled with the warmth. We all ate in silence, finishing quickly before the monks came and took away our crockery. An elderly man entered the room just as we cleaned our hands. He had an air of superiority and wisdom to him as he glided across the floor. This man emitted powerful yet calming vibes. My eyes stood transfixed to his as he approached me. "Come." His strong hoarse voice reached me. I lowered my gaze under his penetrating one and obeyed his order. Quietly we shuffled behind him, following him to a more spacious room which was darkened, lit by only candles placed around the room.

Three mats were placed in the centre, two beside each other, one in front. He took his place at the front and we took ours facing him.

"Close your eyes and listen to your breathing. Breathe in and out. Focus only on the air that enters your lungs and leaves it again." I followed his directions. The room was quiet and my thoughts grew louder to fill the void.

"Now focus on the outer sounds. The birds wings as the glide through the air, the winds that whips around the mountain tops, the flickering flames around this room. Focus not on yourself but what surrounds you, bathe yourself in the sounds of nature." I scrunched my eyes in the hope that the action would help me concentrate.

"Relax. You're too tense." The old monk said as he smoothed out the wrinkles between my brows. I released the breath I hadn't noticed I was holding and allowed my muscles to relax, feeling the tautness drain from my body. I thought of just a plain white room to help clear my mind.

"Every time a thought comes into your mind, just say Om. Throw the thoughts away before they enter your mind." I allowed all the thoughts, both positive and negative to leave my body. I accepted that my thoughts and my soul were two separate things, one of which I had control over. I was not my thoughts. I was the conductor of my thoughts not a slave to them.

I don't know how long we ended up sitting there but I was broken out of my trance by a gentle ring of a bell. Soundlessly we got to our feet and followed the monk to our rooms. "Sleep for tomorrow is an early morning," and he wasn't wrong about that.

The pair of us were up before the sun had risen, standing outside the monastery ready for a yoga session. We followed the monk's  exercises till the sun came up and shone brightly around us. I inhaled the lifting fog as we did the final pose, allowing the crispness of the air to expand my lungs. My mind felt clearer, my body felt happier and my heart lighter. I had never felt more free.