I'm Lost Without You

Stiles and Malia didn't question me about what they interrupted outside the station between Brett and me.

Stiles just raised his eyebrows, seeing my hardened expression.

"Don't," I told him, and he just nodded and didn't ask anything else.

It's been a week since then, and it's been hell keeping this from Liam. He senses that my head is somewhere else and keeps asking me about it, and the worst part; I lie. I tell him I'm tired and stressing over classes, the dead pool, and what's happening tonight; Scott and Stiles' plan at the hospital.

Again, I think it's a bad idea. I mean, yeah, with Stiles' last idea we caught the the guy trying to kill Brett, but this has a lot more risk. I overheard Kira's mom tell Scott that he could die.

Yeah, this is definitely a bad idea.

But here I am standing with Stiles, Liam, and Kira in front of a panel of computer screens that have been connected to the security cameras.

Everything is well and good and going as planned until we see a camera flicker out.

"Is that supposed to be like that?" Liam asks, pointing at the screen.

"No," Stiles replies in a worried voice. "Definitely not."

Of course not...

"Where is it?" Kira asks, leaning in to look at it.

"The roof," Stiles concludes. "Someone's gotta go check it out."

Not me please.

"I'll go," Kira says.

"Are you sure?" I ask her, a bad feeling in my gut. "It sounds like a trap."

"Yeah," Stiles agrees. "You don't know what could be up there."

Kira brushes us off. "That's why I'm bring this," she tells us, holding up her katana.

She starts to leave when Liam speaks up. "I'm coming with you," he exclaims as he runs after her.

"Liam, be careful!" I call after him.

I don't want to almost lose him again.

"I will," he calls. "Don't worry, you can't get rid of me that easily!" He flashes me a small smile over his shoulder before he turns a corner.

"Okay, but come right back!" Stiles yells after them. He gives a small chuckle then turns to me. "Kids."

I let out a small laugh even though I'm still worried about my brother.

What if it's the benefactor himself and he attacks them? I know they can protect themselves but so many supernaturals have died already and I don't want my friends in more danger then they already are.

Stiles and I stand there in silence watching the surveillance cameras for any sign of a potential benefactor.

"Are you doing okay?" Stiles says after a minute.

"What do you mean?" I say, playing dumb.

"You know I saw you and Brett outside the station," he tells me. "Something happened and you've been looking depressed and anxious all week."

I wince at what he says. I don't meet his eyes, but I know they're burning holes in the side of my head.

"You can tell me if you want," he says. "The pack is always here for you since you're now kind of a member since helping us catch that kid at Devonford."

I stay silent. I never really talk to people about my feelings except for Liam, and it usually works out fine because I can let all my emotions out in front of him. Now, since I don't want him to go after Brett, I can't tell him, and having these pent up emotions isn't helping my mood.

"I kissed him," I finally say.

"Well yeah, I kinda saw that," Stiles says, knowingly.

"He told me he liked me," I add. "That he's liked me since we met."

"So isn't that a good thing?" He questions, leaning on the table and staring at the laptops.

"You don't get it. He harassed and bullied Liam and I because he was trying to stop liking me," I tell him. "Everyday I got constant cat calls and snide remarks, but Liam got the worse end. He was always pushed around cause he is smaller. Brett and his friends on the lacrosse team, they mocked and goaded him. They put him down and blamed him for everything. One night, Liam came home with bruises all over his body. Brett and some other players brought Liam to the old abandoned zoo and whipped lacrosse balls at him. They said it was Liam's fault that they lost. They put all the blame on him. It was his first high school game. I love my brother more than anyone else, and I won't associate myself with people who hurt the people I love."

Stiles nod his head slowly in understanding. "But why did you kiss him then?"

"I don't know, and that's what's been troubling me all week," I mutter. "I don't understand why I did it, and why I can't stop thinking about it."

"You like him," Stiles concludes.

"What?" I sputter. "Have you not been listening to a word I've said? Of course I don't!"

"You do like him," he repeats. "It's just that you feel extremely guilty about it, and you won't go to Liam cause he'll figure out that you like him too."

"That's ridiculous!" I tell him. "I don't like Brett. I've only just recently stopped completely hating him."

"But you're hating yourself for liking him, and hating him for making you like him," he shoots back with a grin.

"Do not!" I reply, hotly.

Just then the room goes dark and the laptops wink out.

"What happened?" I ask into the darkness.

"I think the power went out," Stiles replies. "Dammit, why is this happening? We need to be able to see him come in."

The emergency power kicks in and so do the emergency lights, lighting up the room with a dim glow.

"We need to find Argent," Stiles says. "We are useless here now."

I nod and we head out in the hallways. After about a minute we see him and run up to him. He spins around pointing the gun at us. We both jump back, hold our hands up.

"The power's been knocked out," I tell him.

"We lost all the cameras," Stiles adds.

He lowers his gun, glancing around us. "Stay with Scott," he tells us, turning away and walking down the hallway.

"Come on." Stiles grabs my arm and pulls me back to where Scott is.

"Should I check on Kira and Liam?" I asks him. "They should have been back by now."

"I don't really think that's the best idea," Stiles suggests.

"I don't care. I'm doing it anyway," I shrug, making my way to the stairs.

"Whatever, just be careful," Stiles calls after me.

I hurry up the stairwell and through some hallways to finally get to the roof access. I swing open the door to see the scene unfold in front of me.

In the middle of the roof, I see Kira kneeling over a bloody body, her katana lying next to her. That bloody body happens to be my brother.

"Don't worry, Liam. You'll be okay. We'll get someone to help you. Just hold on," she tells him.

"Liam!" I exclaim in almost a shriek of horror. I run forward and fall to my knees beside him. "What happened."

"Berserkers," Kira says. Her hands are putting pressure on the wound in his chest, which isn't healing.

"Why isn't he healing?" I ask, panicking as I see my brother gasping for air as he slowly bleeds out.

"I don't know," she replies. "He should be healing, but I think I think the berserker got a lung or his heart."

"I can still talk," Liam gasps in a raspy voice as he winces in pain. "Kira go to Scott. You can't help me anymore. Go to Scott. He needs you to wake him up."

Kira's face is filled with pain and worry. She looks unsure about leaving me and my dying brother.

"Go," I tell her, my voice shaking. "I'll help Liam."

My whole body is shaking as she looks at me and give me a nod, quickly standing up, grabbing her katana, and sprinting to the door.

"L-Liam?" I whisper. "Why can't you heal?"

I cover the large gash with my hand trying to stop the blood trickling out of my twin as if his life was draining out of him.

"Listen, Lils," he rasps, reaching up to grab my arm. "I love you. Just remember that."

"No, Liam. You not dying on me," I exclaim even though I know I'm lying to the both of us. Even I could see as an amateur that the wound is fatal, even for a werewolf with supernatural healing.

How am I so calm? My brother is dying right before my eyes and I'm not even crying.

It must be the shock. I don't think it's real, but it is, and I need to do something about it.

But what?

I quickly pull off my jacket and put it over the wound to try to stop more of the blood, but it doesn't work.

"Tell Scott..." Liam faintly. "Tell Scott that it's not his fault."

"No, Liam," I whisper. "You can tell him that yourself. I'm going to help you. You'll be fine."

Liam smiles sadly up at me. "I can always tell when you're lying to me. I know when I'm dying, Lils."

"You not," I argue. "You not dying on my watch."

"Lily, I love you," he repeats. "I don't think I tell you that enough, but I just wanted to say that before I leave."

No, no, no," I moan, shaking my head as the tears start to slip down my cheeks. "You can't leave me, Li. "Please... I don't know what to do without you. I'm lost without, Liam."

He doesn't reply. He just grips onto my arm as he stares at me. I squeeze my eyes shut as lay my head on his chest, letting my tears run freely. I sob and my tear soak my dying brother's shirt. I sit there for what feels like hours, but it might have been only minutes or even seconds.

I feel Liam's hand squeeze my arm lightly then go slack.

That's it. He's gone. My best friend. My brother. My twin.

My Liam.

He's dead. I couldn't save him. It all my fault. If I got here earlier I maybe could have stopped it from happening.

It's all my fault.

My fault...

Suddenly, I feel Liam's chest rise and fall as if he took a deep breath. Then another. And another.

My head snaps up to see Liam's blue eyes open and alert looking around. His eyes find mine and his widen in shock when he sees me.

"Liam?" I say hoarsely.

How is he alive? He was dead and now he's back? What happened?

"You eyes," he gasps. "They're orange."

"What?" I don't understand what he's talking about.

What does he mean that my eyes are orange. They're blue. The same blue as his eyes. Orange and blue are on opposite sides of the color spectrum. It's kind of hard to tell them apart.

"Your eyes are glowing orange," he tells me.

"And you were dead," I reply in shock.

He lifts his head to look at his chest. Pulling off my bloody jacket, he reveals the wound, or where it was. All that can be see through the hole in his shirt is his smooth pale skin as if he never was injured.

Liam sits up so we are eye level now. "How...?"

"I don't know," I tell him. "And honestly I don't care right now."

With that I pull him into a hug and start crying all over again. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tightly.

I almost lost him again, but by some miracle he's alive as if nothing happened?

"You're alive," I breathe. "That's what matters."