Chapter 277

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◈ I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

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The Preacher III

“Reverend, did you cough?”

“Reverend, were you uncomfortable during the gathering last night?”

“Reverend, I’ve prepared your breakfast.”

“Reverend.”

My day-to-day life irrevocably changed when I confessed to being a regressor.

First off, the meals were unrecognizably extravagant—absurdly high in calories for an apocalypse.

So-hee had always been a frugal person. Even after the Church of Unhappiness grew in size, she never sought personal luxury. But no matter how modest someone might be in their own life, when it comes to their object of worship, all rational brakes tend to cease functioning.

That’s right. So-hee worshipped me.

“So-hee...”

“Yes?”

“You don’t have to prepare food like this. Everyone is already struggling to get by. Eating this by myself doesn’t sit right with me.”

“Ahhh!” So-hee let out a sharp exclamation without any warning, making me flinch. “I’m sorry! How could someone like me make such a grave mistake? You’re right! How could I dare serve such vulgar, worldly food to our reverend! What a foolish act! Ahhh, even hell would be too lenient a punishment for such a sin!”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that—”

“I will ensure this never happens again!”

The next day, after the overly luxurious breakfast was withdrawn, her sermons at the Church of Unhappiness included statements like these:

“Our reverend, the Undertaker, has proclaimed: You foolish disciples! I vowed to share clothing and food with the suffering believers, yet you present me with luxuries?!”

“The apocalypse exists not outside but within our hearts. Before you try to save the world, build a sanctuary in your hearts first.”

“Moreover, our Reverend has said: My dwelling place is not outside but in your hearts. Your most precious luxury is your heart itself. Placing me at its center is the only true way to serve me.”

The believers were ecstatic.

“Wooooooo!”

“Undertaker! We believe in youuuu!”

“Eternal life! Unyielding faith!”

The more I tried to dissuade them, the more I was deified.

Silently, I glanced at the books they clutched like sacred relics. The title on the cover read Holy Scripture of the Church of Unhappiness: Sayings of The Reverend Undertaker.

Where did it all go wrong?

Was it because I had delegated all organizational matters to So-hee while focusing solely on Anomaly extermination, allowing her to manipulate and control the believers freely?

Or had it begun from the moment I first entrusted part of my heart to So-hee?

Granted, I had comrades to consult, like Uehara Shino and Lee Jae-hee, but Jae-hee had already died in the Tutorial Dungeon. As for Uehara—

“B-but Undertaker-san, you truly are amazing, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“Besides, I don’t think it’s a problem. This world is already shit anyway... And being treated like a comrade by you and So-hee-chan is fine by me. I ate well yesterday too...”

She was not helpful in the slightest.

Maybe now you understand why I’ve always been so desperate to find competent allies. After bearing with original party members like this, meeting the Regression Alliance members felt like encountering actual saints.

Noh Do-hwa wasn’t the impressive one. It was me, who found someone like her.

Anyway, I had three choices laid out in front of me.

1. Leave So-hee alone: The tributes to me would escalate, eventually leading to proposals to construct the “Grand Undertaker Palace.”

2. Stop So-hee: My leniency would then be canonized as one of my “Virtues” in the holy scripture.

3. Expel So-hee from the Church of Unhappiness: I was already overwhelmed exterminating Anomalies. Now I had to manage a cult too?

A true no-win scenario.

If it were the me of now, I’d have handled it more cleanly or completely embraced my role as a cult leader. But back in the early cycles, specifically in the 3rd cycle, I was still naïve.

More than anything, I still considered So-hee a precious comrade. I believed that if I spoke my true feelings, she would understand.

“So-hee.”

“Yes, Reverend?”

And so, my past self made a direct declaration.

“I’m leaving the Church of Unhappiness.”

“What?”

“This kind of group lifestyle doesn’t suit me. This was your project from the start, and I just happened to tag along. I’d like to focus more on exterminating Anomalies. Who knows when the Ten Legs might march south?”

I watched as So-hee’s face went pale.

At the time, I didn’t realize it, but from her perspective, the god she worshipped had just told her, “I don’t like the way you look. I’m abandoning you. Goodbye.”

It was the worst decision I could have made.

“Wh-what do you mean, Reverend? If we’ve fallen short, we’ll fix it. Was our gathering too short today? Or was it—?”

I explained.

“Ah! I see! This is another trial, isn’t it? Right? I’ll serve you even more devotedly from now on. Yes?”

I explained again.

“Look at them, Reverend! Think of the believers! Some have lost everything they had and came all the way from Seoul and Suwon. What will happen to these lost lambs if you leave? Huh? Should I... take care of them?”

I explained once more.

“Am I... Am I not enough for you? Wasn’t I the one who stopped you from ending your own life? Or is it because I’m not [404 - Not Found]?”

I wasn’t sure if she understood my explanation, but as I spoke, one thing became painfully clear.

My comrade. The friend who had been with me from the start in Busan Station’s concourse. The benefactor who quenched my thirst day after day. The teacher who taught me meditation and helped me strengthen my Aura. The ever-kind So-hee.

She was far more broken than I had imagined.

It wasn’t apparent at first glance. Compared to the likes of Ah-ryeon and other obviously unstable people, So-hee seemed perfectly fine.

Her gaze was steady. Her speech was eloquent. Her hair was neatly combed. Her attire, though humble, had an air of tidiness. Yes, she preached some cult-like doctrines, but it wasn’t a big deal to me. After all, everyone in Busan either belonged to the Church of Unhappiness or believed in New Buddhism.

I even thought she had deliberately given me “extreme treatment” to pull me out of my mental slump.

“I see... I’m not enough.”

Once again, let me reiterate: my past self was woefully inexperienced. I didn’t know even the basics of how best to converse with my comrades.n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

“May I ask one question, Reverend? Are you unhappy right now?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s true that things have been hard. And it’s still tough, no doubt. But thanks to you, I’m much better. Thank you, So-hee.”

So-hee bowed her head. A moment later, she murmured something under her breath.

I couldn’t hear what she said, but looking back, it was probably, “I see.”

“Understood, Reverend.”

When So-hee raised her face, it bore the same familiar smile. The sight of it was a weight off my shoulders.

Finally, I thought. Finally, she understood. She might have still called me Reverend, but it was fine. These things take time.

I sincerely hoped that I could remove myself from the shell of this bizarre cult and return to simpler times, when we acted as comrades united against Anomalies.

“If you want to stop the Ten Legs from advancing south, you’ll need to head toward Seoul. Go ahead.”

“Will you be alright here?”

“Yes. I can’t help in battles anyway. I’ll stay and organize the believers in your absence.” So-hee clasped her hands together, as if offering a prayer to me. “Please, return safely, Reverend.”

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The plan to stop the Ten Legs’ southern advance was a complete disaster.

Of course, it was doomed to fail. Defeating the Ten Legs would have required gathering all the Awakeners across the Korean Peninsula into a united front, and for that, I would have had to work with Dang Seo-rin.

At this point in time, I had never even met Seo-rin, let alone cooperated with her.

Maybe she avoided me deliberately. I could only imagine what rumors she had heard about some weirdo cult leader who dragged a crazy church around with him.

When we didn’t work together, the guilds attempting to stop the Ten Legs were annihilated. I’m certain that even Seo-rin’s Samcheon World fell during this battle.

As for me? I ran.

To be clear, it wasn’t to save my own life. As a regressor, my life wasn’t worth that much.

“Everyone, run!”

I shouted to the survivors in the rear.

“They’ve all been killed by the Ten Legs! If you stay here, you’ll all die! There are no more Awakeners to protect you! Escape to the remotest areas, into the mountains, the islands, anywhere the Ten Legs can’t follow you!”

Even though I knew there was no hope left for the Korean Peninsula, I still screamed myself hoarse, urging others to flee.

In hindsight, it’s almost funny. Be it past or present, I’ve never stopped struggling until the bitter end.

Thanks to my unwanted fame as the Church of Unhappiness’s Reverend, plenty of people recognized me. Some refugees heard my warnings and even began packing up in earnest.

When I finally returned to Busan, Uehara was waiting for me at the outskirts of the city.

“Undertaker-san!”

Unlike So-hee and me, Uehara enjoyed wearing fine clothes. In that moment, however, she looked like a beggar.

“Uehara! Spread the word to the cult or anyone else you can find, tell them to evacuate immediately!”

“Wait! You’re speaking too fast. And right now, there’s a big problem!”

“A problem?”

She took a deep breath, still struggling with her broken Korean. “So-hee! So-hee-chan is... she’s gone mad!”

Following Uehara’s lead, I rushed toward the Church of Unhappiness’s gathering site. As we ran, she spoke in trembling bursts.

“It was... a gathering. A normal one, at first... So-hee-chan was... giving her sermon. But at the climax... it rained. The people who got wet... They started falling sick. Quickly!”

“......”

“They just collapsed... I always carry medicine... so I figured it out right away. That rain... It’s poison.”

When we arrived at the city, Busan was eerily silent.

In later years, Busan would rise again as a stronghold under the National Road Management Corps. Even back in the early days, it had been bustling with citizens in its own way.

Those people were gone.

The rain-soaked streets had turned to muddy sludge that splashed against my feet as I ran.

Uehara frantically warned me, “Watch out! That mud, it’s poison too! Here, take this!”

She handed me some pills, which I swallowed on the spot.

Back when we were a party, Uehara had handled our medicine and ensured our health while So-hee provided water to sustain us.

That was how it used to be.

Then we reached the gathering site.

“Ah.”

In the center of the field were thousands of corpses piled high. Rotting and bloated, they were all that remained of the congregation.

And there, amidst the carnage, stood So-hee.

“Reverend, you’ve returned.”

She adjusted her tattered priestly robes and stepped forward, crushing a corpse underfoot as she smiled brightly.

“Look! Just as I promised, I’ve ‘organized’ the believers for you!”

That was my comrade.

“So-hee...”

“There were some unpleasant rumors from Seoul, but I never doubted. I knew you would come back. After all, you promised, didn’t you?”

“What... What the hell is this?” I rasped, my voice trembling.

So-hee’s smile faded slightly. She looked at me with genuine concern in her eyes.

“My ability, it doesn’t just create drinkable water. I can freely generate both pure water and poison.”

“That’s not what I’m asking! How... How could you do this? Why did you—?”

“Reverend,” her voice interrupted me, calm and unwavering. “The truth is, I’ve hated this world for a long time. Every night, I prayed to God, begging Him to destroy it. I was certain that God answered my prayers when the world began to end.

“That’s when I realized... The God of our world is no loving deity. He’s a malevolent god.”

She clasped her hands together, as if in reverence.

“So all those people who speak of love and mercy, they’re wrong. God doesn’t want human happiness. He desires the exact opposite.”

Her eyes burned with conviction.

“Reverend, you’ve seen it, haven’t you? The more we chant curses of unhappiness, the stronger our Aura grows. Isn’t that undeniable proof?”

“......”

“When I was a child, my father often punished me with water. He’d dunk my head in a bucket, saying it was for discipline. I thought if I drank all the water, maybe I’d suffer less. So I kept drinking and drinking...”

“......”

“That’s why my ability is both ‘water to drink’ and ‘water to kill.’ Reverend, don’t you see?”

So-hee spread her arms wide, her voice rising with fervor.

“The power an Awakener gains is tied to their deepest wounds, not their greatest joys. It’s not happiness but the most painful misfortunes that makes an Awakener who they are!”

Footnotes:

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