Nokukhanya (Chapter 28)

Chapter 28

● Nokukhanya Ngwenya

Me and my big mouth. Entlek I should say me and big brain. It started with its nonsense, over thinking things then my mouth started running and when it starts it never really stops and this time it created some trouble for Langa. Jeez! Nokukhanya, couldn’t you keep quiet and let their business be their business and not get yourself involved.

Shoo!

I place King in my bed and watch him sleep. He is such a peaceful child and I just wonder if Mzwandile knows about him. Fikile is such a conniving bitch. How can she play Langa like this? For the fact that she let him marry her because he thought she was carrying his child says a lot about the type of woman she is.  Gugu is here with me and keeping Nonjabulo busy. My baby is such a happy child since we came here. She keeps stealing glances at me and it is starting to annoy me. Can she not say whats on her mind and stop looking at me like I have killed someone… oh well I know I just killed Langa’s marriage but what the hell. The look that she giving me is giving me the creeps.

“Do you want to say something to me?” I ask her.

“No…Uhm why do you ask.” Can I roll my eyes right now? Can I take my approval back? Because wow.

“You keep looking at me.” I say.

“Did you really have to do that though? Today?” She asks then pecks my daughter’s forehead.

Today?

Ooh I see.

She thinks I ruined her time here, doesn’t she? I take my daughter from her and put her next to King. Nonjabulo is my sweet baby, in a second, she will be asleep there’s no fuss and running around with her. She knows her bedtime.

“Look Gugu, this isn’t about you or me but Nonjabulo’s father. He deserved to know the truth whether he found out about it today or tomorrow it doesn’t matter. Ukuthi my mouth decided to run today that isn’t my fault. Whats special about today to you huh? That Lindokuhle brought you here so you can meet everyone because you two are dating? Look here Sisi neh, I don’t have time for all of this. If you feel like I ruined or taken your shine, then I do apologise to you. And, I don’t have to explain myself to you, or do I?” I ask her and she just looks at me.

I want to say I lot to her more like vent out my frustration, but I will not do that in front of the children and plus she just came here to be introduced to the family, us fighting will make her hate me more than I think she already is. So, I walk out after turning on the baby monitor. She can stand there and look after them for all I care. When I get to the living room everyone is quiet looking at Fikile cry. She is such an ugly crier. Look at her face. He is not here. He did he go to manje?

“You!” She charges to me, but Lindokuhle grabs her before she reaches me.

That was fast.

“Let me go Lindokuhle. I want to deal with this bitch. Couldn’t you mind your own business and stay away from mine?” She shouts.

“Where is Langa?” I ask instead.

“Nokukhanya stay away from my husband! Do you hear me? Stay away!” I look at one of Langa’s aunts and she nods her head towards the door letting me know that he walked out.

I go straight to his house and find it still locked. I’m not allowed to enter the main house, so I don’t even go there. I look around the yard and spot him sitting inside his car. Smoking.

Shoo!

Smoking?

When did he start smoking vele?

I messed up. Big time.

“Langa…” I knock by his window and startle him. He should have opened the window to let the smoke out. What is this.

“Please leave me alone.” He says through the window, and I knock again with force now.

“Dammit! Nokukhanya man! Can you ever listen? Just this once please.” I roll my eyes at him. Shouting at me shouldn’t have been the reason for him to open this damn window. He just opened his window to shout at me. Seriously.

“Langa open the door. We need to talk.” I bang his car.

“Leave me alone please.”

“NO!” I need to put my foot down on this, otherwise we won’t resolve this.  He watches me for some time then blow his smoke on me, I want to cough but I keep it inside, he mustn’t see that this is affecting me more than him. I messed up his life and I am here to make amends.

“Get in.” He says after a while.  I was even getting cold. He started the car and drove off at high speed.

“Jesus Langa! Slow down. Are you trying to kill us here? I’m still pregnant you know.” That caused him to slow down the car immediately.

“I’m sorry.” He says.

I don’t answer him. I fasten my seatbelt and sit property once I know I’m secure enough. Langa is very unpredictable right now.  He looks murderous. He is not okay. We have been parked under this three for quite some time now. I don’t know what to say to him and I have no idea how many cigarettes he has smoked, I’m sure he finished the whole pack.

“I proposed to her here. When she agreed to be my wife that was the happiest day of my life.” He says looking far ahead.

“Okay.” I answer him softly. I pray to God that we are not speaking about Fikile right now but his first wife because I know I will lose my shit if we are. He mustn’t start that bullshit with me.

“You know things were simple back then. Meet up, fall in love, get married then start a family. Why can’t it be like that with you?”

With me?

“Langa…”

“Nokukhanya if you hadn’t left, we wouldn’t be here right now. My Heart wouldn’t be hurting like this, and I wouldn’t want to kill the woman I called a wife for two years. That bitch lied to me for whole two years and what hurts the most is that my family kept it from me.”

Why is he blaming me for this?

“My own brother watched me go up and down worried about a son that wasn’t mine. Does he hate me that much that he can watch me suffer? Did you know about this also?”

“Know about what?”

“Please don’t lie to me as well.” He says softly.

I heave a sigh. Where do I begin to tell him that I had my suspicion, and I couldn’t say anything at the time because I would have seemed like the bitter baby momma. I know he is hurting right now but it wasn’t my place, until I had proof and I all I had to do was look at little King.

“I didn’t know anything Langa. I had my suspicion that was it and besides it wasn’t my place to tell you. First of all, Langa wena you are married to her and mina I have no place in your marriage. And also blaming your family for your wife’s mistake is not okay. Right know you are feeling like this because you want someone to blame and let me tell you something, blaming me for this won’t change the fact that King isn’t yours. And blaming your brother as well won’t change the truth. Fikile is the one that lied so deal with her.” I tell him and he just stares at me.

“I am not blaming you or uLindo. It just hurts that you guys knew, and no one told me anything.” I get where he is coming from, but.

“But Langa…”

“But Nothing babe. How would you feel if you were in my shoes heh? Wouldn’t you react the same way I did and what the hell is happening between you and my brother? Why are so close to me but me?”  He asks and waits for an answer from and when I don’t respond to him, he walks out banding the car door. How am I supposed to answer him if he is going to walk out like that after asking me a question. Sigh.

I watch him light another cigarette. If he thinks I am going to follow him in the cold and walk out from the warm of this car, he must think again. I wait. That’s the only thing that makes sense right now. To wait.

And wait.

And wait some more. I roll down the window and find him looking at me with a hint of sadness in his eyes. He looks drained, like life has been sucked out of him. Damn Fikile and her lies nxha!

“Are you okay now?” I ask.

“Woza La.” He reply’s me then puffs a smoke. ‘He looks so sexy right now, kissable even.’ My subconscious returns from her holiday. I must say I missed this bitch. And I fully agree with her on this, baby daddy surely looks eatable.

I look at him again and he stares back then winks at me. The Gods must be crazy. I am definitely crazy, see me going out to him after I have sworn not to do it.

Dammit!

I release a sigh then I open the door and go stand in front of him. Yes, I am going out to him, and the wind is so damn cold, I know I would probably freeze to death. This man is beautiful, even when he looks like this.

“Why are you so damn stubborn?” He asked tilting his head after pulling me towards him. I wasn’t prepared for this, his intense gaze on me and the warmth I felt from him holding me tightly to him.

“If it wasn’t for your stubborn ass, we would be married right now and maybe on our third born. Manje wena Nokukhanya Ngwenya, you ran away from me back then and left me with all this mess that’s fucking up with my head. I wouldn’t be standing here with you like this and wishing I can hold you forever in arms you would be in arms forever, yet in same time having the need to end that woman’s life for toying with my feelings. So, tell me Nokukhanya what should I do? How do I switch off my feelings and just ignore that my family betrayed me?” I think this would be the first time in my life if not second being like this, speechless.

I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t answer Langa, and this feeling was scaring the shit out of me, and he knew.

“It’s hard isn’t?” He asked again.

“Look Langa, you and I might have met in a wrong time, but I fell in love with you the moment we started getting close and I just had to get away from all that after I lost my Nana. I hated myself at the time because I thought I had broken up your marriage because you always had your ring on.” I tell him and he lets go of me then looks at his finger. He doesn’t have a ring on right now, thinking about it I have never seen him wearing one.

“Where is your wedding ring?” I ask.

“I had to take it off.”

“Why?”

“Because it was time, I let go of her.” He is talking about his first wife.

“Langelihle, I’m asking about your wedding ring, the one you got when marrying Fikile.” He looks at me like I have grown horns in my head.

“What?” I ask.

“We are not legally married.” What?

“Langa what did you just say?” We both and turn and find Fikile looking at us like her world just came to an end.

“I said we are not married Fikile, that’s what I said.” He repeated that to the both of us, his tone emotionless. Scary even.

“But… but… but we have a marriage certificate Langa, that we both signed.”

“It’s fake.” Yho!

“What do you mean its fake Langa?” She cries. I still say she is such an ugly crier.

Who is this man? I stepped back walking further back to the car, just to give them some privacy.

“Uyaphi Nokukhanya? We aren’t done talking!” I stop at my tracks when I hear his voice shouting at me, goosebumps spread all my body. I think I don’t like this side of him.  I turn and face them again.

“Fikile, I want you to go back take your child and leave my house. I don’t want to see your face.” He tells her and grabs my hand pushing me inside the car carefully not to hurt me though. I watch him walk around the car to go to his side. The moment he closes his door the insults starts from his fake wife.

I don’t miss the threat and promise in her voice when she tells me this isn’t over, she is coming back to take whats belongs to her.

Shoo!

What the hell did I get myself into?

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