Nokukhanya (Chapter 24)

Chapter 24

●Nokukhanya Ngwenya

If I knew that my life would turn out like this, i would have requested a uber for myself seriously. I should have ran away from this man from the word go. I blame myself for being here and being accused of being touched by a married man, ‘Well he was touching you and you were enjoying it.'

Argh!

Yeah so, I was, so what? I did not ask him to do what he did.

I watch my baby still hooked onto machines and the beeping sound from the machine is irritating me. Sitting here brings tears to my eyes. I should have been there when she got sick maybe we wouldn’t be here right now. If I didn’t go out with her uncle and dance on top of the table, oh I’m still trending by the way. If I ignored Lindokuhle that day, my baby would be in my arms right now and blessing me with her sweet giggles.

Only If.

“I am so sorry, baby. Please wake up for Mommy.” I whisper to her, knowing that I will not get any reply from her or hear her giggles breaks my heart. I sit in silence my hand still caressing her, wishing for a miracle. Despite everything we’ve been through this couple of days, especially with her father and her being here, I’m very grateful that she is still alive. I swear if I would lose her, her death will be mine as well, I would die with her.

I think I’m getting sick.

****

I have been sick for about a month now, it’s so weird one day I’m fine and the next its back to me throwing up and all that. My daughter is out of hospital now. She was discharged after I threw a tantrum when they wanted to put her in a coma to monitor her. I mean what the fuck is that, how can they even suggest that to me. Langa had to beg and beg me, but I put my foot down. This is my baby, and till she is old enough to make her own decision I will be doing it for her. If that other woman decided that was okay for their son that doesn’t mean that is okay for my daughter as well. Langa is something else I tell you, one minute he is making all the decision then one minute she is pulling him by his nose, just like my sickness.

I am sick and worse part I don’t know what is wrong with me. Stress maybe.

After my outburst, I suggested that we took her to his home, back to his roots. We are black people and if the western medicine and Doctors can’t find anything wrong with her then we need to go back to our roots and consult our own people. Mrs. Gumede was for all this the moment I mentioned it. The only problem I have is her father. I don’t know whats wrong with him, even his brother is not talking to him. That is why I am here now at his home to speak to him, more like beg him to help our daughter.

I’ve been sitting in my car for almost fifteen minutes, thinking if I am doing this or not. I just don’t want any problems with his wife, that woman can drive me crazier.

A knock on my window startles me.

Its him.

“Are you ever going to come in?” He asks after I roll down my window and the breeze bring me back to this moment with him here. I need to help my daughter and if means begging him, so be it. It’s for our daughter.

“Uhm… yeah… I mean…uhm Langa… eish this is hard.”

“You can’t beg, can you. It irks you begging people for help, especially me.” I open my door and come out.

Sigh.

“Why do I even have to beg you, Langelihle? This is for our daughter.”

“My son is getting better, him being put in a coma helped and wena your decision is final angithi but now that it is not working for you, you are here to beg me after not listening to me.”  He speaks. Irritated with me.

“It’s been a month, Langa. And King isn’t any better, please don’t try to make me feel bad by lying to me. I know he is still in a coma. And I’m sorry about that. I am not here to fight with you. I’m begging you hle. This is not about us Langa, this is for uNonjabulo, I don’t want to lose her please. We tried the hospital and the doctors, and it did not help with anything, we tried. Now it’s time for something else. You know me I would have done this myself and I wouldn’t have asked you for any help. But this won’t work Langa. It won’t work without you, and you know this. Please. If it doesn’t work, we can do it your way then, please. I’m begging you” When I finish there’s tears flowing down my face.

I never wanted to cry in front of him, but my baby means so much to me.

He stares at me, while I keep crying. Now looking at him through my tears I see how broken he is. I haven’t seen him since the fall out we had at the hospital. He lost weight yet he is still the handsome man I met years ago. I’m sure I will never find any fault with regards to his looks expect that he married Fikile.

“Please say something.” I say.

“I will call you.” He says, then walks back to his house closing the gate behind him.

What the hell.

“Fuck you Langa!” I scream at him. How dare he!

How dare he!

“Go to hell you asshole!” I scream again.

This hurts like hell.

****

“What did he say? Is he still giving you a hard time?”

“I don’t know what do anymore Lindo. Your brother is breaking my heart all over again.” I say after getting back up from throwing up.

“What’s wrong with you? You’ve been throwing up ever since I got here.”

I ignore him and drink my water.

“Your brother is an asshole; you know that right?” The look on his face tells me he agrees with me. Fuck Langa!

“You know I can take you and princess home and announce her as mine and we’ll see from there.” I only gape at him at his words as tears threatens to fall from my eyes.

He would do that for me.

“You would do that for me?” I ask shocked. Given our history, I’m shocked. We always wanted to kill each other and now this.

“Yeah, of course. I would do anything for you and her. You guys are my family. Anytime you need something I will always be there for wena, in a heartbeat Futhi.” He says making me cry. I’ve been a cry baby ever since my daughter got sick. Some days she is okay, some days she isn’t, it even gets hard for me to watch her cry and me not knowing what to do, I just end up crying with her. I’m all alone. My parents went back to England for Patrick’s operation, and they couldn’t be here with me. I appreciate the calls they do almost every day, however their presence would have made a difference. So, I appreciate him telling me this. It means a lot to me.

“Ahh sunshine please don’t cry. I mean what I say.” He pulls me close and places a soft kiss on my forehead before engulfing me with a hug.

This is the first time someone has offered their help to me without me asking for it, expect my parents. All the time I always must ask or just do everything by myself and for myself. His words are overwhelming me, in a good way though.

****

“You look nervous. Are you ready?” I extend my hand giving it to him as we walk behind his mother who is busy gushing over her granddaughter in her new expensive stroller.

I close my eyes as soon as my feet step inside the Gumede yard. Something in me changes, I feel sense of belonging. I think he feels it too as he tightly holds my hand and smiling down at me. He is also tall like his brother, sigh.

He leads me at the back of the house as I am not supposed to enter the main house. We find his mother and two other women with her already taking turns at my baby and giving her kisses all over her tiny body.

“Makoti.” One of the older women who looks like just my daughter says and the dramatic me looks back in a panic thinking that Fikile might have arrived. She is the one with the ring on her finger and Lindokuhle doesn’t even have a girlfriend the last time I checked.

“Ubukani emuva ngoba ngisho wena mina.” Then she asks me why I am staring at the back. She mustn’t start with me.

‘She might be drunk’

“Baby mama, sit down.” Then the one who invited me here decides to interfere and save this woman from my wrath. I’m only here to help my daughter out, no one told me anything about being someone wife.

I sit and greet all of them.

“We will do the welcoming tomorrow at dawn. We just waiting for her father to come through.” She says again. Which father is she talking about? The one that I begged and begged, and he still said no to me? Not that asshole, right? I throw a look at Lindo.

“But MaGumede… I told you that your grandson is stubborn, that’s why I’m here. I will stand in for him. Princess is not okay and Langa is dragging his feet. Maaa…. talk to your people. I thought we had an agreement. What is all this now?”

“No Lindokuhle, wake wayizwa kuphi le? This is not your blood. She is not yours to claim. You cannot fool the ancestors mfana wami. Call your brother and tell him he must be here before the sun sets.  Go show uMakoti indlu yakhe.” Whats happening.

He promised me that my baby will be okay. Whats all this now.

Damn these tears.

I guess this woman, MaGumede as they call her, her word is final. Because this one who promised me that everything was going to go well is pulling me up and his mother hasn’t said a word since we got here, she is just looking at me, probably feeling sorry for me.

“Oh, and Lindokuhle…. While at it. Tell your brother that he must bring me two big white goats. We have another life that we must announce and celebrate.” Suddenly everyone stops talking even the one who was pulling me stops walking and gives me a look that sends shivers all over my body.

“What?”

I don’t like the look he is giving me.

“Baby mama… are you pregnant?”

Argh!

Fuck you Langa!

Shoot me now!

“What are talking about? Please fetch my daughter tu and show me my house and stop asking me nonsense.”

“You need to be honest with me, if you want my help you are going to be straight up with me.” He says sternly.

“Angazi, Lindo okay. Please get my daughter.” I walk away from him and go straight to the only house that looks deserted here. My heart led me to it. I cannot be pregnant by that man again.

This house is beautiful. It feels like home. My home. It looks no one has been here for decades.

“This house used to belong to umaka Nonjabulo, Langa’s first wife. He built it for her. And look now, you are here, right inside this house and have named my second great grandchild Nonjabulo. Siyabonga boGumede.” MaGumede says with gratitude on her face. Damn this old gogo is beautiful. She has my daughter with her.

Wait… she said second. She has three great grandchildren, and I am also counting Langa’s late daughter. It’s her, King, and my daughter…. That’s three. I even count using my fingers and naming them again in my head. She smiles at me.

“Nokukhanya hlala pansi. Standing too long won’t be good for my grandson.” She pats the space next to her and like the good girl I am, I sit next to her.

“Umuhle.” I smile and her hand goes to my stomach and stays there. I widen my eyes at her while my baby is busy playing with her hair. She’s playing. She’s not crying.

“She is going to be fine. She was needed home, took you long enough.” Her hand is still on my stomach and the feeling to vomit again comes up and I stand up running outside, leaving her laughing at my misery.

It was never like this with my daughter.

Fuck you Langa!

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To be continued.

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