Nokukhanya (Chapter 22)

Chapter 22

●Nokukhanya Ngwenya

“Wena, if something happens to her, you will regret it, I’m telling you.”

These words have been in my head, running around and fucking me up since that day they came out from his mouth. Langa, pointed his long finger at me as tears streamed down his beautiful face and said that to me as if I meant noting to him. he seethed and walked away after threatening me. That was four days ago, and my baby is still in hospital. I have spoken to anyone since that day, I can’t eat or function. I practically move in here. I don’t know what I will do if something happens to her.

“Miss Ngwenya, do you need something to eat.” I turn to look at the nurse as she asks me if I need something, I mean how can I eat while my little baby is there sleeping and not moving and eating through pipes.

“No thank you.”

“Are you sure?” I nod and turn my gaze back to my daughter again.

This one time that I decided to go out and let loose something like this happens, this one time that I thought I was going to forget about everything that was happening in my life and my daughter gets sick. I wasn’t even reachable, no wonder he called me bad mother.

‘Where have you been? What kind of a mother are you leaving my daughter and going out?’

‘Wena, if something happens to her, you will regret it, I’m telling you!’

All the things he said to me, his words are still stuck in my head. If I am not worrying about Nonjabulo, his words come back to haunt me. Not being in control is driving me crazy. I’ve switched off my phone because that video that was posted is trending and everyone wants to be my friend, I’m being tagged and mentioned all over the word, ukuthi where they found my details I wouldn’t know, but that is a stress for another day.

Langa, has been coming to see his her everyday too, but whenever he comes by, I go and hide, I don’t want to see him, the look he gave me that day is a look I would never forget. He hates me. and I understand that he wants nothing to do with me and I don’t blame him, so I am staying away.

The door opens and I don’t bother to look who it is because I know its not him. my parents have been coming here to check on me. Sam even bought me clean clothes, but I haven’t gotten the chance or rather the strength to take a shower. I’m still wearing my short white dress, every morning I have been brushing my teeth and wiping the other parts that would embarrass a woman. I look and feel like a zombie, I don’t the strength to even breath when my daughter is lying here looking so lifeless.

“Are you ready.” He says the moment he walks in.

This one is something else I tell you, after his brother walked out, I lashed out on him. I blamed him for taking me out. I blamed him for forcing me to go out with him, I told him if it wasn’t for him my daughter wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t have been insulted by his brother, but he took it and understood that I needed someone to blame too.

“Ready for what?”

“To go to court?” He responds, clearly confused by my face.

“It’s today?” I ask getting up. I think I am going to faint.

“Yes, in an hour. We need to go now.” He walks out again.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, woza or we going to be late.”

“Lindokuhle, I can’t leave her alone. I know your brother is angry, but he won’t take her away from me.” I say following him and stopping just right out of the door. This is furthest I have walked since I admitted myself too.

“You are right, he is very angry and knowing my brother he will definitely take her just to prove a point. And we are not leaving her alone. Gugu is going to watch her. She was the only one I could trust since my mom is going to court too, she is just registering her name now. Woza sambe before siba late.”

Gugu?

When did they happen?

I surely missed out.

******

Everyone is here, as expected. There is support in his family. We walk in and in my mind, I’m thinking that Linda is going to sit by his family, but he shocks me as he goes to sit next to Sam. Our eyes lock when I look up to him and I feel a piece of myself dying. He still looks angry. I shift my eyes when I see his wife holding his hand next to him probably to make a statement that the man is taken.

I wish things were different with us. I wish I was the one sitting next to him and holding his hand like she is right now. But those are all just…. wishes.

Sigh!

“All rise!” I cannot believe we are here fighting for our daughter. One day she is going to know about this and the parent who is going to lose will be blamed for not fighting harder for her. I don’t want that for her, and I am going to make sure that I’m not that parent.

“What are you wearing?” Sam whispers next to me but my mind is not here. I ignore her and drift away with my thoughts as the two lawyers start fighting.

.

.

.

“There is no need for all of this your honour, my client is open and all for co-parenting with the father.”

“Objection your honour! My client wants full custody of his daughter, the mother failed to notify my client that she was expecting, and she kept the child away from my client for two years and not to speak about the recent events that occurred, dancing on top of tables and drinking while the child was home sick! She knew she was sick, yet she still went out to drink! That is not a responsible mother!”

My tears make an entrance and I allow them to fall. He is right, I wasn’t there when she needed me. I sit, head faced down as I listen to my lawyer and his going back and forth fighting on who deserve to be a parent to our daughter. I’m not even sure when the judge walked out to decide on her ruling. Its when Lindo comes and kneels before me to give me some water.

“You still good?” I nod my head still face down.

“Don’t stress, I will make sure she stays with you.” I offer him a weak smile before he walks away to his mother.

“Sunshine…”

“He is going to take her away from me Sam, he is going to win this. Did you hear what his lawyer was saying about me. I am going to lose my baby girl.” I stutter as tears stream down my face. At this this point I don’t care who is looking at me. I am going to lose my daughter; I just know it and Langa doesn’t care.

“All rise!”

“The court has come to a decision. I have gone through all the evidence that was brought to me and I have made my final decision. This decision will be in favor of the child, and we take her best interest at heart. With that being said, the full custody of Nonjabulo Ngwenya is awarded to Langa…” I cut her off. My thoughts still raging but I'm trying my best to calm them. As I stand up.

“Langa, I will do it!” I scream at the top of my lungs shocking everyone. I move from where I’m sitting going straight to him and ignoring my lawyer, the judge, his wife next to him and everyone else calling me to take my place and to respect the court.

“Please don’t take her away from me. I will do it. I will marry you Langa!” My tears make an entrance and I allow them to fall again but he’s not moved, if anything, he seems to be getting angered by what I’m saying to him.

“What the fuck!” The wife screams at me.

“Order! Order!” I’m sure this judge is very pissed at what is happing in her court.

“I will marry you Langa, please don’t take her from me.”

“Order! Order in court!”

“I’m sorry your honor, but he can’t get my daughter, she’s all that I have. Please. Langa say something, please.” I beg him while wiping my nose with the back of my hand.

“You shameless girl! First you sleep with my husband and now you want to marry him so you can keep your bastard child!”

“FIKILE!” he roars, completely startling me and everyone as the room goes completely quiet.

“Why would you call me daughter a bastard?” He asks through gritted teeth.

“I’m sorry...it just…”

“Shut up! Never call my daughter that, you hear me.” He says then walks out. I follow him.

I did say I was going to do anything to make sure that I am not that parent. My heart stopped when the Judge was about to give him full custody. That woman, how can she judge me without knowing me all because she saw a video of me dancing on top of tables then suddenly, I am a bad mother.

I find him sitting outside in a bench just outside the court.

“Langa…” I call for him in a shaky voice. He doesn’t acknowledge me.

“I’m sorry… please don’t take her away from me.” I go down on my knees and kneel In front of him. Taking his hands on mine. And ignore the sight of his wedding ring on his finger.

“Nokukhanya…”

“Please…” I beg once again.

“You shouldn’t have done that in front of my family.” What does that mean.

“I know and I’m sorry, but what choice did I have? She was about to give her to you.”

“And what is wrong with that mmmh? Am I not her father? Can I not raise her as well?” This man.

“Of course, you are her father, Langa. Please don’t do this.”

“You don’t get it, don’t you? I asked you nicely to meet me halfway and as always you took your time and completely ignored my suggestion and requests.” What suggestion? He is the one that summoned me here.

“What request are you talking about?” He looks at me the longest. I might have missed something here and I’m trying so hard to think what I missed.

“This is a mess.”

“Don’t do it. I will marry you and we will raise her together.” I suggest and he keeps quiet.

“Full custody, Langa?” I ask him and he deeply sighs.

“What is wrong with that? You had her for full two years without letting me know. I deserve a chance to be in her life too.” He stands up pushing me away in the process and walks away leaving me like that.

“Langa!” He walks away.

I watch him leave and then he gets in his car and drives off, leaving me with my tears and snots.

Dear God if you are listening now, please don’t let this man take my child away from me. I pray.

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