Nokukhanya (Chapter 20)

Chapter 20

●Nokukhanya Ngwenya

“Are you not going to let me in?” She asks with a grin and my eyes goes straight to her big belly.

How the hell did she find me? That’s all I want to know and damn this stupid security company for not notifying me.

Argh!

And damn my brain, this bitch, for deserting me right now because I just had a brain freeze. I mean how can I have brain freeze at this moment? When I need ‘her’ sarcasm to annoy people and mostly me, my brain doesn’t come out to play.

Eish!

I should be happy that she’s here with me after two years of not seeing her right? But I feel otherwise. After I left, she cut me off. At first, I thought it was her hormones, but she blocked me until today. I did try to get hold of her once I was settled in this side, but she never met me halfway, so forgive me for not being ecstatic because she is standing at my door with an ugly big nose and big stomach.

“Are you not going to let your sister in?”  I don’t have a sister.

Eye roll.

Damn! She looks older than me and last time I remember me and her were the same age.

“Come in, Cindy.”

“Still rude, I see.”

“Why do you care?” I ask and laughs alone.

I watch her sitting down at my expensive couch feeling at home. I don’t remember telling her to feel at home.

“I’m hungry. Can I please have something to eat.” Another eye roll.

I make my way to the kitchen to make the queen something to eat. Besides the fact that I want to strangle her to death right now watch her die and cry for two minutes then wake her up again for cutting me off in her life where we promised each other that it was us against the world until our last breath in this earth, I still love her dearly and I am only making her food because of the baby she is carrying.

“Please hurry, my baby is hungry.” Hayibo!

'Can she go back wherever she crawled from? ‘Bitch don’t lie, you are happy that she is here with you.’

“Thank you.” She says as she finishes her sandwich. She should be grateful that I made it with love or else she would have choked on it...

“I missed you.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Its true and you know it.”

“You cut me off, Cindy.”

“It was for the best.” She says.

“Best for you maybe.”

“Trust me it was for the best, look at you.” She looks at me as I stand up from the couch and start pacing up and down. Lately I have been doing a lot of walking around when I feel cornered, I did the same thing with that man.

Sigh.

She mustn’t start with me not when my emotions are this high.

“Nokukhanya…” Deep breath.

“Hhai Cindy! It was best for you. Not for me! You just cut me off from your life, just like that. So don’t sit here and tell me it was for the best for me because it wasn’t. I lost my grandmother for heaven’s sake! I needed you dammit! And you had to listen to your stupid sister telling you I was ‘strong’ and old enough to take care of myself, when you look at me do you see a strong person yeh? Well, now I am but then I wasn’t back then I needed you, and you knew that, yet you listened to that bitch!” I finish my rant she looks red ready to kill me. well, the bitch must bring it on.

“Hey! Watch your language, she is still my sister.”

“Ohh! So, its true blood is thicker than water neh? I thought I was your sister too…”

“You are! That came out wrong. Nokukhanya listen… come sit down please, so we can talk like grown up people. You are making me dizzy. This pregnancy is driving me crazy. Please sit down so I can explain myself.”

Damn this these tears. I’m crying because I love her. She has been the only family I had and hearing her calling Carol her sister while we both despised her breaking my heart.

“Please come sit down tu.”  ‘Bitch don’t sit down. Let her suffer. She should feel more guilty and let her be dizzy till Jesus comes back’

“Please.” Begging doesn’t suit her seriously. I draw in a deep breath, wiping my tears before I go and sit opposite her and watch her sigh. What did she think I was going to be next to her? She must apologize first.

“Firstly, I would like to apologize. I’m sorry for abandoning you when you needed me the most, I’m sorry. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing by letting you figure out things yourself, I have always been shielding you like the little sister you are, and it was time for you to grow up and be independent. I’m sorry it took that time for me to finally let you go and be on your own. Looking at you khona manje I don’t regret my decision and for your information I did not listen to Carol, I don’t know what your heard, but my sister and I don’t get along like you and me. I have been forcing Jabu to take me to you ever since he heard where you stay but my pregnancy is a risky one and …” I cut her off.

“How does he know where I stay?”

“He works for your baby daddy.” I raise my eyebrow at her. She must continue phela. She knows a lot.

“After you left, Langa offered him a job and he has been working for him ever since. He was even promoted that’s why we are here this side. He will be working as the acting CEO until the boss returns from his leave.”

“What!”

“Yeah, shocking I know.”

Jabu yena yedwa? What is this. Don’t get me wrong I am happy that it is something that I know but I never picture Jabu in the corporate environment. And for that man to decide this without informing is just so wrong in so many ways.

“Yeah, it is shocking.”

“Please forgive me. I miss you.” She says after a while of silence. It's time to grow up I think I have I embarrassed myself enough. I did well for myself this past two years and I’m sure I will continue to do so with her or without her either way, I am capable.

“I forgive you Cindy.”

“You mean that? You not just saying that right?”

“I do mean it. You know me I would never lie to you.” We spend the rest of the day catching up and her letting me in on all the things I missed the past two years.

.

.

.

I don’t know what I did to deserve such loving and caring parents, but I am grateful I met them. I even thank God that day it was raining because thinking about it now, Patrick wouldn’t have even looked my way if I wasn’t drenched. I watch him placing my sleeping daughter in her bed and I know for sure that its going to be long night for me. Princess will be awake in a couple of hours and her grandparents won’t be here. He follows me back to the kitchen where same has warmed up the food for us.

“How was your day.” Patrick asks.

“Agh! I think I need a new place.”

“Why is that?”

“People just come and go without the security notifying me. Cindy was here.”

“Your childhood friend.?” I narrate the whole scene to them, even the drama that happened in the office earlier on.

‘Yeah, we cool now.”

“I’m glad that you guys made up, but please set limits and boundaries and just make sure you guys at the same place. It will take time for you to go back where your relationship was. You are both mothers now and I don’t want you to be fighting with everyone.” Sam says.

“Speaking of fighting, when are you going to have a conversation with Langa about my granddaughter? Do you need a lawyer? Is he still going through with the custody?”

“I think I do. Every time I’m in the same room with him we end up fighting and looking at how things are now I don’t think we are going to reach an agreement.” Or we end up with our clothes off, but I don’t say that out loud to him.

He nods.

After dinner Sam helps me with the dishes and they leave, leaving me tired. I decide to watch a movie just to push time, American Son, I am not sure why I even decided to watch this, it’s so heart breaking that I end up crying the entire movie. I would die if I ever had to lose my daughter and probably turn into a killer first before dying.

I go check up on my daughter and to wash my face because of the crying I just did. There’s a knock when I come back from my room and when I check the time, it’s very late for visitors.

When I open the door, there stand the man who has my heart. I tried dating after him but all the man I have met up with I saw him in them, that’s why I stopped. I couldn’t string them along and wasting their time.

He clears his throat and greets me. he looks very tired, like he aged since I saw him this morning.

“Hey…”

“Uhm…hi.” I greet back.

“Can I come in. Please.”

“Why?” I ask, not sure why he would want to come in here after he wasn’t sure if he meant what he said. He is just here to mess with my heart. ‘And to get into your pants.’

“Please.”

I ignore him.

“My son…my son stopped breathing; I need to see…” He stutters and I stop breathing for a second.

I feel sorry for him. What is this? I blame that movie I was watching I was crying because the thought of my daughter missing will tear me apart and right now, I am watching Langa fall apart because his son stopped breathing.

“She is asleep... Its late.” I say softly. Ignoring the feeling to kiss him and me wanting to hold him and tell him everything is going to be okay; I don’t have that right. He must return to his wife. He walks away after telling me that he will come back tomorrow to see his daughter

‘Don’t do it! Khanyo you are going to regret this! Don’t do it! Let him leave he will come back tomorrow.’

Agh!

“Langa?” I call out and get a middle finger shown at me from my own brain. He turns and mumbles something I cannot even hear. I walk out so he can hear me say…

“Do you want to talk about it?”

We both get in and I dish up for him, he asks for another plate. Doesn’t his wife feed him?

“Thank you.” I have never seen him like this, broken.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask after a while of awkwardness between us.

He sighs.

“I don’t know what happened, he just stopped breathing and the doctors can’t see anything and it’s driving me crazy that I cannot do anything for him, he is just a week old Nokukhanya. Wy is all of this happening to me. nawe ngapha you are fighting me with regards to our daughter. Can’t you meet me halfway. Don’t I deserve to be happy as well?” Woah!

How did we move from his son to me?

“I’m sure he will be fine. He cannot just stop breathing and then they cannot find anything wrong with him unless you angered your ancestors or something like that. Do you believe in those?” He looks at me like I have grown two horns.

“What?” I ask.

“Did you something for our daughter the time she was born?”

“Ngiye ngapahla. And I asked my parents and my Nana to look after her. She the only person I have Langa, and I will do absolutely anything for her, if it means I must believe in God nabaphansi so be it. You should take your son home, if the doctors cannot find anything wrong with him then you try the…”

I stop talking when his hand lands on my chin, forcing eye contact from me. He holds me close and rest his forehead on mine.

“I love you Nokukhanya.” He whispers softly. Before I even catch my breath, his lips touches mine and just like that I’m gone.

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