Nokukhanya (Chapter 17)

...17

●Langa Gumede

I have never met someone as crazy as this woman who has my heart. Why would she kick me out in the middle of an argument and plus I still need my answer if she is agreeing to be my wife or not. I watch her as she paces up and down her apartment. I just sit down and switch on the TV, scrolling through the channels. She has another thing coming if she thinks we are not going to resolve this matter today. If it means I must spend the night here, so be it.

“Langelihle, what are you doing? I asked you to leave. Get out!” I ignore her. Who knew that MasterChef was this interesting? I should try cooking that, what is that? Chicken? It looks like…aargh! I don’t know what it looks like but I’m definitely cooking that for her and our daughter. I record the entire episode because I know for a fact that I will not remember the recipe.

“This man is trying me. Langa phuma kwami!” She screams.

I ignore her.

“Yewena Langa, I said get out. Why are you still here?”

“Yey! Yey! You need to stop being childish and come sit down so we can talk.” I say calmly and she rolls her eyes.

“Please leave my house. I need to fetch my daughter.”

“Our Daughter. I told Patrick that we will fetch her later. Mina nawe we have a lot to resolve, and we are going to do it today. So, are you going to be my wife, or must I go ahead with this?”

“Yho! This man! Are you okay in the head Langa? I mean konke kuhamba kahle? I might be crazy but wena….wuu shame, you take the cup! You are married Langelihle with a child on the way! Who in their right mind behave like this? Who gave you the right to contact my parents and make decisions for me?” She yells coming at me like thunder. She looks dangerous so I move from the couch so I can far away from here as possible.

“Answer me dammit! Who gave you the right to do that?”

“You need to calm down first before I can reply to you, please.”

“Mxm! You are so full of shit you know that? And I regret ever sleeping with you. My life wouldn’t be this messy if I stayed away from you. You are messy Langelihle Gumede.” I hope this was a hit of a moment tis, I hope she doesn’t regret anything because if we didn’t have sex that time, we wouldn’t have our daughter.

“I’m sorry.”

“Please leave me alone, please.” She begs with teary eyes.

Isn’t it strange that at this moment all I want to do to her is hold her and tell her that I love her? That I loved her the very first time I saw her, and I haven’t stop throughout all these years. What she is asking from me right now is breaking my heart. I don’t see myself leaving her alone. Not today, tomorrow, and definitely not forever. It’s not happening.

My phones rings from my pocket and I ignore it. I want to fix my mess with the love of my life before anything else. She is top priority right now and seeing her crying is tearing me apart.

“You phone is irritating me. Answer your phone.” That’s the first thing she says after a while of me looking at her cry. She likes doing this. Break down and come back rude afterwards, like she is afraid and feels some type of way that she lets people see her sensible side which I find very sexy because it’s not always that you see it.

“It’s not important.” I tell her and she raises her head with her eyebrow raised and faces me. We back at the couch again and sitting close to each other and her staring at me like this just powers me to move forward to her and kiss her.

I kiss her.

I’m kissing her and for few seconds she is not responding to my kiss. She tenses and I stop.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’ve been apologising since you got here.” She rolls her eyes and I kiss her again. My tongue plays with hers and she moans in my mouth, driving me crazy. Her lips are soft so soft, and I don’t want to pull out from it. I hold her steady as I lay her down on the couch and get on top of her. A beautiful thrill runs through me as she bits my lower lip. She wraps her arms around my neck, and I groan as she starts grinding below me. I’m glad that she has the same effect I have on her. I pull out. Her eyes are closed. She is very beautiful much peaceful that the rudeness she has is forgotten. I kiss her again her she attempts to open her eyes; I know she is that addictive. My lips move to her neck, and she tilts to the side to give me more excess. My body comes alive when I realise that she wants this as much as I do. She wraps her legs around my torso, that causes me to groan in her month.

“Nokukhanya...” I breathe.

“I love you.” I think I’m going crazy with lust. I cannot think straight.

“Marry me. Please.”

“You need to leave…” she says breathlessly.

She is out of her mind if she thinks I will be leaving all of this behind. She is mine and mine alone. I feel empty as she unwraps her legs from me. Before she regrets this any further, I pull her dress up, panties to the side and push my pants down and rub my boy against her opening, she is ready for me. I push in hard and she bites my shoulder suppressing her screams. She is still tight as the first time I went in.

This is heaven.

This is home.

My home.

*****

●Nokukhanya Ngwenya

Yes, I am a homewrecker, a hoe, a slut you name it. But why do I not regret it? In fact, I want more of whatever this might be at the same time I don’t want ruin his marriage. We went through with our sin, making love and fucking in between the whole night until he had to leave. That wife of his gave birth in the earliest hours f this morning. And I was looking for a look of regret from him and I find none as he kissed me goodbye before he left.

‘You are playing with fire Khanyo and you are going to get burnt. We need to buy a fire extinguisher and fast.’ I roll my eyes as I start cleaning up my room. It’s a mess. Langa was like a hungry Pitbull who just wanted to feast on me. Everything is all over.

I’m standing in front of my mirror, naked. I’m not sure what exactly I’m looking for. Disappointment or remorse maybe…but there is none, I think or maybe I’m just thrilled that I did it with him and only him. He cheated on his wife not me. I’m not married and I’m not n a relationship with anyone, so I don’t have to explain myself, but he does. I should stop thinking about this before I lose my mind.

‘He said he loves you and wants to marry you. Did he meant what he said or was it because he was on top of you?’ Where is coming from manje? I though I locked her away when she started bubbling about fire extinguishers. This bitch.

Did he mean it. My heart is divided. I want to believe him, but he belongs to someone else.

Sigh…

There’s a knock. I stand up and go to attend to whoever is at my door. Its Sam. I move aside for her to come in.

“Patrick took her out for ice cream, and I was bored.” She makes her way to my fridge and take out a bottle of water.

“What is wrong with you?”

“With what?”

“You look weird.” I shrug while closing the door and going back to the couch. I stand still when I remember that we did not use a condom. Such carelessness.

“What’s wrong?”

Shame, she looks worried. I wonder what she is going to say when I tell her that I slept with my baby’s father without protection just like the first time. what if I get pregnant again? ‘Argh! Way to go Nokukhanya I’m sure your grandmother is turning in her grave.’

“You know you can tell me anything.” I look at her and break down for all the guilt that has been eating me since I moved from my mirror. I feel guilty because I am going to break another woman’s happiness, yet I don’t regret sleeping with her husband.

Mom holds me as I cry in her arms, ever since her and Patrick came into my life, they have never seen me cry. She kisses my crown repeatedly while rubbing my back to calm me down. I pull back after I feel like I have cleanse myself from the guilt.

I heave a sigh and tell her.

“Langa was here last night.”

“I know. He called and asked us that we keep Sunshine for the night. Did you guys’ fight.” I wish we did only that.

“We had sex.” I say shamefully.

“Oh, Baby.” She says sadly.

I continue to tell her from the begging of our fight till he left this morning because his wife gave birth. This is bad from my side. What if he meant what he said, what if he really wants to marry me so we can raise our baby together. But do I want to be second best? do I want to be involved in a three-way relationship.

“Do you love him?” She asks.

“What? No! Of course not.” I lie. My hearts says the opposite than what my mouth is telling my mother right now.

“Then forget about him. Ask him if he has another option for you to raise my granddaughter without fighting for her.”

“He said marrying me was his last option.”

I hate this. I hate feeling in between.

“I need to see him.”

“You are going to him right now.” She inquires as I changed into a jean and a hoodie with sneakers. I have to see him. I need to make sure that he meant what he said last night. He needs to repeat what he said to me while he was on top of me.

“Sunshine, are you sure?”

“Yes, please watch her for me I will pick her up later. You can lock.” I say kissing her cheek and running out. When I get to my car, I connect my phone and dial Linda so he can give me their address.

“Baby mama. What a nice a surprise. Glass breaker. Did you replace the glass door?” This idiot. Yes, he is still very much an ass even though we get along.

“I need to see your brother. Where can I find him?”

“Why?”

“It’s important, please.”

“I will send you the location.” He sends it and I drive there.

Everyone is here. Him, Mrs Gumede, and some people I don’t know, probably Fikile’s family.

“Sanibonani.” I greet and I immediately regret coming here when I see the look on his face.

“Nokukhanya, how are you? What are you doing here ...is the baby okay.” She panics.

“Uhm, No Mma, she is fine. I came here for something else then I saw you guys here. Is everything okay.” My gaze never leaves his. I wish he can just turn to look at me so he can know that I feel the same about him.

“Langa’s wife gave birth last night and there were some complications with the baby.” Langa’s wife, that stings deep in my heart.

He hasn’t even looked my way. Why is he being so cold towards me.

“I should go. I hope everything goes well with the baby.” I say and turn to walk away.

He didn’t come after me.

I’m heart broken.

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Not Edited.