Nokukhanya (Chapter 13)

Chapter 13

●Nokukhanya Ngwenya

He has been here for almost two hours we even missed our check-up appointment I just couldn’t bring myself to disturb their moment. She is so happy and free around him which is a shocker normally she doesn’t connect with people she doesn’t know that fast. I’ve been sitting here watching them ever since I can’t even move from here and right now it’s her nap time but I’m scared to tell Langa this. I’m even hungry for heaven's sake.

Aahhh! Why the drama heh? Just tell the man ulambile. This bitch in my head tells me sipping her wine and watching from a distance.

“Langa…”

“Yes…” The smile disappears from him.

“She needs to take her nap now.” I say and earn an evil frown from him. Yho!

“Can I put her to bed?” He asks.

“Yes of course. Follow me.”

What the hell are you doing! The last time you were in the same bedroom as him you dropped your pants and right now you want him to follow you in your room….what? Do you want another child with him? Sunshine I know you can be stupid at times but right now you are embarrassing me…seriously!

My subconscious complaints and I openly ignore this bitch. She is trying to get me into trouble I see.

“You can put her there. I still haven’t completed her room as yet, so she sleeps with me or sometimes with her grandparents.” I explain. Don’t even ask me why I saw the need to tell him all of this. He blatantly ignores the shit out of me and places a kiss on her forehead then walks out. Sigh. What now.

I follow him and find him hiding his face between his legs. This is not a good sign. He looks ready mad, like murderously angry.

“Langa I’m sorry,” I say.

“What are you sorry for Nokukhanya heh?” He asks. Still faced down.

“For keeping her away from you.”

“That’s all?”

“Yes.” There’s more?

“Mhmm.” He says coming straight to me and I don’t like the look on him so I move back.

“I mean what do you want me to say.?” I ask.

“How about you apologize for everything. Me missing doctor’s appointments, first kicks,  your cravings, her birth! Not just you keeping her from me!” He shouts.

“Don’t shout at me.”

“I will shout at you, however, I see fit! How dare you keep her from me!”

“Langelihle you need to keep your voice down or else you will wake uNonjabulo. Angithi I’m here next to you there’s no need to scream like that.” I say calmly and he just…

“What did you say? Repeat what you just said to me.” Why is he looking like that? Like he is pained.

“I said keep your voice down.” My voice comes out in a soft tone. I don’t like the look on his face. Even though I hate him for sleeping with me as a married man, he gave me a gift, a daughter and I will forever be grateful for that.

He is still looking at me and I stare back. He walks over back to the couch and I follow him. I sit next to him and we remain silent. This is awkward. I wish he can say something. I want us to talk so we can come up with a solution. After a minute that feels like it’s been years of quietness, he opens his mouth.

“What’s her name?” I look up at him and his eyes are glossy with tears.

“Nonjabulo.”

I cannot believe I have spent hours with this man and I didn’t even tell him his daughter’s name. I feel bad.

“Who named her?”

“I did.”

“Why?”

Why??? What is wrong with naming my baby.

“Because she is my source of happiness.”

Tears stream down his beautiful face. I want to wipe them for him but I don’t have that right. He is not mine and he will never be mine.

.

.

.

“Can I please make an appointment to come tomorrow for my daughter’s check-up,”  I tell her, and I’m asked to hold on for a second while she transfers my call?

He walked out. He just left without saying anything to me. He up and left after kissing my forehead. Not knowing what will come up next from him is driving me crazy. I even cleaned my entire house within an hour now what’s left is my daughter’s room.

“Tomorrow at nine will be fine.” She confirms and I thank her and drop the call.

There’s a knock on my door. Now I will definitely put in a complaint…twice in one day…this is not on!

Him.

“Hello Nokukhanya. May I come in please?”

“Mzwandile?”

****

●Langa Gumede

“What’s wrong?”

“I never thought she could be this heartless you know.”

“You’ve been crying? Langa, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“Nokukhanya is a heartless bitch!” I cry.

“Langa…”

“I can’t believe I was in love with her. How can she keep me away from my daughter for full two years and not even feel sorry about it her apology was not genuine.”

“Did you meet her and why are you saying was you know you still do?” He asks and I just stare at him. Vele I still do but right now I don’t like her.

“I hate seeing you like this and mom and your wife are on their way here.” I look up to him and he shrugs.

“Why are they coming here?”

“Angazi. Apparently, she found you guys a house so she’s here to view it.”

I don’t have time for this.

My mind has never been this messed up. When I left her house I drove to the nearest bar to get something to help keep my emotions in check but it didn’t work so I drove straight here and I’m glad Mzwa wasn’t around I can't be breaking down in front of everyone only my brother and mother knows this side of me.

“Do you know what she named her?” I ask my brother who clearly has no idea what I’m talking about.

“Who?”

“Nokukhanya.  She named her Nonjabulo.”

“Named who?” He can be slow sometimes.

“My daughter.”

“What? Why? Did you tell her about the girls?”

“Never Linda. I never told her anything. You know she’s a replica of her. You’d swear that she woke up from the dead.”

“This is fucked up.”

“Tell me about it.”

“What are you going to do about all this?  Are you going to take her from her?”

“Maybe…at this point anything is possible. All I know is that I want to be part of my daughter’s life.” I say making my way to the kitchen. I need to cool down.

“And table girl?” He follows me.

“What about her.” Wasn’t he listening to me when I called her heartless?

“Come on! We both know that you still have feelings for her.”

“My feelings for her went out the window when I found out about my daughter.”

“Whose daughter?” My mom walks in followed by Fikile who is wearing the tightest dress I’m sure I’m baby is suffocating inside there.

I watch as she settles next to me with a frown on her face while my mother kisses Linda’s cheek.

“Your mother asked you a question.”

“Yes, I did… Which daughter are you talking about?”

“Your granddaughter Ma. Langa just found out he has a two-year-old daughter. How crazy is that.?” This snitch!

“What!” On any day I would have laughed at her facial expression.

“With who?” My mother asks.

“With Nokukhanya.” He says and I try to reprimand him and he ignores me.

“Nokukhanya? Langa, you told me you weren’t dating her.” -Fikile.

“I wasn’t. Can we not talk about this right now, please. How was your flight?” I respond.

“I cannot believe this!” She walks away. Here goes.

Sigh.

I follow her to the bathroom. She’s crying. I hate it when she puts my baby in jeopardy.

“I’m sorry baby I had a long day.”

“It's not just that Langelihle you always dismiss me like I’m one of your employees in front of your family and you know how your brother feels about me. I’m your wife Langa not your employee anymore. When will you start treating me like your wife?” She says in a stern voice sitting on top of the toilet seat.

Isn’t it weird that I hate it when my wife calls me by my full name but I love it when Nokukhanya says it? I long and crave to hear her call me by my full name. And here I am looking at the one I married because she is pregnant with my child yet I feel nothing for her and then there’s this other one that kept my daughter away from me for two fucken years yet I long for her touch.

“I know. I know. I’m sorry. She caught me off guard and I wanted to speak to you kcala before anyone else.”

“What do you mean to speak to me first? You never tell me anything. You always sideline me or even take me seriously. Why did you ask me to marry you if you not going to treat me like your equal?”

Whoa!

“Calm down, please. Like I told you we are not doing this right now.”

“When Langelihle heh?”

“Fikile…”

“No when?... when is the right time to talk? Njalo you do this. I’m your wife!”

“I know God dammit! There is no fucken need to remind me all the damn time. Angithi I’m telling you not now. Is that hard to understand?” I scream at her and she starts crying. She's been doing a lot of crying lately and she knows she drives me crazy when she does then I start panicking about my child.

“Langa!” My mom shouts from outside.

“Langa open the door.”

“It wasn’t even locked Mma.”  I say walking past her. I need a minute to breathe. I need to get out of here before I lose it.

“Manje Uyaphi?” She asks behind me. I thought she was consoling her daughter in law why did she follow me outside.

“I’ll be back.”

“Are you going back to her?”

“No…”

“Your brother told me everything Langa. Please don’t do something you are going to regret. Rather sit down and talk.”

“Ma… Nokukhanya doesn’t know how to do that. She has this defensive mode every time you try to reason with her.”

She deeply sighs.

“Langalami I was talking about you sitting down and talking to your wife, not her.”

What!

“Stop frowning and listen to me. Khuluma no Fikile then after you can talk to your table girl.”

“Mma…”

“Fikile is a wonderful woman even though she doesn’t bring the smile on your face yena she does try.”

“Give her a chance.  Give yourself a chance to love again.” She continues.

How do I give her a chance when my heart is yearning for someone else. I still dream of her and I look at her pictures every single day. I remember the day I blessed myself with her innocence. I went back to my house after work and I removed all my late wife’s pictures and put hers till this day they are there in my showroom for me to look at every night when I find it hard to sleep.

“So what now? How old is she?”

“She named her Nonjabulo and she is two years old now.”

“What did you just say?” She asks shocked.

“She even looks like her Ma. It’s like she woke up from the dead. She’s her replica Ma I’m telling you. Why would she do that to me? Why did she keep her away from me.”

“I want to see her Langa. I want to see this for myself.”

~~~~

Driving back to her house for the second time today is nerve-wracking and my mother is also stressing me out with endless questions. We arrive and the guard I paid this morning to keep an eye on them is still here.

My mother knocks and opens the door when we told to come in.

What the fuck is he doing here and why the hell is he holding my daughter for.

“Langelihle…” She says sounding very annoyed and irritated with my presence but hearing her call me by my full name sounds like heaven in my ears.

“Meet my mother. She wanted to see her granddaughter.” I tell her ignoring Mzwandile.

“Mrs. Gumede nice to meet you. Would you like something to drink?” Why is she nervous.

“I would like to hold her please.”

“Yes of course.” I watch as she takes her from my so-called friend and hands our daughter to my mother.

“She looks so much like her sister Langa.” Tears fall from her face.

“I have to go. I will see you tomorrow?” Mzwa says to her. Tomorrow? What’s happening tomorrow?

“Uhm yes…I will call you.” She replies while walking him out then places a kiss on his cheek.

“Sawubona MaGumede…Hello baby…Umuhle kanjani…”

“uNonjabulo Mma…”

“Is there something wrong with me naming her Nonjabulo?”

“Yes!” I say.

“No! Don’t mind him. There’s is absolutely nothing wrong with her name. But why did you keep her away from us.”

“Mrs. Gumede I didn’t know I was pregnant until I was seven months. She just came from nowhere. It wasn’t on purpose I swear and I know that’s hard to believe but it’s the truth.”

“Nokukhanya you had two years to inform us about her.”

“Langa! Shut up.”

“No Mma I’m not keeping quiet. She made me miss the most important years of my daughter's life all she does is entertain men with my daughter around.”

“Langalihle!” my mother reprimands me but I’m not having it.

“Mrs. Gumede it’s late now I need to put her to bed so I am going to politely ask you to leave.” The fuck! Is she chasing us out?

“It's okay dear I understand. Can we come tomorrow to see her and talk?” She nods and opens the door for us.

“This is not over yezwa? I’m coming back for her.”

She clicks her tongue and shuts the door on my face.

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