59

Angel

"She deep into me like waterrrrr yea. Teach me how to neva be like fatherrrr..." I sang a song as I got ready for work by a boy that lives in my apartment complex dropped last night.

His name is Kentrell Gaulden, but he goes by the name of 'NBA Youngboy'. He's 18 years old.

He wants to be a rapper, but he's also going to go to school for Nursing.

I knew that because whenever I didn't have to be to work so early in the morning, I'd converse with him and all the middle schoolers and high schoolers that were waiting for the one bus that came through here to pick them up for school. And of course they knew me from working at the hospital and the internet.

I'd give them snacks for school (because some of them didn't even have enough money to eat there) and words of motivation to start their day.

I try to make an impact on all of their lives as much as I possibly can, because most of them are out here in the streets raising themselves just like how I was.

And I don't want them to throw their whole lives away over petty situations or a couple of dollars.

I want them to know that someone cares.

Since this morning is one those mornings that I don't have to be in early, I'm sure I'll be seeing them out there waiting.

Ready to go, I threw my purse on my shoulder and grabbed my keys off of the nightstand.

"David... David baby, I'm about to leave..." I spoke softly as I rubbed his face.

"Mm... Alright..." He replied back sleepily with his eyes still closed.

I then heard a baby coo. Looking down at him, I saw Kairi smiling into his chest with her eyes closed.

"Awwwww, bye bye fat mama... Mommy's gonna miss you while I'm at work..." I hovered over David and kissed her small mouth. Her smile grew bigger and bigger after each peck.

"Bye you guys, I love y'all." I said sadly and pecked David's lips.

I hate that I have to leave them. I've been spending all of my time with them from the second that Kai was born.

I have a feeling that today's going to be a hard day without them.

As I was walking out my bedroom door, I heard Dave's voice.

"Angel?" It was barely over a whisper. I turned around and looked at him. "Yes Dooda?"

"You leaving?" He asked rubbing his eyes. "Yeah, I am." He lifted Kairi off his chest and laid her beside him on the bed.

"Come lay back down with us."

"Baby, I can'tttttt. I gotta go to work!" I whined and stomped my feet.

"Man baby it's 5:25, you don't have to be at work until 7:30!" He exclaimed to me like he was stressed.

"Dave, you just be making shit up. You don't even know what time it is! You just woke up! It's 6:20." I put my hands on my hips.

"Just 10 minuets! Babyyyy pleaseee!" I chuckled seeing him kick his long ass legs.

"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!" I took my shoes off and slid back into the bed under him. "Big ass baby." I mumbled.

He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. "I'm your big ass baby." He said kissing my forehead.

5 minuets later...

I began to become mesmerized with Dave's tattoos, tracing around the green leaf on his chest with my short, white nails.

Hearing his small snores, I decided to take that chance to leave for work.

Unwrapping his arms from around me, I slowly got up from the bed careful to not wake him or Kai. I put back on my shoes and grabbed my purse and keys.

"Bye, love you." I said leaning over the bed kissing Dave and Kai each and hurried out the door.

Unlocking my car, I grabbed the big bag of hot variety chips, rice krispie treats, and a box of capri suns that I kept in my back seat. I shut my door and made my way to where all of them were standing.

"HEY NURSE ANGEL!" They all ran up to me with huge smiles on their faces. "Hey you guys!" I said back.

"We got it Ms. Angel, it look heavy." A young boy named RJ said taking everything out of my hands. "Thank you RJ it is."

"MOMMA!" I turned around hearing the voice of Kentrell.

He always called me mama, even though I always told him I was old enough to be his sister but not his mom. He always said that I was like a mother figure to him since he doesn't really have one.

His mom is around, but from what he tells me, she puts men over her only child.

Me and Kentrell kind of grew up the same way: mistreated and abandoned by our parents. I guess that's why me and him bond a lot more than the other kids. We understand each other more.

"HEY KEN!" I giggled as he picked me up and spun me around. He put me down and smiled at me, looking at my uniform.

"Ooohhh, I'm tryna go to work fresh like you one day! Okay, I see you mama! With the J's on!" He stepped back and hyped me up.

"Nooooo, I see you going to school looking clean on this sunny Monday morning!" I touched the diamonds in his NBA chain.

"Well you know Ian wanna kill em to hard. Just some what?" He cuffed his hand over his ear.

"LIGHT!" We both yelled at the same and laughed.

"Wassam y'all." He walked over to RJ and grabbed a bag of hot fries out the bag. He pointed to the box of capri suns.

"Hey, Ma. Ion mean to be ungrateful or nothing, but yeen got like no water or nun? You know a young nigga tryna stay healthy."

I chuckled at him. "Yeah boy come on, I got some in my car." "Bet!"

Once we got to my car, I unlocked it and grabbed him a bottle of Fiji water from out my backseat.

"Here you go." I handed it to him.

"Thank you ma. Man it seems like forever since I last seen you." He opened the water and took a sip of it.

"I know, I know. I've been so busy with the website, and my baby, and then tryna make some time for myself." I blew air out of my mouth from getting that out all in one breath.

"Oh I seen you! Been out here doing yo thing in these streets, working." He said smiling.

"Nah I seen you! Dropping all this good ass music while still juggling school and staying out the streets?! I'm proud of you!" I pushed his shoulder playfully.

"Thank you Ma! I really appreciate that. At least somebody proud of me..." His smile faded and he looked down at the ground.

I furrowed my brows at him. "What you mean by that?"

"My mom man. Angel, it doesn't matter how good I try to show her I am, she doesn't support me. In anything! Like she tells me rap ain't gonna get me nowhere and I'll just be another nigga that's from Baton Rouge. So to make her happy, I put rapping on the back burner and started putting my energy into a actual career. And when I told her I wanted to be a nurse, she laughed in my face! She said that I wasn't going to stick with it or succeed at it. Like I can't win for losing man..." He sighed and shook his head.

I held his head up with my finger and looked into his eyes.

"Listen to me Kentrell, you will succeed doing whatever you want to do. A lot of people are proud and are rooting for you! You damn near got the whole world on your team! You've been blowing up! Don't let what your mom says stop you from chasing your dreams or discourage you in any way. Because at the end of the day, it's your life. Not hers. When she see that money start rolling in, watch how her whole attitude change about it. My mom said the same thing to me about nursing, but did I stop? Hell no. Because I knew what made me happy. Never say that rap isn't a real career, because it is. And if you want me to be honest, I think that you're rap career will take off faster than the nursing one will..."

His head shot up. "You think so???"

"Hell yeah! It already is! Just keep working. I promise you it'll be worth it in the end."

He smiled and nodded his head. "Thank you Angel. For everything. You always made sure I was straight, and you believed in me when nobody else would. When I blow up like forreal forreal, I'ma make sure you taken care of. Not wanting for shit."

"Shidddd, I hope so shit. Mama need a new Chanel bag." We both busted out laughing.

"You so crazy man..." He chuckled shaking his head.

Our heads turned to the bus that was making it way to their bus stop.

"Oh that's the bus! I gotta go Ma, thank you for the snacks!" He kissed my cheek and ran off to it.

"THANK YOU FOR THE SNACKS NURSE ANGEL!" The rest of the kids screamed to me as they got on the bus.

"YOU'RE WELCOME! HAVE A GREAT DAY YOU GUYS!" I waved at them as the bus pulled off. I watched it disappear into the distance.

"What a great way to start your day." I smiled to myself, but it soon faded seeing the big empty chip bag sitting on the ground.

"Look at RJ ass! Ima get him." I walked over to where it was and picked it up.

Balling it up in my hand, I looked across the road seeing a little girl sitting on the side walk in front of Apartment building D. Since I lived in Building C, I had a straight shot view of her.

I wonder what she's doing out here by herself. She looks way to young to go to school...

I made my way over to her.

The closer I got to her, I got to get a better look at how dirty her face and pajamas were, but she was absolutely adorable.

She was light skinned and had wild, brown, curly hair that was thrown into two buns. She couldn't have been over the age of 3 or 4 years old.

I squatted down to her level and she looked up at me with her light brown eyes and smiled. I then noticed the dried tear streaks that were on her face.

"Um, Hi beautiful! My name is Angel Love. What's your name?"

"Kali Greer." She replied back in a sweet but hoarse voice. It's was almost as if she was weak.

"Wow, that's a pretty name! How old are you Kali?" I brushed some dirt out of her hair.

"Um, I jus turned four last week. I think..." She said softly running her hand over the concrete.

"Oh my gosh that's so cool! I just turned 27 a few months ago." I put my hand on my chest proudly.

She looked at me surprised. "Wow... I hope I get to be that old some day." We both giggled.

"You will, but um Kali? How long have you been sitting out here? And where are your parents?" Her smile then faded.

"You know when the sky's color fades and it starts to turn black? Yeah since then... And my mommy and daddy are inshide. I don't think I was supposed to boove from off the stairs, but I got cold sitting der...." I heard her stomach growl and she held it.

"Shhh, you'll get food soon." My heart melted as she patted her tummy and talked to it.

"Are you hungry?" I asked her. She slightly nodded her head yes.

"You want me to make you so breakfast at my house?" She nodded her head yes again. I grabbed her tiny hands. "Okay, come on."

"B-but..." She looked back at a door. "I'm not supposed to boove..." She whispered. Tears were starting to form in her eyes.

"Kali, babygirl it's okay. You can come with me. You're safe with me. I promise." I looked her in the eyes, letting her know that she could trust me.

"Umm... Mmkay..." She said hesitantly and stood up.

1 hour and half later...

After an hour of me and Kali talking and eating, we were finally done and ready to get her back home to her mother.

She's such a sweet little girl, and she reminded me a lot of myself when I was her age. And If it wasn't for my job, I would stay here all day with her.

After telling her a lot about myself, she told me some things about her. Like her favorite color, what she likes to do for fun, and her favorite cartoon.

I also tried to get her to talk about how things were at home, but she just went around the questions I would ask her and change the subject. I know somethings not right because she would become very uneasy.

"Okay Kali. Now if you ever need me, just knock on my door or call this number on this card okay?" I slid one of my business cards into her front pants pocket.

"Mmkay... Do you really have to go Angel?" She asked me frowning.

"Awwwwe, baby don't be sad! You can come see me whenever you'd like okay?"

"Mmkay..." She wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and kissed my cheek. "Thank you."

"You're welcome chunky butt." I started to tickle her tummy and she giggled.

I stood up straight and knocked on her door.

My anxiety began to kick in, getting memories of when Ms. Bernese would drop me back off at my door the morning after my mother would sit me outside of it.

After waiting a few minutes, the door swung open and a beautiful brown skinned girl stood there in red lingerie.

"Bitch, whatchu want?" She asked with the ugliest scowl on her face.

"BIT-" I dropped my head and chuckled a little bit. Did she just say-...

Stay calm Angel....

"Um, I found your little girl sitting on the side walk out there. She said this is where she lives." I said as nice as possible.

She bucked her eyes and snatched Kali up by her arm.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU?! HMM?! DIDNT I TELL YOU TO NOT MOVE FROM THOSE STAIRS?!" Kali trembled as she yelled in her face.

"But-but I-I got cold mommy...." She whispered with tears falling out of her eyes.

"BITCH GET YOUR ASS IN THIS HOUSE! YOU GONNA LEARN TO OBEY ME!" She drew her hand back and popped Kali hard in her chest.

Kali cries grew louder when she drug her into the house and slammed the door shut.

I stood there with tears falling down my face in complete shock. I couldn't believe what I just witnessed.

It broke my heart to see the look of fear written all over that little girl's face. That was a look I knew all to well. I knew exactly what that girl was feeling.

That little girl was me....

Yoooo, I don't even know what say like wtf. I'm speechless as fuck....

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