27

Angel

"I don't see what that has to do with anything."

I paced around the room trying to get my thoughts together as they scattered my brain.

"But mom... I'm trying to tell you that something's not right. I feel... Sad all the time. Like sometimes it comes out of no where. Sometimes I don't want to get out of bed. And I get these feelings around me that I can't explain... I think I need help... I think I may need to go see a doctor. I think I may be depressed..." I said feeling tears sting my eyes.

"So you telling me you may be depressed?" My mom asked me. "Yes..." I said softly.

"Angel you have NOTHING to be depressed about! You're to young to be depressed or stressed about anything! You're 17 years old! You always talking about 'you're stressed'! You're not going to see what stress is until you have to pay some fucking bills! If anybody should be depressed or stressed it should be me!" She yelled at me. My heart started breaking and tears started falling down my face.

"B-but Mom..." My voice cracked.

"You're lazy Angel! You're an ungrateful and lazy bitch! All you do is run around with that fucking boy! I know you fucking him. And you better not get pregnant, because I don't know who's going to take care of your ass." She spat me as continued to insult me.

I wanted to share something with her that I've known about for a while. It could possibly change my life and hers. I guess it's now or never...

"Mom, I got accepted into a college up in New York... M-my test scores and grades were so good that I got a full ride... I'm going to study to be a nurse." I said hoping that she'd be proud of me.

She scoffed. "Nurses don't make any fucking money Angel. What you telling me this shit for? You think you better than me?" She walked up to me in got in my face.

"Huh?! You think you better than me because you got accepted into a little school?" She pointed her finger in my face.

"N-no mom..." I whimpered. "I just thought you'd be proud of me..."

"Let me tell you something Angel... You not better than anyone. You not shit and you never gonna be shit. No one's ever gonna love you. All you gonna do is lay on your back and get fucked. Just like you're doing now. That's all you'll ever be to anyone." The words that were coming out her mouth were flowing through my ears. Every single one went straight to my heart, jabbing it.

"Get the fuck out of my sight. It disgusts me to even look at you." She said shaking her head.

I slowly picked up my book bag off the kitchen counter and headed upstairs.

"Oh and your Daddy told me what you did." She said. I stopped in my tracks.

She was referring to when I had a mental breakdown a few days ago. My dad was the only one that was at the house that day. I had just got home from school and my dad had laid me down on the couch and raped me. And when he was done, something took over me... I was crying hysterically. Even though this has been happening since I was a little girl, I tried to make myself get 'used to it'. But no. I don't think I'll ever be used to that... I got up and knocked everything off the table. I was knocking pictures off the walls. Throwing down vases and breaking glass. I was yelling and screaming during the process. I couldn't stop crying. But after I did that, I felt a little better.

And I'm guessing he told my mom everything.

"He should've beat your ass." My heart sank. I didn't even bother to turn back around. I drug my feet all the way up to my room.

I closed my door and laid down on my bed. I snuggled up with my pillow. Tears soaked it.

What did I do? What can I do to get out of this? Why doesn't anyone understand? Why can't anyone see or hear me dying?

Minutes later, my door opened. I felt someone rub my butt. I flinched at the touch of it.

"Heyy Daddy's babygirl..." He cooed softly in my ear. Fear set in. I tensed up.

"I missed you today..." He said kissing my neck and putting his hand in my pants.

I began to cry. "Shh shh shh, it's okay baby..."

I then heard his belt buckle rattle. He got on top of me and pulled my pants down.

He groaned as he shoved himself in me.

My eyes shot open and I jumped up out of my sleep. The sheets were soaked from the perspiration. My body was burning up.

My breathing was very heavy. I put my hand on my chest feeling my heart beat. It felt like it was going to explode out of my chest.

I hurried to the bathroom. Cutting the cold water on, I ran my hands through it and splashed it on my face and arms.

I leaned against the counter and watched the water run down the sink. I looked at myself in the mirror.

God please make it stop...

I've been having these dreams every night for the past few months of my past that I desperately tried to push to the back of my mind.

After I calmed down, I cut the water off and dried myself with a towel that was laying on the counter.

I cut the light off and walked out. Grabbing my phone off the nightstand, I looked at the time. 4:05 AM

Well I might as well start getting ready for work...

***

I watched all the nurses walk in as my shift started. I saw Stephanie and Zoie laughing and taking. I instantly got excited.

[S/N: Y'all I decided to add Zoe to the story 😭 I thought it'd make a funny twist to it. I love him 😂]

Zoie started working here as a RN a few months ago and we all instantly clicked. He's just like Stephanie so that means that I have another crazy person on my hands.

He also hates the other nurses, just like we do.

"Wassup bitch!" They both yelled at me. I laughed.

"Hey y'all. Why y'all always so hype in the morning?" They smiled.

"Girllll, what do you mean?" Zoe said sharply but softly while he swayed his shoulders. "It's Fridayyy..." Steph said sounding just like him.

I just laughed. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I looked down at it.

Baby Daddy 💕: Please don't forget about the grand opening tomorrow... I really need your support.

The time had now come for Dave to officially quit the game and open his own gym. I can't believe that he actually stuck to the date that I gave him to quit. I'm so proud of him... I also got him something nice that I think he'll love.

"Oooh who you texting? Baby Daddyyyy?" Zoie moaned. I giggled. "You know she is!" Steph yelled.

"Yeah, he's just telling me about his grand opening tomorrow." I said.

"Ooh yes girl I can't wait! We gone get lit!" Steph said throwing her hands in the air.

Baby Mama ❤️: I won't David...

I locked my phone.

"Girl speaking of getting lit... I can't wait until this gender reveal!" Zoe screamed. "Me either..." Steph said.

"I can't wait until you see what Stephanie put together... It's gonna be so lit. We gone be like 'AH AH AH AH AH AH!'" Zoie said twerking.

"OOH OOH OOH..." Me and Steph said co-signing him. "THAT ASS THAT ASS THAT ASS THAT ASS THAT ASS THAT ASS THAT ASS THAT ASS THAT ASS! SHE BAD SHE BAD!" We all sang Cardi B, getting fucking hype.

In the middle of our turn up, Nurse Hillery came and bumped Zoie and I'm sure it was on purpose.

Zoe stopped what he was doing instantly and looked around shocked as she walked away.

"I know she fucking lying..." He whispered as he started to walk towards her. Me and Steph pulled him back.

"No Zoie!" We yelled. "Naw! I don't like that bitch!" He yelled.

"Well you was messing with her man Zoe..." I side eyed him.

"Ugh girl it ain't my fault her man a lil sugar foot!" He whined. We all busted out laughing.

David

"Man you sure about this?" Jd said as we looked at rings in the jewelry store.

"Yes bruh I'm sure!" I yelled assuring him. The jeweler came back over.

"Mr. Taylor did you make a decision?" She asked me.

"Yes! That one right there!" I said picking up the rings she preselected out for me.

"Allright! I'll have it all boxed up for you!" She said excitedly. I smiled. "Alright thank you!"

I'm ready for this. I'm ready for a family.

Hey you guys! This chapter was kind of hard for me to write... It brought back old memories for me. That was how the conversation between me and my mom went when I had my first mental breakdown but with a little twist. If any of you are struggling with depression or anxiety, please talk to someone. You can message me and I'll listen to speak. I know what it's like for your family not to take that seriously and you feel trapped and alone... I love you guys. ❤️