Chapter 16: Riftan’s POV

An awkward silence filled the cramped space. Riftan’s ears burned red like he had just stripped himself off in front of the wizard. He kicked the ground and spat his words out bluntly.

“Never mind. Forget it.”

“N-no, I mean, sure! I’ll cast it for you for as long as you want. It’s not even a complicated magic.” The wizard hurriedly exclaimed. There was a sudden hint of brightness in his voice. “Certainly, it is difficult to relax comfortably inside a cramped cave like this. Please lie down here. I will cast for you a wonderful illusion.”

It annoyed him how Ruth switched to a tone used for soothing children, but he was too tired and longed to rest so much that he quickly overcame his irritation. Riftan meekly lied down on the ground, small rocks and pebbles pestered the flesh on his back while he tasted the peculiar musty smell of the cave in his throat with every breath he took. Despite the unpleasant environment, he was so exhausted that he couldn’t afford to even mind it.

He propped his head against his bag and covered his body with his robe. Ruth bent over to his side and placed his palm on top of the corner of his eyes.

“Paint in your head the happiest scene from your memories.”

After a while, a white light flashed from the wizard’s pale fingertips, and Riftan’s surroundings gradually faded.

A gentle breeze coated with the scent of flowers made his hair flutter. Soon, a scenery of a sunny summer day unfolded before his eyes. The green leaves of the trees gleamed like emeralds as rays of sunlight escaped between them. As he walked through the scenery, a garden with full bloomed flowers emerged.

Riftan felt a strange feeling of relief but an aching emotion of longing crawled inside every inch of his bones as his eyes fell to the girl sitting under the tree’s shade. She was embracing her black hound tightly, burying her arms and face against his luscious fur. A corner in his heart tightened painfully as he watched the tender sight. He also once longed to be held just like her. He yearned to be embraced safely in warm, soft arms.

‘…this is just an illusion.’ Riftan murmured to himself. It was just an illusion created by magic, but the enchanting sigh captured his heart and refused to let it go.

When he gazed at her back then, he forgot all his sufferings. He still felt the same now. However, as the peaceful scene faded away like mist, he returned to a harsh reality. Riftan sighed as he realized he was back to the cold, dark cave that didn’t let a single ray of light in.

“Are you already awake?”

The wizard, who was crouching next to him, appeared drowsy as he yawned widely while asking him. Riftan silently sat up.

In the end, everything he saw was just an illusion. Nothing but a mere moment of temporary comfort. He brushed off the empty feelings in his heart and urged the wizard to continue working on getting them out of the cave. When they finally reached the cave mouth, the light of dawn pierced his eyes. Riftan supported the exhausted wizard as they climbed down the mountain. They reunited with the expedition team and reported the accident that occurred last night, prompting a search party to immediately rescue those who were still trapped in the cave.

They spent half a day digging through piles of dirt. There were eight people who miraculously survived. The rest of them unfortunately did not live to see the day. No one made a ruckus about it as it was common to have such accidents in their line of work. Riftan helped carry the wounded to the barracks and retrieve corpses for the priests to bless. Only after all that he was finally able to have a proper rest.

Proceeding that event, their expedition continued for around two more weeks. When their contract ended, the Black Horn Mercenaries traveled straight to the north. Their work required them to constantly wander around countries, pursuing conflicts and monsters. When they ran out of quests in Livadon, they did not hesitate to move on to Balto where they began earnestly doing their work.

Moving to Balto frustrated Riftan. The country’s society was greatly influenced by the church and were more devoted compared to Whedon or Livadon. Discriminating people of mixed races or foreign origins was ingrained among the northerners, leaving him nothing but harsh tasks that everyone else avoided.

There were times when he escorted nobles and aristocrats alike, but he later purposely dodged such tasks as he got tired of their immaturity, they eyed him with contempt and regarded him as a barbarian just because of his skin’s color. However, thanks to his reputation of hunting dragon subspecies, similar quests continually came to him. Each of them made him gamble his life but he didn’t hesitate to accept them if the compensation was fair. Because of this, he was able to build an overflowing amount of gold, wealth, and fame. However, as he spent his days as such, it did not guarantee that he wouldn’t die the next day and it made him wonder what the point of his life was. Most of the mercenaries were secretly hoping that he wouldn’t come back alive, even Samon who acted like they were comrades, blatantly probed him about where he hid the gold he had so far earned.

Riftan went on with his life, ignoring them and not batting an eye in their direction, but all of it gradually added on his exhaustion. He was mentally pushed to the limit in an environment where he had to be wary and alert of people eyeing him with contempt. Dead tired, Riftan occasionally sought Ruth and asked to cast an illusion magic for him. Although he always woke up to a feeling of emptiness afterwards, he was at least able to relax during his illusions. The girl in his mind only became more glorious as she grew increasingly lovable and affectionate.

Her hair that gently flowed and plumped like clouds, her small ivory face, and her crystalline eyes that sparkled like a lake on a winter’s day… whenever he thought of her, his heart melted as if he was looking at a young meek creature, and he was able to forget about his hellish life even for a moment.

There were times when he would endlessly wonder how she was doing now. He would think of how tall she had grown or worry that she would get herself hurt again walking alone in the forests, or if she still strolled along the garden with a sulking expression.

Whenever thoughts like that filled his mind, he couldn’t bear but laugh at himself. Who was he to worry about her? If anyone else heard what he was thinking, that person would probably clutch his stomach from laughing so hard. However, he couldn’t bring himself to stop thinking about her even though he thought of it as stupid.

“It’s not good to rely too much on illusions.” Ruth, who was at first willing to cast illusion spells, eventually warned Riftan who frequently asked him to cast it. “This spell was originally designed to confuse enemies. Nothing good will come out of casting this on you too often.”

“…I’ll pay whatever amount if you want to, name your price.” Riftan snorted bluntly and the wizard frowned like he was offended.

“I’m not even pertaining to money. I am truly concerned about you right now, Sir Calypse.”

“Stop worrying about useless things! What could go wrong with having illusions for an hour or two?”

“Beautiful illusions only make you hate reality more.”

Riftan clenched his teeth. As a matter of fact, he despised reality more and more as that went on and felt the urge not to wake up and stay in his fantasies forever. Ruth sighed lightly, like he was able to decipher his truth.

“I think I have been too rash in agreeing to cast spells on you. I thought that someone who has such willpower as Sir Calypse would have the strength not to dwell on such fantasies.”

“Damn it, what the hell is wrong with hating reality even more? I can’t be worse off in this world anyway!”

“You feel that way because you’re comparing it to your illusions.” The wizard raised his chin and spoke firmly. “Anyway, from now on I won’t cast an illusion spell on you. Stop clinging to fantasies, find comfort in reality. Sir Calypse needs to develop his social skills.”

The wizard closed the door to Riftan’s face. He kicked the door with force, inflicting a crack and denting the wood, but he only heard a mere snort from Ruth. Eventually, Riftan trudged back into his room and laid down against the cold bed.

However, all that came to his mind was the scene he saw in his illusions. He harshly rubbed his palms against his face. He might have become overly reliant on it just like the wizard said. He felt delusional for dwelling on such childhood memories, but he didn’t know what else he could do to soothe his weary heart. Riftan gazed at the crescent moon glowing with a faint light through the window and helplessly shut his eyes.

***

“Are you sure you want to leave?”

Riftan, who was packing his belongings, looked over his shoulder. The leader of the Black Horn Mercenaries, Gail, was leaning against the doorframe, glaring at him annoyingly.

“Can’t you at least pay back the kindness I bestowed so far by taking care of you?

“I don’t remember a time you took care of me.”

Riftan replied sarcastically and slung his bag over his shoulder. Gail exhaled so heavily that his shaggy beard fluttered.

“I’ve given you food to eat and a place to sleep when I took you in, and yet you’re being ungrateful.”

Riftan laughed scornfully. Gail used him as a bait for monsters when he just joined the mercenaries. Never once did he remember receiving anything without a price.

“I don’t owe you anything. I earned every sip of water that went into my mouth. Are you denying that?”

“Insolent bastard.” Unable to counter Riftan’s claim, he wheezed and slammed his fist against the wall. “There’s a brewing civil war in the east. You are the strongest force we have!”

“That’s none of my business.”

Unbothered by Riftan’s blunt reply, Gail prodded continuously. “Think about it again. If you happen to make a legendary contribution to the war, you have a chance of getting a piece of land in Balto. If you just do what you do well, I’ll make sure you’ll get paid handsomely for it. When you turn over twenty years old, I will even make you a vice captain. And if we become Balto’s uniform army, you will be the unit commander.”

Riftan’s lips twisted cynically. “Do you think I’m stupid? As long as I’m on this land, I will be nothing but a mongrel who carries the blood of pagans. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to suffer from being perceived like that anymore.”

Gail’s shaggy cheeks twitched like he was about to spit out a retort, and then swiftly turned around. “Fine. I won’t hold you back any longer. Go wherever you want to go. Based on what you’re doing, you’ll die soon anyway, but I’ll at least pray for your neck to cross Balto’s borders. You won’t be much of a nuisance when you turn into a ghoul.”

The man then stomped his feet while walking away. Riftan grabbed all his remaining equipment with a grim face and left the room. As he went outside the inn’s backdoor, the silvery terrain frozen in ice unfolded before him.

Balto’s northwestern region was covered in snow and ice all throughout the four seasons. It was unimaginable that humans lived in such a desolate place. Due east, a wide field of grassland spread out, but even that often died in vain when the rest of the season came and the people who raised cattle like sheep and horses had to travel to the south as the land turned into a wasteland infested by monsters.

Riftan looked around the disgusting frozen land before getting into a wagon. There wasn’t a single person who turned up to bid him goodbye. He plopped down against a pile of straw, feeling at ease.

Let’s go south. Anywhere would be better compared to here.

Riftan waved a signal for the coach to depart. At that moment, someone jumped onto the wagon. Riftan frowned angrily. Ruth sat across him like it was a natural thing for him to do.

Note – FL: I feel so bad for Riftan. I know he’s harsh to Maxi at times, but he really has had it so hard in life. I hope Maxi will know how much Riftan loves and devotes himself to her so she wouldn’t be so insecure anymore.