13

Just Friends

The Grand Ballroom was filled with towering arrangements of flowers on each table. On the stage across the room, a band was playing Wannabe by the Spice Girls.

"Woah," Amber said as a woman walks by with the white open-necked shirt and knee-length denim shorts worn by Ba­by House­man in the Dirty Danc­ing movie. Even her hair was curly like Baby's. Quite the effort, I'd say. "I should've thought of that, but no, I just had to go as Juliet."

Sofia and I look at her white linen dress, with the white wings, of course, it won't be Juliet without the iconic wings. "You look amazing, gorgeous," Sofia claims then proceeds to point down at her Outfit. She wore Justice's outfit from Poetic Justice. It was the iconic outfit everyone knows her by, Newsboy cap, black crop top, boyfriend jeans with a black buckle belt, and black ankle boots. "I look pretty basic."

I shake my head at them both, "Girls, you both look iconically beautiful, now let's get our 90s on and find Christopher."

Alexander walked behind us, as we scanned the room for the birthday boy, but in a room filled with Iconic 90s movie costumes, it was hard to point him out. I recognized some famous faces and some people were unknown.

"Margo Ambrosia?" We look to the left and see Taylor Swift. "No way, honey, you look amazing." She gives me a big smile as she analyzes my costume. She in turn was Miss Frizzle from The Magic School Bus, with a ginger wig in a bun to complete the look.

"And you two, wow, you all had one job and you've done it wonderfully. amazing. I'm still shocked." Amber and Sofia had their hands to their hearts, I held my clutch with both hands in front of me, with a smile.

"Thanks, you look great too."

She looks over my shoulder, "I love that," she points, when I turn around I realize she's speaking about Alexander. I step to the side and Taylor steps closer to him and walks around him to size him up. "The Breakfast Club, John Bender?"

He nods with a toothy smile. One I'm not sure I've seen before, it made me feel weird from within. "Yup...Alexander," he extends his hand for her and she takes it.

"Taylor Swift."

"Oh, I know." He gives her a flirtatious smile, I glance down at my clutch and then up at them with a flat expression, feeling awkward. So what was this? I don't want to be with him, so he flirts with the first girl he sees? Taylor smiles up at him, and I couldn't help but picture her writing a song about him, I inwardly roll my eyes and clear my throat.

"It was nice seeing you, I have to find Christopher." I don't wait for a response and turn around. As I walked away, the song I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston comes on and it washed my annoyance away as I nod my head to the beat with a lookout for Christopher.

"Oh, there he is," Amber says. I hadn't noticed that they followed me. She points to the table right in front of the stage and sure enough there he was sitting with a table full of chatter.  He wore an overall with one strap down, with an oversized batik-print shirt. "His costume looks familiar, I just can't put my finger on it."

As we walk over, the girls tried to figure out who he was and suddenly Sofia said, "He's Will Smith from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."

I nod in realization. Christopher looks over at us and stands up with a huge smile plastered on his face. He opens his arms and says, "Ladies, you've made it."

The girls giggle making me look at them with a smile and turn back at Christopher. "Thanks for having us."

I hug him, and he hugs the other two who can't stop staring at him like he's a cookie or dessert. He's one of my favorite Designers, but I know how to compose myself.  That or I have a problem.

"I love your costumes, and lovely Margo," he says with his hands in the midair to his sides. "The blonde wig, oof, you've outdone yourself again."

I give him an appreciative smile. "Thank you, you're Will smith?"

He nods, gives us a twirl, and smiles. "Yes, it took a while to choose a costume, but my mother has been watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and here I am. Mothers sure do know how to inspire their children."

"I'll have to agree," I say with a nod.

"So ladies, your seats are right here," he turns and points to the table next to his and looks back at us. "Enjoy yourselves, get crazy, loosen up." Then he was turning around and walked away, going back to his friends and I made my way to our table.

A banquet server walks by and I grab a cocktail, the girls take one for themselves, I find my name, and sit down. We sat there, watching people dance along to Barbie Girl by Aqua. Some just stood around talking and catching up or admiring each other's choice of costume. I cross my legs and toss my hair over my shoulder. I sit straight in my chair and survey the room.

From here I catch sight of Alexander chatting with a guy who was dressed like a 90s hip hop rapper. They were laughing, and the guy was swinging his hand's side to side like he was rapping right there on the spot. I feel a smile form on my face as I watch them act silly.

I was supposed to stay away from you Alexander, why are you here across the room from me, why do we keep crossing paths?

"What's got you smiling?" I snap my head to Amber who had cocked her head at me.

"I just like the song."

Sofia rolls her eyes. "Margo, love, your eyes were on him, don't lie." She gave me a knowing smile.

I take a sip from my cocktail and look away. "We should dance," I take a mouthful of my drink and stood up, placed it on the table, and turned to my friends. "Let's go crazy, loosen up, birthday boy's wish."

The girls whooped and followed me to the center of the Grand Ballroom. The floor was black and white, with big green cursive letters spelling out the words Rocking 90's.

We do The Cabbage Patch, we watch each other and burst out laughing. I guess tonight I can pretend everything was okay, forget about work, and just live. Sofia starts to do The Bogle, and we follow.

"Have you done The Heel Toe?" Amber asks us. I shake my head, but Sofia nods. They look at me with surprise. "Alright, so you're going to put your right foot on your heel, and your left foot will be behind it on its toe." I follow along, she nods once she sees I've got it. "Then turn to the left side in the same position. So now you jump, switching the position of the feet, the left foot would be on its heel while the right on its toes, like this."

She proceeds to jump and her feet switch, she jumps and switches, then looks up at me. "You see?"

I nod. I try it, and I land the way she did. "That wasn't so hard, right?" I nod. Then we do it for a few seconds before Sofia starts doing the Running Man, and I follow her. I remember doing this dance with my brother whenever we went to a party, and our parents would scold us to behave appropriately.

Some people look over at us, and they start to do it. Eventually, everyone on the dance floor followed along, Amber laughed and I started to do The New Kids On The Block, and they followed.

You could hear the laughter from the others, and in no time everyone was having a good time. I switched and started doing The Vanilla Ice. People whooped, and a smile that I now noticed was on my face got bigger, toothy in fact. I haven't felt this good since my name was all over the news the first time I came out with my Fasho collection.

I stayed on the dance floor for another hour, doing The Prep, The Alf, The Charelston which everyone seemed to love, But they all had a blast with The Kid 'N' Play where I partnered with Amber and Sofia partnered with another girl that I didn't know, Amber had a blast with The Butterfly, and I cheered her on.

Eventually, we did fresh freestyle, and that's when I stepped off the dance floor and made my way to our table. I sat down and took a sip from my drink. As I set it down, Alexander came and took a seat beside me.

"I see you have some moves up your sleeves," he says a smirk on his face. "The crowd loved you, but then again who wouldn't?"

I felt my face heat up and looked away. Amber and Sofia were back to doing The Kid 'N' Play as they laughed. Sofia almost tumbled and I smile. It was nice to see them happy, I feel like I was too hard on them. A vacation to my beach house in North Carolina won't hurt.

"It was pretty fun," I say now. My eyes meet his. "Haven't done that in forever."

She cocks his head at me. "Really?" I nod. "I thought you were the type to party."

"Well, I'm afraid you had the wrong idea of me."

"Clearly," he says, eyeing me with amused interest.

"Alex, may I have a word?" A man, with black hair turning gray, and a black cardio suit comes up to us. He gives me a gentle smile. "Sorry to steal him away from you...?"

"Margo Ambrosia," I say filling in my name for him. He nods.

"Of course, Fasho's Fashion Designer slash Director and boss, correct?" I give him a smile with a nod. "Can I steal him?"

"Forever? Go ahead." I look at Alexander and he gives me a look I can't quite distinguish. He stands up and follows the man. They don't stand too far, the man puts his arm around Alexander's shoulder but Alexander bends down since he's tall, and the man barely reaches his other shoulder.

I sat there wondering if maybe since we're going to work together and spend a lot of time together if we should just agree to be friends and leave it at that. Make it easier for everyone. For me, to stand near him. I know it'll be a challenge, but I'll be able to make it through, right?

Would he?

The chair beside me gets pulled back, and a woman I don't know sits down and smiles at me. A wine glass in her hand. She crossed her legs and stared at me with interest.

"You and Alexander, huh?"

How did she know him? I looked at her costume, she dressed like Britney Spears from her music video Baby One More Time. I look back at her. "No, we're—"

"Don't deny it, it's fine. I mean come on, it's him. He knows how to make any girl feel wanted, seen, heard, loved." I eyed her, she spoke like she'd experienced being behind all of those. "We went out for a few months."

And there it was, the one thing I was wondering. I didn't say anything, but as she continued to speak, it was like she didn't expect me to answer, she didn't need one.

"He treated me like a princess, look," she says, leaning forward. "He's worth it, he has a kind and pure heart. Don't let him go, that was my mistake." She gives me a kind smile and stands up. "I'll see you around Margo, love your work." Then she was walking away. My eyes went to Alexander, whose eyes were already on me.

I wondered if the guy she described was the same guy who devoured me the other night, or if he has yet to come out because I haven't given him a chance to. I couldn't pull my eyes away from his.

As he stands there, he nods, and says something but doesn't break eye contact. Friends, we should be friends, just friends. I stand up and walk through the crowd until I reached the door with the STAIRS sign. Push the door open and walk through.

I stand against the wall and close my eyes. His gaze was there, in the black void, imprinted. I open my eyes and glance down at my Mary Jane shoes. He's worth it? Maybe he was for you, but...I don't know. I wasn't giving him a fair chance, but...I didn't do the love thing right.

"I love you," Liam said. We were at Le Bernardin, a restaurant in Midtown Manhattan. He looked me deeply in the eye, my hand in his. I just sat there, staring at him. I couldn't say it back to him, yet, or maybe ever. "You don't have to say it back, I just want you to know."

What was love anyway? An agreement between two people? Some sort of system to keep your heart captive? A way to control me?

When I was eleven years old, my father had a friend, and he would buy Marco and me clothes, anything valuable in our years of age. Once Marco was at his soccer practice and I was home doing homework, my mom was at her home office in a serious phone call that had her saying some really bad words. My father was at his auto shop in the Philippines, and I remember missing him, but I wanted to finish my work so I can watch an Italian Novella that I would watch with my mother but she was busy. None of my parents had time for me.

My father's friend came to visit, and he called my name and claimed to have a gift for me. I considered him my uncle. He was of importance to our family. So of course, I was happy to see him. I ran and hugged him. He led me to the kitchen, where he told all the cooks and waitresses to get out. I was confused, but he kept a smile on his face, and he set a white box on the table. I knew it was a cake, but when he opened the box I was just as surprised to see a Panettone, the most Italian traditional cake that was originally meant for holiday seasons, but it was my favorite.

I smiled widely, clapped my hands and he cut a piece out for me. I grabbed the fork and ate it as I sat on a stool. As I ate it, he kissed my cheek as he stood behind me, initially, I thought he was just being sweet so I smiled at him. My dad did the same thing before he left to work, so I didn't think much of it.

He kissed me again, and I giggled, and he kept kissing me, and eventually, I began to feel uncomfortable, questioning if the man behind me was my uncle or if I'd mistaken him. "What are you doing?" I had asked. He told me he was just showing me some love, to keep eating, every kid wanted to be shown love.

So I kept eating, but as I did, he kept kissing me, and then he pulled my shirt down and my shoulder was out, exposed to the air. He kissed it, and I felt weird inside, my cake wasn't enough to keep me happy, I was feeling nauseous. I wasn't too young, I knew what he was doing wasn't right. I was eleven for crying out loud.

His kisses moved to my neck, and that's when I hopped off the stool. I moved away from the man that called himself my uncle. I felt tears prick at my eyes as I moved away, moved back, feeling scared. My happiness was replaced.

I wanted to yell for my mom, but she was busy, she would probably ignore me and think I wanted to play. So I just kept moving away as he was trying to convince me that everything was okay. I shook my head, and in seconds he had me against the counter, and that's when I screamed. He blocked my mouth and tears ran down my face. Had no one heard me, I asked myself.  I had no idea. But one thing I did know was that love didn't mean the same thing to everyone. His was the worst kind.

After that day, I kept to myself, never came out of my room, unless my mom was going to do a fitting for a fashion designer, or a famous person who wanted her to make a dress. I never told anyone what happened, not till this day, as I stood there on the staircase, my tears fell, and I felt disgusted. That bastard was the reason why I wanted to be alone, why love wasn't believable, why I doubt people's words, why I can't say 'I love you' back. Why I want Alexander to keep his distance.

Because of him, I find it hard to trust anyone.

The door opened, and wiped my face, Alexander appeared and the door closed behind him. He looked at me with worry, and I looked away, still wiping my tears away. I sighed and pushed myself off the wall.

"Are you..." I didn't meet his eyes. "Want to join me on the roof?"

I sniffed and looked up at him, but he was already making his way up the stairs not waiting for an answer. I followed him, reluctantly. On the next floor, we took the elevator, and then after a few minutes there we were on the roof, the air was cold so I hugged myself.

New York sparkled around, and below us.

When I caught up to him, he was reaching into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He flipped it open and put a cigarette between his lips. He looked over at me and offered me one, I shook my head, and with a nod, he shoves it back in his pocket.

The last time I saw him with a cigarette between his lips, was the day after we'd slept together.

He took out a lighter from his other pocket. As he flicked it, he used his other hand to cover it so that the wind won't blow it off. I watched him curiously, who was Alexander in reality, behind his lustful gaze and irresistible charm?

Once his cigarette consumed the fire, he blew in and then a few seconds later released the smoke up to the sky. He turned his gaze at me, realizing my eyes were on him. I look away and took in the view.

We were high up but not higher than my penthouse, this though was different. We weren't protected by my windows. This roof wasn't wide, thinner than I had imagined it. But the top portion of the hotel had steep sides.

I glanced over at him, the cigarette dangled from the corner of his mouth as he looked at me. "I won't stop my efforts to open your heart," he says, the cigarette still between his lips.

"It's not going to be easy," I state and look back to the beauty that was New York City.

"I agree." He appears in front of me, blocking the view. I wanted to both smack and kiss him there and now. A mix of feelings swirled through my flesh as I stared back at him. Watched as he cocked his head and reached for his cigarette, and blew out smoke. Instead of placing it back between his lips, he holds it to the side and continued to stare.

"So are you going to tell me?"

I look at him in confusion, but then I realize that he was talking about earlier when he caught me crying. I gulp, and look down. "Someone did something bad to me, and it was an awful memory, I couldn't hold back my tears."

I look at him, lost for the reason why I had admitted that to him.

"What happened," he says but pauses. "If you don't mind me asking."

I clear my throat and hugged myself harder. "When I was eleven, I was molested by a family friend." His jaw clenched, and his eyes darkened. "He bought Marco and me gifts, so I trusted him, but then he did th..." My voice cracks, Alexander tosses his cigarette to the ground and steps on it before he wraps his arms around me and I cry onto his chest.

"I'm...I'm sorry that shit happened to you," he says. "Fuck, now I understand, I'm sorry, fuck!"

I pulled away and wiped my eyes. He brushes the blonde hair away from my face and wipes my tears away. "You don't have to apologize, you did nothing wrong, n-not really."

He brushes his hair, which was blown onto his face, back. He holds his hands behind his head and looks out into the distance.

I look at him, not sure what to expect. Was he going to explode? I mean, it sounded like he had done just that a few minutes ago. A silence filled the space between us, the only sound came from the cars blowing their horn down below, and a siren blaring in the distance.

"I think we should just be friends," I say, filling the silence a few minutes later that felt more like an hour, and I think it could've been. He looks at me, not excepting that. Or maybe he had, but hearing the words made it realistic.

He puts his hands down and nods. "I understand, friends it is."