Why Are You Sorry?

AYSU

When Aysu came to and failed to speak, the great surprise that took over her was so great that as she watched some men drag Ximun out of the room, her eyes closed and she failed to open them until hours later.

But, the thing that shocked her the most the moment she woke up again was the stirring in her heart. The first thing that popped into her head was the thought of Ximun and that caused her to tilt her head to see if he was in the room.

He wasn’t.

But Andrew was.

The man saw that she was awake, so he got up and walked to her. “Should I get Ximun?” he asked, as though he read her mind.

While she tried to comprehend her need to see Ximun, Aysu nodded in response.

But, minutes later, when Ximun did walk into the room, her desire to create distance between them resurfaced. So, she faced the other side of the room to avoid eye contact.

“Aysu.” His voice was unlike what she was used to hearing. It wasn’t strong and threatening. It wasn’t full of unspoken schemes nor was it taunting. His voice was sad. Very sad. “Aysu,” a thud followed, “I am sorry.”

She was tempted to turn and query his apology but she wondered if she would be able to handle the surge of emotions that would be emitted.

‘Oh please,’ Alora spoke from within, ‘just face him and make out already. I mean, make up.’

‘Way to check up on me, Alora,’ Aysu admonished her wolf.

‘Meh. You are fine regardless of what happened. We have been through worse so it will take more than a-’

Aysu frowned. Her wolf’s pause was too sudden. ‘Alora, are you fine?’

‘Something is different.’

‘What?’

‘The pup,’ Alora breathed with a shiver. ‘What has happened to the pup?’

‘Alora,’ Aysu’s heart shook with fear, ‘what are you talking about?’ At the same time, her hand found her belly. ‘Nothing has happened, right? My baby is fine, right?’

‘Aysu, I don’t… Something is wrong.’

Abruptly, Aysu sat up and directed her widened gaze at Ximun. “What happened? Why do you keep saying sorry?”

“Aysu…”

“What happened to my baby?”

“T-the baby uhm… The baby…”

“Speak up!” His hesitation was breaking her heart, she was already nearing tears. “What is wrong?”

“The baby didn’t make it, Aysu.” He immediately got on his knees, his head ducked in shame. “Aysu… I am so sorry.”

’The…” It became very hard to speak, so she shredded a great portion of her gown’s neckline. “My baby. My baby? Ximun, my baby?”

“I am so sorry, Aysu. I am very sorry. With all that I am, I am very-”

“Stop fucking saying you are sorry!” Aysu screamed, her hand slapping a random object in his direction. “Stop fucking saying that!”

“This is all my fault, Aysu.”

“Is it?” Aysu asked, her brows lifted in question. Then, a thick breath escaped her and she got to her feet. She knelt before the man and grabbed the neck of his shirt. “Is it really your fault?”

“Yes,” came his very whispered answer. “I have been very unfair and unreasonable to… to you. I failed to protect you when it mattered. I… I failed to protect our child.”

“So, what are you going to do? Uh? Will you bring our child back to life? The one good thing that has happened in my damned life, how will you bring it back? Huh?” At this point, her face was messy with tears and her breaths became shorter as she struggled with her quivering lips. “Tell me!”

“Aysu…”

She made sure her grip on his shirt was very firm. “Look into my eyes and tell me, Ximun.”

“Aysu.” Ximun finally looked into her eyes, his bloodshot eyes very triggering to her growing sorrow. “Aysu,” he repeated, his voice as weak as her soul.

“What? Huh?” She let the tears flow and she fully welcomed the pain of that moment. “Are you still sorry?”

Ximun, though with initial hesitation, slowly held her shoulders. Then, from there, his arms engulfed her and that contact urged her to melt into his embrace.

From that moment, nothing more was said. Aysu cried into his chest and Ximun hugged her close as though that moment was the last time they would ever be together.

A few hours later, Aysu’s tears reduced to internal pains. She was back on the bed, but Ximun was still on his knees even though she occasionally urged him to get up.

Aysu glanced at him but soon turned her attention to the window side to view the gloomy daylight. With the hope that it would rain soon, Aysu wondered if the rush of rainfall would be enough to wash away the pain in her chest.

“Ximun.” Seconds later, she finally uttered his name. “What happened?” Without looking at him, she sensed his hesitation. So she urged him, saying, “Tell me.”

“It was uh… poison.”

“Who did it?” Her question was almost soulless.

“We don’t know yet. The suspects are not owning up.”

“I see.”

“The investigations are still ongoing so-”

“You suspect Magnetino and Gideon, don’t you?”

“At first, I did.” His eyes finally met hers. “But there are other suspects.”

“I see.”

“I-”

Aysu stopped him. “I don’t wish to hear about that anymore. It is saddening.”

“Definitely.”

“Why are you still on your knees?”

“I deserve worse punishment.”

“Why?”

“I keep hurting you.” His head danced left to right. “Ever since we’ve met, I have hurt you. And now, I failed to protect you and our child. What kind of mate am I if I can’t protect the woman I love.”

“Love?” Aysu’s brows perked. “You… love me?”

“I know I do,” he replied. “Perhaps, I always did from the moment we met again but didn’t realise it because I was too foolish. But ever since the day you boldly demanded to be mated, things I didn’t know I could feel started sprouting. Sure, I was angry at first, but I soon felt love and learnt patience and control. I felt peace and I finally understood that it never hurts to believe a little. Aysu,” a small smile was on his lips, “I realised all this because of you. So, whenever I remember that I hurt such a precious soul, I always wish to plunge myself into the deepest of punishment.”

Aysu scoffed. “Would you even be able to survive that? You sure talk silly.”

He didn’t mind her words. “Aysu, the things I said in the forest the other day are words that I mean with my whole soul. I want to be with you, Aysu. I really do.”

Aysu sighed and the next second, she sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to him with a stretched hand.

He accepted her offer and sat beside her, his head still lowered as though a puppy in timeout.

Then, she covered her hand with his and said, “Over the past weeks, I have tried my best to hate you. But our mate bond is a strong bastard.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Ximun now sounded a bit less gloomy.

Aysu nodded and a slight smile grew on her lips. “I guess what I am trying to say is that I don’t hate you. I don’t think I ever did. But unlike you, it’s presently hard for me to feel love towards you because you did hurt me.” He tightened the contact between their hands. “But one thing I can tell is that soon, I will be feeling the things you feel and perhaps even more.”

“That is really assuring, Aysu. Thank you.” He hugged her to his side and the fact that she allowed him made his next words possess a slightly joyful tune. “I am glad you are okay.”

“I guess.”

“And I am truly sorry about the baby. I know my words won’t be enough to heal the pain of this event, but I am truly sorry.”

“You say sorry too much, Ximun.”

“I should shut up, shouldn’t I?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” After that, Ximun did stop talking.

And they remained in silence and partial embrace for a great deal of that moment. So when the heavy rainfall came, it made relief wash over her.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hello 🤗

And thank you for journeying with me.

I would like to apologise for the errors here and there. It's being a rough couple of weeks since I wrote this story, so I haven't had the time to go over the edits once again.

Going forward, before uploading, I'll make sure to do a double check for errors.

Okay... That's all from me for now.

Let's head back into the story. We have to know who did that terrible thing to our darling Aysu.

❤️