I’ve Got You Now

RAINEY

“Can you believe this school doesn’t have Sprite? Sprite is everything. Are they even human? And this skirt. My legs are freezing! I should’ve just worn one of those nun ones.”

Riley’s complaints make me laugh as we stand by the water fountain in the hall. Having her at school with me has been a comfort.

We’re lucky enough to share a few classes, so we always try to sit together.

With her petite frame and youthful face, she could easily pass for a grade-schooler. But since we got here, she’s been turning heads left and right.

I see a few guys openly checking her out and throwing flirty comments her way. She doesn’t seem to enjoy the attention much, especially since she has a boyfriend.

“Your turn.” I step away from the fountain after quenching my thirst, and Riley steps up, sweeping her hair to one side as she bends to drink.

“Whoa, damn. Who’s this?” a voice comes from behind us, and I turn to see Jace ogling Riley’s legs with a lustful gaze.

When he sees me, he steps back, looking almost scared, his mouth forming an O as he covers it with his hand.

“Oh, shit. She’s your friend?”

I just stare at him, and he rubs his neck awkwardly. “Didn’t know.”

“Of course they’re friends. Didn’t you see her at Club Naked that night?” Tate joins us just as Riley straightens up, wiping her mouth.

“No, I guess he was too busy being a jerk.” I cross my arms, tilting my head to the side.

“Wow.” Tate gives Riley a quick once-over, raising his eyebrows dramatically.

“Not all girls can pull off that uniform. But I won’t lie. You look damn good, Riley. Nice to see you again. It’s been a while.”

She smirks, adjusting her straps, and I wait for her sharp comeback.

“Ah, yeah, you’re right. We haven’t talked since that night I had the misfortune of seeing your entire package.”

~And there it is.~

I stifle a laugh while Tate grins, running a hand through his dark hair.

“Yeah—uh, let me clear a few things up. I wasn’t hard, so that’s why I might’ve looked smaller than usual.

“And that cop wasn’t chasing me. We just happened to be crossing the street at the same time.”

Riley nods, pursing her lips. “Oh, yeah. I noticed that. It was so obvious.”

“Uh, look Rain…” Jace runs a hand through his hair, and I turn to look at him. “I’m really sorry about what I did. It was a really fucked up thing to do.”

I sigh, shifting my weight. “Your apology is a little late.”

Tate laughs. “He’s only apologizing because he wants Riley’s number.”

Jace glares at him while he continues to laugh, patting his friend’s shoulder. Jace grabs his hand and removes it, giving him a blank look.

“Are you two bothering them?”

A familiar voice joins us, and I turn to see Ansel approaching.

He slips his hand into mine, and I look down at our joined hands, feeling butterflies in my stomach.

“Nope, not at all,” Jace answers quickly, a hint of fear in his eyes, and Riley smiles, rubbing her lips.

“We definitely weren’t. I mean, ~I~ definitely wasn’t,” Tate says. “Jace was trying to hit on Riley.”

Jace gapes at him. “Bro. Not cool.”

“Riley’s my brother’s girlfriend,” Ansel informs them. “So I’d keep my eyes off her, if I were you. He doesn’t take kindly to that sort of thing.”

I smile softly, and Riley’s face turns red as she fiddles with her tie.

“Oh… Oh… He’s lying. I wasn’t…” Jace stammers, taking a step back, looking a bit uneasy.

Tate’s gaze lands on my and Ansel’s joined hands. He squints, pointing at them. “Wait. Hold on. Are you two—?”

“Yeah, they are.” Riley smiles sweetly. “Little too late, huh?”

Tate blinks rapidly, looking stunned, his mouth hanging open as we start to walk away. Jace sighs once we’re out of sight, patting his friend’s shoulder.

“Told you they were fucking, dude.”

“I still don’t get why you’re both so obsessed with those two girls. It’s pathetic.” Olivia, who has somehow appeared next to the two boys, looks at them in disgust.

Tate gives her a flat look, shaking his head. “And I’m still wondering why you’re so obsessed with a guy who doesn’t even know you exist. That’s pathetic.”

“HAHA!” Jace doubles over laughing as Olivia gasps, watching Tate walk away.

“Burn!” He sticks out his tongue at his shocked cousin as he follows his friend.

He’s still not over her tattling on him the other day. He’ll probably hold that grudge forever.

***

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” I ask, kicking off my boots and flopping onto Ansel’s bed.

“Hmm. A doctor, or maybe a lawyer. A psychiatrist could be interesting too.” He smiles at me before turning back to his closet, loosening his tie.

I picture Ansel in a doctor’s coat, and I blush. With his caring nature and good looks, he’d make a great one.

“And what about you?” he asks, starting to unbutton his dress shirt while I tuck my legs beneath me, giving a noncommittal shrug.

“I don’t know. Does it mean I’m lost if I’m still unsure?”

He shakes his head, dismissing my worry. “Not at all. There’s plenty of time. Dreams can change in a heartbeat when you’re eighteen.

“You’re still figuring out who you are. You’re still trying to understand life. You’re growing and changing every day, so what you think today might not be what you think tomorrow.

“Just go with the flow.”

Forget being a doctor. Ansel would make a fantastic psychiatrist.

~And a good-looking one at that.~ Now dressed in just his white tank top and plaid pants, I can’t help but admire his muscular arms as he folds his shirt neatly.

He turns around, and I quickly drop my gaze to my hands, clearing my throat. “Do you think I could be a poet?”

His lips curl into a smile, revealing one of his dimples. “Absolutely, Rain. You’re incredible. There’s nothing you can’t do.”

I grin, glancing at the guitar propped against the wall beneath his window. “I can’t play the guitar, though,” I admit with a laugh.

“Really?” His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and I nod.

“You make it look so effortless. How do you do it?”

His interest piqued by the topic of guitars, he lets out a cheerful sigh, running a hand through his hair as he moves to pick up the instrument.

“It’s not as hard as it seems. Well, it can be a bit tricky at first, to be honest.” He positions the guitar across his body and strums a few chords, filling the room with a soft, resonating sound.

“The key is to feel the music.” He smiles. “Want me to show you?”

“Yeah, sure.” I adjust my position on his bed as he walks over to me.

“We can try ‘Lucky’ by Jason Mraz, but a slower version.”

“I know that song. It should be easy, then.”

He laughs, a sound as beautiful as the chords he just played.

“Hold on. It’s not as simple as it seems. But I like your enthusiasm.”

His eyes sparkle with admiration, and I chuckle as he hands me the guitar. He sits down next to me as I position the instrument against my body, mimicking his earlier stance.

“Good. Your posture is great. But this finger needs to be here, on the fretboard.”

He reaches around me, and I catch a whiff of his fresh, clean scent.

My face flushes, heating up like a flame, and I try to keep my breathing steady as he lifts my index finger and places it on the fretboard.

“Great. Now, the thing with playing the guitar is that a simple mistake in hand position can throw everything off.

“Your left hand holds the strings against the frets, which are these little sections along the neck, right?”

I nod.

“So, always hold the neck of the guitar in a V shape created by your thumb and forefinger. You should be able to move your left hand along the neck comfortably. Like this.”

He positions my thumb and index finger into a V shape around the neck of the guitar and moves them up and down for demonstration.

“Now, your right hand goes here. This is where you strum or pluck the strings.”

He places his hand over mine, which is resting at the base of the guitar. A thrill runs through me at the contact, and I shift slightly, swallowing hard.

I’m probably the only one feeling butterflies right now, since Ansel seems completely focused on teaching me.

I’m worried he’ll hear my heart pounding. I hope we start playing soon to drown it out.

“Now, when you strum, it should be loose and relaxed. It involves downstrokes and upstrokes, hitting all the strings evenly and at the same time.

“You strum with your wrist, so your elbow shouldn’t move much. Now let me show you.”

He starts to move my hand under his, guiding my fingers on the neck of the guitar as he plucks the strings.

We start playing “Lucky,” the sweet, satisfying melody filling the room.

As we play, the world outside seems to disappear, as if we’re creating our own universe where we’re the only inhabitants.

I start to imagine what it would be like if we were the only people on earth, and I decide we’d probably be pretty happy.

We’d be free from the judgment and unfairness of others.

Most of the pain and scars we carry are caused by the thoughtless actions of others.

The world is perfect, but the heartless people who inhabit it are often the source of our inner and outer turmoil.

I learned that lesson far too young.

The song ends, and I turn to him with a wide smile. “That was beautiful.”

My words trail off, and my smile fades into a nervous expression as I see the intense look in Ansel’s eyes.

He’s already looking at me, his face serious but filled with emotion. It’s clear he was as caught up in the moment as I was.

This moment means as much to him as it does to me.

I swallow hard, searching his gaze. “What?”

He doesn’t answer my anxious question. Instead, he lowers his gaze to my lips and leans in, resting his forehead against mine with his eyes closed.

I can feel the intense emotion radiating from him, and my heart pounds so hard I can see my shirt moving with each beat.

He brushes his nose against mine, and I close my eyes, parting my lips as I take a deep breath.

The anticipation I feel whenever we’re this close is almost too much to bear, and I tighten my grip on the guitar.

He brushes his lips against mine, and my body melts. If I were standing, I would have collapsed by now, given how weak my knees feel.

Finally, he closes the tiny gap between us, pressing his lips to mine. A soft sigh escapes me, and warmth floods my body as he kisses me with fervor.

His hand moves, gently taking the guitar from my grasp and setting it on the floor.

Cupping the side of my neck, I feel his tongue gently nudging against my lips, and I instinctively part them, allowing him to slide it inside.

It feels pleasantly warm and soft against the inside of my mouth.

He presses himself against me, and I lie flat on the bed as he hovers over me. Our mouths move in sync, his body grinding against mine in pure desire.

Then he slowly breaks the kiss and looks into my eyes. I scan his, noticing an emotion I can’t identify, and my forehead furrows in confusion.

“Rainey,” he starts, his hands bracing the bed to keep his weight off me. He seems a bit unsure as he lowers his head, closing his eyes for a moment before meeting my gaze again.

“If I were to do something really bad, would you still feel the same about me?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“I mean if…if I were to hurt someone…and they completely deserved it…but you found out that I’m not entirely a good person, would you still be here?”

I search his face. ~What’s he trying to say?~ I’m not sure I understand what he’s trying to tell me, but I do know that nothing could change my feelings for him. Nothing at all.

“No matter what, you’ll always mean the world to me,” I whisper. “Always, Ansel.”

He stares at me, and I watch as his expression softens to one of affection and something else…~relief.~ His body relaxes slightly, his eyes brightening.

He lowers his head and kisses me again, this time with more passion than before. He moves to my cheek, showering kisses along my neck, and I tilt my head to the side to give him full access.

“I want to see your body,” he murmurs against my skin, and a rush of arousal floods my mind.

“Can I?”

I nod absentmindedly as he pulls back to meet my gaze. My chest rises and falls in sharp breaths as he keeps one hand on the bed and uses the other to slowly undo the buttons of my school blouse.

Each button undone heightens my anticipation, and since I’d already removed my tie when I arrived, it won’t be long before his eyes take in my chest.

As soon as the last button is undone, Ansel drops his gaze to my bare stomach, and my cheeks flush even more.

He begins to remove my shirt, and I sit up to help him, unhooking my bra and sliding it off my arms.

Now I’m lying beneath him, naked from the waist up, and his eyes roam over my body while my cheeks heat under his gaze.

ANSEL

Ansel is speechless and awed as his eyes meet her chest.

The soft mounds on her chest aren’t small, but they aren’t large either. They are perky and perfect, the tiny nubs on her areolae taut and flushed.

He’s never seen anything this ~beautiful.~

He swallows hard, his face flushing as he feels his arousal straining against his pants.

Rainey notices his silence and immediately feels self-conscious, assuming that he probably doesn’t like what he sees.

Ever since the traumatic events of her childhood, she’s developed a slight insecurity about her body.

The two men made her private areas seem like a cruel gift, and she sometimes wishes she could just remove them from her body.

She hates to see them, so she doesn’t blame Ansel for his reaction.

Assuming that the silence confirms her self-doubts, she swallows and reaches for her shirt, but Ansel quickly grabs her hand to stop her, his jaw noticeably tight.

“Don’t,” he whispers.

Her eyes are wide as she meets his gaze, a bright blush spreading across his cheeks.

“Please…don’t.”

Her throat tightens as he intertwines his fingers with hers, pressing her hand against the bed beside her head.

“You’re perfect. So perfect.”

His words of adoration cause tears to well in her eyes, and even though she doesn’t fully believe them, the sincerity in his voice makes her feel as though she really is.

Still holding her hand, Ansel lowers his head to plant a kiss between her breasts.

Her breath catches in her throat as she closes her eyes. She feels his lips trail across to take one of her aroused nubs between his lips.

With each suck and nip of her soft bud, Rainey feels like her soul is leaving her body, and she clenches his duvet in her hand, her eyes tightly shut.

Ansel releases the hand he’d been holding to cup the other breast. While his hand gently massages one, his lips are kissing the other with soft passion.

His teeth graze her nipple, his lips pulling at it gently before showering sweet kisses around her areola.

A soft moan escapes her, and she bites down on her lower lip, unsure of how much more she can take.

He continues his blissful torture for a while, causing her to squirm slightly beneath him, arching her back in desire.

He switches his lips between the two breasts equally, ensuring both receive equal attention.

She is severely aroused, and she can feel the evidence between her legs.

He kisses all the way up her body to connect their lips again, his mouth exploring hers just as it had explored her chest, leaving her nipples hard and stimulated.

Her skirt has ridden up, and Ansel gropes her thigh, gently squeezing and caressing it as he kisses her. His hand beneath her skirt now begins to roam higher until he’s tugging at her panties.

Slipping his hand under the lace band, he sensually strokes her waistline, his fingers dangerously close to her sex.

His lips move rapidly against hers, and his fingers barely graan the soft flesh of her womanhood when he abruptly breaks the kiss.

Rainey’s lips part in surprise as she looks at him in concern.

“What?”

He closes his eyes. His mind somehow goes back to those two men. He doesn’t want to impose anything she doesn’t want.

He wants her to give consent. He wants to ensure she wants him to touch her.

“I…” Ansel sighs, struggling to find the right words. “Rain, do you want me to touch you?”

She nods, her gaze locked with his. “Yes. I do.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She takes his hand and places it on her thigh. “Please, Ansel.”

He looks at her, seeing the desire mirrored in her brown eyes. He wants her just as much, and if she’s comfortable, he won’t hold back.

~As long as she’s comfortable.~

He kisses her again, his hand moving up her thigh. Rainey’s heart pounds in her chest, and she closes her eyes as he slips his hand under her panties.

She thinks she’s ready. She thinks she can handle this. But then, a wave of memories crashes over her.

Trigger. That mental barrier that keeps you stuck in the past, that keeps dragging you back. The aftermath of enduring severe trauma.

~“Jeff? Is everything okay?” Her eyes are wide and innocent in the dark as she starts to sit up.~

~His face emerges from the shadows, illuminated by the moonlight streaming through her window. He’s sitting by her bed, a finger pressed to his lips as he gently pushes her back down.~

~“Nothing’s wrong, princess. Just lie back down.”~

~She looks up at him, too young to understand the dark intent in his eyes.~

~“Now listen, okay? Uncle Jeff is just very sad that Greg got to play with you and he didn’t.”~

~At the mention of the man who used to be her favorite playmate, she shivers. The room is dark, but Jeff can see the fear in her eyes.~

~“Don’t worry. Don’t worry. I won’t be as rough as he was. Just trust me, I won’t hurt you.” Jeff reaches for the hem of her dress, and she starts to squirm away as she realizes what’s happening.~

~“Please don’t do it.”~

~“Rainey, I won’t hurt you. Just lie still please.” He moves closer to her as she shakes her head.~

~“No…”~

~“Listen, sweetheart. Little girls have to go through this. All girls your age do. It’s part of growing up.”~

~“No, I don’t like it. Please don’t.”~

~Jeff loses his patience and roughly grabs her legs, quickly finding his way under her nightdress. She starts to cry, and he covers her mouth with his hand, muffling her sobs.~

~Each tear that falls on his hand is ignored as he continues to hurt the little girl struggling beneath him.~

~She screams for her dad, but her voice can’t reach beyond the walls of her room.~

~No matter how much she begs, her father doesn’t come to save her.~

~No one saves her, not even her mom, who’s in the same house.~

“Rainey…”

Ansel watches her, his face filled with concern as she squeezes her eyes shut, tears leaking out.

The moment he touched her, he felt her flinch, and he stopped to see if she was okay. But he found her lost in her own world.

He knew instantly that she was reliving the horrors of her past, and her silence confirmed it.

“Rainey, look at me, please,” he whispers.

She finally opens her eyes, and Ansel’s heart aches at the sight of her tears.

Seeing her like this is like a punch to his gut. He’s overwhelmed by a rush of emotions.

“I’m sorry…it’s not that I didn’t like it…” She wipes her eyes, her tears flowing freely. “I did, but…I…”

Struggling to explain her reaction, she cries softly. Ansel’s eyes fill with sympathy.

She’s shaking, just like the little girl he imagined. The image is too real, and it breaks his heart.

“It’s okay.” His voice cracks, but he tries to stay calm. “It’s okay, Rain. I know. It’s okay.”

~It isn’t.~ She turns away from him, and he sees her back shaking as she cries into his pillow. Her body trembles uncontrollably, as if she’s drowning in a sea of painful memories.

Ansel doesn’t know what to do. Seeing her like this could drive him mad.

He runs a hand through his hair, then lies down next to her and wraps his arms around her. She jumps slightly at his touch. He kisses her head, his eyes stinging with tears.

“It’s okay. I love you. I love you, Rain.”

His comforting words don’t seem to reach her as she continues to whimper.

She clenches her thighs together, as if she can still feel the hands of her attackers.

Her face is flushed and wet with tears, and Ansel brushes her damp hair back, kissing her forehead.

“It’s okay. I know what they did. I know what they did to you. It’ll be okay. I’m here. I love you, Rain.”

He holds her close, burying his face in her hair. Her desperate cries and frantic heartbeat are all he can hear as he holds her trembling body.

He rocks her gently, and even though she stiffens against him, he doesn’t let go. He kisses her forehead over and over, whispering words of comfort.

“I’m here, Rainey. I’m here and I won’t leave you. You’re okay. You’re okay. I’ve got you now.”

~I’ve got you now.~