Feels

RAINEY

~Rain, why are you so beautiful? So perfect?~

Those words echo in my mind as I sit on the motel bed, flipping through cable channels, hoping to distract myself.

The sound of the shower running, Ansel behind the door, sends a flush of heat through me. Maybe it’s the thought of him, naked and wet, just a few feet away.

Ever since our intense make-out session, I can’t shake the feeling of his touch.

I need to stop thinking about it. It’s messing with my hormones.

But every time I close my eyes, his face, his smile, and the look in his eyes when he looked at me, they all come rushing back.

I sigh, changing the channel again, my body tensing as the sound of the shower stops.

I sit up straight, leaning against the mahogany headboard, trying to act like he’s not the only thing on my mind.

Ansel steps out of the bathroom, his hair damp from the shower. Thankfully, he’s wearing a T-shirt.

I don’t think I could handle him shirtless right now. That would totally give away how affected I am.

“What are you watching?” he asks, sitting down next to me.

The bed dips under his weight, his fresh scent filling the air. The simple touch of his knee against mine sends a strange sensation through me.

“I don’t know. Just flipping through channels, trying to find something interesting.”

A silence settles between us. I pick a random movie, hoping it’ll help ease the awkwardness.

Ansel leans back against the headboard, and we start watching the movie. Not even five minutes in, a couple starts making out.

The man’s hand is tangled in the woman’s hair, her arms wrapped around him, their bodies moving together in a passionate dance.

My legs twitch nervously. Given what just happened between Ansel and me, this scene is making me incredibly uncomfortable. Maybe they’ll just kiss and move on with the story, right?

~Wrong.~

They start undressing, and I squirm in discomfort, my cheeks burning as I realize where this is going.

I glance at Ansel. His face is flushed, but he’s trying to act cool, tapping his finger against his knee.

~I need to change the channel.~

I grab the remote, quickly changing the channel, only to land on an even more explicit sex scene.

~Why on earth would they air something this graphic?~

I cough, trying to hit the Skip button, but instead, I turn up the volume. The uncensored film continues on the screen, the characters moaning in pleasure.

I quickly switch to a cartoon, and Ansel chuckles. I look at him, feeling embarrassed.

“What?”

He shakes his head, trying to hide a smile. “Nothing. We don’t have to watch TV if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“No, it’s not that. I just don’t like…sex scenes,” I try to explain, and he smiles, nodding.

“I can tell.”

He looks at me, and I feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

“I’m going to get some sleep.”

I start to move away, but he grabs my hand. I look into his eyes. The blue light from the TV reflects in them, making them even more captivating.

I look down at his hand holding mine, my heart flipping at the sight. Over the sound of the cartoon characters, he speaks. His voice is soft and calm.

“Would you like to sleep with me?”

I blink, my face turning an even deeper shade of red. “W-what?”

Seeing my reaction, Ansel smiles gently. “I mean, would you like to lie next to me? There are two beds, and Alex can use the other one. We can share this one…if you want.”

~Oh.~

I swallow, feeling nervous. “Okay…”

“Are you sure you’re comfortable with that?”

I nod, and he smiles slightly, reaching for the remote and turning off the TV. He lies back, and I do the same, pulling the duvet up to our bodies.

We lie there in silence, staring at the ceiling. My heart is pounding in my chest. Just being in the same bed with him sends tingles through my body.

He turns to look at me, breaking the silence. “Rain.”

I look at him, and he searches my eyes. “Earlier, you said something, and I’ve been wondering what you meant.”

“What did I say?”

He swallows, holding my gaze. “~The feeling of almost being raped was not foreign, but it still hurt like a fresh wound.~”

I stiffen. I don’t remember telling him that. It must have slipped out when I was talking about Kendra. I think I said too much.

“What did you mean by that?”

I shake my head, feeling tears prick at my eyes.

I’m not weak, and I don’t usually cry, but something about the way Ansel looks at you makes you feel vulnerable. It makes you want to open up to him, because he feels safe.

He feels like ~home~.

But I can’t bring myself to talk about those memories. Not yet.

“It didn’t mean anything, really.”

He looks at me, his gaze softening. He probably knows I’m lying, but he doesn’t push. I know he’ll find out eventually.

“You don’t have to talk about it, but just remember, the monsters can’t get to you when I’m here, okay?”

I can only smile and nod as Ansel moves closer, pulling me against his chest.

I blush, feeling a familiar heat between my thighs.

~My hormones are out of control.~

His arms envelop me, and I squirm a bit to find a comfortable spot, my knee brushing against something hard at the front of his shorts.

I gasp softly when I glance down and see his firm arousal pressing against his clothing.

When I look up, he’s already looking at me, his eyes filled with intense desire and something more. Lust.

We lock eyes in silence, our breaths uneven and ragged. The tension in the air thickens, our gazes communicating what our lips can’t.

I’m replaying the feel of his lips on mine, the way his hand gripped my thigh, and I can tell he’s lost in the same memories.

~This is risky. Us, here in bed, it’s risky.~

His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he swallows nervously, his gaze dropping to my lips. “I…think we should try to sleep.”

The longing in his eyes is clear as I nod in agreement, my heart pounding in response to the palpable sexual tension.

“Yeah…we should.”

He’s right. Sleep is the best option, otherwise, something is sure to happen between us.

He gently tugs my head to rest against his chest, and I close my eyes, tuning into the rhythm of his heavy heartbeat.

My heart is pounding just as hard as I try to drift off to sleep, my mind filled with thoughts of how right it feels to be in his arms.