A Glimpse at Your Scars

RAINEY

The soothing sound of the shower running blends with the gentle patter of rain outside, creating a calming atmosphere.

I sink into a chair in the corner of the room, pulling my phone from my bag. Thirteen missed calls light up the screen.

Not surprisingly, none of them are from my mom. She’s probably enjoying the peace and quiet without me around.

All the calls are from my dad, and there’s a single text from Riley. It’s a picture of her with some random cat she likely found wandering the streets.

Riley has a soft spot for animals. She’s the kind of girl who would risk breaking her neck to save a stray kitten. Seeing her picture makes me miss my best friend even more.

I quickly text her back to check in, then dial my dad’s number, swinging my legs back and forth as I wait for him to answer.

He picks up after the third ring, his deep voice filling the line.

“Rainey. I’ve been worried sick.”

“Why?” I wedge the phone between my ear and shoulder, pulling my hair up into a messy bun with a hair tie from my wrist.

“Your mom told me you weren’t home and she didn’t know where you were. I nearly had a heart attack, Rainey. I’ve been trying to reach you all night.”

I roll my eyes, tucking one foot under the other. “She’s the one who told me to stay away tonight.”

“She said what?” He mutters a curse, then lets out a heavy sigh. “I’m calling her right now. I just hope her jerk of a boyfriend doesn’t answer, or I’ll give him a piece of my mind.”

“You don’t need to call her,” I say, cringing at the memory of Jeff’s embarrassing display at the café earlier. “I’m fine. I could use a break from that house anyway.”

My dad is quiet for a moment, and I pull the phone away from my ear to check if he’s still on the line. Seeing that the call is still connected, I put the phone back to my ear.

“Dad?”

“I’m sorry, Rain.” His voice is soft and filled with regret.

He’s not the one who should be apologizing; that should be my mom. But she couldn’t care less about tearing our family apart, so why should my dad feel guilty?

He always treated her with nothing but love.

I let out a long sigh. “For what?”

“For not being there for you.” His voice cracks. “I’m really sorry.”

My dad is a sensitive man, even more so than my mom. She’s the tough type who thinks everything should go her way.

My dad is more understanding, often letting her have her way even if it meant his own discomfort.

“You don’t have to be,” I reassure him for what feels like the hundredth time. I always tell him that none of this is his fault. “I mean, you keep my card topped up every month. That’s enough.”

It’s not, and we both know it.

“Don’t say that. Money can’t replace anything,” he argues. “I’m really sorry, Rain. If I wasn’t so—”

The bathroom door creaks open, signaling that Ansel is done with his shower. Not wanting to air my personal business in front of him, I quickly end the call.

“Dad, I’m fine. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Are you safe? I’m not in the country right now. If I was—”

“Dad, I know. I’ll call you tomorrow. I’m tired, okay?”

“Okay, Rain… I love you.”

“I love you more.” I blow a kiss into the phone, then hang up.

Ansel steps out of the bathroom, flashing me a small smile. I return it, but my smile fades as a blush creeps up my cheeks. He’s shirtless, his pants hanging low on his hips.

I can’t help but notice the defined abs on his toned stomach, water droplets from the shower racing down his chest.

His hair is damp and messy, falling over his eyes in a carefree way.

Speaking of his eyes, he’s not wearing his glasses, and I get a chance to see how beautiful they are.

His hair partially obscures them, but I can still see them clearly from where I’m sitting.

I’ve never seen him without his glasses before. It’s a new sight, and it’s intriguing.

His gaze shifts to me, and I quickly look down, pretending to be engrossed in my phone. In reality, I’m just mindlessly scrolling through my Instagram feed.

He walks over to his closet, turning his back to me to grab a shirt. I seize the opportunity to sneak another look.

His tattoo, usually hidden, is now visible. I squint, trying to make out the design.

After nearly straining my eyes, I finally recognize it. It’s a snake coiled around the number five, the same design I saw at the tattoo parlor, the same one Alaric has.

What does that design mean? I remember the tattoo artist saying it was a custom design.

Ansel pulls a white T-shirt over his head, shaking his hair back into place. I’m so lost in thought that I don’t realize I’m staring at his bicep.

He turns around, catching me in the act. He chuckles, a curious look on his face. “You okay?”

I snap out of my daze, realizing I’ve been weirdly staring at his arm.

“Uh, yeah. I was just…”

~I can’t even come up with an excuse.~

He smiles. “Just what?”

“Lost in my thoughts for a moment,” I admit.

Ansel’s grin is unyielding as he saunters over to me. “Caught daydreaming while staring at me?”

A blush creeps up my cheeks, and I part my lips to respond, but quickly close them when I realize I’m at a loss for words.

He chuckles, taking a seat on the bed next to the chair I’m perched on. “Just messing with you, Rain.”

He meets my gaze, and without his glasses on, it’s all too easy to get lost in his eyes. I quickly divert my attention to the fuzzy rug under my feet.

“Um…which bed is yours? You didn’t mention.”

“This one,” he replies, pushing his damp hair out of his eyes as he rises to head towards the other bed. “I’ll bunk on Alex’s.”

“Okay, thanks.”

I climb in, tucking myself under the covers while Ansel settles into Alex’s bed. I lie on my side, facing him. His scent lingers on his pillow, and I fight the urge to take a deep, audible sniff as I nestle my head against it.

“Do you prefer to sleep with the lights on or off?” he asks, lying flat on his back as he glances over at me.

I’ve always hated sleeping in the dark. Mostly because when I was a kid, the monster that haunted my nights only came when the lights were out.

I’ve told Ansel before, I’m not scared of thieves or gangs. But the dark? As ridiculous as it may sound, it unnerves me. It brings back memories I’d rather forget.

“On,” I reply softly.

He studies me. “Okay.”

I offer a half-smile and close my eyes, mainly to avoid his gaze.

Sometimes, I get the feeling that Ansel knows more than I’d like him to. I hope I’m wrong this time. I don’t like being an open book. It feels like it strips me of my control.

I’ve learned that people often exploit your weaknesses once they discover them.

It’s strange, because Ansel has only known me for a few days, yet it feels like he’s known me forever.

Today hasn’t been my day, and I thought it couldn’t get any worse, but when the thunder roars and the room plunges into darkness, I realize that it’s never too late for a downpour.

“Power outage,” Ansel sighs, tossing his covers aside and climbing out of bed. “This happens a lot when it rains heavily.”

I sit up, brushing a loose strand of hair from my face. “It’s okay. I’ll sleep without the lights.”

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but I refuse to show weakness.

“No need, we can just light a candle.”

I can barely make him out in the darkness, but his white T-shirt provides a beacon of sorts.

He flicks on a flashlight to light the candle, and I draw my knees up to my chest, watching the flame dance as he sets it on the bedside table.

He slips back under his covers, and I try to drift off to sleep, but I keep tossing and turning. Ansel hears the rustling, and his voice cuts through the sound of the heavy rain.

“Rain, what’s the matter?”

I frown. “I can’t sleep.”

There’s a brief silence before I hear his sheets rustle and he climbs out of bed. My wide, surprised eyes follow him as he approaches me.

The bed dips as he climbs in next to me, and I catch my breath, instinctively shrinking back.

“Wh-what are you—?”

He props himself up next to me, his back against the headboard as he looks down at me.

“You said you sleep better with the lights on. So…when I was a kid and I couldn’t sleep, my mom would climb into bed with me, and we’d chat until I got sleepy.”

“Oh.” The one upside to this power outage is that Ansel can’t see how red my face is.

I gaze at him, blinking.

He chuckles. “Is this making you uncomfortable?”

I shake my head, sitting up next to him as I tuck my legs beneath me. I won’t lie; I appreciate the company.

“No, it’s not.”

He smiles, his eyes drifting from mine to my lips, then to the rest of my face. Sometimes I wish I could read his mind when he looks at me like this.

I clear my throat. “Uh, your mom… She sounds nice.”

He nods. “Yeah, she is.”

“I…kind of wish my mom was like that,” I mumble, staring at his bedroom door. “But she’s not. She hates me.”

His expression softens. “I’ve seen her in action, and she can be a bit…difficult. But what about your dad? Where is he?”

“He doesn’t live with us. He and my mom got divorced.”

“Oh. So why don’t you live with him?”

“He’s always busy…too busy. So he doesn’t want me home alone.” I sigh, looking at my hands.

A silence descends upon us, then the bed shifts again as Ansel turns to face me. I lift my gaze to meet his.

“How about we play a game?” He grins. “You get to ask me three questions, and I get to ask you three questions. Three questions only, and you have to answer truthfully.”

I mull it over for a few seconds. It seems like a good way to kill time until the power comes back on. I nod in agreement. “Okay, sure.”

“Great. You go first.”

I scratch my temple, pondering what to ask him.

“Um…why weren’t you at school today?” I cock my head to the side, genuinely curious.

He chews on his lower lip for a moment, probably figuring out the best way to answer.

“I had to work a full shift at the café. My mom needed the extra cash to help with bills, so I decided to pitch in,” he replies.

His answer intrigues me. I want to know more about him. He seems to have so many layers.

“My turn.” He smirks, and I suddenly get the feeling that I might regret agreeing to this game.

“I saw something earlier. On your back…there’s a big tattoo of an eagle with chains on its feet. What’s that about?”

I swallow hard.

“It’s about wanting to break free…from the pain and memories that hold me back,” I explain, relieved that he can only ask one question and can’t dig any deeper.

He nods slowly, but I can tell he’s got more questions about it. “Okay. Fair enough. Your turn.”

“What about yours?” I point to his arm and watch his face change to something I can’t quite read.

He lifts his arm, studying the tattoo.

“It’s a promise. My dad was in this…group…and they used this symbol to identify themselves.

“My brothers and I decided to keep the tradition going, so we use the symbol as a sign of our loyalty to each other.”

“So all your brothers have that tattoo?”

Ansel laughs. “Only one question, Rain.”

“I know. This is my last card. I’m using it.”

He grins. “Okay. Yeah, they all do. Alex has one on his neck.”

“Oh… That’s cool.” I smile.

He nods, smiling back a little. “Yeah. My turn?”

“Go ahead.”

“What happened at Freetown High?”

He doesn’t hesitate with his questions, like he’s got them all planned out. I knew this one would come up sooner or later.

I shrug. “I did something really bad. You could say I almost killed someone.”

Ansel looks at me, his face full of curiosity. I swallow and change the subject.

“My last question?”

He nods, still taken aback by my last answer. “Why don’t you like to sleep in the dark?”

~His questions are just too much.~

“Because that’s when the monsters come out,” I answer simply.

He looks at me, his eyes searching mine. “Your answers…they’re really deep.”

I half-smile, looking away from him. Ansel has a way of getting into your head and pulling out information without you even realizing it.

“But you know, Rain, monsters only scare little kids.”

His words make me look at him.

He leans back on his hands. “In movies, have you ever noticed that the parents never see the monsters?

“There’s a strength that comes with growing up, being able to protect yourself. I don’t think they’d hurt you now. They wouldn’t dare to. Not when you have the power to protect yourself.”

I can’t speak as I look at him. He knows something. He must know something. How can he be so right?

We hold each other’s gaze until there’s a loud knock on the door, breaking the moment.

Ansel gets up and goes to the door. He opens it to find a squirming Alex, clutching his stomach.

“I gotta go!”

Ansel makes a face. “What?”

“I gotta pee! Just let me in!” He pushes past Ansel and hurries into the room, giving me a quick grin as he heads for the bathroom.

I try not to laugh, and Ansel shakes his head. “He walked all the way here just to pee, when there’s a bathroom in the twins’ room. I swear my brother isn’t right in the head.”

I chuckle.

The toilet flushes after a minute, and the door opens. Alex comes out, looking relieved. “I thought I was gonna die. Thanks for letting me in, guys. You just saved a bladder.”

“Alex, isn’t there a bathroom in the twins’ room?” Ansel asks.

He frowns. “Yeah, but Aiden’s been having phone sex with some girl in there for over an hour, and I wasn’t about to piss my pants.”

Ansel laughs as his brother gives me a smile, raising his eyebrows. “No lights, just you two, heavy rain… Sounds pretty romantic, don’t you think?”

“Alex, get out.” Ansel pushes his brother out and closes the door.

I smile softly.

Suddenly the lights come back on, and I’m a little disappointed. I was enjoying our talk.

“Well, Alex just ruined that,” Ansel laughs.

I force a smile. “Well…thanks for the talk. It was fun.”

He smiles back. “Yeah, it was for me too.”

He goes to his bed, blows out the candle, and gets under the covers. He lies on his back, and I lay on my side, facing him.

He looks over at me. “Goodnight… The monsters won’t hurt you… Not with me around,” he chuckles. His teeth are even brighter than the lamp in the room.

I smile, nodding a little. “Goodnight.”

He closes his eyes. I do the same. He’s just a few feet away, and he doesn’t know that I fall asleep thinking about him.