Downpour: Chapter 13

“

re you sure I can’t do anything for you?” I said, looking up from my phone.

Ray and I had fallen into some sort of routine. We went to therapy three days a week. I usually ran his errands in town while he was at his appointments. And then we just hung out at the house and did… nothing.

And I was starting to go crazy.

Ray looked up from the rope he was tying. It was a pattern he seemed to be following from his phone. It was plaited in an intricate design of knots and loops.

He cracked a smile. “Do I look like I need help right now?”

I huffed. “I know. I’m just bored. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super grateful for the job. But I feel bad. I feel like I’m taking advantage of you. I’m not actually doing anything.”

“You’re keeping my family from dropping in unannounced four times a day.”

“I know. But should I be cleaning or something?”

“The house is clean.”

“Do you want me to cook something? A snack or a treat?”

“No,” Ray said quickly. “I need to make sure my homeowners insurance is paid up before you go back in the kitchen.”

I flopped on the couch. “Can I ask a kind of intrusive question?”

He lifted an eyebrow. “Has a ‘no’ ever stopped you before?”

“I’m just curious.”

Ray sighed and dropped the rope. “Go on.”

“How do you pay for all this? I mean—your house, all the physical therapy. I’m sure you have crazy medical bills.”

Ray shrugged. “We didn’t grow up having a lot. Cattle and four boys are expensive. My folks taught me how to stretch a dollar. When I wasn’t traveling the rodeo circuit, I worked for a ranch in Colorado. I lived on my paycheck from the ranch and invested all my winnings, sponsor checks, and endorsements.”

“So, you did have a backup plan.”

“No,” Ray said as he went back to following the pattern on his phone. His left hand looked more steady today, and he wasn’t having trouble pinching the rope with his thumb and index finger like he had been. “A backup plan is what you’ll do when you fail. Not when you live a different life. I have a nest egg. Not a backup plan.”

“Sorry for asking,” I said quietly.

“Go on a walk or something if you’re going stir-crazy.”

That did sound tempting… “Are you sure?”

“Don’t wear flip-flops.”

“I won’t be gone long. Maybe half an hour?”

Ray tipped his head toward the door. “If I promise not to get out of my recliner until you get back, will you just go?”

I hopped off the couch. “Pinky swear?”

Ray huffed. “Are you twelve?”

I stuck my pinky out at him until he relented and offered his. Sparks danced up my arm when our hands touched. Our fingers curled together. We paused for a moment, frozen in time.

His thumb brushed my wrist, and his grip on my finger tightened.

“I won’t be long,” I rasped.

Ray let go, and dammit—I didn’t want him to.

He said nothing as I rummaged around in my room to get socks and sneakers, then slipped out the door.

The sun was scorching. Waves of heat radiated off the horizon. Maybe this was a bad idea. Air conditioning was great. Why would anyone want to be out here?

But Ray was right. I was going stir crazy.

I started toward the front of the property, where all the barns were. I’d say hello to the ladies in the stables, dole out a few treats, and walk to the front gate and back.

But that was the only part of the property I had seen…

I turned on my heels and went the opposite direction. I vaguely remembered someone saying something about the lodge and restaurant being built out this way. It would be cool to see the progress.

Dry grass crunched under my sneakers as I traipsed through the pasture. The sheds and warehouses grew to specks in the distance.

The fresh air—hot as it was—felt good on my shoulders. I picked up my pace to a jog and let the burn in my lungs fight out the intrusive thoughts about Ray.

I had dreams of him. Dreams of those tattooed arms and his chest. Every night, I fell asleep to the delusion that I was back on the couch with my head in his lap. I fantasized about his fingers combing through my hair and gliding over my shoulder.

The cuts and bruises from Mr. Wilson’s outburst had healed, but the memory of Ray cradling my chin in his hand hadn’t gone anywhere.

He was so gentle when he wanted to be, but there were moments where he scared me. He was like the Beast, angry and hurt. I knew it was in his nature to be soft, but the circumstances had made it hard for him.

I stumbled over a rock, but caught myself. Where was the construction site? Surely I was getting close.

I looked at my phone. No service, but I had only been walking for about fifteen minutes. I’d go a little further and then turn around.

Thoughts of Ray’s hand tangled with mine when we ate dinner at his parents’ house floated through my mind. His hands were calloused from using his wheelchair, but they felt so strong. So safe. I didn’t want to let go.

I stumbled over another rock, and my vision swam. Seriously? Where was that construction site? I turned around and tried to catch my bearings, but it was nothing but dirt, grass, and low shrubbery as far as the eye could see.

Had I been jogging in a straight line or did I make a turn somewhere? The sun hung straight above my head, so there was no way of knowing which way it had risen or would set.

My heart raced, and I looked at my phone. Of course, the battery had died.

Okay. Don’t panic. Just turn around and go back.

I pivoted and kept walking. My mouth felt as dry as the dust that clouded up from the ground with each step.

I passed a grove of bushes that I didn’t recognize, but maybe I just hadn’t been paying attention the first time. I tended to zone out.

My head felt light as I tried to make my way back. I needed to stop and breathe for a minute. I had been going for a while, and it was awfully hot.

I braced my hands on my knees and tried to suck in a breath, but it was threadbare and short.

Oh my God, I was going to die out here.

They were going to find nothing but a dusty skeleton covered in sun-baked clothes. My body would be picked apart by buzzards.

I didn’t want to become bird food!

Okay, now I was panicking.

The waves of heat lifted from the ground, blurring my vision. I stumbled as I started back in the direction I thought I came. I waited for buildings and barns to pop up out of the earth, but there was nothing. Just grass for miles and miles.

My blood pounded in my ears, and the earth swirled. Was I hallucinating, or was there a horse in front of me?

“What the hell are you doing out here?”

I blinked at the man’s voice. “W-Where am I?”

He swore and jumped down from the horse. “Sit.”

That wasn’t hard to do. I dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

He reached into a saddlebag and pulled out a metal water bottle. “Drink this.”

“Are you a serial killer? Are you going to poison me?”

“No, but I might kill my brother after he tells me why he let you out this way.”

The water was ice-cold. I could feel it running down my throat. I blinked and peered under the man’s cowboy hat. “CJ?”

“Who else did you think it was?”

I looked up at the midnight black mare who was glaring at me. “I dunno.”

His hand pressed against my cheek. “Jesus—you’re three seconds from heatstroke.”

“Where am I?” I said between sips. “I was just going on a walk to see the construction site.”

“Wrong direction and you went way too far. You’re lucky as hell I was coming up this way. It’s a hundred degrees.”

“Yeah,” I groaned as I drained the rest of his water. “I’m starting to feel it.”

“You gonna pass out if you stand up?” CJ asked.

“Only one way to find out.” I closed up the bottle and took his hand. The world spun, but only a little.

“Come on.” CJ put a hand on my back and led me over to the horse. “Don’t do that,” he said when I reached out to touch Anarchy. “Have you ridden before?”

“When I was a kid at a birthday party. Does that count?”

“It does today. Climb up.”

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to touch her.”

“She can’t bite you if you’re on her back.”

“No, but she can throw me off.”

“Not if I’m on there with you. Now get up on the saddle before you get deep-fried by the sun.”

Anarchy let her displeasure be known by huffing in annoyance when I put my sneaker in the stirrup. I did a half-decent job at heaving myself up with what little energy I had left.

“Saddle’s only made for one, so I’m going to sit behind it,” CJ said as he threw his leg over and settled on Anny’s back. “Hold on.”

He reached around me and grabbed the reins.

“You know Ray’s gonna chew your ass out about this, right?”

The thought of Ray anywhere near my ass made my spine turn electric.

“He’s the one who told me to go on a walk.”

CJ let a wry laugh slip. “Yeah, and he’s the one who called me when you didn’t come back after two hours and no one had seen you.”

“Two hours?” I thought I had only been gone for the thirty minutes I told Ray. “I’m so getting fired for this,” I grumbled.

“You’re gonna get yelled at, but you’re not getting fired. He likes you too much.”

“He doesn’t like me. He tolerates me.”

“For Ray, that’s the same thing.”

Anny picked up her pace and delivered us back to Ray’s house. He was sitting on the deck, scowling as CJ helped me down and marched me to my execution.

“Stay on the paths next time,” CJ said before tipping his chin at Ray. “Mind if I use your tap to refill my water?”

Ray cocked his head toward the sliding door, and CJ took that as a yes.

Ray didn’t say a word to me as I loped up the steps.

CJ passed me on his way back out. “Make sure you drink a lot. You’re gonna be sunburnt. Don’t forget what I said about staying on the paths.”

“Thanks. I will,” I said softly.

Silence hung between Ray and me as CJ rode away. “I’m sorry,” I whispered as I stood in front of him like a kid getting scolded. “I went too far and I was trying to find my way back, but I didn’t have service and then my phone died, and I⁠—”

“I was worried.” His stubbled jaw flexed with tension.

“CJ said you called him.”

“I called everyone.”

Guilt gnawed at me. “I’m sorry.”

Ray closed his eyes and scrubbed his hands down his face. Hurt was painted across his sharp features. “You’ve gotta be fucking careful out there. I can’t come out and get you if you get hurt or pass out.”

“I won’t let it happen again. Promise.”

Ray tipped his head toward the house. “Get inside.”

I took my scolding and headed into the blissfully cool house.

“Sit on the couch,” Ray ordered as he wheeled himself in after me and closed the sliding door.

Oddly specific, but okay.

I toed off my sneakers, sat on the couch, and waited. Ray made his way around the house, collecting things before coming back to the couch.

“Drink that,” he said as he pushed a red sports drink into my hand. He tossed a bottle of lotion onto the couch, then eased out of his wheelchair to sit beside me. “Take your shirt off.”

Hello, fantasy.

I set the drink on the coffee table and pulled my tank top off. I hissed as the straps scratched my burned skin.

Fantasy destroyed.

“Sit still and drink your drink,” he said as he worked at the flip cap of the lotion.

I squealed when something cold touched my back.

“I told you to sit still,” he snapped.

I turned to look over my shoulder at him. “You didn’t warn me!”

Ray leaned forward, bringing our faces close. “I’m putting lotion on your back before you turn into a potato chip. Is that warning good enough?”

My eyes lowered to his mouth. “Uh-huh.”

“Then sit still and do as you’re told.”

I closed my eyes as he worked the lotion over my shoulders and back, carefully sliding his hands under my bra straps.

I sucked in a breath when his fingers spanned my collarbone, working down toward my breasts. I was totally cool with it if he wanted to keep going, but he quickly moved back to my arms.

He worked more lotion around my lower back, even though it wasn’t burned. His hands spanned my waist, trailing up, up, up until they were grazing the sides of my breasts.

I sucked in a sharp breath and cursed the fact that I was still wearing a bra.

I could feel the heat from his chest radiating against my back. I wanted to fall into him. To have those arms wrapped around me. To know what it felt like for him to work those calluses over my breasts.

The moment was shattered when he let go and squeezed more lotion into his palm.

I glanced at the bottle. “That’s for tattoo aftercare.”

“It works like magic on sunburns too.”

“I like your tattoos.”

His hands stalled on my biceps. “I, uh… I got ‘em for the girls.”

I peered over my shoulder. “For Bree and Gracie?”

Ray nodded. His touch shifted from simply smearing my skin with lotion to a massage. “I had a few when they were real little. After their mom died, I’d watch the girls for Christian and they’d color my tattoos in with markers. So, I kept getting tattoos. It was our thing. When…” He sighed. “When I’d compete in Houston or Dallas, I’d always come out here for a night or two, and they’d color my tattoos in for good luck.”

“You really love them, don’t you?”

His hands squeezed my shoulders. “Yeah. They were my girls as much as they were Christian’s.”

“Why won’t you talk to them or let them see you?”

Ray’s grip tightened. “Because I’m not their hero anymore.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Brooke—”

I turned on the couch and curled up beside him. “I don’t think you were their hero because you were a rodeo star. You were their hero because you were there for them when they needed you. So, yeah. You’re not their hero right now because you won’t let them see you. You chose that. It has nothing to do with being able to walk or not.”

I expected the anger to come, but it didn’t. Ray’s face never changed. “You know, you’re the only one who can get away with saying that to me right now.”

“Then I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Don’t push your luck, Sunnyside. I’ll fire you.”

I laughed. “I’m starting to think you just talk a big game about firing me.” I let my hair down. “I think you like me.”

“I don’t hate you.” But his dark eyes were twinkling like a starry sky. “But you are a walking disaster and a big pain in my ass.”

“This is the best job ever. Even if my boss is a jerk sometimes.”

Ray lifted an eyebrow and twisted one of my curls around his finger. “Yeah?”

I closed my eyes. “I love being out on the ranch. Your house is awesome. It’s so quiet out here. Sitting by the pond is my favorite. That big tree out there reminds me of one I had in my yard growing up. I had a tire swing and I would spend hours out there pretending I could fly.”

“Are you close with your family?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I don’t have much family left. My parents passed away when I was about Gracie’s age. They died in a house fire. I was at a sleepover,” I said calmly, the same way I did every time I had to regurgitate the statement. Sadness lived inside of me. It always would. But it didn’t control me. “I lived with my Grandma after that, but she passed away a few years ago. I have some extended family that lives in Missouri, but I’ve never met them.”

People always got weird when I talked about my family, but Ray didn’t. In fact, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he passed me a new plastic bag of Sweet Tarts with the pink and blue ones sorted out just for me.

“Wanna watch a movie?”

I tossed my tank top onto the coffee table and grabbed the remote. “You can pick. I’ll probably fall asleep halfway through. I think the sun sapped all my energy.”

He picked up a pillow and dropped it on his lap. “Come on.”

I curled up beside him and laid my head on the pillow as he flipped through the channels. When he landed on a heist flick, he set the remote down. Gentle fingers brushed my curls away from my face and combed through my hair.

“Sorry,” I said with a yawn. “My hair’s probably sweaty.”

“I don’t mind,” he said gently.

And I didn’t either.