Chapter 68: Aquarius

"You've been so helpful, Runner Five," Moonchild says as the tones ring into my ears. I've grown so used to that sound over the past two weeks. I love it. I love hearing her praise me. It just makes me so happy.

"It is okay if I call you Five, isn't it?" She asks. "With my process, it's usually best to use someone's real name, but that seems to be the name you've bonded with on like, a spiritual level. It's a real drag you couldn't bring me the zombie repelling device when you left Abel. That girl Jody really got under our feet, huh? Ripping your backpack and snatching it away like that. But I know you'll bring it to me one day. I know you will."

"I will. I promise," I say, my blood humming, the words tasting like honey on my lips because I know they'll make her happy. They make me happy.

"Yes, I know. Isabel played her part. New Canton has taken her prisoner; We'll try to get her out. She's done good work. Never would have been able to complete the mind control process on you without that hypnotism she did. But we have some important business to deal with first."

I nod, standing up shakily in my small boat. It was hard to remain undetectable with Comansys being so much more secure now, but I found a way. I remembered the blind spots, the places the guards wouldn't search as thoroughly, the places in which they got lazy. And that's how I snuck in-that's how I am sneaking in.

I climb up the ladder onto the ship, every inch of my body buzzing in best way possible. I hear Moonchild chuckle to herself.

"I was just going to tell you to climb that ladder onto that ship. That's what's great about us, Five. I feel like we just get each other. We're karmically linked. The hand of fate, the circle of time, leading you back to the same place, but this time for the right reason."

Yes. The right reason. I'm doing the right thing. Everyone else is just too blind to see it. That's why I have to do this.

"You broke into this ship, the Laetitia Greenwald, before. And now you're doing it again." She pauses when I reach the deck. "Last time, you were here to rescue Maxine and Caleb, but now you know better."

"Yes. Now we can save everyone."

"Yes... I'm so glad you told me about their serum. We're going to take it away, so no one ever has to be cut off from my love again." She gasps softly, and I see why. There's a guard coming-no, two. I quickly dart under the awning. I can't be seen, not now. I have to do this. It's the only way I can fix everything.

"It's okay. I've got you on satellite cameras. You're safe," She says as the guards pass by, stopping for only a second. "You'll always be safe with me."

"Did you see that?" One guard asks.

"All I saw was a seagull takin' a dump. Watch out, it's going to do it again."

I keep quiet, like I always do. My body hums in pleasure, but I don't move, because she doesn't want me to, not just yet.

"Okay, Five, you know where the first cover is."

I nod, eyes narrowing in determination at the tarpaulin over the lifeboat. I watch as the guards keep moving, and I tense. I hear the tones ring in my head, and I can hear them telling me to run. I hear them singing the same tune as Moonchild's voice-her beautiful voice.

"Time to run."

And I do. I run as fast as I can, keeping my steps quiet and my breathing steady. I have to do this. I have to succeed for her.

It's not as easy as before to stay unseen. There are more guards, more lookouts. And with the fact that people will recognize me if they see my face makes this even more stressful on my part.

But the stress is a dull throb compared to the raging happiness pumping through me with every heartbeat. The air tastes like honey and the buzzing in my ears sound almost like a soft melody. It's just so... amazing.

Everyone needs to know what this feels like.

I reach the awning. I crouch down low for a few minutes, make sure I stay hidden in the shadows. It's cold and dark, but I don't mind. Nothing really bothers me anymore. I'm just so happy. Why would anything bother me when I feel like this all the time?

I make sure to keep my balance as I rise to full standing again. The decks are slippery and wet from the snow, but as long as I keep my steps light, I should remain unheard, and therefore unseen.

"It's all copacetic, Five," Moonchild says softly as a couple more guards walk by. "You'll have a window in five, four, three, two, one."

I dart off, my dark brown hair flying back and I run as fast as I can to get away from the ever searching guards.

"You run like the wind, man. Like the wind. You're the special one, you know. When I went on my vision quest in the Amazon, my spirit animal told me that when I met a girl who traveled under the sign of five, I'd know she'd be the one to help me finish my life's work. I never knew who that was before now, but now I know it's you."

I smile.

"I've got to tell you, I kinda feel weirdly responsible for this whole zombie thing. I mean, I know the fates control us; I know whatever happens happens for a reason, but I keep thinking if I hadn't let one of my mind control subjects get involved in Van Ark's treatments...

"I knew Arthur Gurken had signed up for that research. I just... wanted to see what would happen! He was Patient Zero. First 21st century zombie. My CeretinPlus combined with Van Ark's cell regeneration treatments... in the pharmaceutical business, they call is a serious adverse event. Everything happens for a reason. It can't be as bad as it-"

She's cut off by a loud scream. One of pain.

It's Albert.

"Oh, that is not good, man. There are bad vibes on this ship. I didn't even know there was a way to break my control once it's been established, but Albert's always been clever. All the people working for me at Comansys had such great minds.

"I cried when they left me, and the whole London office gone too. Your New Canton Runner Five saw what happened there. One of them turned into a brain melted zombie, and then bit someone else and then," She sighs, "they're all gone. I have to believe it's for a reason, and I think I know what it is. This happened so I could finish my work!

"These zombies-they're a sign! You know what's wrong with them? Desire. Flesh hunger. Desire leads to suffering. But if I take that away from everyone, humanity will have peace. It's our churning brains that hurt us."

I nod. She's right. She's so right. She's-

She's wrong.

I blink. She's right. I loved Wesley and he died. I loved Willis and he died. I wanted to protect my family from Moonchild and I was wrong to try to keep them from this-this amazing feeling of happiness-

This is wrong.

This is wrong.

This is wrong.

I shake my head. What is this is my head? I'm happy. How can it be wrong if it feels so good?

You know this isn't right.

"We need to get that serum, Five, for the good of humanity," Moonchild says, cutting off the voices in my head-my voice, to be exact. "We're going to make everyone happy. I know what I'll have to sacrifice. It'll take everything from me-everything! But I'm ready to sacrifice myself for this project."

I blink, not wanting to speak, yet still wanting to ask what she means by that.

"You were so right to suggest this route when we made the plan. There's a gap in the patrol routes right now. Your path to the science vessel is clear. Now run!"

I don't hesitate. My legs just go. I don't think I could have stopped them if I wanted to... but I don't want to. I want to do what she says. I want to make her happy. I want this, to be here on this ship, to take those plants away from Comansys. That's what I want.

This is wrong.

I shake my head, refusing to listen to that part of me. It's not wrong. It was never wrong. I was wrong before in trying to stop her, but not now. Now I'm right. Now my eyes have been opened to the truth, to what I was too blind by my desires and misery to see before.

And now I'm going to make sure everyone else will be able to see the truth too.

I pass onto the science vessel, constantly looking around to make sure the coast is clear. It is. Even with what happened before, even with the extra guards and patrol, there are still blind spots-there are still guards who slack in doing their job.

"Just stop there for a moment, Five," She says, and I obey instantly. "See that mural on the side of the cabin?"

I look over at said cabin, and my head tilts to the side. "Shadow puppets," I say. My voice has a sing-song tone to it. It's airy, carefree almost.

"Yes. Albert must've painted it. He loved those things, man. He spent two weeks in a monastery in the East Great Mountain. Had like, a spiritual awakening, but he wouldn't call it that. He was never in touch with his own soul." She sighs wistfully. "Those early days, straight out on uni, working with Albert and Diana, pushing the boundaries of science to places no one had ever imagined!

"I'd been such a lonely child, Five... When old John Abbot died, he left Comansys to its staff. Albert was the legal mind-sharp as a razor and just as dangerous. I was head of research and design, and Diana did all our client facing work.

"Lovely Diana. Came across as hard, but she had the heart of a romantic." Moonchild pauses. "The broken heart of a romantic. It was so sad. A manipulative little playboy called Christian in marketing-ten of him weren't worth one of her, but she fell for him so hard. She found out about the research I was doing. She asked me to change how Christian felt about her, to make him love her. How could I say no? She was my friend. I just wanted to make her happy..."

I blink. Something about this sounds familiar... as if I've heard it before.

"It didn't though," Moonchild continues. "He mooned over her, but she said it felt false. That wasn't what she wanted. She couldn't bear it! Just wanted to end it all!"

Suddenly it clicks. I remember this. It was in writing-a diary. Nadia and I found it while we were in those Comansys labs near Veronica's treetop base. That diary... it was Diana's. She was writing about this Christian guy and how he loved her.

How long ago that feels. How long ago that was.

"And she begged me... I changed how she felt instead. I made her stop wanting love, stop wanting to be in love. I've never really seen the point of that kind of love anyway. Why stick to one person when you can open your mind and live the whole world?"

I nod, although I'm not sure if I agree. I'm happy, so happy to just hear her speak, but I still love Sam. Why didn't she take that away from me?

Because I'm not like the others. She wants to keep me as close to my original self as possible.

Yes, that's right. She said so in the talk we had last night. She still wants me to be me. She still wants me to care about my children and Sam and Caleb. She wants me to want them to know what this feels like, how amazing it is to be free of sadness and guilt!

"It really made me think, ya know? About how suffering is really about wanting the wrong things. She felt so much better after I changed what she wanted. She didn't even notice I'd slipped a few extra instructions into her brain." Moonchild giggles. "She was just... so happy. And I liked that she was the center of attention. I never needed the credit for my work. It's the work itself that really matters. I always told Albert that when he wanted to put my picture in the brochures. I didn't want any of that publicity.

"In the end, even he believed that Diana was the real driver, and that I was just a techie. Ah, and look. There he is now."

I turn, seeing Albert outside the arboretum. He hasn't seen me. He looks worse than before. His entire arm is gone-the one that has been rotting away when we first met him. He looks so drained, so sad.

I'm happy, but seeing him like that almost makes me feel a twinge of pity.

"Can we try to reestablish the-" I start.

"You're going to have to deal with him, I'm afraid."

I straighten out. She's right. We can't risk repeating ourselves.

So I follow him inside the arboretum where they keep the plants, keeping quiet as my hand inches towards the gun that's strapped to my hip.

I have to do this. I have to.

I don't want to do this. This is wrong.

I want to do this, because Moonchild wants me to do this. It must be right if she wants this to happen. It must be right because I feel so amazing, so happy.

"Those blue lights are so beautiful, man! It's where they grow the plants. So clever of them; They're so hard to grow. They store their serum over there. But first, there's Albert to take care of. You got that gun I gave you? Cool. He's just on the other side of those barrels. Stay low. I don't want the cameras to spot you." Suddenly she gasps. "Oh, Gia's smiling on me. He's turned around and is walking towards you. Go!"

I stand up, stepping out of my hiding place, right in front of the older man, not saying a single word. Albert gasps softly, flinching back in sudden surprise.

"Runner Five, what on earth are you doing here?" He asks, then his eyes go wide as they trail down to the gun in my hand. "Why are you pointing that gun at me?"

I don't respond, and I see the look of confusion in his eyes change to one of horror and pity, and his mouth drops open.

"Oh, God. You're grinning like an idiot. Five... she's got you. I know she has. Oh, Five, I'm so sorry."

I tip my head to the side in silent question. Why is he sorry? I feel amazing. Why does he pity me for feeling this way?

Because it's not me. I don't want to kill him.

Yes, I do.

No, I don't.

"Someone! Cynthia is nearby! Sound the alarms!" He shouts, suddenly, his eyes still glued to the gun in my hand.

"Shoot him, Five. Do it now," She says, tones sounding off in my ears.

I don't want to kill him.

But this feels so amazing!

I don't want to kill him.

I do.

I don't.

Next thing I know I'm hitting him with my pistol. I hit him over and over and over again. He cries out in pain, but I don't stop. I can't.

"I said shoot him, Five! Don't just hit him!"

I stop when I hear a sudden alarm go off, and I step back, leaving Albert unconscious and bleeding. His blood is all over my hands, but I don't even notice.

"What's happening?" I yelp, and I feel my heart rate pick up. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. This wasn't a part of the plan.

"Nothing's gone wrong," Moonchild says calmly, the tones mixing with her voice like a soft song. "You are safe. Listen to my voice. Any other urges you have are irrelevant. Now, grab some of that serum, and run!"

•

"It's okay. You're going to get off this ship. I won't let them kill you. Cross that gangplank now."

I do as she commands, heart racing, little bits of fear and anxiety slipping through the cracks of happiness, working their way into my thoughts.

This is wrong.

This is wrong.

This is wrong.

The tones block them out, and I keep pushing. I keep running, even as I hear shouts from those behind me. I struggle to stay upright on the icy deck. The smile on my face remains, but there's something else there inside me-panic. Chaos is in the air, in my lungs, in my blood.

"I guess letting them cut you off from love would be worse than killing you though. You should've seen them, man. All I had to do was put a little bit of CeretinPlus into the main water tank at Comansys and... it was just like... that was how people are supposed to be, you know? Happy, at peace, working hard-all of them wanting the same thing."

Yes. That's how we should be. That's how we need to be. Everyone needs to know what this feels like-the happiness of wanting the right things, having the right desires.

"We're so divided from each other, Five, but we'll fix that. You and me." She pauses for a moment as I turn the corner, just in time to hear a bullet fire off into the air.

Oh, God. They're shooting at me.

Moonchild either doesn't notice or doesn't care, because she says nothing on it. "I mean, it's not that I think my ideas are the best in the world, but if we can just all want the same thing, if we can just work together... that's happiness."

More bullets fly through the air, and my shoulders tense as I push my legs to go faster.

"You're going to be okay," She says comfortingly, as if she knows I'm starting to get worried. Of course she knows. She always knows when I'm not completely happy. And when I'm not completely happy, she makes me completely happy. "You might have to use that gun for real this time though."

I grab my gun from my hip, turning as best as I can to see the people running behind me, trying to shoot me. I raise the gun and fire. One person falls after a bullet hits his leg, blood spilling onto the icy deck. Another gets hit in her calf, and her hand goes to cover the wound as she falls, her dark skin getting covered in crimson liquid.

"Shooting to wound, I see." There's amusement in her voice, but I nod. These people are just confused. They just don't see things clearly. They don't deserve to die simply because they don't understand. "You really do know your own mind, don't you? Really, that's the thing. That's the whole point. I'm not trying to change people. I just want to change what they want. If only we all just wanted the right things.

"Can you imagine it, Five? If nobody wanted to hurt anyone or to hurt themselves, to smoke or-or drink or take heroin, if no one desperately wanted things they couldn't have-well, if everyone wanted the right things, everybody works be as happy as you are right now! That's peace on earth."

Yes, peace. That word rings in my mind as I pull the trigger of my gun again, hitting one man in his thigh. I can only hope I didn't nick an artery.

This isn't peace.

"I haven't gotten it quite right yet. You saw my earliest trials. I got all the Comansys people working in unison, but that needed constant monitoring, constant micro-changes in the tone signals. Without that, they just plod, plod, plod-all marching in step. That's not what I wanted at all.

"But you, Five-you're my masterpiece. You're still the same person you always were, making the same kind of decisions you've always made." There's a smile in her voice. "You hate to kill, and I love that about you, man. Now I've got you as my model. Now I can study the exact biochemical processes you've got going on."

"I thought you were already doing that," I pant, turning back slightly to make sure I'm not losing ground between me and the Comansys people. I'm not, fortunately.

"I am... but we both know what the real objective is for those talks we have each night. But, now with you, I can finally do for everyone else what I've already done for you. Okay?"

"Okay," I reply instantly.

"Good. Just one more job for us to do, and then you can get out of there. Hurry. They're going to kill you if they catch you."

With that thought echoing in my mind I keep pushing. I keep running, the serum in my backpack, and Moonchild leading me down the metal corridors. My lungs burn, sweat pours down my face, but I don't care. I'm too happy to care. I just keep going and going, each turn giving me a few more seconds to lose the people chasing me.

They are just confused. They don't realize just how good this is. They are blinded by what they think is good and bad. That serum is keeping them from knowing, feeling the truth.

I'm going to make them know how amazing the truth feels like once again.

"Quickly, Five, through that metal door. It leads to the control center of the flotilla."

I push open the door, just about to step inside, when I hear a familiar voice.

"Five, is that you?"

I spin around, my eyes wide. "Caleb? What are you doing here?"

The redhead stares at me in confusion. "I'm here to secure the doors. Moonchild's found a way to infiltrate the ship. What are you doing here?"

"Five, we don't have time for this. Kill him."

My hands start shaking. I want to. I want to do it so badly, because she's told me to.

"I-I-I came here to help stop her. We-we-Abel knew in advance that she was coming."

"Shoot him, Five!" The tones ring in my ears, and I dig my fingernails into my palms. God, I want to. I want to kill him right now.

No, I don't! He's my best friend! I don't want to do this.

Oh, but I do.

"No, Abel would've contacted us. They would've warned us..." His voice trails off as his eyes roam down to the blood in my hand, and a look of horror and heartbreak spreads across his face. "No. Not you. Five, please... not you."

"Shoot him, Five!"

I grab my gun and shoot him in the leg. He collapsed instantly, his body crumpling to the floor like a rag doll as a cry of pain leaves his lips. My vision becomes blurry, and I keep smiling in joy even as I realize I'm crying.

"I'm sorry."

He looks up, tears in his eyes from both physical and emotional pain. I can see the agony in his eyes at seeing me like this, but I can't bring myself to care. I'm too happy to care.

I head inside the control center, ignoring Caleb's screams and pleas for me to stop this, that this isn't me, that I'm not thinking straight.

My hands shake as I close the door and lock it.

"Five! Five! Open the door! Five, please! Open the damn door! Five!" He yells, but I ignore him. I start to turn around, turn away, but then...

Then he yells my name.

I freeze, my blood suddenly going cold. How does he...

My Bible. My old Bible. It got destroyed in Abel, but Willis said he and someone else found the front cover. It had my name written on the back. I never figured out who... I should've known. It was Caleb.

Open the door. Help him. I want to help him.

My hand reaches out to unlock the door, but tones flood my mind, stopping me short as the beautiful symphony surrounds me.

"Ignore him. We can't open that door. Besides, he won't be in pain much longer," Moonchild says, and my arms fall limp as she tells me to go over to the control panel, and I obey. "It's all so sterile here-banks of machines, metal everywhere! I prefer sailing with the wind, just you and nature.

"My dad used to take me sailing. It wasn't easy for him, I was an... unusual kid-reading Shakespeare by the time I was three, tackling wave equations by the time I was five, but Dad encouraged me! He was my guru, you know? He helped me become the person I am today, and when we needed a break, he'd take me fishing. Just me and him and this little dinghy, drifting on the wind." She sighs, and I can still hear Caleb screaming from the other side of the door.

"Five, open the door! Five! Five, open this door right now! Five, please!" He cries, saying my real name a few more times. Moonchild's voice blocks out his, though.

"That was real happiness," She continues. "I forgot what it felt like for a long time. I became part of the machine, clicking and buzzing along without any joy, any soul. And after my dad died... I didn't want to go on anymore. I just wanted to sleep. But Gia saved me. I was in an academic conference in Rio when I felt the call. It was like... the Amazon, the trees themselves were calling out to me. I got on a plane, and I flew out to the center of it all.

"I stood in the center of that green pulse, and I took Gia's sacred plant, ayahuasca. Man, what a trip. It blew all the doorways in my mind wide open. That was when I knew what I had to do, that I had to give everyone else the same joy that I'd found!

"It's been a long time, Five. A long, hard time, but thanks to you, I'm finally here." More tones start to ring into my ears. "Okay, here are the code words to shut down the generators onboard. We don't want them following you. Type in the following code: 3358, and then the word 'berries'."

I quickly type in the code and word as told.

"Then you just need to press enter."

As soon as I do, a red light flashes and an alarm rings out. I tense.

"That's good. That porthole looks wide enough to squeeze through, Five. I didn't quite tell you the whole truth, I'm afraid."

"What do you mean?" I ask, still smiling.

"There's no time to explain. But you'd better get out of that porthole and start swimming, because if you're still here in like... four minutes, thirty-seven seconds-well, you won't be here anymore."

•

"That's great, Five! You're far enough away now," Moonchild cheers as I keep swimming, slowing down to turn and look back at the ships. "Looks like a few of my old friends have made it onto some lifeboats, but not many. If only they'd listened to me like you did, but their pain is over. Any second now."

I open my mouth to ask what she means by that, but I never get the chance.

Boom!

The rush of water pushes me back, almost taking me under as all the ships in the flotilla explode all in unison.

My heart stops in my chest.

"Caleb!"

Pain shoots through the happiness, and I scream in horror at what just happened-what I just did.

"Caleb! No!"

"That... I'm sorry, Five. I'm sorry," Moonchild says tearfully as I let out a wail of agony, suddenly not able to keep myself above the water. I killed him.

I killed Caleb.

But then the tones start to sing in my ears, and the pain starts to fade away as quick as it came. I find myself smiling again, and I'm able to keep myself afloat, even as Moonchild's voice shakes with emotion.

"It's just... that's so heavy. Those guys were my friends, and then they hated me so much that we had to blow up all their ships. That's such a waste. Such a stupid waste, man!" She clears her throat, regaining her composure. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you what you were doing there before you did it; It was just too much to talk about. I'm sorry you had to kill your friend, and my friends. But we've done the right thing."

Yes. This was the right thing. It had to be done.

I killed Caleb.

"Imagine if they'd found a way to stop us. And they might have done it too; They're clever. I know I'm asking a lot from you, but I'm also willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. We're doing this for the good of humanity. We're such a great team, Five... Just swim to shore, dry off, and then... then it's time for you to pay a visit to some friends."

A/N: Hey, everyone! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Please be sure to leave a vote and comment! Thank you and have a blessed day!