Chapter 64: Human

"So, it never was Diana. It was..." Caleb pauses for a second, "what do you call her again?"

"Her name in Cynthia, but she calls herself Moonchild," I reply, shifting in Sam's swivel chair as Sam silently stands off to the side, leaning against the wall in a way that I would find very, very appealing if not for the situation at hand.

"Yeah... and she knows where we are? She knows where Comansys is?"

"No. But she does know you're on a ship, because we told her." I run my hand through my freshly washed hair. "I can't believe we didn't see it."

"It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault but hers. Moonchild's the one who's doing this. But maybe if we can find a way to assemble that machine here on the ship, we can become cured." Caleb pauses. "Then I can come home."

I smile softly at the thought. "Yeah, that'd be nice. We all miss you."

"I miss you guys too. How's it been at Abel, besides the whole Moonchild thing?"

I shrug, even though he can't see it. "Pretty well, I guess. Milo's still training his heart out, Penelope's become a social butterfly and me-well, I run."

It's almost sad how I describe things. But it's true. Running is all I do, and I've barely spent any time with the children to really know how things have been going in school and with friends. I've been a less than great parent recently.

"Uh huh. And how's progress going?"

I blink, my eyes shifting over to Sam in confusion. He simply shrugs in reply. To be honest, I'm not sure if he's actually listening. I think he's just in here because Janine doesn't want anyone in here alone besides a few certain people, which I am not one of. Plus I could be put under mind control at any time, so I need to be watched when I'm somewhere important like the coms shack.

But yeah, Sam probably isn't listening. He hasn't said one word to Caleb since he patched us into the Comansys ship.

"Progress?" I ask.

"You know, with your boyfriend who you say isn't your boyfriend."

From the corner of my eye I see Sam raise a brow in interest, and I force out a laugh as my face heats up. "You're not talking about Phil, are you? Because it's actually the other way around."

"No, I'm not talking about Phil. That whole fake fiancé thing is stupid, anyway. You know who I'm talking about, and don't deny it, because when you were with me on those ships, you talked about him nonstop. I mean, you talked about the kids too, but that's different. Don't tell me you're still going around acting like you don't love each other."

"That's enough for today, matchmaker," I say, growing redder by the second. I can see Sam is definitely interested in what we're saying now, although he's still keeping quiet. I think he's waiting to see how this conversation is going to play out, and I can't help but frown at him for being so nosy.

Although, him being curious about what I keep secret is a hobby of his. It's how he knows so much about what I've seen and what I know.

"What?" The redhead asks. "Just because I'm not in Abel doesn't mean I can't be a good best friend."

"Yeah, well, now's not the time to talk about my non-existent love life."

"Why not? We're apparently all screwed at the moment, or at least, it seems that way. Why not look away from the fact that we're screwed and talk about the guy you want to screw?"

"Caleb!" I screech, face now burning while Sam has to cover his mouth to hold in his laughter.

"What?"

"That's... this isn't a topic that anyone cares about right now, so can we please drop it?"

"I certainly care," Sam says finally, still laughing, and I hear a slight yelp over coms.

"Oh, Sam. I... didn't realize you were in here."

Yeah. If you did, you probably would've kept your mouth shut.

"Who do you think helped connect Five to your channel?"

"I thought you, you know, left after that."

"Nope. I stayed right here." Sam casts a glance over at me, his dark eyes glittering. "I didn't know Five had her eyes on someone."

Caleb hums. "Yeah, well, that's because you're an idiot."

He flinches. "Hey."

"No offense."

"How can I not take offense to that?"

He takes a second to respond. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Full offense."

Sam frowns. "That's still not any better."

I grab at my invisible backpack strap nervously, wondering just how much Caleb is going to say. I mean, he didn't really ask me about it that much while we were on the Comansys ship, so I assumed he'd forgotten about how he liked to torment me about my feelings for Sam.

Apparently he hasn't.

Wonderful.

"Well, it's just that basically everyone who's seen these two talk for five minutes knows Five's mad crazy about him."

"Well, my mind has been on other things because of everything that's-that's happened."

"Same here," I cut in before Caleb says something to embarrass me further. "So to answer your question: no, I haven't made any quote, unquote, 'progress.'"

"Yeah, I found that out the second Sam started talking."

"What does that mean?" Sam asks, voice raising slightly. He looks at me and I simply shrug.

"It's complicated."

"That's one way to put it," Caleb grumbles. "But Five, you know you can't keep these things secret forever."

"I keep a lot of things secret, Caleb. I could take this to the grave if I wanted to." I pause before mumbling, "I already seem to have one foot in the grave anyway."

"What?"

"Nothing. Nothing," I sigh, earning a nasty glare from Sam. "This has been great and all, Caleb, but we should probably go. We can only stay on your channel for a little bit before Moonchild will be able to hack into our coms and trace the signal back to your ships."

"Oh." His tone changes instantly. "Right. Yeah. I uh... I didn't realize we'd been talking that long."

"Twenty minutes, that's all we have." I stare down at my lap. "Maybe you can call later this week, or after you wake up from cryo-freeze next month."

"Yeah. Yeah. Sounds like a plan. Uh, tell the kids I say hi."

"Of course."

"I miss you, you know. I miss everyone, but you especially."

I force a smile he can't see, but Sam sees it.

"I miss you too, Caleb."

"This is bye for now, I guess."

"Bye for now."

I press a button on the desk to cut the signal, and then I stand, sighing deeply. Sam looks at me with soft eyes, and he places his hand on my arm.

"Are you alright?"

I rub my temples and huff. "As alright as I can be. It just doesn't feel right, for him to not be here with us."

Sam nods. "Yeah. It's... different, that's for sure. Still, I didn't know you were interested in someone."

I have to restrain myself from cringing. "Yeah, well, feelings-mine especially-aren't something I enjoy talking about."

He scoffs. "You've got that right. But still, Caleb said everyone else but me has seen it. Am I really that oblivious?"

Yes.

"He was exaggerating when he said everyone knew."

He nods, then smiles. "I guess it is a good thing you care about someone. It could be what you need to stay motivated after what you saw."

This time I do cringe. I know he's talking about my death and me being mind controlled, but I haven't told him about the other things I heard-that I'm going to hurt him, or at least try to. I just haven't yet, anyway. Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach.

"Maybe," I reply.

"So, who is it?"

The way he looks at me when he asks that nearly makes me blush, but I will it away and simply smirk at him. "I'll never tell."

He groans, earning a light laugh from me. "Why not?"

"Because it's a topic that we don't need to be discussing right now. We need to be thinking about how to stop Moonchild, how to stop me..."

The air around us suddenly turns serious, and I see the light in Sam's eyes dull slightly. "You mean, how to stop Moonchild from getting you, right?"

I can't look him in the eye. "Whichever works."

"Five, we've talked about this-"

"I know we have," I say, wrapping my arms around myself, taking a step away from Sam. "But I just... This is scary for me. I know what's going to happen, but I have no idea how to stop it, or even if I can."

"We can," He insists.

"You don't know that, nor do we know what Moonchild's going to do to me, or what she'll make me do to other people... And the entire time I'm going to be feeling like I'm living the dream as I murder and destroy and-"

"Have you seen yourself doing that?" He asks. "Have you seen yourself murdering and destroying?"

"No, but I did hear a voice-your voice." I sniffle, and tears well up in my eyes as I remember the fear in his voice, fear of me. "You were begging me to not do something. You kept saying it wasn't me, but I wouldn't listen."

Sam's lips part in surprise. "What are you going to do, Five?"

"I don't know, but it's something bad. That's why I need to-"

"No," He says, eyes hardening, the look on his face actually scaring me a small bit. "I am not going to kill you."

"If you don't I might kill you."

"You might. You didn't see if you would."

"But what if I do?"

"You won't. I-I know you. You wouldn't do that."

I look down shamefully. "I've done a lot worse."

Still he shakes his head. "I'm not killing you."

"Why? I'm asking you to do this! If it comes down to you or me, I'm going to choose you every time!"

"Well, then I guess we have something in common then."

"I'm going to do terrible things, Sam. I won't be able to stop myself. Please."

I'm desperate, begging, but he doesn't falter. He still stands tall, eyes cold and hard and determined not to back down, not on this.

"We'll find a way to stop this, somehow, but I won't... I can't kill you, Five. I just-I just can't, okay?" Sam runs his hand through his hair. "These visions you have are more like nightmares. Have you always had this, you know, ability?"

I shake my head. "It wasn't until I came here that I started having the dreams and the visions and hearing voices in my head. I thought I was going crazy at first. You did too, as I first recall."

That light jab lightens the mood a little bit. "You're never gonna let me live that down, are you?"

"Nope."

He chuckles. "Yeah, I thought not. But we're going to prove them wrong. I know we will. You are strong, a-and I still... I still have hope."

I smile at that, at how good Sam is. You have to be good inside to still have hope for a brighter tomorrow.

I used to be that way. I used to be good. I used to have hope. I used to be a dreamer, instead of someone who thinks about what she sees when she closes her eyes and hopes it was just a dream and not another vision of what will come.

I was a dreamer forced into a court of nightmares.

And I'm still trying to find a way to wake up.

I only hope I can do it before it's too late.

•

It's cold outside. Not surprising. The air has its bitter bite and chill even when the sun is out, just barely covered through the gray clouds.

Now the sun is gone, hiding away as the night comes on with its stars hiding behind dark clouds, and the crescent moon just barely poking through to shine its light down on me.

I wrap my arms around myself, trying to get just a little bit warmer, but it doesn't do much. I never seem to able to get warm anymore. Still I rub my hands together and breathe onto them in hopes I might get rid of the cold for just a few moments.

It's quiet out tonight, even as I enter the dorms. Everyone's tired. I don't blame them. I'm tired as well. I'm feeling physically and emotionally drained from what we've learned and from what I know.

I nearly laugh when a memory comes to mind. It was something my dad told me when I was upset that I had to learn about diseases and illnesses in health class in fourth grade.

'All knowledge is good knowledge,' He'd said.

How wrong he was.

How wrong I was to believe him.

In my thoughts, I don't watch where I'm going, and the second I snap back to reality, I'm seconds away from crashing into Jody. Her green eyes are wide with surprise, mostly because she's been standing in her place, in clear view, and I didn't try to avoid her.

I saw her, but I didn't really see her.

"Five, are you okay?" Jody asks, the question gaining the attention of a few others who are standing around. "You looked like you were in a daze."

"Just tired," I say with a wave of my hand, hoping the lie will be enough. It's not.

"Are you sure? I mean, you nearly did run into me." I can't tell if her furrowed brows are from concern or suspicion. Either way, I don't care.

"Are you trying to imply something, Four?" I ask, trying to keep the tenseness from my voice showing. She quickly shakes her head.

"No. No, I just know that with happened a few days ago was sort of a hard blow, and you and Moonchild-"

"Me and Moonchild?" I repeat with a sneer. "There was no me and Moonchild. We weren't friends or anything closer than that."

"She didn't seem to think so," Summer pipes up, and I twist around to send her a threatening look.

"Yeah, well, she also thinks she can put people under mind control without consequences."

"She basically has. I mean, it's not like you stopped her when you figured out she was behind all this, and she destroyed the machine."

"Yes, I know. We're trying to look into a way to rebuild that machine." I wrap my arms around myself defensively, although I'm not sure why I have to be on the defensive. I wasn't friends with Moonchild. I never was.

I want to stop her just as much as everyone else.

"Do you think we'll actually be able to in time?" Jody asks, tipping her head to the side, and I raise a brow.

"In time? In time for what?"

The two women share a look, before looking back at me. They both lean in closer, and I instantly tense up. I don't like this.

"Maxine told us what you said on that mission-how you wanted to be put in the machine to become immune to the mind control because you thought Diana wanted to probably put you under mind control because of all the plans you foiled."

I look at the two, still tense. "Yes?"

"Well, you thought that because we thought Diana was in control. But Moonchild likes you, even though you've stopped her plans. And she knows you're going to keep trying to stop her..."

"You're saying you think she's going to try to get me susceptible to mind control?" I ask, playing dumb. I already know that's exactly what she's going to do, exactly what's going to happen.

"Well, you are... you," Summer says, and I know what's she silently saying. She's speaking about my strength that comes around when my adrenaline's high. Of course, Moonchild doesn't know about this, but under her control I would gladly tell her about it, and I'd hate for her to use that against the people I love.

But she most likely will. She'll most likely use every skill I have and use it against Abel, against my friends and family.

"Well, you don't have to worry about me," I say. "I'd rather die than let her take me."

"But you won't know."

"But you will," I reply, and Summer nods solemnly, while Jody's eyes go wide in shock. "If I can't stop myself, I'll need someone else to... And that's even if Moonchild finds some way to make me susceptible."

I hope that last added part is a good enough save for them not to suspect I know it will eventually happen.

Still though... How? How? That's what I keep thinking about. How will she make me susceptible now? It's not like she can slip it into our water supply like she did at Comansys, and she never did convince me to smoke any marijuana, so what exactly will she do to make me susceptible?

The things that come to mind terrify me more than I like to admit.

"Five, do you actually think she's going to find a way to get you under her mind control?" Jody asks finally, and I look up at her with tired eyes.

"I don't know. I certainly hope not, but I can't... I need to take precautions. It's the best way to ensure that I... stay myself."

And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to be careful, watchful. I'm going to do everything I can just to try to change my fate.

I have to, because I know what will happen if I don't...

Suddenly all my exhaustion and tiredness is gone, replaced with fear and worry and anxiety. I walk over to my bed and grab my Bible, clutching it like a lifeline. When's the last time I read it? When's the last time I prayed?

A part of me feels ashamed for not staying faithful, but it's hard when everything's falling apart and there don't seem to be any clear answers. That's all I want-clear answers, a way out.

Beside my Bible are a few pictures, mostly the ones of Simon and Amelia, but there's that one of Moonchild-of Cynthia-at her graduation with her dad. I pick all of the pictures up and put them in my Bible, then I leave the dorm, not caring that Jody and Summer are watching me with a curious expression.

I'm greeted by the cold again, but I ignore it as I head to the small place of worship. It's not exactly a church, since it's just a few benches, and really this is for anyone who is religious to come worship, so I'm not sure exactly what to call it. I've been here before, a few times, but not regularly. I'm a backslider.

Maybe that's why this is happening to me. Maybe God is punishing me for not being faithful.

But it's not like I'm trying to be a bad person, or that I'm not reading my Bible on purpose. I just... haven't had the time.

There's a fire going when I reach the place of worship, but no one is there. I'm guessing whoever was here before must've left without thinking to put it out. I guess it's a good thing for me though, since I'll have a little bit of warmth on this cold night.

I wipe the snow off one of the benches and take a seat, shivering at the feel of the cold stone, even with my clothes creating a barrier between it and my pale skin. I set my Bible down and stare at it, my heart heavy and the weight of Abel on my shoulders.

And even as I open it, I find myself confused and upset.

"Neither let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed of serpents.

Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer.

Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.

Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."

1 Corinthians 10:9-13

"I don't understand," I sigh, squinting at the sacred text. "God, I want to do good. I want to stop her. I'm trying to reconcile for the sins I've committed in the past. I've repented. I'm not tempted to do evil. I'm not trying to tempt you or your Son or the Holy Spirit. Why are you going to let this happen? Why are you going to let her get ahold me?"

I receive no answer, and I grit my teeth in frustration.

"Why do you show me things I cannot change? Why do you talk to me like this? Through visions and dreams and voices of the dead?" I yell. "Huh? What are you trying to tell me?"

Nothing.

"Why can't you just give an answer? Why can't you tell me what I need to know? I'm sick of these riddles and games! Why are you staying quiet when I need you the most? Is it because I haven't been reading everyday? Because I've backslidden? I'm still trying! Isn't that supposed to be enough for you?"

Just like before, I get no answer.

I grind my teeth angrily. This isn't fair! I just want to stop this from happening! Why is there no option for me? Why is there no assurance that I might be able to stop this from happening?

Why is my life the only one without options? Why is my life one straight course with no detours, no exits? Why me?

In anger I stand, still holding my Bible,  and I shake it, watching the pictures and notes and even little trinkets I kept in it fall to the ground. I set the Bible down and pick up some of the notes of verses and prayers I wrote to help me for later, and I ball them together and throw them into the blazing fire. I grab a picture of Amelia and throw it in too, watching with angry eyes is the fire consumes it in seconds.

"I just want answers!" I scream as I throw another picture of Simon and Amelia in the fire, and then a small chain that I used as a bookmark. "I just want to know if I can stop this! Stop myself! Why won't you show me that? I can't do this alone! I need you to help me! Why won't you help me?"

I grab a picture of Simon. He's smiling, and I'm guessing he just got his new scaly hand and and face, judging by the gleam in his eyes. I look at it, then fall to my knees and clutch it close to my chest as tears run down my face.

"This isn't fair. I've tried for so long to be alright with this, to be okay with what I can't control, but I'm not okay. I'm not okay with this!" I sob. "I don't want to be mind controlled. I don't want to die. I want my free will. I want to grow old. This isn't fair! This isn't fair!"

I hold the picture up to the sky, ready to throw it into the blazing heat, when suddenly a hand grabs my wrist.

I screech, thrashing against it as another hand grabs my arm.

"Five! Five, stop! It's okay. It's okay!" An unfamiliar voice says. I turn my gaze upward and see a face I don't recognize, but oddly enough, at seeing this man, I feel calm, as if I know him.

He holds onto my wrists tightly, and I slowly stop struggling.

The man's blue eyes stare at me worriedly through the darkness, and I then realize I'm no longer outside. I'm in a dorm room, one that's mostly empty.

"W-what's... what's going on?" I stammer, and the blonde man strokes my arm comfortingly.

"You were just having another nightmare, but it's alright. You're here in Abel, and everything, for the most part is alright."

"For the most part?" I repeat. "What's going on? Where's Sam?"

"He's fine. Probably playing Demons and Darkness or something. He's the one who asked me to come check on you. Thought it was a little weird that you went to bed early, but then again, you did have a hard run today, with the Last Riders after you and-"

"Why did he send you to check on me?" I ask, wondering who the hell this man is.

"Well, he didn't actually... really send me. He just casually mentioned to that he's worried about you, and me, being the amazing best friend that I am, wanted to make sure you weren't too stressed about-well, stressed about everything."

I chew on my bottom lip, debating what to say next. I'm not stupid. I know this is a vision, but if this vision-of what I can only assume is my actual future-is like the dreams I've had as Chrysalis and Sargent Ellis, and I think it is since it certainly feels like it is, then this will actually happen and I will actually say to a very confused friend who I have yet to meet. That means I have to be careful as I walk on this thin ice.

"Stressed? I'm not stressed."

He scoffs. "Come on, Five. You can tell your old buddy, Peter. I'm surprised your hair's not falling out. I mean, you're stressed that Sam's stressed, and you have Milo to worry about, and the Last Riders aren't helping, and neither are the V-type zoms, or the fact that you're actually trying to plan a wedding-"

"Wedding?" I interrupt. "Who's getting married?"

The blonde, who I now know as Peter, blinks, obviously taken back. "Who's.... What do you mean 'who's getting married?'" Suddenly his eyes go wide. "Oh... you're not... you're not you, are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're having some sort of vision or something, aren't you?"

My heart stops. "How did you-"

"You're not supposed to know about this." He shakes his head. "Not about me, not about the V-types, not about the wedding." He runs a hand through his hair. "Shit!"

"I-Peter-"

"Don't! Whatever this is, it's not you, not the present you! Just snap out of it, Five! Snap out of it now! You didn't know about this before, so you can't know about it now!"

He grabs my arms, and I flinch back, and suddenly he's gone. I'm back in the worship place, shivering and covered in snow that's started to fall. I look around, confused and afraid.

What was that? It was so weird. This guy, Peter, he knew I had visions. Only I or Sam or Caleb could have told him that. He said he was my best friend. That's not possible. Caleb's my best friend. And why was he talking about a wedding?

I blink. Was that some sort of... alternate ending for me? Where I live and become friends with this man and have to face something called a V-type zombie and plan a wedding for... someone?

I laugh joyfully, my eyes watering and snot starting run down my nose. I wrap my arms around myself as I look up at the sky. "Is this a way out?"

I don't revive an answer, but I feel it, and I laugh louder. This is hope. This is a way to live.

I was wrong.

The visions aren't unstoppable. They can't be, not with what I just saw, right? This has to mean there's a way for me to change my fate, right?

I keep laughing. I might actually have a chance. I might actually get to live.

I can't tell Sam about this. I can't give him false hope because I could be wrong, but why would God show me this if there wasn't a way for me to change my fate? I mean, I was asking for answers, demanding them, and then I see this. It has to mean something!

And it does. I know it does.

It means I might actually get to live.

A/N: Ohhhhhh! Plot twist! So, do you guys actually think Five will find a way to change her fate? Tell me in the comments. Also, sorry for the wait. School and work have been kicking my butt. I'll try to update when I can. Anyway, don't forget to vote, and thank you all for reading! Have a blessed day!