Chapter 27: Blackout

"I told you, I'm fine," I groan, glaring at the I.V. that was once connected to my arm before I convinced Veronica to take it out. "I was only out for like, three hours."

"Eight," Sam hisses. "You were out for eight hours. It's three in the morning."

"Oh." I cringe as I look out the window. Darkness stares back at me. "Why aren't you in bed?"

"Do you really think I'd be able to sleep knowing one of my runners was sick?"

I shrug. "Good point. But I'm not sick. I was just... tired."

"Tired, my arse. Veronica, do you know anything?"

"I've been running some tests, and I should get the results on her blood work in a few hours, but she appears to be fine," She answers, looking slightly puzzled. "But, I'm a scientist, not a doctor. There might be something I'm not seeing simply because I've spent most of my time in the apocalypse studying dead bodies, not live ones. Do you have someone who I might be able to talk to? Someone who might have an educated guess on what might be wrong?"

"You could ask Dr. Lobatse," Nadia suggests with a yawn, and I roll my eyes.

"It's three A.M. She's asleep right now, and there's nothing wrong with me. I don't get sick anymore. I haven't become ill since..."

My voice trails off.

"Since what, Runner Five?" Veronica asks curiously. She tips her head to the side. She'd almost look cute if her eyes weren't staring into my soul.

I squirm, my hand reaching up to grab an invisible backpack strap. I can't keep eye contact, as my eyes are staring down at the floor. Still, I can feel them watching me.

"Since... Since Van Ark gave me those treatments."

I hear Sam choke over the headset.

This is the first time I've actually brought it up. No one really has wanted to ask me about it, especially people like Sam or Janine who heard me being tortured-heard me trying not to scream in pain, heard me trying to stay strong. They never asked so I never said anything.

And there was no reason to, since they found nothing had changed within my body. Nothing they could see anyway. I mean, I still looked about the same. I still had certain vitamin and iron deficiencies like I did before, and seeing that I had no major health problems in the first place, there was no reason to think that first set of treatments actually did anything to me.

So we didn't speak about it. They didn't want to; I didn't want to. It's already bad enough that I flinch every time I see a needle. So we just didn't talk about it. They felt pity for me and for once I let them feel so.

"Ah, yes, I heard about that," Veronica mumbles, her brows furrowing together. "He only gave you one set of treatments, yes?"

I nod. "Fortunately. There's not been any drastic change like... like wounds healing rapidly or me suddenly getting the ability to punch through walls or anything... that would actually be pretty cool. I'd be like-like the Hulk or something.

"Anyway, I just... I don't get sick anymore, which is why I know nothing's wrong." I give her a sarcastic smile and a tense 'what can ya do' type shrug. "You can run as many tests as you like, but you're not gonna find anything."

Neither of them really look convinced. Veronica hums, clearly intrigued. "If you've become immune to most diseases and illnesses, would that mean you're immune to the zombie virus as well?"

I don't answer at first. "I don't know, but I'm not going to let myself get bit to find out."

The lie works well enough.

"Yeah, let's not have that happen," Sam mutters, although I can hear the curiosity in his voice.

"And even if I was, which I doubt, there's not much you could do with the information since Van Ark's treatments were risky and dangerous," I say. "Not to mention unpredictable."

"Well, if it wasn't sickness that made you faint and cough up blood, then what was it?" Nadia crosses her arms and sends me a raised brow, and I mumble a curse. I was hoping they'd forget the main topic of this conversation.

"It's uh... complicated," I murmur.

"How so?"

My eyes dart from one piece of equipment to another. Oh, God. How do I get myself out of this?

I don't answer. My mind is too busy buzzing around, trying to think of some kind of lie to help me get out of this situation. I mean, I can't exactly tell Nadia or Veronica I have visions of the past and future. They'd never believe me. They'd think I'd gone insane, and I wouldn't blame them.

I mean, when these dreams first started, I thought I was going crazy. When I told Sam, he thought I was having a mental breakdown because of what happened beforehand. Veronica is a scientist who thinks logically, and Nadia is a realist. They'd never believe me, even if I had proof.

"It just is. Sam knows what I'm talking about."

"I do?" Sam questions in confusion. "Um, I not sure I do know-"

"Sure, you do," I say, gritting my teeth. As much as I didn't want to tell him about what I've seen, I've decided it's be better if he knew then me being forced to tell Nadia and Veronica the truth, because I honestly have no lies to make up for this one. I mean, what can I say that would actually sound believable? "It's relates to the uh, you know, Chrysalis thing."

"The what?"

I sigh. "The thing I told you about, just before our people left. Yeah, it has something to with that."

"Oh. Oh," He says suddenly. "Oh, yeah... that. But I thought... I thought that only happened..."

"Yeah. Came as a real shocker to me too."

"What are you guys talking about?" Nadia asks, and we both go silent. I'm sure we share the same look, eyes wide and slightly panicked. At least, that's how I look.

"Uh... it's like Five said," Sam says awkwardly. "It's complicated."

She narrows her eyes at me, while I offer a nervous smile. "So complicated that you don't want to take the time to explain it to us?"

"Yes."

She opens her mouth to say more, but Veronica beats her to it. "Since you suddenly know what's wrong, Sam, can you tell me if she'll be able to help me with my test without fainting? I know Five would gladly tell me she can do it, but I don't trust her word on it."

"She can," He answers without hesitation, and I mentally thank him for it. "Five's done things a lot more dangerous and she's managed to stay, you know, conscious. Don't see why this is any different."

Veronica hums. "Well then, I guess it would be pointless to try to figure out if anything was wrong."

"Pointless?" Nadia chokes out. "You can't really tell me you believe them? What if something's really wrong with her?"

"Whether or not I believe them is irrelevant. It's obvious they're not going to tell either of us what the problem is, and I have much more important things to work on. If Runner Five helps on me on my test and dies, then it will be her own fault." She looks at me calmly, and blinks. "You can go now. If anything does come on your blood work... I'll tell you."

"The only thing you'll find is that I'm anaemic," I reply nonchalantly. And I leave, albeit reluctantly, since I know what's about to come as soon as I step out of the door.

"Alright, I've closed the coms link on Nadia's headset, as well as Veronica's. Now tell me what the hell is going on," Sam demands.

"I had a feeling you were going to say that," I sigh.

"Are you-are you-were you telling the truth about-about the-"

"Visions?" I let out a sigh through my nose. "Yeah. Yeah, I was. When you were telling that story, I saw it, like, I saw it all through Sargent Ellis's eyes."

"I'm sorry... what? How could you-"

"I don't know how. But I'll prove it if you don't believe me."

"I never said I didn't-"

"Before you played that broadcast of people calling for help, Ellis, Major De Santa and Janine were doing something. Do you know what?"

"If I did I would've told you," He answers.

"Exactly. They were talking about the underground labs, while they were in the underground labs. They were discussing Project Greenshoot, I think. I mean, the Major said something about Mullins, and how she thought they wouldn't be hearing from them for a long while."

"Oh, my God," He murmurs. "But why did you pass out? Why was your nose bleeding?"

"I think... I don't think my body is able to handle it while I'm awake. That's the only reason I can think of." I rub my arm, shoulders slightly tense. "When I had them while I was asleep I was perfectly fine."

"And... that time you almost threw yourself off a platform? You told Nadia you were sleepwalking."

I roll my eyes. "There's this thing I do sometimes, Sam-it's called lying. It was an awake vision. I just lied and said I was asleep. I was awake, just... afraid. I didn't see much, but I heard it, in my head-all around. It's how I know that..."

"What?" He questions softly.

That Van Ark's treatments haven't made me immune to the zombie virus.

"It's nothing."

"I don't think it is." I can hear the annoyance in his voice. "Why won't you tell me?"

"We've already had this conversation."

"Yeah, well we're about to have it again, because you're really starting to scare me, Five."

"There's no need to be afraid. This-this isn't supposed to happen for a long, long time, and-and maybe we can change it, you know? Not everything is set in stone."

Lies. All lies. God knows what's going to happen. He knows the choices we will make. He wouldn't allow me to see this if it wasn't going to happen, right? Wouldn't there be some message or something in the vision if there was a way to change it?

"We already have enough to worry about. We already have enough to think about," I continue. "We shouldn't worry about things we cannot control, or at least, things we think we cannot control."

"Stop being all-all deep and just tell me!" He begs, and my heart lurches. "Five, please."

I look down at my feet, which I can barely see because of the darkness. "You're the most stubborn person I've ever met, you know that?"

"I could say the same thing about you," He spats back. "You realize that not telling me makes me just as worried as if you did tell me, right?"

"No. Believe me when I say it's best you don't know." I wrap my arms around myself. "It'd be better if I didn't know either. But it doesn't matter right now. All that matters is helping Veronica with her test and getting into that Comansys base. You just have to trust me on this, alright?"

"I've lost count of how many times you've told me that," He sighs, voice slightly tinged with amusement. I'm guessing it's to hide his disappointment and frustration.

"Yeah, I know. I'm pretty sure I've made you want to rip your hair out a half dozen times, right?" I grin.

"More or less."

"Sorry. I'll make it up to you somehow."

"Somehow, huh?"

"Yep. Once I get back, my next mission will be to get you some curly-wurlys, and like, possibly something to do with Demons and Darkness, if I can understand that it's actually from the game."

"You'd think with all the times you've actually played you'd know just how the game works, and the characters and cards that are in it," He laughs, and I send a silent prayer of thanks that I managed to change the main topic.

"Well, seeing as I fall asleep every time you have a Demons and Darkness game night, I think it's safe to say I'm not paying that much attention to the game before I go conk out." I say, but I wince when I reach forward to open the door to my room. A small twinge of pain spikes up my right side, and I'm reminded of the wound that has yet to heal.

"What's wrong?" That worried tone has remade its appearance, and I scoff, waving my hand dismissively.

"Nothing. Nothing. Just stretched my side a little too much. I can't wait until it heals up. It's annoying as hell and could put a hinderance on my running for Veronica's trials on what she's been working on."

"Can't have that."

"We really can't," I say, entering my little room, striding over to my bed before flopping down on it. "We need to get into that Comansys base. It's been months since Caleb disappeared and this is the only real lead we have."

Sam sighs heavily. "You miss him, don't you?"

"Well, of course I do. He's my best friend. Just like Maxine's your best friend." I cover my eyes with my hand. "I just want them back. I mean, who knows what could be happening to them? I don't... Caleb's unwell. What if he's a mind controlled soldier like the ones I-well, Chrysalis-saw in London? He could drop dead just because he's not taking his medication like he should be."

"Don't think things like that."

"How can I not? I've met Diana. She doesn't care about anyone. She doesn't care about lives lost as long as she gets what she wants." I close my eyes for a long moment as my hand goes back to my side. "Do you... do you really think we're going to find them... our people, I mean. Do you really think we're going to find them alive, unharmed?"

It takes him a second to reply, probably because he's shocked that I would even ask such a question. "Yes. Of course I do. You... why would you ask that?"

"Because... because everyone says that we'll find them, but that's all they're doing. They're just saying it. They don't actually believe that we'll ever see Ed or Maxine or-or Caleb again. Most of them don't, anyway."

"Are you one of those people?" He asks.

"I... Some days I have full confidence that we'll figure all this out, but others... I don't know. It's been so long and we've barely gotten anywhere. I-I'm beginning to lose hope, Sam."

"Well, Veronica's test will be in a like, three days, I think? We help her, then she'll help us get into that Comansys base. With it being untouched by Comansys, we should find something."

"Yeah, but what if it's just another lead?"

"Then we'll follow it and see where it takes us."

My teeth grind together in frustration. "Sam, this isn't 'National Treasure'. Following clue after clue is eventually going to lead to a dead end. It's been over seven months... I don't know how much longer we can do this."

"As long as it takes until we find them," He says with determination. "Why are you so unsure?"

"I guess my faith in all of this is just beginning to waver." I pull the covers over my body, the cold from outside beginning to seep in. "I wish I'd brought my Bible with me. I was stupid to leave it. Reading it helps when I'm feeling like this. It reminds me of what faith can do."

"I could go get it for you if you like, read some of it out loud," He suggests. He's hesitant, but I smile.

"I thought you didn't believe in that anymore."

"Well, I... I'd do it for you, not really me. But I mean, it's nice sometimes, to believe there's someone listening when you need it."

"God's always listening..." I say, a sad smile on my face. "Too bad we never seem to do the same. Might learn something-hear something... Thanks for the offer, but you should probably go to bed. It's nearly four A.M. now, and if you keep pushing your luck, eventually Janine's gonna find out you're staying up past curfew."

"I think she already knows, but she just doesn't want to have to argue with me about it since she knows I won't give in. Not when it comes to talking to you, making sure you're alright."

My face heats up, and I let out an awkward cough. "R-right. Um, but yeah, you should probably get some rest. I'm okay now. Don't need you passing out from lack of sleep."

He laughs. "Yeah. Yeah, alright. I'll see you in the morning then. Wait, it already is morning. Um, I'll see you in a few hours?"

I giggle. "Yeah. That sounds about right. Now go to bed. Sweet dreams and all that."

"Yeah. Sweet dreams, Five."

There's a soft click signifying he's signed off coms, and I sigh dramatically. Why is talking to him so hard?

I mean, it's obvious he wants to know what I'm hiding-what I'm not telling, but how could I tell him that? How can I tell him that he's going to literally watch me get bitten by a zombie and die. I've heard his voice, his cries. They echo in my head. I can barely handle it. How will he be able to?

Plus, we still have so much to worry about. This would've help in the slightest bit.

My worries about finding our people are becoming stronger, along with my doubt. If it wasn't for the fact that I know we'll hear Maxine again, I'd have lost all hope. Because honestly, I don't know how much longer we can keep this up-believing, trying.

I close my eyes, and I see them there in my head. I see Caleb and Maxine. I remember their smiles, their laughs, their voices. But I find myself forgetting more details about them. I can't remember what color Caleb's hearing aids were, or if Maxine was right handed or left handed. It's small details, but that's how it starts.

It starts small, but then you forget more and more. I have a feeling that another six months from now, I'll have forgotten the color of Caleb's eyes, or the difference between my southern accent and Maxine's northern one.

And then, before I even know it, I'll have forgotten what they look like, what they sound like, how they speak and smell... I'll have forgotten it all.

I close my eyes. I wish it were easier. I wish when I'd get a vision, it would be something like coordinates of where our people are, or a scene of what Diana is planning, or what Comansys might be doing.

But it's not like that. Life's not like that; It's not easy.

So I'll just have to push through, and pray that we find something soon.

And that's exactly what I'm going to do. My faith may be wavering, but I haven't given up yet. Not just yet.

A/N: Hello, everyone! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please be sure to vote and comment! Thank you and have a blessed day!