Chapter 19: Halo

Singer dabs the washcloth onto Joey's forehead, ignoring his jumbled murmurs of nonsense. He's sweating and tossing his head from side to side, making it harder for her to put the cool cloth on him. He's burning with fever, his once sun kissed skin now a sickly pale-paler than even she; Singer hates it.

They tried. They tried their very best to get the correct medications, the correct creams-anything and everything to keep that cut on his arm from getting infected. But it's not enough. They don't know enough-didn't know enough.

So now Joey's just lying here, his arm wrapped up with the cleanest bandaging she and the others could find. The wound keeps festering up and is severely inflamed-the surrounding skin red and swollen. White and green puss is something they have to clean out of the wound three times daily while trying to keep it from bleeding too much.

It's hard, now that all the parents are gone. It's been only three weeks since the apocalypse, and so many people in Singer's group are dead. How many more will die before they find a permanent shelter?

Singer estimates Joey has two more days until he dies. It's a miracle he's lasted this long. Infection can kill someone within three days if not treated properly. Joey's going on his fourth day, but he's getting worse.

He needs penicillin and antibiotics, but every pharmacy or drug store Wesley and Tori have looked through has been fruitless. And it's too risky to go to a clinic or hospital. Those were the first places people went to after being bitten, hoping that there'd be a treatment or cure. There's swarms of zoms there. Trying to get in there would be suicide.

Katelyn sits in the corner of the barn they're all staying in. They weren't able to make it very far from the warehouse were Michelle... ran off. She still hasn't come back. Singer's come to the conclusion that her mother's never coming back. Now she's the sole person responsible for her little sister, and it terrifies her.

She has to keep herself and her sister safe, along with making sure the others don't turn on her since she's the one they blame for the deaths of their loved ones.

"He's... he's not going to make it, is he?" Katelyn mumbles, but Singer doesn't answer. She just continues to dab the wet cloth of Joey's forehead. "Singer. Singer... Ista."

Singer glares at her. "Don't call me that. That's the stupidest nickname ever."

It was a nickname she got when Katelyn was a baby. She couldn't pronounce Singer's name correctly, so she went with 'Ista' instead. Singer hates it. She believes it to be embarrassing. Kate uses the name when she wants to annoy her.

She frowns. "Mom said it was cute."

"Well, Mom is gone." She grits her teeth. God, it hurts so much just to say it. "She's gone and-and she's never coming back. And if she does come back, it'll be her corpse coming back to eat us alive. I... just don't call me that, okay?"

Katelyn flinches, and Singer immediately regrets her words. She knows she could've been-should've been-a bit less harsh.

"She could come back, alive. She could."

Singer sighs. "No, Kate. This isn't a movie where everyone magically turns out to be alive. As much as I wish it was-as much as I wish we could out looking for her, we can't. Right now, staying alive is our main priority. And Joey needs as much help as he can get since we have no penicillin to give to him."

She looks towards the door of the barn. "Hopefully one of the groups will be back soon."

"You don't think they left us here, do you?" Katelyn's eyes are wide with worry, but her older sister shakes her head.

"No. I made sure of that. I suggested Julia with Tori and Wes since she and Jessica both know some names of antibiotics since they used to have such weak immune systems and got sick all the time. I said, 'surely something should ring a bell.'

"Elijah and Jessica won't leave their sister, and Tori and Wes won't leave Joey." Singer shrugs. "Besides, all the food and water is here, not that we've got much of that left. It's weird though, since we left that warehouse with a week's worth and it's only been... four days, I think?"

Singer has noticed a few things going missing-a pack of beef jerky here, a protein bar there. She thought it was simply because they miscounted, but now they're a whole day short, with two day's worth instead of three. She's beginning to feel as if something may be off.

Just then, the barn door slides open, and Singer instinctively grabs the shovel beside her. Katelyn rushes up to the loft so she can find a weapon for herself, as well as get a look from the barn window at what might be coming.

But it's only Wes, Tori and Julia. They have a small cloth bag with what Singer prays is medication or an antibiotic. Just something that might help kill the infection.

"We didn't find much, but I was able to find a seven day antibiotic," Wesley says. He pulls out a little orange container and gives it a shake for emphasis. "And it's completely full."

"That's great," She grins. "How much of it is he supposed to take?"

He glances at the bottle. "One pill at night and one in the morning."

"Right. Uh, Julia, would you get a bottle of water? There should be some in that horse stall."

With how Joey looks, Singer knows he's in no condition to swallow the pill. She'll crush the pill up, put it in water and force it down his throat. The stuff will probably taste disgusting, but it's either this or dying.

Wesley hands her the pills, and she reads the label. 'Cephalexin' is what it's called. Singer is unsure exactly what this is or if this antibiotic will work. No one here is a doctor. For all they know, this could end up making things worse.

But they have to try.

"Um, something's off over here!" Julia frowns from the stall, and Singer raises a brow in confusion.

"What is it?"

"There's only twelve bottles of water here."

"What? That-that can't be right."

"I just counted. There's only twelve."

"But there were sixteen of them last night. It was supposed to last us two more days." Singer and the others allow themselves one bottle of water a day for each person. So with sixteen bottles and eight of them, there should be enough for two more days. She looks at Wesley with a raised brow. "You counted them last night. Did you miscount?"

He shakes his head. "No."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

Singer shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. We'll figure it out later or something. Just get a bottle of water. We can all take a few sips since he won't be able to drink all this anyway."

Julia obeys, grabbing a bottle of water and taking a few sips from it and then passing it to Tori, and she then passed it to Wesley after she's done. He finally passes it to Singer. They've all gotten over the 'fear of sharing drinks' thing. They're lucky to get sixteen ounces of water a day each... no one cares about such things like backwashing or mouth germs anymore.

Using the fork she found in a house a week ago, Singer crushes up the pill and puts the power into the quarter filled water bottle. Closing the cap, she gives it a good shake. Wesley heads around toward Joey, getting on his knees so he can hold his head up while Singer puts the bottle to his lips.

Joey coughs and sputters when the liquid hits his tongue. It must taste awful, but Tori helps in keeping his mouth closed so he's forced to swallow a mouthful of the liquid. They repeat the process a few times until the whole bottle is drank.

"It's not too early in the day, so we can do something like this again tonight. We just have to hope Jessica and Elijah bring us back some water and food," Julia says, and Singer blinks in confusion.

"Food? But we have-"

"No, we don't. From what I saw, we have like, a day's worth. It's actually like, a half day's worth."

"That's not possible." She contemplates asking if any of them has eaten more than their share, but thinks better of it. They all look terrible. They've been eating maybe five hundred calories a day. Tori's hair is already starting to fall out, and Singer's sure she's dropped ten pounds since the apocalypse began.

Being a child has its downfalls, one of them being a fast metabolism.

The thought of taking food is of course, tempting, but seeing that most of these people want to keep their family members alive, they wouldn't do so.

If someone is taking food, then Singer will not let him or her get away with it.

But now is not the time to think of such things. Now they all must come up with a plan to get more food and medicine for Joey, as well as some hygiene products. It's been forever since Singer last brushed her hair, or teeth. Unless you count brushing your teeth with just a toothbrush and no paste.

"I can see Elijah and Jessica," Katelyn yells from the loft. "Why are the running-oh. Uh, guys, we have a problem."

"What kind of problem?" Tori asks tensely.

"The kind that demands attention immediately."

"What is it, Kate?" Singer asks.

"Jessica and Elijah... they're running because uh, they've got zombies chasing after them. Lots of zombies... They're all on the hill about a mile away. Jessica and Elijah are really far ahead of them though."

The temperature in the room seems to drop as everyone's hearts stop for a split second. Of all the things that could go wrong...

"Open up the door!" A familiar voice shouts from outside. "Open the barn door! Hurry!"

Tori looks a bit unsure, as does Wes, but Julia runs to push open the barn door for her siblings. When she does, the two rush inside and push the door shut again, gasping for breath.

"What is wrong with you?" Wesley spats.

"Well, that's a lovely welcome to the people who risked their lives for your brother," Jessica pants.

"You've just put all our lives at risk because you've brought zombies back here! What were you thinking? We have basically nothing to use I defending ourselves. We have a gun with no bullets, a shovel, and a crowbar. Again, I ask what is wrong with you?"

"We did find some ammo, just so you know." Elijah pulls out a half full box of nine mm bullets and tosses them to him. "Plus we found some drinking water. Only a few bottles."

"Don't take it out of your bag," Singer says, standing up and grabbing the pistol so she can give it to Wes. "Not yet. How many zombies are heading for us?"

"I don't know. Maybe twelve."

Katelyn laughs from above. "More like thirty. They're slow, but they're still coming."

Singer grimaces. With only a half box of rounds, they'll have just the amount of bullets required to take down the zoms, maybe a bit less. But they can't waste all of their bullets on this. Plus the noise will only attract more zoms. And they can't stay, but the zoms' moans will attract more zoms.

"We need to leave. Now. Julia, Elijah go get the food and water as quick as you can. Katelyn, you keep watch for now and tell us when they're a half mile away from us; We need to be gone before then. I'll grab Joey's meds and antibiotics. Tori and Wes, you'll need to get Joey up so we can get out of here. Jessica, you take the gun for now."

The brunette scoffs but takes the gun which Wesley has loaded. "Who made you leader?"

Singer grits her teeth, holding her tongue because now really isn't the time to argue. Not with their lives potentially on the line.

"I'm not trying to act like a leader. I'm just trying to get out of here before the zombies that you led here get to us." She puts emphasis on the word 'you'.

"Oh, so this is my fault?"

"You are an adult. Elijah's nearly one. You should've thought about what would happen if you brought them here. So stop being mad that I've thought up a quick way to leave and just do what I've asked."

"You think you're smart, don't you, cousin?" She sneers. "But don't you think bringing Joey will slow us down?"

"Yes, which is why we must leave now. We're not going to leave him."

"Why? You were okay with leaving everyone else. You were okay with leaving Jeremiah."

"Jeremiah was literally covered by zoms. Even if I tried to saw him-"

"Joey is dying. What makes him any different?"

"Joey still has a chance. If we continue to give him antibiotics and maybe find some penicillin, he might survive."

Jessica laughs. "Stop trying to be a hero, Singer. Because you're not one. You're just a twelve-year-old brat who thinks she's special. Well, you're not. If we have to leave so urgently, we can leave without him."

"We're not going to leave him so he can be eaten alive," She growls.

"Fine." Jessica points the gun at Joey's barely conscious form. "We can give him a quick death."

"You can't be serious," Wesley gasps, and she looks him dead in the eye.

"It's the apocalypse. All you can be is serious here." Her eyes go back down to Joey.

"No!" Singer lunges for her,  grabbing her arm and pointing the gun away from him. "We can't just kill each other!"

"Why?" Jessica spats, struggling against the smaller girl. If they both weren't so weak from lack of food, the older girl would have won by now. "You were fine with getting everyone else killed!"

"That's a lie." Her long nails dig into Jessica's arm, just short of drawing blood, but she yelps when she's slammed into a beam before tripping over her feet and falling to the ground. She looks up and sees a gun pointed at her own head.

"You're lucky I don't shoot you, too," She says, before pointing the gun at Joey's head.

Singer reaches out, but it's too late. She's already pulled the trigger.

Blood and bits of brain matter spatter everywhere-on the walls, on the ground, on Singer's face. Tori screams in agony while Julia starts to curse at her sister.

"What the hell? What is wrong with you?" She shrieks.

Wesley is deathly still, his mind still trying to comprehend what has happened. Elijah is at a loss for words, looking down at the little drops of blood on his arms.

Katelyn climbs down from the loft, and her brown eyes widen at the sight of Joey's head, and the hole that's in it.

She looks at Singer, her eyes full of fear.

Singer stomps forward and snatches the gun out of Jessica's hand while she is distracted by Julia. She contemplates shooting her right then and there for what she's done, but they need the bullets, and the decision is not hers to make.

"We have to go," She says shakily. "The zombies have most definitely heard that gunshot. They'll be on us in about eight minutes. We have to leave."

Wesley is crying, as he's now starting to comprehend that his older brother is dead. Still, he grabs his sister's hand and pulls her away from their brother.

They head towards the back exit, and Singer's grip tightens on the gun as everyone passes her. When Jessica passes, she notices how pale her cousin is, as well as the dried blood around her nostrils.

Whether that's her own blood or Joey's, she doesn't know.

Singer decides she'll question it later. Right now she has to get Katelyn away from these zoms. That's the priority. Joey is dead... and there's no bringing him back. They have to worry about their own lives now.

Singer is sure there will be a talk on what to do with Jessica and how they should respond to her actions. There is blood on Singer's hands, but at least that blood isn't cold.

She can't say the same about her cousin.

Joey had a chance at survival, but she took it away from him.

•

My eyes open slowly, my mind numb and still trying to get back into reality.

Eighth kill.

Of course, I actually wasn't the one that got Joey killed, but I know deep down I could've stopped it. I could've saved him, or at least put up a better effort to save him.

Eight people dead in three weeks. Although a good chunk of the world's population was gone by then, so I guess for a group of children and young adults, staying alive for that long was a miracle.

Me staying alive this long has been a miracle. But I know I won't live forever. Actually, I know I probably won't live longer than a few years, according to Chrysalis's dream. She didn't say she felt any older, but she was older than me. She was three years my senior, so for all I know, I might have two years and a few months before I die...

That's so little time.

When most people hear that they're going to die, they go and do the things they've always wanted to. I could contact my sister, hear her voice again... I could tell Sam how I feel about him... I could learn how to sew and make Belle's pretty dress from 'Beauty and The Beast'.

But I won't do any of those things, because I'm still clinging to a hope that I'll somehow survive-that I'll make it out okay, like I always do. Maybe I could take the plasmapheresis treatments, or maybe we'll have found Maxine by then, and she'll have made something that's like a vaccine for the zombie virus. I know that's something she was hoping to work on before Van Ark blew up Abel.

In all honesty, I'm afraid. Most people would think it's weird that a Christian would be afraid of dying, but I am. Yes, I know where I'm going after I die. I know I'll see Jesus and get to live with Him there in heaven... But I've never died before. I don't know what it's going to feel like. That's the scary part-not the actual death and afterlife part-but how it will feel as I die. That's what scares me.

But I guess I'll know at some point. It'll probably be painful-excruciating. I mean, I've never seen someone die peacefully via zom bite. And I wonder how it will feel, looking down from heaven and seeing my rotting corpse trudge around, looking for a human to feast on.

I'm most likely gonna become a zombie unless God preforms a miracle... It's a sad thought, really.

But that's the world now-it's sad. There's still things to be thankful about, but the looming possibility of being eaten alive sort of takes away the joy.

I sigh and close my burning eyes. I just hope the kids are old enough to not need me. I hope that they don't adore me in the future as much as they do now. That might make it easier on them.

That's why I can't tell Sam how I feel. If there is the odd chance that he returns my feelings, then we'll only get a little bit of time before he has to watch me die-just like he watched Alice die.

I can't... I won't make him go through that.

"Five?"

I open one eye to see Summer standing beside my bed with a pinched face.

"What is it?" I ask.

"You alright? You've been uh, mumbling."

"Just thinking aloud," I lie. "Sorry. Everything's fine, I assure you."

The lie sticks. Even when everything is crashing down, a little lie makes it look like everything is alright.

That's just how the world works.

A/N: Well, this chapter was depressing. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Please be sure to vote and comment. Thank you and have a blessed day.