The Reluctant Wife: Chapter 56

‘Wait, what?’ Am I hearing things? ‘What’s wrong? Talk to me, baby.’

Her gaze is troubled. She tries to move away, but I hold her in place.

I belong to my wife wholeheartedly… But my declaration has not had the desired effect.

The beeping of my heart monitor grows more insistent. With a grimace, I tear the sticky patches attached to my chest and throw them aside. Instantly, there’s silence.

She looks at me in shock. ‘You shouldn’t⁠—’

‘Fuck that. You’re more important. Tell me what’s on your mind.’

‘I…’ She tries to speak, but no words emerge. ‘It’s just…’ She shakes her head. ‘I feel overwhelmed by everything.’

‘It was a shock when I collapsed in your arms bleeding. I understand that.’

‘It’s more than that.’ Her gaze grows haunted. ‘I realized, if you didn’t make it, if something were to happen to you, I’d never be the same again. The fact that I have become so dependent on you is something I’m going to have to get used to.”

‘I’m dependent on you too, baby. You’re my heart. My life. You know that.’

She purses her lips, and a shiver engulfs her. ‘It makes me feel so vulnerable.’

‘Tell me about it.’ I cup her cheek. ‘We can do this together. We’ll be there for each other. Us against the world. I’ll always be in your corner. When you fall down, I’ll pick you up. When I lose hope, you’ll be my shining light. When you lose confidence, I’ll be your support. When I act like an asshole, you’ll shut me down.’ I look into her eyes. ‘And then there are those orgasms.’

She snorts through her tears, then laughs. ‘I’m sorry, I slapped you while you were out. It was the only thing that occurred to me to keep you awake.’

‘You can do anything you want with me, baby.’ I take her hand and flatten her palm into my face. ‘I’m yours. Body, mind, and soul. All of me is at your command.’

Her gaze intensifies.

I wink. ‘Except when it comes to your pleasure. On that point, you obey what I tell you to do.’

Her lips tremble, and a small smile curves her lips. ‘And I believe you. I do.’ She frames my face with her hands. ‘It’s why I need to step back and revaluate.”

Footsteps sound and a nurse comes running into the room. She stops when she sees me and the Duchess. ‘The heart monitor.’

I wave a hand without taking my gaze off my wife. ‘I’m fine.’ Then, I force myself to swallow down the impatience welling up my chest. ‘Please, can you give us a few minutes, and then you can hook me back up?’

She hesitates. But something in my voice must convince her, for she leaves. The door snicks shut behind her.

‘Time, you said?’ I prompt my wife. I’m trying to make sense of her words. I have a sense of where this conversation is going, but I don’t want to second guess her.

She lowers her hands, then nods.

‘Just…a little while to process everything that’s happened.’ Once more, her gaze turns haunted. ‘I’m not abandoning you, especially not when you’re wounded. I promise, I’m here for you. But it would be wrong if I weren’t open with you about this. For our future together, it’s important that I think things through. I need a little time to come to grips with my feelings for you.’

I want to say no. I want to say that now we’ve found each other, I will not spend one moment away from her. I was stupid not to recognize my feelings earlier. I should have committed to her right way, but I also recognize that she needs time—just like I did—to process what happened.

She needs time to work through seeing me shot and bleeding out in her arms. I can’t begrudge her that. All I can do is make sure she understands what she means to me.

‘I love you.’ I clamp my hand over the nape of her neck and bring her in for a deep, drugging kiss that has the blood draining to my groin.

I slow the kiss, nibble on her lower lip, and she shudders. I lick into her mouth, and a tiny moan escapes her.

I hold her gaze. ‘You’re mine, Empress. My wife. My soulmate.” I manage a smile, drawing on the diminishing patience inside of me, knowing I’m going to need that, and more, until she resolves the dilemma in her mind. ‘I’d slay your demons for you, if you give me a chance⁠—’

She begins to speak, but I place a finger on her lips.

‘—but I know this is something you have to work through on your own.’

She looks at me with a grateful light in her eyes. ‘How can you be so perfect? How can you be so…so hot, and also so… So… Understanding? Even when you’re an asshole, I like you.’ She rolls her eyes. ‘You’re making it very hard for me to put this distance between us, you know?’

‘Then don’t.’

‘But I have to.’ Her expression turns beseeching. ‘I need to figure out a few things for myself, and the only way to do that is if I put a little distance between us. I need to process my feelings for you. How my entire life feels different. How my goals are no longer what I thought they were. I need…to figure out where I’m headed. I owe us that.”

I’d go down on my knees and beg if I thought that’d make a difference, but the set of her features, and the glimmer in her eyes, tells me I need to allow her to be. If I respect her, I’ll give her the space she’s asking for.

I look deeply into her eyes. “I’ll never hold you back. You’d better believe that I’ll also give you space when you need it.”

She stares, surprise evident on her face. “You—” She begins to speak but I shake my head.

“You don’t have to say anything. Those are some big emotions you’re dealing with. Trust me, I know.’

She begins to tear up.

“Don’t cry, sweetheart.” My heart feels like it’s going to burst with love for her.

“Thank you—” She clears her throat. “Thank you for understanding.”

I search her features and understand how difficult this is for her. I’m not going to make it more challenging.

I’m going to stand by her. Whatever she needs I’ll give it to her.

“You should know one thing though”—my voice turns determined—“I’m not going to ever be very far from you ever again. But I’m also not going to crowd you.” I lean in and kiss her hard. ‘Go get some rest. And if you need to talk things out with me, I’ll be here.’