Chapter 39

ANYA

When I reach the administrative building, Dimitri is no longer there, and the conference room is empty. Knowing where I might find him, I head straight for his office.

I raise my hand to knock on the door but hesitate when I see his golden nameplate. It twists my heart with pain to see the neatly engraved letters of his name; it must have filled him with such pride once.

So many times I have visited this office, never caring about this minor detail before. But now, just the thought that there will be someone else’s nameplate here has me feeling every kind of guilt I can feel.

If only I had not pursued him. He would still have been respected. He would still have had his job.

~Where will he go now?~

After I knock, Dimitri’s cracked voice greets my ears through the wood. “Come in.”

As the tears threaten to spill again, I squeeze my eyes until my eyeballs hurt. Then I push the door open with a shaking hand, my heart plummeting with a heavy crash when I see Dimitri packing all his stuff into a cardboard box.

He is placing his notebooks inside when he looks up, his face lighting up just a touch at seeing me.

I shut the door and lean against it, inhaling his musky scent in this place for the last time. It fills my lungs with comfort, warmth, and even more guilt. “So, that’s it? They just kicked you out?” I ask, praying to hear a different answer.

“Yeah. They heard us all talking in the hall.” His answer shatters that hope. “Confirmed that it wasn’t a one-sided relationship.” Dimitri stacks book after book inside, closing the box when the room is stripped of all his personal touches.

“What did they say?”

“That they were ashamed of me.” His voice turns deeper, as if clogged by pain. “Did I ever tell you that I was the chief advisor of that very board?”

“Oh my god…”

“It’s ironic that I was the first to get fired.” He smiles humorlessly. “Fuck! I feel so pathetic.”

Fear compels me to ask, “Will they expel me?” I tap my nails against the door to find a way to release my anxiety.

“No. I told them that we aren’t together anymore.” His eyes carry a promise when he meets mine. “Nothing will happen to you.”

“You shouldn’t have taken the blame. It was my fault.” I look down at the floor, unable to bear the weight of his kind gaze. “I came on to you. You didn’t even touch me before I kissed you.”

His shadow hugs me before he does. He presses his body to mine, his arms holding me as he brushes a swift kiss on my temple. “No one came on to anyone.” He tips my chin up. “You’re the greatest adventure of my life, Anya. You made me believe I was worthy of love too.”

The smile I give is painful. It feels fake because I know he is hiding his true feelings. ~He must be~. I say, “You put too much blame upon yourself for things that aren’t your fault.”

He gives the dullest of laughs at that. “That’s the man life made me.”

I grab his hands, clutching his cold fingers tightly within mine. “Not anymore. I’m right beside you, and I’m never letting you doubt your worth again.”

His expression softens, the familiar look I long to see upon him dawning in fragments. “You’ll stay, then?”

I nod. “Forever.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you too,” I let the confession out, breathing a sigh when his eyes widen just a fraction. If we had been anywhere else, those three words would have been louder, but this is more real—just a truth he needs to know for now. “Let’s go home, shall we?”

“Home…” He hums, stroking my cheeks with the tips of his fingers, his eyes lost in mine. “Home sounds good.”

It always does when it comes to him…and us.

DIMITRI

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Anya pesters me with her question for the millionth time when we reach the door to my apartment.

Inhaling deeply, I set the cardboard box down and turn to her. A fleeting glimpse of vulnerability shadows her gaze, and her lips form a subtle pout as she studies my face with the concern of a worried girlfriend.

~Girlfriend~. The thrill of thinking of her as that hasn’t left my nerves yet. The idea takes shape in my mind, and I break into a grin for the first time in a while.

Extending my arms on both sides, I spin around, offering her a complete view of me. “See?” I say when I face her again. I squeeze her shoulders and bend low to match her height. “Everything is fine. I’m fine.”

“How can you be? You just lost your job,” she says, protesting like she is unable to believe my attitude. Her nose turns slightly up when she is annoyed, and it is the cutest thing. “Dimitri, how will you feed yourself?”

“You think I’m incapable of getting a new job?”

“As a professor?” she counters, crossing her arms and glaring at me.

~Won’t she make a lovely mother with that attitude?~

My sneaky eyes steal a glance at her belly, imagining her filled up with a kid of my own. Anya’s pointed stare, however, manages to bring me back to the present.

“Yeah, that won’t be happening, unfortunately. There’s a red mark on that.” I make a disappointed face, and Anya’s expression crumples.

Her lips start trembling viciously, and the glassiness of her eyes gives way to tears that trail down her cheeks. “It’s all because of me!” she wails, grabbing my T-shirt in fistfuls and nearly shoving me against the door with how much force she puts in. “Fuck! I’m so sorry.”

“Anya, here—look at me.” I make her let go of my clothes and hold her hands between mine. “It’s not your fault. Look at it this way, now we have no reason to hide from the world. Now we can be together without any barriers.”

She pauses her sobs, sniffling back up the drop of snot that trailed from her nose. “That’s what you’re focused on? Dimitri…I’m genuinely worried for you.”

“Don’t be. I’m okay.”

“You promise?” She hiccups as she asks, her eyes still doubtful as she rubs a finger under her nose.

“Promise,” I say with a smile. “Now, can I get my kiss of freedom? I’m desperately waiting for it.” I lean in before she can vocally permit me, seeking her lips.

She moves her head away, twisting her face in mock disgust. “You’re such an ass.”

I grab her hips firmly, keeping her in place as I reach for her mouth again, but she dodges me, giggling at my persistence.

“Just kiss me, babe,” I say.

She concedes finally, her soft, dewy lips molding to mine.

The kiss she gives me breathes life into me, and the taste of her is so fresh and sweet that my tongue is quick to slide into her mouth. The sounds we make as she twists her arms around my neck are music to my ears.

With my free hand, I reach for my key in my pocket, unlocking the door. I step inside backward and pull her with me, still kissing her.

I push her against the wall, one hand pressed above her head while the other curves around her waist, gluing her body to mine. We ravage each other, the worries of the morning washing away with every sweep of our tongues.

~Why does everything feel so right when I am in Anya’s arms?~

She births feelings in me I never knew existed. It entrances me, has me wanting to keep her with me forever. She is the angel in my hell. Without her, I am soulless.

“Shit!”

The hushed yet loud voice causes us to jump apart. I pivot, ready to face whatever mood Blake is in. However, I am not prepared for what I see.

Blake stands at the foot of the stairs, clad in a leather jacket and jeans, with a duffel bag thrown over his shoulder. He is staring at us in astonishment, the soft flush of pink in his cheeks making it clear that he saw what we were doing.

“Blake? What the—” I take a second look at his bag, unable to understand where he is heading this early in the morning. “Where are you going?”

He shuts his eyes briefly then mutters under his breath, “So much for running away secretly.”