28. Accepting a New Loss

PLEASE READ: Sorry for the wait, as usual! This chapter was extremely difficult for me to get out and it's long, so it took me awhile. But I wanted you guys to have an extra long chapter to read. This chapter is not edited, as it's over 10,000 words and it would take me forever to edit and I wanted to get it out as quick as possible for you guys. We're right near the end of the book, and then I have plans for a sequel! :) Winter break is coming up for me so I'll try to get ahead of my writing then. College has been keeping me busy so I apologize for that. Please vote and comment! I love reading what you guys have to say. Enjoy!

ADD ME ON SNAPCHAT - HUGACATT  <<<< (YES 2 T's)

OH AND BEWARE: SEXUAL CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER

28. Accepting a New Loss

I could feel arms around my torso - thick, warm, familiar arms.

I cracked my eyes open unwillingly, my gaze meeting the neck of the person I was pressed tightly against. Jace was still asleep, his chest rising peacefully. I wanted to resent him, I wanted to slap him for crawling in bed with me and invoking all these feelings, but I knew I couldn't. I was much more inclined to just shut my eyes and cling closer to his body.

For not seeing him for as long as I had, he looked even more gorgeous than I remembered. Even after a night full of sleep though, there were still bags underneath his eyes, as if he was in dire need of more rest. My heart beat furiously in relief at the sight of him and I knew I ha d missed him more than I ever would admit.

I knew this wasn't a good idea, so cursing mentally, I slowly began to move away from his inviting body, my chest beginning to ache as I did so.

That woke him up, his eyes snapping open and moving quickly to meet mine. The peaceful look he had had previously on his face quickly fell into something much darker. His stare had narrowed slightly, lines forming between his eyebrows as he pulled be closer to his body. His arms tightened, keeping me from moving another inch away from him. "What are you doing?"

I narrowed my gaze at him, wanting very much to hate him in that moment. "No, what are you doing? You're in my bed." I pressed a hand against his chest, hoping that I could force some space from his body.

"You mean my bed." He corrected, letting his head fall on top of my again. I starting to protest, but he shushed me. "I'm trying sleeping."

"After everything, you think I'll be fine sleeping next to you?" I questioned, forcing out a harsh laugh, before I began to struggle to get away from his grip. "Nope, that's not how it works."

He refused to loosen his grip, moving to stare intensely back down at me. "I know I owe you an apology for-"

"Forget it." I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to hear his lies. "None of this even matters anymore." And that was true. My fate had been set. In a short matter of time I wouldn't even be by his side.

"Of course it does." His voice was hushed in the darkness of the room. It was too early still, but now I was wide-awake, anxiety making my chest tight.

"You were gone for awhile." I noted, unable to stop the words from passing my lips, wishing that I could stop the words from spilling from my mouth.

A pregnant pause, filled with complicated questions and a hard tension that made my stomach ache.

"I'm sorry-"

"You don't owe me an apology. You don't owe me anything." I cleared my throat harshly, deciding to study his throat instead of his beautiful face that made my thoughts too mushy and unclear.

"I understand a lot has happened to you since I've been gone," He hesitantly began, "All of which will be appropriately dealt with." His words were formal, too stiff.

"It doesn't even matter." I scoffed again bitterly, pushing hard enough against his chest for him to release me from his grip. "None of it does. It's too late."

"And you think you've been helping things?" A hint of anger had picked up in his voice. He watched me stonily as I moved away from his figure. "Noah, Savannah? Really?"

"Oh, don't act like you care." I shot back, rolling out of bed and standing up, heading towards the bathroom without a look back. "It's none of your business."

"Yes, it is." He argued, his voice low.

"Stop trying to fucking control everything." I muttered underneath my breath, loudly slamming the bathroom door behind me. I quickly turned on the shower, wanting to drown out anything he might try to say in response. My heart was beating furiously, though I refused to cry.

Still, over the spray, I still managed to hear him yell. "You're going to avoid this. We'll talk once you're out!"

Steam quickly filled the bathroom as the hot water sprayed down and I quickly undressed myself, blushing at the lack of pants I had been wearing, before stepping into the stream.

The hot water quickly worked at soothing my tensed muscles and relaxing my thoughts from the stress that was weighting heavily on my body.

The shock of seeing Jace was still in my system and I inhaled deeply a few times, trying to rid myself of it. I needed to think clearly and figure out a plan. I didn't want his reappearance to mess up everything that was already set in place.

I needed to focus on what I knew would happen.

I took my time finishing up my shower, slowly drying off, before wrapping a towel tightly around my body. I eased the door open a crack, peeking out into the bedroom. There was no one in it and the emptiness of it eased my anxiousness.

Hesitantly, I opened the door, easing myself out. There was no one in the room and seeing the emptiness of it eased some of my anxiousness.

Dropping my towel quickly, I didn't waste any time getting dressed, fully aware that Jace could reappear at any moment.

Sliding on a pair of yoga pants and a hoodie, I worked at towel drying my hair. My stomach was an empty pit of nerves. To know Jace was back somewhere in this house hurt my head to think about.

A knock at the door had my breath catching in my throat.

"Savannah?" Cameron called out, his fingers rapping at the wood once more. "You in there?"

I hesitated, before clearing my throat. "Hold on!"

I much rather would've screamed obscenities at the boy, but I figured that wouldn't go over well. Breathing in deeply, I smoothed my hands over my sweatshirt, before moving towards the door.

"Did you need something?" I desperately tried to contain the rude words that wanted to escape my mouth. I wanted to scream at him about being pawn, about how he had treated me, about what my future would hold. But, instead, I just offered him a bland look.

He hesitated, before offering me a bright smile, as if this week hadn't gone the way it had. "Good morning!"

I swallowed around the growing lump in my throat, offering a smile that I knew wouldn't reach my eyes. "Hi. What's up?"

"Jace asked my to accompany you to his office." Cameron smirked, stepping away from my doorway and gesturing towards the hall, "So, if you could just-"

"Why?" I interrupted, my fake smile tightening around my lips. "We already talked today."

"Savannah." Cameron sighed, shaking his head. "I just follow orders. Now, will you please come?"

Knowing fully well that he wouldn't let it drop, I pressed my lips together and stepped out into the hallway, shutting the door softly.

"Thanks," He shot me another smile, this time one of relief, before turning on his heel.

I was rigid as I stood behind Cameron, staring blankly at the grand double-doors that led into Jace's office. Cameron rose his fist, letting it hit the door twice before he dropped it. He turned to offer me another smile, one that was most likely meant to relax me, but only caused the opposite to happen.

"Come in."

At the sound of his voice, my body tightened up in panic and yearning. I suddenly wanted to run. My hands curled into two tight fists as I fought the urge to.

Cameron opened the door, standing away to gesture me in. I offered him a tight smile, mumbling my thanks before forcing myself to walk through. Refusing to even look at the man at the desk, my head stayed ducked.

"Here's, Savannah."

"Thanks, Cameron."

The door shut behind Cameron as he left, the noise opening the flood of silence that drowned the room. He stayed silent, as did I. I felt suffocated, wanting nothing more than to avoid his presence. With the knowledge of what would happen in a few days, it was only more painful to be standing in front of him.

As the minutes ticked by, I finally glanced up, focusing in on the gorgeous man in front of me. He was focused on his laptop, though his tensed shoulders clued me in on his anger. He looked anything but relaxed as he aggressively pounded down on the keys.

"Er-" I hesitated, though the sound of my voice did nothing to catch his attention. "Was there something you needed?" My voice was an uneven stammer, my nerves evident in the sound of my words.

"Breakfast." He demanded, not even looking up from his laptop. He jerked his chin towards the couch and chairs, and the wide arrange of breakfast foods spread across the coffee table.

My gaze began to narrow into something akin to a glare centered at his face. My temper has begun to rise as the minutes had passed, my nerves lost as adrenaline started pumping through me. "No."

That got him to look up, his own beautiful meeting my own. "Savannah-"

I let out a choked laugh, interrupting him, avoiding the urge to cry. Instead, I crossed my arms, letting my lips harden into a thin line. "What did you need?"

"I need you to eat breakfast." He shut his laptop, rolling away from his chair and standing up. My eyes wandered over his body before I could stop him, his grey suit-pant and white dress-shirt combo making my mouth water. I quickly snapped my eyes back to his own.

"...not hungry." I mumbled, crossing my arms. My heart slammed in my chest as he started to move closer to me. "You can't make me listen."

"Always so stubborn." He sighed, shaking his head briefly. "You need to eat." He murmured, before he came to a stop in front of me.

"I'm fine." I shot him a harsh look, before skirting around him and settling into a chair away from the breakfast spread.

"We need to talk." He spoke up and I heard his footsteps as he moved closer to me once again.

"No," I protested, shaking my head. "I don't want to talk. Can't you listen to me for once?"

He knelt in front of me, pausing for a moment, before he spoke. "It's your birthday soon." He murmured, moving to reach behind me for a throw that was tossed over the chair. I stiffened at the feel of his breath against my neck. He shook it out, before moving to wrap it around my shoulders. I attempted to not flinch away from his touch. "We're going out for a celebration."

I didn't respond, my mind instantly whirling to life at the possibility of how I could possibly get out of this, but most of all I could feel the longing in my chest to accompany him. I didn't know the time I had left with him and even knowing that he was using me, I still wanted to go with him and wrap my arms around him and never let him go.

"No thank you." I murmured, staring down at my hands in my lap, hoping he would distance himself from me.

He didn't, instead inching himself closer and gently gripping my chin so I would look at him. "We're celebrating your birthday tonight. And we're going to talk."

"Believe what you want." I jerked my face from his grip, glaring at him fiercely. "But, it's still not going to happen."

He didn't speak, his jaw tensed, before he stood and made his way to his desk. "Be ready by seven. Ashley will help you. Now eat your breakfast."

"You think you can just come back and things will go back to normal? Like nothing ever happened? I'm not going." I could feel the lump in my throat steadily growing.

"Seven, Savannah. Now eat." Jace only spoke once more, before jerking his head towards the breakfast still on his coffee table. Then his gaze was once more focused on the laptop on the desk in front of him.

"Things aren't just going to go back to normal." I fought to keep my voice even.

"I thought you didn't want to talk about things?"

I wanted to punch him in that moment, to break things, to scream. But not wanting to give him the satisfaction of watching me lose it, I carefully inhaled instead.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"There's a lot-"

"What do you want to talk about?" I hissed out, finally standing up, my hands twisted tightly into two hard fists. "The fact that you left me with Greg? That you had two men tie me up and drug me? That I've been followed around like a prisoner? That I lost my best friend?"

He seemed at a loss for words as he struggled for what to say. His expression was torn and pain briefly flashed across his face. "Savannah-"

"No," I shook my head fiercely, back away slowly to the door. "You don't get to say my name. Just leave me alone, okay? I hate you."

And then I was running for the door, desperate to escape from his consuming presence and all the memories I just wanted to forget.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A knock on my door four hours later had my gut feeling with dread. I blinked at it, not wanting to have to open it.

"It's only me, Savannah." The familiar tone of Ashley's voice called out, calming and reassuring. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." I called back hesitantly, sitting up in bed.

She let herself in, her huge makeup bag in one hand and a curling iron in the other. "I'm here to help you get ready."

I resisted the urge to groan, instead choosing to bite down on my lip. "I'm not going, I don't want to."

She paused, watching me calculatingly for a moment, before turning and moving towards the bathroom. "How about this?" She called out over her shoulder. "Come get ready and then you can decide if you want to go. You look like you can use some girl time anyways."

"Ashley..." I groaned reluctantly, but I still found myself shaking off my blankets and standing up.

I found myself seated in a chair in my bathroom, a spread of cosmetics and beauty products spread across the counter in front of us. Awkwardness filled the space between Ashley and I, neither of us knowing how to speak to each other after the events that had occurred.

As she brushed eye-shadow across my lids, she pursed her lips. "So, how have you been?"

"Fine," I answered shortly, resisting the urge to scowl at her question. Couldn't anyone realizee I didn't want to talk about it?

"Really? Cause a lot has happened." She mused, shaking her head lightly. "Too much. I can't imagine it's easy dealing with it all."

"I'm fine." I mumbled once more.

"What happened with Brooke? She said you guys got into a fight?" Ashley tried again, cautiously curious.

"Nothing. People just grow apart." I shrugged, not wanting to talk about it, the pain of losing Brooke still something I wanted to avoid.

"Really?" She said again, still not convinced

"Yup." I shrugged, unable to stop myself from fidgeting

"Hmm," She hummed, sounding unconvinced. "And you have things figured out with my brother yet?"

"What?" I choked on my spit, my eyes snapping open.

"Savannah! I'm trying to do your eyeliner!" She shrieked, squinting down at my eyes. "Be careful!"

"Your fault." I grouchily muttered, shutting my eyes once more.

"Shush." She chuckled, resuming what she was doing. "Focus is needed for this."

"You're the one asking stupid questions." I pointed out, mentally rolling my eyes.

"Logical questions." She corrected, capping her eyeliner before reaching over to grab mascara. "Important questions. You had my brother were clearly infatuated-"

"Stop." I moaned, wanting to flee the room. "I don't need to hear this."

"Because you know I'm right!" She argued. "Obviously my brother is human and has faults and I hope you can consider forgiving him.

"There's really no reason to at this point." I mumbled darkly, my thoughts flashing to what I knew would happen with Greg and Ricardo.

"What?"

"Nothing," I shook my head nervously, wishing it didn't have to be true. "It's nothing."

She didn't speak and I knew she wasn't convinced.

"So - if I do choose to go, where will we be going tonight?" I changed the subject quickly.

"Oh, it'll just be Jace and you. But, to this lovely restaurant, right on the waterfront."

"Excuse me?" I almost choked again, gripping the arms of the chair tightly. "Just Jace and I?"

"Of course," Ashley finished smoothly, dropping the mascara tube back into her bag as I opened my eyes. "He wanted some time with you."

"I don't want time with him, though, so that's not really fair." I argued, staring wide-eyed up at the blonde. "You can't just leave me alone with him!"

"Shush." She said once more, rolling her eyes and plugging in the curling iron. "Now time for hair."

By the time she had finished with hair and makeup, I felt like a completely different person. My eyes were now smokey, my skin had a bronzed-glow, and my was wavy and voluminous.

"There," She stepped back, looking satisfied as her eyes roved over my face. "And right on time. You need to get dressed. The dress should be on your bed."

"I haven't decided if I'm going yet." I protested as she pulled me up and shoved me from the bathroom.

"You're going." She snorted, "Now get dressed."

The dress was simple and black, though far-too tight for my comfort. The heels were a decent height, something I would still struggle to walk in though.

"Are you done?" Ashley questioned, peeking from the bathroom. "Be careful with your hair. It looks great!" She gushed as she took in the dress. "Your waist looks so tiny."

"I don't want to go..." I muttered darkly, not even bothering to look at myself in the mirror.

"I have the perfect trench coat for that dress! I'll be right back!" And then she was eagerly rushing out.

I bent down, easing my feet into the dangerous-looking heels.

"You look beautiful."

Shocked at the voice, I was unable to stop the squeal from leaving my lips as I crashed onto the floor, one heel on.

"You scared me!" I gasped, a hand clasped to my chest as I stared up with wide eyes at Jace. My heartbeat quickened at the sight of him in his suit, looking more attractive than ever. "Don't do that!"

"I'm sorry." He murmured, reaching out to offer me a hand to get up, watching me carefully. I hesitated for a moment before accepting it.

"Thank you." I whispered, smoothing my dress down and shoving my foot into the other heel. "You can thank your sister for the dress, by the way."

"I'll make sure to do that." He chuckled, rolling his eyes. "You ready to head out?" He watched me hesitantly, as if he was prepared for me to decline his offer.

Inhaling sharply, I forced a smile. "Sure."

"Wait, your jacket!" Ashley shouted from the hall.

I knew this would most likely be the last night where I could feel somewhat free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You remember Callum, right, Savannah?" Jace questioned to the man standing by his limo, as he helped me over to it.

"Yes, I think so." I offered a genuine smile to the man. "Nice to see you again."

"Lovely as always, Ms. Stone." Callum bowed his head, before pulling the door open.

Jace helped me in, before getting in himself. "Thanks for driving us!" I shouted out to Callum before he could shut the door.

"Always so polite." Jace smirked.

I settled for staring down at my lap, not knowing how to act around him anymore. I yearned to be close to him, to touch him, to be able to talk to him. Though knowing what would happen made it too difficult.

"Excited for your birthday?" Jace pressed and I could tell he was desperate for conversation.

I shrugged again, turning to the window, suddenly curious as to exactly what the plans were for the night. "So were going to a restaurant?"

"Did Ashley spoil it?" Jace scowled, looking frustrated all of the sudden.

"No, she didn't. She just mentioned a restaurant by the pier." I muttered, still refusing to look away from the windows.

There was silence for a moment, before he cleared his throat. "Yes, my favorite restaurant. You should like the view."

"Oh," I hummed, tapping my fingers against the leather seats.

I think he got the hint because the rest of the ride was silent.

The view took my breath away when we arrived. The stars twinkled over the water, reflecting onto the water below. The waves rocked against the sand, created a calmness that I forever wanted to be surrounded by. I sucked in a breath. "It's beautiful."

"Isn't it?"

He looped his arm around my waist as we headed to the doors of the restaurant and I kept my mouth shut, liking the feel of his arm around me.

"Mr. Kingston," The hostess nodded as she spotted us, looking much more frazzled than she had seconds ago. She straightened, offering him a smooth smile and not even glancing in my direction, as if she just knew I was insignificant.

Jace didn't even nod in acknowledgement, instead letting his eyes drag over the interior of the restaurant, as if he was deciding if he actually wanted to dine there.

"Two then, Sir?" The hostess had spoken again, offering another nervous smile.

"Yes." He finally smirked, keeping his iron grip on my waist before he began to move towards the table, the hostess not speaking as she fell into step behind us. Those dining at their tables watched us with an intimidated-respect, their eyes wearily taking in all of Jace, before briefly straying to me.

"A-any empty table is fine, Sir." The hostess spoke up once more, and I could practically hear her nerves in her voice.

Jace only hummed in response before stopping in front of a private table near the back. He pulled out the chair to one of the seats, before gesturing to it. "For the birthday girl."

I fought against the blush that threatened to expose itself across my cheeks before settling in the chair. "Thank you," I murmured.

As Jace took his own chair, the hostess quickly settled two fancy-looking menus onto the crisp white tablecloth in front of us. "Anything to drink? Perhaps I can make a suggest?" She smiled tightly at Jace, and I didn't miss how her eyes briefly wandered.

"Champagne." Jace commanded, not even glancing at the woman. He was too busy staring heatedly at me.

"Of course." She nodded, before turning and confidently leaving.

"Champagne," I mused, fidgeting for a moment, flipping my menu open.

"As a celebration for your birthday." He explain, grabbing his own menu.

My eyes flickered around the dimly lit room. "Hmm." I hummed underneath my breath.

"What?" He curiously pressed, leaning forward slightly.

We were at a surprisingly private table, located in the back corner. I wasn't surprised that Jace had chosen a ritzy place to dine. I felt more than just a little out of place and I shifted in my chair uncomfortably, dropping my eyes to the pristine table cloth.

"Table near the back, private so no one can hear and so you can have everyone in your sight. No windows directly by us and a door for easy escape." I mused, before placing my attention back on the menu, but not before I caught the slightly impressed look he shot me.

"Paying attention, I see?" He arched a brow. Suddenly it was too hot and I fanned at myself for a moment.

"Where's that champagne?" I hastily spoke, tucking curls behind my hair as I eagerly looked around, avoiding eye contact with him.

Just as I spoke, a man approached, two glasses and a bottle balanced on a tray on his hand.

"Good evening, Mr. Kingston. " He smoothly greeted, setting the glasses down on the table in front of us. "Good evening, ma'am, to you as well. Our finest champagne." He placed the bottle on the table

"Thank you." I hastily replied to the waiter, picking up my glass of champagne quickly, eager for the drink to take the edge of my nerves from having to sit across from Jace.

Jace gaze turning to disapproving, his lips turning down in something akin to a frown as he watched me eagerly gulp down the liquid.

The waiter subtly clear his throat, turning to face Jace. "My name is Trevor and I'll be serving you today. Are you ready to order, Mr. Kingston?"

"Another moment, please." Jace politely replied, not allowing his gaze to stray from mine.

"Of course, sir." The waiter's eyes briefly met mine, before he nodded, disappearing from our side.

"Maybe you should slow down." Jace spoke up, crossing his thick arms across his chest as he sat back in his chair. "I'm willing to bet you haven't eaten much in the past days and it's not good to drink on an empty stomach."

"It's just a little alcohol." I rolled my eyes, waving a hand as if to dismiss his worries as I placed my glass back on the table. "Don't be so dramatic, Jace."

"Fine." Jace sighed, running a hand through his stylishly messy hair and my throat thickened. "Have you looked at the menu?"

"I'm not hungry. Order whatever." I replied shortly, smoothing my hands along the hem of my dress.

I could see him struggling to reel in his temper as he snatched up the menu, his eyes black as he read over it. Silence had filled the table once more and the quiet was causing my stomach to turn sharply. I nervously ran my index along the rim of my glass, straying my gaze around the room we were seated in.

"Pasta sound okay? Or maybe a burger?" Jace suggested, his jaw strained, the only indication that he was bothered.

"Sure." I swallowed another large mouthful of my champagne as Jace moved to watch me, his gaze dropping to narrow solely on the glass that was gripped tightly in my hand. I waved my free hand loosely around, blinking lazily at the gorgeous man seated before me. "Whatever you want."

"Don't you think you've had enough already, Savannah?" He questioned disapprovingly, cocking his head as he leaned back in his seat. His dark gaze, which had now met my own, had my stomach twisting with nerves and I quickly swallowed around the growing lump in my throat.

"I'm fine." I forced out quietly, reluctantly placing my glass back on the tablecloth, before turning to stare out the window at the waves that were wildly crashing against the shore now. The sky had darkened as night enthused, a thought that only had more anxiety clawing at my chest. The unknowns of where this night could lead were very clear to me.

"Just slow down. I don't want you drunk." He hesitantly replied, his words slow and cautious, his eyes still shaped into something akin to a glare as he watched me. "I actually want you to remember this night, believe it or not."

"Sadly, I probably will." I shot back, glancing out the window once more in an effort to avoid his striking eyes that seemed to unnerve me every time. "I can have a drink, Jace."

Resting against the back of chair, I crossed my arms over my torso, letting my eyes rest upon Jace. It was clear he was reluctant to let me have drink, most likely aware of how easily alcohol affected me, but I couldn't will myself to care.

He didn't respond to my words, instead settling on leaning back and crossing his arms. He watched me, his gaze steady and I twitched nervously in my chair at his stare.

The waiter returned, an unsure smile on his face as he stopped in front of our table. "Have we decided, Mr.Kingston."

"The pasta." He directed, not even glancing in the man's direction. My lips turned down down, pressing into a tight frown at his rudeness, before I shifted in the direction of the waiter. He wasn't bad looking. In fact, the faint blush that had colored his cheeks and his curly hair almost made him cute.

"Will that be all?" He stammered out nervously and I smiled up at him, wishing that I could be attracted to another man like I was to Jace.

"I think so, Trevor." I slurred out as I read off his name-tag, offering him a wink as I leaned towards him. "Thanks for everything. Can you get me a yummy drink? Anything's fine."

"Of course-"

Before Trevor could even let the words escape from his mouth, Jace was barking another order at him. "Leave."

The fury on his face was palpable when I turned to him once more. "What the fuck was that, Savannah?"

"Huh?" I hummed out, distractedly reaching out to grab the bottle, pouring more into my glass than what was acceptable.

He just shook his head, inhaling sharply before he reached for his own drink. "You're testing my patience tonight."

"Then take me home?" I snapped, rolling my eyes. "There's no point in being here. Not like I really want to be here with you right now." The alcohol flowing through my veins was making it easier to say what was on my mind.

Hurt flashed across his face for only a second, before he had his mask tightly back into place, a stony look the only thing on his face. "Is that so?" He hissed out.

I didn't reply, perking up once more when Trevor had come back with my drink. I eagerly gripped the glass from him, before settling back in my chair.

"It's fruity. You should like it." Trevor smiled, he winked once more before turning on his heel.

Jace was clearly fuming as I sipped at my drink, letting my eyes wander around the restuarant and at the gorgeous interior. It was relieving to know I would be feeling the alcohol soon and I wouldn't be having to stress about the events that would be happening in a few days time.

"What do you want for your birthday?" Jace spoke up, the strain clear in his voice as he attempted to strike up a conversation, though I only shrugged, more focused on the liquid that was clutched between my hands than what he was saying.

"Anything works for me! You could get me a stripper even!" I giggled at the thought, knowing that a stripped couldn't even compare to the man's body in front of me. "How funny would that be! He could wear your cop outfit!"

"Savannah," Jace's jaw was clenched as he spoke. "I'm trying to be serious."

"Oh, shush." I waved my hand at him, rolling my eyes. "Everyone needs to be a little less serious. Can't everyone just have fun!"

He didn't speak, instead sipping at his own glass, his eyes narrowed blankly behind me and I suddenly found myself distracted by the sight of him. His beautiful eyes, which could show so much passion had my heart quickening. His mouth was smoothed into a line, though I knew what it had to feel those lips against my own and it left me yearning.

I didn't want to leave. That thought was suddenly making it more difficult to breathe and I sucked in a harsh breath, biting my lip. My eyes suddenly felt a lot more watery.

The sound of me inhaling had Jace's gaze snapping back to my own and his eyes widening at the sight of tears in my eyes. "Savannah, what's wrong?" He whispered, before he was moving to get out of his chair, his intent to clearly get closer to me.

"It's fine, I'm fine! Sit down!" I commanded, shaking my head at him and giving him a shaky smile. "I'm good. I think it's my allergies."

Sitting down, he listened to me, though I could tell he didn't believe a word I was saying. The concern was still clear on his face - the wrinkle between his brows, the frown to his lips.

I wanted it to go away. I didn't want to believe that he could actually feel something like worry for me. If I was only a pawn to him, it wasn't fair to see those emotions on his face. So, I pasted an even larger smile on my face and gestured to his glass. "Drink! It's my birthday!"

"Not yet," He mumbled, still watching me carefully as he picked his glass up and took a sip.

"Still," I argued shooting him a look, as I begin to feel the bliss that the alcohol was awarding me. I swiped away the last of my tears, just as Trevor returned, huge plates of pasta and bread in his hands.

"Trevor! Hi! I loved your drink!" I swirled the fruity concoction around in my glass once more, before downing what was left. "It was delicious! Can I get another?"

"Glad you liked it." He offered me a smirk as he placed the pasta on the table. "I'll get you-"

"Not needed. Leave." Jace shot back, a deadly look on his face as his stare met the waiter's.

Trevor's friendly expression dropped into a nervous one and he quickly nodded, stumbling a step back to get away.

"Hey, that was rude." I pouted, reaching for my fork. "I wanted another one of those yummy-things."

"You definitely don't need one." He sat back, watching me with his arms crossed. "We still need to talk about everything."

"No, we definitely don't." I slurred, shaking my head fiercely. I took a large bite of pasta, bringing my eyes up to meet his own intense ones. "That is not needed."

"And why is that?" His tone was getting more aggressive as his frustration seemed to rise. "A lot has happened that we definitely need to discuss, Savannah."

Maybe it was the alcohol - it most definitely was - or maybe was the tension, but a tiny giggle escaped my lips, the situation seeming so dreadfully humorous. "There's no need because we both know how this is going to turn out!"

The corners of his lips pulled down and he abruptly leaned forward, eyes narrowed in a darkening glare. "Oh, do we?"

"Yes, we do." I waved my fork at him, picking up my glass with my other hand. "As if you didn't know what was going to happen since the start! I'm such an idiot I sighed." Shaking my head.

Confusion was finally appearing on his face. "What are you talking about, Savannah?" Urgency was clear in his voice.

I ignored him, focusing on the plate of food in front of me.

"Savannah!" He spoke loudly, reaching across to grip my wrist.

"Huh?" I stared at him wide-eyed.

"I know about what?" His expression was hard, almost painfully so.

I tilted my head at him. "I don't know what you're talking about." I shrugged, suddenly confused. I pressed a hand to my forehead, knowing the champagne had finally hit me. "This pasta is really yummy."

Jace exhaled heavily, leaning back and running a hand through his hair. "When you're sober, we're definitely having a talk."

"Happy Birthday to me!" I giggled, raising my glass once more and gulping it down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His arm was tight around me as he supported most of my weight. We were walking, I distantly realized, back to the limo. His skin against my own were doing things to my body that I didn't ever want to acknowledge.

"Savannah," He sighed disappointingly. "Why?"

"Why, what?" I questioned, blinking innocently at him as Callum suddenly appeared, smoothly pulling open the door to the back and stepping aside. Jace stared down at me for a moment, before urging me to slide in. I did, watching as he followed after me.

Callum quickly shut the door and moments later the engine started.

"Where to now?" I questioned brightly, taking one last glance at the pretty beach behind the restaurant.

"Bed." Jace answered stiffly, slumping in his seat and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Aw, why?" I whined, my lips pulling down into a frown. This was potentially the last night of fun I had before I was trapped by Ricardo and I didn't want it to end.

"Savannah, you're drunk."

"So...?"

He dropped his hand to stared at me, his hair messy from running his fingers through it so much. "I don't understand..." He muttered, finally shaking his head.

"I'm kinda confused too." I confessed, letting out a tiny giggle as I let my hand land on his thigh.

"I don't think you know what you're talking about." He argued, his eyes dropping to where my hand was rested, and I rolled my eyes.

"I do." I protested, I gave him a hesitant smile. "Because I don't know what to do."

"About what?" Jace slowly questioned, his eyes slowly narrowing in my direction.

I was more than just a little aware of the level of intoxication I was now at as I raked my fingertips in a slow pattern along Jace's chest. My eyelids felt heavy as I blearily stared up at him, unable to deny the attachment I was feeling towards him in my vulnerable state. The alcohol had only heightened the panic I felt at knowing I had possibly only a limited time with him. I pressed myself closer to him, our faces only inches apart.

"Hi, Jace." I whispered in his ear, feeling him tense under the palm of my hand at my suddenly-sultry whisper.

"What are you doing?" He cleared his throat, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. He shifted, his body stiff. "You're drunk."

"Maybe I am." I murmured carelessly, loosely sliding a palm down his chest, arching an eyebrow as I did. "But, that doesn't really matter, does it?"

"I think it does." He disagreed, his eyes slowly shifting to my mouth. "I think it really does. Especially after everything that has-"

"Let's not talk about that." I interrupted him, clumsily swatting a hand over his lips. I shook my head, blinking at him. "That's not important right now."

"It is." He protested, shifting away from my grip, but not dropping his gaze from mine. "You're not thinking straight. You don't even technically like me right now and-"

"Jace," I interrupted him, rolling my eyes at his words. My lips twisted into a sly smirk. "I like you a lot right now."

"No-"

"Shush," I giggled lowly, dropping my palm from his chest and instead resting it on the hem of my shirt, tracing the soft material that edged against my thighs. "Want me to show you just how much I like you right now?"

Jace froze, his eyes flickering down to where my hands rested for a moment, before running slowly over my body, back to my face.

My body felt hotter under his gaze, and I fidgeted, sinking my teeth into my lip.

"Savannah," He whispered huskily, running a hand over his hair as he watched me. I watched his mouth, mesmerized by the way his lips moved.

Moving quickly, I hitched my thigh off the seat, tossing my leg over both of his until I was straddling his lap. I pressed myself tightly against him, allowing myself to feel every inch of his warm body and just how much I had affected him.

He hands automatically rested upon my waist, his eyes wide with shock at my movement. I had never been this forward with him and he was clearly surprised by my actions. Heck, I was too. But, even I could feel how he subconsciously pressed himself harder against me.

"Savannah," He gritted out, groaning and leaning his head back to rest his neck on the seat. "This isn't a good idea."

Distracted by the exposed skin of his throat, I wondered if he tasted as good as he smelled. His musky scent surrounded me and I inhaled greedily.

"I think it's a very good idea." I leaned forward, unable to resist, and pressed my lips against his neck. He released a low groan, his eyes slamming shut. Sucking lightly on the skin, I let my nails dig into his broad shoulders.

"Savannah." Jace repeated, his voice a mere growl as his fingers tightened on my hips. "We need to stop before this goes to far."

"No, we don't." I pulled back on for a minute, trailing my lips up to closer to his jawline, his scruff tickling the side of my face. I wanted him to touch me - no, I needed him to.

My arousal built as I felt his excitement press tighter against my core. I exhaled sharply, my breathing increasing as his hands dropped to the tops of my thighs. He pulled his face back, his eyes boring into my own for a second, before he seemed to lose the battle he was having within himself and he smashed my lips against my own.

His warm lips worked against mine, tasting of expensive champagne and himself. The kiss was rougher than usual and I moaned lightly against his mouth, my hand moving downwards-

...before I was roughly shoved off his body.

I drunkenly fell to the side of him, back onto my original seat. He was breathing hard, loosening his tie and running a hand through his hair to try and attempt to tame his now-messy hair.

"Stop. You're drunk." He spoke, his voice husky and sounding tortured. Jace spoke lower then, as if talking to himself. "Not a good idea."

"Fuck you," I muttered darkly to myself, sitting straight up in my chair.

"Savannnah..." He sighed, looking regretful as he reached out for me.

"Just stop." I leaned my head back against the seat, suddenly feeling much more sober.

"Can we just talk about this?"

I was surprised by his tone. I had never heard the hint of begging I heard in his voice now. It made me pause, my eyes flickering back to his own which was staring directly at me. He looked almost... vulnerable.

"What's there to talk about?" I questioned, trying to keep my voice emotionless. "It's fine."

"You know I want you." His voice had dropped, his eyes boring back into my own. "You know how much I fucking want you."

My breath caught and my teeth sunk into my lip. "What's the problem then?"

"You're drunk." He was arguing with himself, that much was clear.

I slid closer once more, this time much more hesitant. "I want this. I've wanted this."

He inhaled sharply, his eyes dropping back to my lips. "Have you?" He murmured huskily, his hand reaching out to grip the back of my neck that cause shivers to snake up my spine.

Biting my lip, with his eyes dropping to my mouth, I slid closer. I wanted this, I knew that much.

"Please, Jace?" I whispered, my eyes flickered back up to his own.

That seemed to be enough for him to win the argument that was waging within himself and he pulled me close once more, his mouth molding with my own. Moving myself to rest over his lap once more, I moaned. My dress rode up, his warm hands running over the tops of my thighs as I yanked him closer, gripping his shoulders tightly. We were both breathing heavily as he pulled away.

"We're going to be back to the house soon." Jace hesitated, his eyes sweeping over my form.

"Which room should I meet you in then?" I whispered, letting my lips connect with the side of his mouth once more.

His lips twisted into a smirk, pressing his lips briefly against mine. "Which one do you think has the better bed?"

I rolled my eyes, trying to control my breathing as I pulled myself off of him, smoothing my dress down. I was barely able to contain my flush at the thought of how clear it would be for the Callum to know exactly what we had been doing back here.

"Mr. Kingston, we're arriving." Callum spoke over an intercom, the limo slowly drifting to a stop. I blinked blearily at the bright lights that flooded the driveway.

"Thanks, Callum." Jace nodded, straightening his jacket. He turned to me once more, his eyes running over my body once more, before a smirk began to make it's way onto his face.

"What?" I groaned, covering my eyes with my hands.

"It's nothing." He shook his head, sliding over once more and tilting my chin up. "It's just - you look sexy."

A blush instantly colored my cheeks and I bit my lip, unable to control the fluttering of my heart.

Jace pulled away, but not before giving me another hair-raising kiss, just as Callum pulled open the door.

He leaned in, his lips brushing against my ear. "I'll see you in my room then, Ms. Stone."

And then he was sliding out of the limo, leaving me flustered and flushed.

Callum gave me a knowing look as I finally got out, smoothing my dress once more.

"Oh, shush." I groaned, wanting a hole to open up and swallow me. Aware of how drunk I still was, I carefully stumbled to the house, Jace nowhere in sight. A tiny smile twisted my lips. I was going to finally get what I had always wanted.

He had left the door open ajar and I eased inside, kicking off my heels quietly. With no one in sight, I made my way to the stairs. Nerves had begun to set in, causing a tingle in my belly that made my breath catch.

Sucking in a breath, I quickly made my way up the stairs, only hesitating at the top.

Was this really what I wanted? Was this a good idea?

I wasn't able to stop my feet from padding forward across the carpet, the thought of Jace and the alcohol urging me forward.

The sight of the door to his bedroom had my heart pounding though I didn't allow myself to think.

His room stood empty. I bit my lip as I peeked in, scanning the fireplace that was burning and the hazy light it cast over the empty room. shutting the door behind me, I turned towards the bathroom, my brows crinkling at the sight of the dark room.

A squeak left my lips as familiar hands looped around my waist.

"Shh," He chuckled, tucking his nose into the side of my neck. "It's just me. What took you so long?"

"I barely took three minutes." I shot back, twisting to place my hands flat against his sturdy chest and stare up at him.

He smirked, leaning down to capture my lips with his own. Our lips meshed together, fighting for dominance. I bite down on his lip, sucking on it gently. I pressed tighter against his body, wanting to feel him as close as I could. He groaned, leaning his forehead against my own. "You're driving me crazy."

"Good." I smirked devilishly up at him, before turning away. "Help me unzip?" I questioned innocently, wiggling my backside at him.

He growled underneath his breath, before I felt his hands on my hips, yanking me closer once more. "I want you." He mumbled, then he was pulling away. His hand gripped my zipper, yanking it down eagerly.

"Be gentle!" I complained as he pulled the dress off of me. "I bet that was expensive!"

"Who cares?" He mumbled, and I was suddenly distracted by the heat of his bare hands as he gripped my waist. "Fuck, Savannah."

I exhaled sharply, my eyes sliding shut as his nose ghosted from my jaw to my shoulder and back up.

"Please," I begged, leaning my head back, exposing more skin for him to kiss. And kiss me he did. He lips sucked at my neck, leaving little kisses down my throat. He pulled away with a groan, squeezing his eyes shut.

"I need you - now." The urgency was clear in his voice as attacked my lips with his own once more, a new ferocity in the kiss that wasn't there before. He pressed my tighter against his body, his hands dangerously low on my back, keeping me prisoner against him so all I could feel was the heat of his body and his excitement pushed into my abdomen.

The feel of him against me had my stomach twisting with nerves and I squeezed my legs together, my body yearning to be further touched by his own. "Jace." I whispered breathlessly, pushing him away far enough so my hands could latch onto his belt. "I want you."

"You have me." He murmured, his eyes watching me as I focused on the buckle underneath my hands. I swallowed nervously, never having done this before.

"I-"

"You don't have to do this." He ran is hand down the side of my face, "We can just go to sleep-"

"No." I vehemently forced out, wanting this far too much.

A smirk skated onto to his lips and he tilted his head, strands of his wavy hair falling forward. "Then what are you waiting for?"

Nervously, I allowed myself to pull his buckle loose, his bulge pressed against my hand as I did so. He groaned, his head falling back. "You're killing me, Savannah. Come here." With his belt loose, he pulled off what was left, leaving me in the scraps of lace I had underneath.

He stared for a moment and just as my self-consciousness was beginning to kick in, he moved once more, pushing me onto the bed so that I flat on my back. "You're beautiful." He murmured, pressing a kiss against my collarbone. I squirmed, wanting him to touch me - needing him to touch me.

"Please?" I whimpered, arching my back as he placed a kiss just above my chest, his eyes roving over the lace covering my breasts. I trembled, my knees shaking from where they were bent. I clutched at his shoulders, yearning for him to touch me. His mouth hovered over one of my breasts, the heat of his breath teasing me. "Jace." I whined, squirming under him.

"Yes?" He murmured, a stray hand brushing lightly over my thigh, taunting me.

"Touch me," I whispered breathlessly, digging my fingers into his shoulders as I shut my eyes. "Please."

An impatient pause, before his lips were against mine once more, this time with a roughness I wasn't expecting. I whimpered into his mouth, the ache within me growing. The need for release was impossible to not focus on. His hand moved to grip the back of my head, holding me captive against his lips. His other skirted over my chest, smoothing over my sensitive buds in a way that had me crying out. He focused on one, rubbing it in a way that had me pushing myself further into his hand. I gasped as he pinched it, the pain causing a rush of heat in my gut that I hadn't expected.

His arousal pressed harder against me, almost demanding my attention. I mewled at the friction, loving the way he was rubbing himself against me. My eyes rolled back into my head at the feel of him so tightly against me. I needed him to touch more of me, I needed to feel more of his skin against my own.

Abruptly he sat up and I let out a sound of protest, which quickly ended at the sight of what he was doing. Jace yanked the buttons undone from his shirt, exposing his muscled body underneath. He tossed his shirt behind him, watching me with an almost lazy-stare.

"Jace," I murmured breathlessly, my eyes resting on the belt that he was pulling loose. He kicked off his pants, his boxers coming with them. I sucked in a breath at the size of him, feeling much more nervous than I had been before. Want still teased my core and I squirmed.

He moved back over me, nudging my chin upward so he could nip at my neck as he rubbed a hand over my inner thigh, dangerously close to where I really wanted him to touch. The thought that only a thin piece of lace was what separated us was torturing.

I wanted him so bad. I ran my fingers eagerly over his chest, before reaching down to tentatively touch him. He moaned under his breath, swearing at he pushed himself more forcefully into my hand. "Savannah," He groaned, pressing his lips briefly against my neck.

"I want you." I whispered, letting my hand move over him in a way that had him squeezing his eyes shut and his jaw clenching. "I want you right now."

"Soon," He murmured, before pulling the cups of my bra aside so he could latch his mouth onto the hard pebbles on my chest. I cried out once more, tightening my grip on him as his flicked his tongue over them. He hand slid over my center, light enough where he was still teasing. I hissed underneath my breath, wiggling in desperation to feel more pressure. I sighed in frustration.

"Did you need something?" He teased, but before I could get a word out, he had shoved aside the barrier and was rubbing me.

I'm pretty sure my eyes rolled back into my head as I collapsed against the pillows, sighing in pleasure. "Don't stop," I murmured, shifting my body up with desperation for more friction.

"I need you." He groaned out, sitting up so he could yank off my panties. "I need you now."

"Yes," I breathlessly begged, trying not to focus on how naked I was.

Leaning over me once more, he rubbed himself against me, watching as I squeezed my eyes shut in pleasure. "Are you ready for this?"

I was only able to nod, not able to speak with the feeling of pleasure he was giving me.

He still hesitated, looking concerned.

"Just do it," I murmured, staring up at him trustfully. I knew he wouldn't hurt me purposefully. "Please."

He hesitancy cleared at my words and then he was pressing himself into me. The pain was adamant and I squeezed my eyes shut, but I forced myself to stay relaxed, knowing it would eventually feel good. I let out a shaky breath.

"Savannah - I can't. I can see it's hurting you." He paused and my eyes shot open to stare at his conflicted face.

"I'm okay." I blinked up at him and my words were honest. The pain wasn't really there anymore and instead was a tingle of want. I flushed, suddenly feeling the need to move and I wiggled slightly against him, moaning at the feel of him in me. "Please?" I whimpered.

He still looked hesitant so he pushed himself slightly further into my and I moaned - loudly. Hot need was making me squirm and I knew I need him moving now.

Clenching against him, I tightened my legs around his waist and he groaned, before pushing deeper into me.

"Jace," I whimpered, needing more of him as I gripped him tighter, my nails digging into his back.

He only grunted, thrusting harder into me as I moaned, unable to stop myself from release as I arched my back against him, unable to do anything but slump against the bed as tremors rocked through me. Eventually he found his own finish, spilling himself into me as he shouted his release.

More tired than I could comprehend, I rolled onto my side. Jace pulled the blankets over my shoulders, shifting closer so his side was pressed even tighter against my body.

I forced myself to remain still, trying to keep my breathing even as I felt him run a hand over my head, smoothing down the mop that my hair had become. I could feel the lack of alcohol once again running through my veins and that was a slap of reality.

I was glad my face was turned away from him as I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, forcing my body to relax from the tensed position it had been in. I could only hear the soft exhale of his breathing and his warm breath brushing over my skin.

"I love you." He whispered, his voice quiet against the silence of the night as a lone finger strayed over my naked collarbone.

My breath caught in my throat, and I was unable to resist the rush of longing tightening my chest at his words. But I knew the truth. It wasn't safe to trust his words, because I could feel my hope trying to grow, threatening to swallow my being, as I felt him trace another pathway over my arm.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I blinked blearily at the alarm clock, too bright against the darkness of the room. My throat grew tighter with each minute that passed by fleetingly, so insignificant yet so important.  I could feel his heart beating calmly against my back, the heat of his body pressed against mine, a reassuring feeling of safety I would never be able to understand.

My head throbbed threateningly. I resisted a moan as I attempted to halt the urge to bury myself deeper into the comfort of Jace's side, only knowing that if I did, it would be so much harder to pull away.

Tears lingered in my eyes with the realization that this would potentially be the only chance I could get to make my escape, though now, here in his arms, the thought of ever leaving was torturous in itself.

His heat almost burned against me, so comforting yet so painful. His presence was just a reminder of his betrayal and my weakness for not wanting to accept it.

What I felt for Jace, it was real. I could feel it in the pounding of my heart whenever he walked into the room or when he cast a glance my way. I could feel it when his skin brushed against mine, or when he'd tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, or whenever he was simply by my side.

Jace was addicting. He was my own personal drug - something it seemed I simply couldn't live without. I could feel how I almost leaned on him, looking for the satisfaction his presence seemed to give me. I had given something to him, more than just what had occurred hours ago. I had given him a piece of me that I could never get back and that was more frightening than ever having to face Ricardo.

But, I knew that kind of love wasn't healthy. My attachment to Jace was something I couldn't find enough reason for. I didn't know the man enough. I didn't know the simplest things about him, like his favorite food or what he did in his spare time. To put it basically, I didn't know Jace, and it was dawning on me that he didn't really know me either.

A tear hitting the pillow cast the realization on me that I was crying.

To me, loving Jace was easy. It came naturally, quickly, and passionately. But, it was also scary. He had the ability to break me. He held the power in his hands and the knowledge that he didn't necessarily care about that fact made my fear come easily.

And how could he feel the same way? After everything that happened?

In a way, I didn't blame him for what he did. His love for Stella was something different than his love for me and for that, I could understand why he played me, which I loathed. I wanted to hate him, I wanted to yell at him and hit him and never help him. But I just couldn't. It wasn't in me to do that.

There was desperation in my chest to stay with him, yet the overwhelming feeling to leave - to run - was just too much. I wanted to be free from him, I wanted him to be happy and I wanted myself to be happy.

But I'd be lying if I said I didn't just want to wrap my arms around him and never let go.

Which is why I had to do this now.

I reluctantly pried myself away from his warm being, gently loosening his arms from their embrace around my waist, before quietly sliding out of the safety and warmth of the bed. I could feel tears beginning to surface in my eyes once more and I blinked against them, staring down at the man who had somehow captured my heart in the short time that I had known him.

Knowing that it was time to leave, I forced myself to grab my crumpled clothing with shaky hands and dress myself. The fabric felt foreign against my skin, only increasing the violent need to crawl back by Jace more than ever. The slight ache between my legs caused me to wince as I moved quickly, only another reminder of what Jace and I had briefly shared last night.

I turned to face him once more, allowing my eyes to trace over his features, attempting in vain to remember him as he looked in this moment; his hair a messy mop, his lips pulled into a peaceful line, the way his muscular chest moved slowly as he breathed, the scruff covering his jaw.

I couldn't resist the urge to reach a single finger out, tracing his jaw, my lips pressing together in weak effort to hold back a sob. I reached into the pocket of my jeans, quietly rummaging through the pocket to pull out the folded note I had written earlier this morning. I unwrinkled it, studying the words that had been scrawled out hurriedly.

I'm sorry. Goodbye.

I laid it on his bedside table, shakily pressing a hand to my lips as I turned to him once more. I shut my eyes, briefly, my heart thumping as I stumbled back closer to his side, before kneeling down so I was eye-level to him. My head throbbed as I leaned forward, inhaling his scent and trying to engrave it into my memory.  Pressing my lips together, I allowed myself to say the words I wished I had admitted to him earlier.

"I love you too." I informed his sleeping figure, allowing my lips to touch his cheek once more, before I turned and made my exit, unable to stop my tears from rolling down as I hastily left the room.

And from that moment on, Jace Kingston was my past.