20. Saturdays

Yeah, I'm not sure what the hell is wrong with me.

I'm pretty sure that I'm an idiot but then again, at the same time, I feel like I might be a bit of a saint - not to too my own horn, of course.

Despite the fact that Liam hadn't explicitly asked me to do so, I convinced Julie to go out with Liam.

It wasn't really an easy job, since that girl just seemed to be lacking some confidence. People at her old school must have been horrible, to make her feel so down and bad about herself.

That's just mean and cruel.

I think I did manage to make her a feel somewhat better about herself, or at least I hoped so.

That's one of the best things about having friends around you, is that they give you a confidence boost when you need one. The amount of times I've Sara tell me I'm gorgeous when I wasn't really feeling myself. It really helped.

However, after all of that, when I got home later that day, I just stayed in my room.

I felt really tired, plus the everything from the party and then later talking to Julie about Liam, I was just knackered.

Although, I think I am getting better at making people believe all is good with me.

A small part of me wanted to yell, scream, cry, but I can't. I shouldn't feel sorry for myself, when I am the reason this is happening. I told him I would help him, that was on me.

So my first love is left incomplete, not everyone has to be whole, right?

***

It's been a week since that party.

I won't lie, school was getting to feel a little harder on some days, even if I was trying to not let it show.

Danny would sometimes give me a look when would I turn away from seeing Liam or Julie, and I'm worried he'll find out.

From what I know, they still haven't gone on their date yet, but the way they look at each other can sometimes be unbearable, to say the least.

Today, I'm just so glad today is a Saturday. I can shut myself off from the world for day...well, except for my parents.

After finishing with lunch with my parents, I headed up to my room.

I think my Mum is convinced that something is up with me, and I know my Dad thinks something as well. He'll occasionally give me this all-knowing smile, whilst distracting my Mum and I don't know what to think about that. He can't know...I think.

There are times where my Dad doesn't always know the right thing to say but I know he means well, and that's all I really want.

To be honest, I am afraid to tell someone what's going on.

It's mainly, because I know how stupid it is on my part, to be helping Liam with my his. But also, I'm scared to breakdown in front of someone.

I am not weak, I keep reminding myself.

So, as unhealthy as it is, I keep it all in. It'll go away, I just need time.

As I was heading up the stairs, I heard the doorbell ring. Before my Mum could shout for me to take it, I just decided to get a head start.

"I'll get it," I shouted.

When I opened the front door, I'm surprised to find someone who I didn't particularly want to see on my 'I'm going to shut myself off from the world' Saturday...

"Liam?" I said his name in confusion.

Ah come on, universe. It's a Saturday!

"I need help," he told me, sounding slightly panicked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him.

I really want to curse, loudly, but unfortunately my parents are home.

"Please, Rena. I need your help," he said all jittery, before walking through the door.

And that is how I lost, what's was meant to be, my peaceful Saturday.

"By all means come in, and also, I'm pretty sure I'm already helping with something," I said, as I closed the door.

I then look at Liam a little annoyed. "You really need more help? Because at some point, I'm gonna need to start asking for favours to balance this friendship."

Maybe I should ask for money?

"No, I need help, with the help, you're already helping me with," he said.

Was that even in English? I didn't understand a word of that.

"What the-" I began to say, but get cut off.

"Liam, my son. How are you?" My Dad chimed into our conversation.

Why must he walk into the living room now?

"Mr Hastings," Liam smiled instantly seeing my Dad. "I'm good, and yourself?" He asked, shaking his hand.

"Never better. You still playing football?" My Dad then asked, despite knowing the answer all too well. He talks to Liam's Dad regularly enough to know this.

I honestly have no clue why my Dad wants to strike up a conversation now. And then I have Liam here, acting as if he hadn't just asked me for some help in a pleading manner.

"Yes, Sir. I can't just leave my team hanging, like that," Liam joked.

Idiot.

"Of course not," my Dad laughed at Liam's lame joke. "You know, son, when I was your age..."

Before my Dad could go back to the 'good old days', my Mum walked into the room.

"Oh hush, Mark. No one wants to hear that story again, they've heard it already," she smiled at my Dad, whilst he playfully scowled back at her.

"Liam, honey, how are you?" Mum asked him, whilst giving him a hug.

Liam hugged her back, just as tight. "I'm good, Mrs Hastings. How are you?"

"Please, it's Zara dear. Do you want anything eat?" She asked him, with this weird sparkle in her eyes.

There she goes with the force feeding again.

"No, I'm good. Thank you. I actually needed to speak to Rena about something important," he said and I looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

What is so important? I'm going to kill him if it's something stupid.

"You sure, nothing to eat?" Mum then pushed. She really can't help herself.

"Mum, stop," I told her.

She then held up her hands in a surrendering motion. "Fine, fine. I'm just so glad you guys are getting along again. It's about time."

Ah crap. I was hoping she wouldn't bring that up.

Our parents are really good friends, and stayed that way even when Liam and I weren't on the best of terms. Emma, Liam's Mum, loves me. Apparently she always wanted a daughter, and to her, that's me.

I seriously hope that didn't mean I had to see Liam in a brotherly way, because that never happened.

Throughout the years, I often went around to their house to drop off something my Mum would make. I always got along with his parents, and he got along with mine.

My younger self used think this was a some kind of sign, my older self, knows better...now...ish.

"Mum, please," I said.

I wouldn't say that I'm easily embarrassed. I mean, I've harboured a crush for my neighbour for nearly ten years.

However, my mother talking, now that's worse.

"Okay fine," she smirked.

"Let's go up to my room, Liam," I then told him, in hopes for some privacy.

"No funny business, son. Hands to yourself," my Dad then playfully warned Liam.

Correction, both my father and mother are embarrassing.

"Dad!" I shouted.

I gave Liam an apologetic look, whilst he just gave me a nervous smile. He kind of looked flustered, if I'm honest.

"It was a joke, Rena. He knows not to do anything, especially when a trained officer with an actual gun, is in the house," he said, in a smug voice.

"Dad!"

"Mark."

Both Mum and I said at the same time and he just laugh. That was so embarrassing.

***

"So, now will you use actual words and tell me what's wrong?" I asked Liam, as I closed my room door behind me.

"I have my date today," he said, pacing in my room.

I rolled my eyes. "And what? You want my blessing?" I said, unable to stop myself from sounding off.

He is ruining my plans of solitude Saturday.

"I need help. When Julie said yes, I was so ecstatic that she said yes, it was all that I could think about. Like an idiot I said, I'll take her out, and it's now today and I have nothing planned. I want it to be right, but I have nothing, and Christ, the date is in only a few hours," he said all in one breath.

Okay, so just to be clear, the Liam I knew was all a lot more cooler than this one. And I mean way more. He was less of a blubbering mess. He wasn't a nervous-wreck, always calm and collected, unfazed by other things.

"Liam, breathe," I then had to tell him.

He shook his head. "No, I can't. I'm going to fuck everything up before anything happens."

Then he ran his hands through his hair.

How do guys do that, but make them it look messy-perfect, instead of just a mess. I could never.

"Liam!" I shouted his name, as I tried to snap him out of it.

"Okay, breathing," he then told me, taking in deep breaths.

"Why are you so nervous? You've been on dates before," I then reminded him.

He's never been like this. I'm not saying that all guys have to be all emotionless, or anything, but Liam's never been like this.

"Yes, but not like this. Not with her," Liam replied.

Her. That makes sense.

"Right," I then nodded.

I should've known. Julie has had some crazy effect on him since day one.

"Help me," Liam begged.

"Have you tried google? I've heard it's a very popular search engine," I then told him with a sweet smile.

That wasn't exactly a no to his request. Plus, it's an honest suggestion. Anyway, how do you help the guy you love, go out on a date with your friend?

"But you're her friend, you know her. What would she like?" He asked me.

"I've haven't known her that long. We don't just sit and talk about what would our perfect date be," I told him.

Liam looks back at me with a confused expression. "You don't?"

At his words, I did what any normal person would've done, I smacked him upside to head. Well, it was kind of below his neck really.

"You're an idiot" I told him, as I smacked him.

After wincing, he then collapsed back onto my bed and covered his face with his hands.

"Fuck. What am I going to do?" He groaned.

"You could jump off a cliff," I suggested.

I know I being deliberately mean, but this was meant to be my Saturday away from all of this and other problems. I just wanted to chill.

"Rena," he said my name and pouted. Damn him.

"Okay, first calm down," I told him and he nodded. "The last thing she'd want is a sweaty guy turning up to the date," I tugged on his arm, forcing him to sit up.

Liam then heaved himself up and sat on the bed, his eyes on me.

"Look, as far as I know her, she wouldn't like anything flashy. It's a first date, do something simple," I tried to help him out.

It's also her first date ever, he needs to do something where she won't feel all nervous or uncomfortable. Plus, knowing Julie, she'd be exactly that.

Funnily enough, it's also how this conversation, makes me feel.

"Simple? I can do that. What does simple mean?" He then scratched his head.

"Haven't you ever taken a girl out on a date?" I asked him, knowing for a fact he has taken Amy out before.

He shook his head and then nodded.

"Okay, yeah. But that was Amy and she basically told me we are going out and then we went for one dinner. Plus, this is a girl I actually like," he told me.

"I just-...I don't know-...I..." I began talking whilst I was thinking, which made it all come out in a blabber.

Liam then tilts his head slightly, whilst looking at me.

"What would you want?" He asked.

My eyes widened at his question. "Excuse me?" I asked him, once I felt like I could talk.

"If I was going to take you out, what would you want me to do for you?" He then asked, looking me in the eyes.

I paused for a moment, thinking about his question.

If I tell him, he'd probably want to use this as his first date. But then again, it wasn't like this was something near and dear to me. It could easily be searched and let's be real, I'm single. There's no one taking me out on dates, so I guess there's no real harm in telling him.

"Arcade," I then told him with a smile.

"Arcade?" Liam repeated, looking surprised.

"Yeah, it'd be a fun date. It would be less awkward, since you'd both be focused on the game, and each other, you'd barely notice the awkwardness. There wouldn't be any silence, like if you went to go watch a movie. You could even win her something. She'd like that. Oh and then, milkshakes or ice cream, basically some sort of dessert to end the date on a sweet note. Also, that way during that time, you get to talk. It's simple," I told him.

I honestly didn't think that I had that many emotions towards the Arcade.

"I like it. It's simple, fun and sweet," he said. "I actually thought you'd say fireworks," Liam then added.

I laughed. "Fireworks?"

"Yeah. I mean you've always loved them. Especially when our families used to go to the town's display every year," he said.

He remembered that?

"I do love them," I mentioned.

That was always a fun day. When I was younger, my Dad would carry me on his shoulders to see the display.

"When you go on a first date with someone you really like, I'll let him know to do something with fireworks," he then said.

I snorted at his words. Yeah, because that was going to happen.

Liam then stood up. "Would it be okay if I use your Arcade idea for the date?" He asked me.

"No, I don't mind," I shook my head gently.

I don't think I would want to go on that date now anyway. I think I'd rather have fireworks.

Liam then pulled me into a hug. "Thank you, Rena." He then moved back and gently cupped my face. "You're the best," he told me.

I smiled and nodded, after which he hugged me once more.

He's so close, yet so far. But not far enough, for me not to get hurt.